Sometimes the best thing we can do is take a deep breath, admit we are exhausted, and go to bed early to recharge. That’s the name of the game for me this evening. My mind is now mush, I need to get rested back up to be sure to bring forth the energy I need for a ridiculously busy day tomorrow!
Appreciation:
Today I was reminded of all of the resources at my disposal at work to help develop solutions to difficult challenges. From past notes and experiences to online resources to professional cohorts to AI to books to other digital resources there were so many ways I was able to pull my thoughts together to create a unique solution to a unique opportunity. The ability to utilize so many resources helped to engineer a huge win, one likely not possible without all the help!
Presence:
Realizing my brain was overloaded with too many thoughts rumbling through my brain at once, I took a pause. I closed my laptop, sat down, set a timer for five minutes, closed my eyes, and did nothing but breathe. Within a few breaths my mind was calm and still.
At every moment we have the opportunity to choose presence, to bring our focus intentionally into the present.
When the opportunity to live into the values you know you should model for others presents itself be sure to jump right on it. This came up a couple of times, and each time I had to pause to make sure I was making the right call. Each actoin was a little uncomfortable for different reasons, but I was grateful for each.
I’m thinking there’s a little something to that… the more we know our values and purpose the more we can live into that person, the more comfortable we become with the discomfort as we know it is coming from the right place. How do I remind myself of this in the future so it becomes an immediate reaction rather than a delayed response?
Appreciation:
My evening spent snuggling with a dog, running the zoomies out of a dog, and then walking a dog. Outside of the dog time I’ve had time to relax, breathe, and take in some time to myself. Definitely missing Becky, but after the nonstop week that was last week the quiet respite feels exquisite. I’m currently listening to music and chilling out as I blog, recounting the day lazily, a long task list ready for tomorrow night, but an evening of calm tonight.
Presence:
Getting in a morning run while talking about life, nothing crazy, upcoming work, our next adventure… All while enjoying a perfectly cool fall weather day. The scent of autumn all around, even in the dark we can tell the leaves are starting to change. Spending some time together while the rest of the world sleeps before Becky heads out of town for a work trip. A wonderful start to the day!
Over the past 87 hours or so there are some interesting stats:
2,151 miles, 32 hours and 55 minutes of drive time across five states
Two ridiculous hikes encompassing over 10 miles and 5,097 feet of ascent
Two 14,000′ mountains summited (Mt Blue Sky and Mt Sherman) and one almost 14’er (Mt Spalding)
One snowstorm atop the summit
One shower, and it was in a laundromat in Leadville, CO
Amongst the things that I am unable to accurately count:
Many breathtaking views of aspen changing color in the mountains
Several animals including a moose, bighorn sheep, a couple mountain goats, marmots, and deer
So many laughs and stories shared with my brother
Countless new memories and jokes created with my brother
Incredibly grateful for the nonstop ridiculous long weekend road trip with my brother, one of our greatest bonding times yet, looking forward to the next!
Why make several decisions when you can make one or two that settle all the rest? Remember to pause, consider which decisions really need to be made and when, which one or two would make all the difference, and then let ‘er rip! Life is so much easier when there is clarity and there is usually an unfair leverage advantage to be gained somewhere. Choose that one!
Appreciation:
Life becomes more and more interesting when we live more intentionally, when we focus on living into what we really want. There were examples on both sides of this today – why it is helpful and how it can be harmful to not have that rudder. When I know what I want out of life it seems like life is a little more clear, it’s a little easier to see where to point the tip of the canoe. Everything seems to flow in the right direction, even getting hung up on the rocks ends up only adding a little extra adventure!
Today I’m grateful for my focus, the ongoing drive towards certain objectives. Some may be closer than others, but they are all slowly but surely getting closer.
Presence:
Running with Becky early this morning was particularly refreshing. The weather was nice, our conversation engaging, and it just felt good sharing time together while we ran. Nothing crazy or special, no super deep conversation or anything like that – just time together on the road, time together outdoors, time together being active, and time together free of interruption. A perfect start to the day!
Sometimes our ego gets in the way of asking for the help we need. Sometimes our ego gets in the way of having an uncomfortable or difficult conversation. Sometimes we are too nervous about hurting someone’s feelings and decide to avoid something tough. Sometimes we take too much on and find ourselves buried, but too afraid to figure out how to lighten the load.
We always want to help other people out. When someone is hurting we always want to find a way to help them. In the moments in which we’re able to help, able to be useful, we feel joy for being there for the person.
Why do we struggle when we are the ones who need help when we are so giving of help when others need it? We even know others will be filled with a sense of purpose, possibly joy, for the opportunity to help.
Does it make us selfish to hold onto our own hurt and not allow them to feel the joy of helping?
Today I was reminded to ask for help, to get others involved, to help others when they are struggling – even if it means pushing through an uncomfortable conversation. Regardless of whether we need help or are there and able to help – remember that we are together in this and no one makes it out alone. We are one.
Appreciation:
Planning a vacation can be frustrating, no question, especially when wrestling with small little airports in tiny towns. I experienced much of that this evening as Becky and I were just about done wrapping up the skeleton of one of our next adventures. That said, as soon as we got the logistical stuff largely out of the way it became a total rush!
The trip itself will be amazing, no question, but I’m also very grateful for all of the planning that goes into the trip in the first place. I’m not a fan of the details, but I am a huge fan of the anticipation of the adventure! We started really getting the details put together and were starting to see what we are going to do – we were able to start dreaming more clearly of the specifics we will be enjoying and that was pretty awesome.
My favorite part of the entire night was when Becky looked over at me with a wild smile full of awe and excitement and exclaimed, “so we’re doing it???” Her excitement was off the charts and somehow raised mine an entire new level!
Yes, logistics and can be a little rough, but the dreaming ahead for the adventure is priceless and well worth the price of admission, long before the trip even begins!
Presence:
Okay, you make a promise before you read this one. Whatever I write next you are NOT to share with my wife, Becky. She would definitely give me a hard time for this one. 😉
Sooo… let’s just say, hypothetically, that I got home from work first and was treated to nonstop snuggles from our dog, Leia, as soon as I walked in. If that were to happen I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed the quiet rubbing of her belly while she pants and smiles at me and puts her paws on my arm. If that happened I guess I might find some stillness and calm as I just sat there, snuggled, and pet her. I’d bet it would have been very relaxing, and likely would have been a wonderful way to transition from work to home for the day. Maybe even for ten minutes or so. Maybe. 😉
We all face things, we all have different challenges. What’s interesting is that so often I can see things more clearly in someone else, that third person perspective, that I can then reflect back upon myself to see challenges I may need to work through better.
Today what caught my attention were the labels we all put on ourselves. Sometimes they are created by others. Sometimes they are self diagnosed. Regardless of how they got into our brain they can quickly take hold and cause us to unnaturally live into them. If we have a label it becomes a part of who we are and we can change our behavior accordingly. They are quite dangerous and can lead to stunted growth, a lack of clarity, a lack of joy and fulfillment.
When I catch myself labeling myself I need to remember to only label the ACTION or THOUGHT itself, not me. It is in passing, it can be changed, it is not a fixed core of who I am. If I slip and use a label remember that it is not a label of me. Take it off like a jacket, I don’t need to wear it like a pair of handcuffs.
Appreciation:
Yoga, wonderful yoga… For reals, I could blog about yoga almost every single night. The impact it makes on my well being is so positive and much larger than the one hour practice.
This evening was the first night in about four weeks that I was in class and it felt spectacular! All the bending and twisting and holding and breathing and sweating was able to wash clean the slate of the day’s busyness, all that existed in my mind was the pose I was in, only the breath I was taking.
As I creep closer and closer to the big 5-0 I can’t help but feel so much younger than that number, so much calmer and less stressed than a 50yo should be, and I credit so much of that to our ongoing yoga practice. It calms the storm, and fortifies the soul.
Presence:
Okay, this is kind of similar to a few days ago, but for a completely different reason. Waking up in my own bed with the windows open and the outdoor temperature sitting at about 50 degrees… Amazing!!! Nothing like waking up in cool fresh air, the temp just cool enough that you can kick a bare leg out from the blankets, but likely not much more than that. The sensation of cool air going into the lungs with the first waking breath of the day. I love this weather!!!
On our hike this morning Becky and I were talking about the power of writing down dreams and goals. We both recognized multiple times in which we had written a dream down, let it slip from our conscious memory, and were then surprised when we happened back up on the list long after and realized we’d already knocked out some of the dreams we’d written and forgotten.
When our mind puts pen to paper there is a re-wiring of our brain, somewhere deep down we remember and unconsciously find a way to help to transmute the dream to reality.
Write my dreams down more often, it doesn’t cost anything, write them down and see what happens.
Appreciation:
Our priest dove deeply into the concept of forgiveness today and it was a clear and direct reminder of one of the biggest things I need to work on in myself. As he shared multiple stories and ideas I kept coming back to one specific phrase that will likely become a part of my 2027 Top 3 Lessons to Remember:
Choose love and forgiveness over fear and anger.
So easy to get angry and frustrated. So easy to have fear and close one’s mind.
Pause, breathe, and remember to love, remember to forgive. Our life is not fully our own, it is to be shared. Share it openly with others, remember to love ALL people, not just those I know, am related to, am friends with, care about, and agree with. Love all, we are all a part of one shared humanity. Love will conquer fear, forgiveness quenches anger.
Thank you Father Conrad for another moving sermon that will have a lasting positive impact on my life.
Presence:
After our morning hike I got into one of my music driven moods, my soul was craving a dose of something specific – The Rural Alberta Advantage, specifically their song Late September Snow. A song about transition, time slipping by without being noticed, the shocking realization that time has moved by as I was oblivious.
I know this change it brings a heavy heart, Breaks us all apart. So, I don’t know where the days they go, I’m always shocked by late September snow. I don’t know how the years erode.
Rural Alberta Advantage – Late September Snow
With so many changes in life this seems so appropriate. Turning fifty, becoming an empty nester, the sensation of turning a huge new chapter, they all have created a vortex of “Last Ofs” and “First Ofs,” the combination of which has my brain simultaneously crying in sadness and joy and grief and excitement and wonder. That combo has really helped me see the passing of time so clearly, almost a day by day ticking of the clock which wasn’t there several months ago.
As that song wrapped up I slid back to 3 Sisters, another of their songs focused on the impermanence of our lives, the way we grow so quickly in life, especially when compared to being viewed through the “Eyes of 3 Sisters” – three majestic and iconic peaks outside of Canmore, AB. To us our lives fly by at a breakneck pace, yet they are our entire existence. When viewed through the eyes of 3 Sisters we’re but a blink, a blip.
The music of The Rural Alberta Advantage, such a wonderful way to get my soul and brain rolling this morning after our hike!
This morning started off with an early-ish mornign walk. There was a transition into the Steppin’ Out in Pink breast cancer walk for a cure. From there we got home and immediately went out to go shopping. Got back, cleaned the floors, cooked our suppers for our upcoming trip up to Canada, made supper for tonight, and then got a little down time at the end before typing this blog.
It’s been a very busy day, but a very productive one. While there was a lot of adulting throughout it was nice to get almost everything done today so tomorrow can largely be a day of rest (I’m definitely counting a morning hike tomorrow as rest).
I feel good knowing that almost everything I wanted to get done has been done, but I’m also intrigued by how calming it was to get into the routine, getting the things done that need to be done. Yes, it was work, but it was oddly relaxing and very rewarding. Again, my mind can’t help but consider how important it is to choose the right mindset. When doing something routine or basic we can either be frustrated or bored OR we can find the ways to appreciate it, we can choose to find joy in the task, regardless of how basic it may be. Today I chose joy.
Appreciation:
Over seventeen years ago, Becky and I bought matching The North Face Angstrom 30L packs while we were shopping for Dominic’s first kindergarten backpack.
Mine is still kicking, but just barely. A couple of zippers are busted. The hip-belt straps are torn. The waterproofing material has peeled away. There are more and more rips and tears. The lowest parts of the back cushion are worn down like a pair of overused running shoes.
And yet, this pack is still a beast.
It can still easily carry 30 pounds of metal plates when I ruck, and it remains my most trusted non-sentient travel companion.
Over the past seventeen years, this pack has been with me through thick and thin across the globe. It has gone north to Alaska and Iceland. It has spent time in the mountains of northern Italy. It has made a few trips to Belize and traveled to other tropical places including Grand Cayman, Turks and Caicos, and Mexico.
It was my only full pack for Hawaii, with Becky kindly carrying a few overflow items in her checked bag. This little dude has also been with me every time I’ve crossed into the Southern Hemisphere, including Australia, New Zealand, and Patagonia.
It has been all over the continental United States and Canada too, spending time in well over half the states and across the southern Canadian provinces from Ontario west.
This bag has been with me through it all.
Getting to the point where it is almost time to retire this dude is definitely bittersweet. This pack has been by my side for so long that I guess you could technically say it has always had my back. 😉
Thinking about retiring it brought back a flood of memories from all those past adventures. What an awesome thing to discover: a memory container disguised as gear.
Cheers to you, Angstrom 30L. You have been a trusted companion and part of so many memories. While it is almost time to retire you from active duty, I am sure we will still have plenty of adventures together in your new role.
Thanks for accompanying me through so many trials of miles and so many miles of trials.
Presence:
This morning we went to the annual Steppin’ Out in Pink walk for a cure for breast cancer in La Crosse. Over four thousand people were in attendance supporting each other and especially the breast cancer survivors who were in attendance. Between seeing the overwhelming support, the photos and reminders of those who’ve passed, and the determination of those who’ve beaten the disease my heart was broken, strengthened, hurt, lifted, and about every emotion possible. We had hardly walked into the park when the “Survivors Parade” passed by, I had tears before we even gotten to the start of the event.
All throughout my thoughts went to so many I know who’ve been impacted by breast cancer, both directly and indirectly.
It is so easy to give the easy answer, the one that someone wants to hear. To say yes rather than no, to say the something that is so easy to express rather than that which puts a lump in our throat.
Life is so much better, more vivid, and more real when we face the difficult, when we share the tough news. It’s not comfortable, not by a long shot, but the difficult thing helps move things forward.
I was reminded today of the importance of sharing the difficult rather than glossing over it with the easy. We all grow when we face difficulty and hardship, that is where we are forged. We may not enjoy it in the moment, but those are the moments that really create us. Speaking truth, no matter how difficult, helps us all grow.
Appreciation:
What a perfect weather evening!!! We ate supper outside on the deck. We went for a walk. Now I’m blogging on the deck while enjoying the outdoor air, the smell of a neighbor’s fire wafting over, the sounds of crickets chirping and clicking. The sensation of a light breeze blowing across my face. Balancing the temperature with shorts and a sweatshirt, occasionally looking up to the stars.
Fresh air, the outdoors, this is my happy place! There may be sounds of traffic, people, an AC unit running, and a train in the distance, but it doesn’t matter, I am outdoors. So grateful for the space and time and weather to be able to sit out on my deck and relax as I type my blog. Once this is done my feet will go up and I’ll be lost in a book until I finally decide to crash and go to bed. What a way to wrap up the week!
Presence:
Not gonna lie, I had a moment while I was driving to work this morning. I played the song “The Nights” by Avicii and got a little choked up.
Thinking about the lyrics and their meaning.
Thinking about my sons and how this is our song.
Thinking about time with Dad.
Thinking of all the adventures my boys and I have gone on together.
One song, so many emotions tied back to it, all released in a torrent as the music played. A moment of sublime joy.
For several reasons over the past few months I’ve run into an interesting phenomena… I catch myself attempting to coach someone who is doing something I’ve attempted to do when I waas much younger. This includes personal stories with family as well as on the professional side of life. In each case I’m usually a thought or two deep when a feeling of deja vu hits. My brain pauses for a moment, and then I’m suddenly back in the past about to do the same thing I was about to coach the other person on. In many of the situations I catch myself about to give the same coaching I received.
What I’m grateful for in growth is two things. First, the understanding that we all go through so many of the same challenges, it makes it so much easier to understand and love each other as humans. Second, it reminds me to pause and ask for advice – especially now – and remember that others have been in similar spots and are likely able to pass on useful wisdom they learned through their own experience.
Remember to provide grace and coaching for those who are doing the same as you did at their age. Remember to listen for and heed the wisdom of those who’ve already done the same thing you are about to do.
Appreciation:
This evening we had one of our twice a week family FaceTime calls. Part of what has made the transition of Gavin heading off to Baltimore for school has been the ongoing contact that we still have.
Becky really blazed a great trail for all of us, to this day she still calls her parents every Sunday night like clockwork. Dominic attempted to one up her and from his freshman year got into the routine of FaceTiming us twice a week on Wednesday (now Thursday) and Sunday evenings. Gavin’s jumped right into the same practice since his first week of class.
What’s been bonus fun is that it is now all four of us hopping on together to shoot the bull and joke around for a while. Tonight we were on our call and I caught both of the boys in the same type of pose and couldn’t help but chuckle as I got a screenshot of them both with their hands behind their heads.
I definitely miss having them at home, being able to eat dinners together, and have family game nights whenever. That said, knowing that we still have a couple of nights each week in which we get to hang out as a family is a pretty sweet alternative, one I am very grateful for!
Screenshot
Presence:
Our morning run didn’t feel good, but it was outstanding! Between travel, the heat, prepping for the long hike from last weekend, and recovering from last weekend’s hike today was the first morning in about three weeks that I went our for a run. Crazy, it’s just kind of a core of who I am and what I do, but I just hadn’t done it for a while. Talk about discomfort – getting everything back up and moving was a little rough. My time was terrible. I made the mistake of getting new running shoes which I received the evening AFTER my previous run. My hips, which I’ve never paid any attention to, were feeling tight and stressed. Honestly, the run wasn’t good at all, kind of crappy actually… Which made it feel all the more amazing.
I’d forgotten how good a bad run can feel when viewed through the appropriate context. No one forced me to run. No one was making me go a certain distance (though Becky would have wondered if I was okay). It was 100% me pushing myself through something very uncomfortable simply because I could. And I did.
By the end I wasn’t feeling the discomfort, frustration, heavy breathing, disappointment, or anything like that. I was feeling joy. I pushed through the discomfort and got my ass in gear. And that felt great!
