Day 2,771

Growth:

We all come at life from different perspectives. Remembering to listen to other experiences rather than impose my thoughts based on my experiences is profoundly insightful. Listen, learn, then filter rather than filter, disprove, then judge.

Appreciation:

What a full day! Boys making excellent progress in track, time with extended family, time with friends, time with other friends, time alone reviewing photos, time with Becky on the couch enjoying a movie, and relatively early bed. Life is good!

Presence:

The boys had plans with some of grit track friends so Becky and I fired up a movie we’ve been meaning to watch for quite some time. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent was way better than it had any right to be! Chilling on the couch, laughing together, relaxing…. Ahh… a wonderful way to wrap up a Saturday!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,770

Growth:

So much can be learned through purposeful play. Several of the projects I’ve been working on involve new skillsets as I’d I’ve been doing my best to keep a beginner’s mindset. The play I’ve had as a result has been bitch fun and productive.

Appreciation:

I’m a huge fan of the book Once a Runner. It’s an aged but classic fictional tale of a college mile runner who’s singleminded quest really details what grit is all about. So many take award this fourth or fifth time through, so glad I picked it up again!

Presence:

Hanging out and playing a game with Gavin was exactly what I needed to wrap up the night! It was a nail biter that got pretty ridiculous by the end, so much fun!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,769

Growth:

Who knew that you could continue falling more and more in love with someone every single day? How awesome that each day gets better than the wonderful day before it!

Appreciation:

Spending the day with Becky from start to end was a perfect way to spend our 21st wedding anniversary. From hiking to eating out to talking to sitting outside to spending time with the boys it was a pleasure to have so much time together. A wonderful snapshot of what the past couple of decades of marriage have been like. So thankful she said “I do” 21 years ago!

Presence:

The turkeys are certainly in the middle of mating season in Madison! We saw so many Toms strutting their stuff trying to find a date 😉. What was really wild was how close they let us get to them before they stepped off the trail for us to walk by. I’d never seen a turkey that close and it was awesome!!! Their faces and feathers shimmered in the sun while their bodies puffed up huge. Pretty amazing!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,768

Growth:

So many ideas, thoughts, and new concepts created and started over the past few days! My brain almost feels like muscles the day after a hard workout – sore but aching for more. In so many ways the mental workout of the past few days been phenomenal!

Appreciation:

It took me a bit to get comfortable being alone. It took me a bit to get comfortable being back home. Amazing how quickly the brain can adapt!

What’s been even better is finding the balance of the best of both places. The focus and creativity of being alone blended with the focused time with family without distractions. Making space and energy only gif what’s most important, and knowing family is most important. What an awesome balance it has been since I got home!

Presence:

Ninety minutes of sitting on the couch talking as a family without TV, phones, or distractions – how perfect! What a wonderful way to come back to reality after spending time away for a few days. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve been back home.

Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

Thanks!!!

Day 2,767

Growth:

The journey of a thousand steps truly begins with one. When I started working with my writing coach and editor on my first book I didn’t quite understand why they were so excited about all the blog posts I had written prior to working together. For me it is a daily habit of writing a little each day. They saw the bigger picture, I was writing something much bigger.

If I’ve written about 400 words per day on average I’ve written over one million words since I’ve started writing this blog! How did that happen??? One step at a time, consistently, over time.

Today it has finally sunk in for me, or at least has started to sink in. As a part of my next writing project I was reviewing my old blog posts and pulling a lesson or a conversation starter from each that I could share with others. After a few hours I was only about 60 days in… only 2,707 more posts to go! 😉

One step at a time, what a beautiful way to build.

Appreciation:

What a feeling to have accomplished almost all I set out to do over these past couple of days in relative isolation! There’s much more work to be done, but after tomorrow morning I will have wrapped up all I wanted and then some. Taking the time to pause and remember a lesson from my dad many years ago has really helped me stay focused.

The feeling of making progress and moving forward is awesome, the knowledge that I am furthering the legacy of several I love fills my heart with joy. Creating and living part of my purpose, what a gift and opportunity. I am so thankful for this time to pause life and create.

Presence:

One of the blog posts I stumbled upon was a moment of presence while wrapping up a camping trip with the boys. My buddy Steve paused us all for a moment as we were about to leave camp and said he wanted to share something with us. He went on to read the following quote. I remember the moment like it was yesterday and the quote has stuck with me ever since.

I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves. I had not lived there a week before my feet wore a path from my door to the pond-side; and though it is five or six years since I trod it, it is still quite distinct. It is true, I fear, that others may have fallen into it, and so helped to keep it open. The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels. How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now.

Thoreau, Walden

Thanks!!!

Day 2,766

Growth:

As I carve out ideas for my book I have come face to face with an old companion, self-doubt.  There’s that voice in the back of my head asking me the difficult questions…

“What do you actually know about any of what you’re writing about?”

“Who cares about your thoughts and ideas?”

“You know this won’t be successful, right?  Why bother trying?”

And so on.  

After getting a pretty solid outline put together I decided to take a little break and read.  The voice was getting a little too loud and I needed some distraction to lull him to sleep.  Imagine my surprise when I read the following from Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act:  A Way of Being.

“Interference may also come from the voices within.  The ones in the head that murmur you’re not talented enough, your idea isn’t good enough, art isn’t a worthwhile investment of your time, the result won’t be well-received, you’re a failure if the creation isn’t successful.  It’s helpful to turn those voices down so you can hear the chimes of the cosmic clock ring, reminding you it’s time.  Time for you to participate.”

Rick Rubin, The Creative Act: A Way of Being

Gotta love the way The Big Dude Upstairs puts the right answers all around us should we remember to look for them.

Appreciation:

After putting more thoughts to paper I saw the sunshine pouring into my skylight. I put on my hiking clothes and boots and took off for a walk in the woods. I’m very appreciative for my foresight to bring a raincoat as it started drizzling about fifteen minutes into my hike. As the rain slowly increased I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of having the trails all to myself.

The trails twisted and turned along the bluff, occasionally dipping a little into the valley. The views were spectacular and made all the more magical with the precipitation in the air. Nothing quite like a walk in the woods in the rain to bring about a blissful state of peace and calm.

Presence:

Late in the morning I took a break from writing to get my run in.  I’d made more progress than expected and knew I was in a good spot to pause and let everything I’d just created simmer a bit.  While running on the country road I went past a farm.  Just as I started to go past their fence a herd of cows bolted from their barn and ran along the fence to watch me.  As if that weren’t enough they proceeded to run (yes, they ran) along the fence to keep an eye on me.  It was awesome!  On the way back the same thing happened!  Talk about one of those crazy surreal moments, running with the cows atop a bluff over looking the Coulee Region.  What a perfect break!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,765

Wait a sec! Yesterday was Day 2,399, did you screw up on your math Kreiling? Yes, it was. When I started blogging on my 39th birthday I started with a different website <39yearsofthanksin365days.com> and then I started re-numbering when I started Thankful4Forty.com. Seeing as today was and easy number to math I figured this would be the perfect time to adjust to show exactly how many days of gratitude blogging I’ve been doing. I also had to adjust one additional day as I must’ve gotten off track at some point. So here we are, the 2,765 day of gratitude blogging – enjoy!

Growth:

This was not at all what I was expecting. I have been planing on taking a short writing and creation retreat for quite some time and today was finally the day. I’m sequestered in a small single room hermitage in the bluffs. The view behind my computer monitor is the woods and valley below. There is no one else here, I am completely alone. My cell coverage is almost non-existent (we’ll see when this blog actually posts). I am largely disconnected.

In my head I saw this as a time of creativity, an opportunity to put so many thoughts together and on paper. This was to be my moment to create in the quiet one can only find in solitude…

Instead I’m almost panicking, nervous, and have a little fear rising up in my gut. I am alone. There is no one else here, only me. I am quite fond of my alone time, but this is different. This time around it seems as if some of the monsters lurking under my bed are holding a convention on how they will start their siege in the next few minutes. There are no distractions available, no covers to hide under, I am exposed. I am very uncomfortably alone.

My heart is beating a bit heavily and I’m feeling almost jumpy. I know I’m safe from physical danger, I’m not worried in that way. That said, I’m so completely uncomfortable and nervous.

Why the discomfort?

I’m nervous about having to face myself, to face my feelings, to not have distractions to take me away from deeper thoughts. I’m scared that I won’t create anything worthwhile, that I will fail in my quest to really get the next book moving forward. I’m missing my family, my home, my normal. I just want to go back to “real life” when this was all a fantastic idea and dream rather than a reality.

What’s really interesting is that as I type this I’m already seeing I needed this experience more than I realized. I’ve found an edge in my life, the line between comfort and discomfort. The edge of the map beyond which growth lives. This edge is one I need to experience, to inspect, to experiment with, and to become comfortable with.

While I’m currently nervous and uncomfortable I’m also finding an inner light of excitement. I am about to experience something new. I am about to grow. I am going into the woods alone…

Appreciation:

Today I’m grateful for the giving of so many to others in a community. The Logan High School Convocation was an incredible reminder of the power of community and giving. There were well over 200 scholarships offered to more than 80 students in Dominic’s senior class. How awesome is that??? From organizations giving as a part of their mission to families giving in remembrance of loved ones who’ve passed on to people wanting to help others as they have been helped to helping to motivate others to a better future than the dreamt on their own – so many gifts given to so many students. What an inspiration and motivation!

Presence:

LOL – this entire experience so far has been a nonstop experience in presence! Gotta love how uncomfortable moments seem to touch our nerves a bit more sharply. They may be uncomfortable but there truly is a magic in these moments. Not to sound like a broken record but the there is a magic to be found past the edges of comfort.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,399

Growth:

Listen deliberately with an intent to learn. Pause to contemplate what was said. Carefully consider right responses and actions. No rush, take time to think, and then act.

Appreciation:

Family game night in the middle of a Saturday afternoon? Yes please! With our schedules all a little out of alignment a family lunch followed by a game of Catan was an excellent way to spend some time together.

Presence:

The laughs had with friends are where the heart becomes full.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,398

Growth:

It is easy to train by talking, it is more effective to train by asking questions and helping others work through their answers. So much of my life I’ve spent showing how I was right or how I was smart. As I stand back it is easier to see that the greatest impacts actually occurred when I helped others be right and smart. Easy to talk, more difficult to lead and teach through questions, but so much more productive. Talk less, questions more, listen more.

Appreciation:

Today I’m thankful for looking across the gap. Throughout much of the past week or two I’ve had opportunities to look across the gap that lies between who I am and who I am called to be. There is much space between the two edges, so much that I fear I won’t make it all the way across before I leave this life. That said, I’m oddly soothed by the gap and am more optimistic and hopeful thanks to the gap. I am seeing so much to improve and I am seeing ways to make small shifts in patterns and behaviors to get there. I see that the only thing getting in the way of closing the gap is myself, my fear of change, my unwillingness to change and sacrifice, my ego, and my own thick headedness. This is truly a wonderful thing to realize as I see that I have the ability to move myself in the right direction, it is not something I am powerless against and must succumb to. I must focus on what I can control and the gap is something I have the ability to have mastery of.

It could be demotivating if I choose to look at the gap the wrong way, it is so far to go, BUT if I choose to see it as something I have the ability to overcome it quickly shifts to a very positive and optimistic thing. Today I am thankful for looking across the gap. It reminds me that I have the power to choose to work on closing it, it is not something imposed upon me. It is one of the few things in life I actually have 100% control over.

Presence:

Today was my first time helping at a track meet. Becky and I helped in the pit for the long jump and I was tasked with jotting down the scores, watching for scratches, and adjusting the jump line to either the first or second board. While their was a wonderful simplicity to the task it was all very new to me and forced me to be hyper vigilant, especially during the jump. As the jumper would sprint towards the pit I had to watch where their foot was prior to launching themselves as far as they could. In that split second I had to determine if their foot crossed the line. Most of the time it was an easy call but there were also which were insanely close. There was no room for not paying attention, I had to stay perfectly focused on that goal… and it felt amazing in an oddly presence based way!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,397

Growth:

Fiction is an oddly useful tool for growth. As I continue reading The Wise Man’s Fear I’m picking up more and more pieces of philosophy that weave themselves into much of my recent thought processes. Listen more, talk less. Patience and stillness. The upsides and downsides of curiosity and passion. So many lessons to be learned through the vacuum of fiction!

Appreciation:

This empty space has been staring me down for several long minutes now. My brain has too many directions tonight – I believe that’s a good thing.

I’ve completed a project, had a handful of meaningful conversations, worked with my hands, run with Becky, had a great dinner with my sons, spent time in deep thought, taken in the power of nature, contemplated the impermanence of all things, wrapped up things before time away, have suffered a productive dose of anxiety over the next project, put new ideas together, saw growth through the review of notes from over six years ago, and now have forth time focused on gratitude.

What a beautifully full day it has been!

Presence:

Nothing quite like going to the dentist to slam me into the present! The sensations of metal tools scraping my teeth are quite unnatural but still focus me on the here and now. My hygienist is great and super gentle, yet the feeling in my mouth is so unlike anything I’m used to that I am immediately rooted in those moments – for better or worse!

Thanks!!!