Day 2,171

I’m very appreciative for the interest the boys have in playing sports while in school. Tonight was a doubleheader of soccer games for the Kreilings, a JV game followed by Varsity. The outcomes of the games were different but they both had something in common.

One of the things I appreciate about sports is their ability to coach all of us on life lessons. There were a small handful tonight for the boys and for me. Nothing crazy or earth shattering, but some excellent reminders. I’ll leave it to the boys to talk about theirs.

Mine were rather simple. Remember that I don’t always know the backstory. I can only control what I can control. Take a deep breath to think before responding with emotion. Sometimes the role of a dad is to do the difficult stuff that doesn’t feel good. Sounding like my dad is the worst… and the best all at the same time.

All great thoughts, all through sports.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,170

I’m still working through all my thoughts and emotions from what I’ve experienced over the past handful of days. Even the 11 hours of driving wasn’t enough to sort through the range of thoughts and newly created memories. Rather than chance losing some thoughts along the way I’ll jot some of them down now, and rather than worry about perfection in my writing I’ll skip any concern over perfection. (That’s probably a space I should explore more often!)

Steve is currently working on completing one of his big bucket list dreams – through hiking the entirety of the almost 500 mile Colorado Trail. I joined him for a couple of days on his journey and savored every minute of it. Here are some random thoughts from the trail:

• The mountains have been here longer than humans have existed and they will exist long after humans do not. Remember this perspective to stay humble and maintain perspective.
• Funny how good friends can almost develop their own language.
• There is a joy to be found in chosen suffering, especially when suffered for a noble cause.
• The quiet trail can speak to the soul so much more clearly than a crowded street.
• It is truly unique to see how little one really needs to live. So much stuff surrounds me that is unnecessary.
• Stripping down life to its most simple leads to both a profound joy and clarity of purpose.
• Escape to the desert, create space to be, get out of our normal and comfortable mind, and close the gap.
• We are social creatures yet I find frustration in large crowds while also knowing complete solitude and living as a hermit also brings frustration. How to find through balance and fine line? Listen to the words of Merton while also remembering how he lived.
• What a difference purpose makes in life!
• It is easier to sleep deeply when I’m not worried about being attacked by a bear. Remember we all may have their bears in another form. Help each other remove the fear.
• Squirrels can be jerks, especially when they attack with pine cones.
• To filter water or not to filter water? Remember the conversation of the other two hikers – “I don’t filter and I’ve never had giardia.” “You will.”
• Remember the conversation with the married hikers who heard a noise but heard it very differently. Being right isn’t always right, play the long game.
• Time in nature is always the right answer.
• If one must be stuck in traffic there are not many better places than a beautiful mountain valley.

In addition to lessons was the opportunity to walk with Steve. So many memories created, so many laughs, and so many steps. I’m so blessed to have had the opportunity to tag along on his dream adventure!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,169

I’m continually impressed with how the right lessons seem to hit at the right time.

I’ve been on a Thomas Merton kick as of late. The lessons from his books have been resonating louder and more clearly than ever before. I’ve the last week many of my actions have been guided through his teachings and have led me to better live into what is starting to seem more and more like my purpose. What a wonderful gifts those lessons are!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,168

Many miles of hiking today with Steve. The trail segment had many stunning views of the mountains, the basin, and everything in between. At one point we crossed a stream that I could have sat by for hours – so serene!

The views were certainly a bit of a challenge to get to. One single six mile stretch of the hike was a constant incline. It was brutal, but well worth it.

As I lay in my tent I am feeling 100% spent. And it feels amazing!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,167

Our campsite tonight is about half a mile away from the nearest water source. To get all the water needed for the night I made the trip twice. During those trips – so simple in nature – I had a profound sense of purposeful peace.

I need water to live, thus I needed to go get water. This wasn’t a on extra thing, it wasn’t a diversion, and it wasn’t for fun. It was because it had to be. In that moment life was stripped down to what was needed from what was wanted. I was doing exactly what I should be doing in that time.

Something about the clarity of purpose, the freedom from distraction, the simplicity of the task, and the fact that it was all outdoors and in the mountains created such a peace. What a beautiful moment!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,166

That was quite the drive today! It was dark when I left and dark when I arrived. Other than a few gas station stops and a Walmart run I drove straight through, 15 hours.

What I’ll most likely remember most is a day in two parts. On my way out I watched the sunrise over the bluffs in the rearview mirror. On the way into town I was blessed to watch the sunset over the mountains in Colorado. Stunning beauty on both ends. Contemplative quiet time in between.

What a wonderful day!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,165

Wowza!!! Today I officially launched my book, Rise: My Journey through Grief to Growth at https://mikekreiling.com/book/ The response has totally blown my mind.

Hugs, comments, memories, smiles, laughs, and a few tears have all happened in various volumes throughout the day. I go to bed tonight feeling completely overwhelmed in a wonderful way.

My hope of this work being a ripple of positivity for someone who needs it seems to be coming true. For everyone who send a note, text, message, or comment today – thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m feel so humbled and honored to have been in your thoughts today!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,164

When I started finding pictures for Becky’s birthday I noticed that most had something in common…

They were almost all outside!

One of the many things I love about Becky is her passion for the outdoors. Spending time with her outside is usually some of my favorite time. Seeing how much time we spent outside together this past year of her life has me smiling big time!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,163

As I get closer and closer to setting my secret free into the wild I’m getting little sneak peeks into the future. What I’m finding is that the reward is already so much greater than I ever could have imagined.

Through this experience I’ve been able to dig more deeply into what makes me tick and why – and what should make me tick and why I should push myself out of my comfort zone to pursue it. So much self reflection and looking inwardly, working on myself. As this project has recently eclipsed the five year mark this is where most of my focus has been – inward.

As it is slowly sneaking out I’m already beside myself at the ripples outward. I’ve already received a response to it which has made the entire project worthwhile. No, not a monetary response – that was never the intent. Rather, a response of increased joy. My work has brought joy to another – as a result of a very challenging time and hours of writing my pain and hurt have been transformed into joy for another. I could not hope for a better ripple to leave behind as a legacy.

At yoga tonight the sticker on the floor in front of me said “Make a Ripple.” As I witnessed the ripple at the beginning of our practice I could t help but chuckle to myself. Make a ripple? Check!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,162

One of the benefits of daily blogging is something that has taken me quite some time to see. Sure, I know it is happening, but just like trying to notice the growth of a tree it is to be measured in years, not days.

By pausing to write each day I’m taking time to travel inward. Not in an egotistical way, rather a trying to figure out how my brain works kind of way. The time to stop and think really helps me focus on the gap between who is am and who I am called to be. What’s interesting is that along the way this blogging time really has really been helping me see more clarity to the other side of the gap – helping me see where I’m really trying to go. So often I focus on the gap itself and figure out how to close it, in many ways I should be focusing more on the other side, the goal. As I blog each night it seems there’s a little more clarity. I’m focusing on the things which seem most right, the ideals I’m seeing as where I should be working towards.

Blogging has significantly increased the joy in my life through the focus on gratitude. By vigilantly focusing on gratitude I seem to be shaping a better picture of who is should be growing into. What an interesting side benefit of blogging!

Thanks!!!