Thankful for Saying the Difficult, Blogging on the Deck, & The Nights by Avicii

Day 4,002

Growth:

It is so easy to give the easy answer, the one that someone wants to hear. To say yes rather than no, to say the something that is so easy to express rather than that which puts a lump in our throat.

Life is so much better, more vivid, and more real when we face the difficult, when we share the tough news. It’s not comfortable, not by a long shot, but the difficult thing helps move things forward.

I was reminded today of the importance of sharing the difficult rather than glossing over it with the easy. We all grow when we face difficulty and hardship, that is where we are forged. We may not enjoy it in the moment, but those are the moments that really create us. Speaking truth, no matter how difficult, helps us all grow.

Appreciation:

What a perfect weather evening!!! We ate supper outside on the deck. We went for a walk. Now I’m blogging on the deck while enjoying the outdoor air, the smell of a neighbor’s fire wafting over, the sounds of crickets chirping and clicking. The sensation of a light breeze blowing across my face. Balancing the temperature with shorts and a sweatshirt, occasionally looking up to the stars.

Fresh air, the outdoors, this is my happy place! There may be sounds of traffic, people, an AC unit running, and a train in the distance, but it doesn’t matter, I am outdoors. So grateful for the space and time and weather to be able to sit out on my deck and relax as I type my blog. Once this is done my feet will go up and I’ll be lost in a book until I finally decide to crash and go to bed. What a way to wrap up the week!

Presence:

Not gonna lie, I had a moment while I was driving to work this morning. I played the song “The Nights” by Avicii and got a little choked up.

Thinking about the lyrics and their meaning.

Thinking about my sons and how this is our song.

Thinking about time with Dad.

Thinking of all the adventures my boys and I have gone on together.

One song, so many emotions tied back to it, all released in a torrent as the music played. A moment of sublime joy.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Shared Wisdom, Family FaceTime, & Getting My Ass in Gear

Day 4,001

Growth:

For several reasons over the past few months I’ve run into an interesting phenomena… I catch myself attempting to coach someone who is doing something I’ve attempted to do when I waas much younger. This includes personal stories with family as well as on the professional side of life. In each case I’m usually a thought or two deep when a feeling of deja vu hits. My brain pauses for a moment, and then I’m suddenly back in the past about to do the same thing I was about to coach the other person on. In many of the situations I catch myself about to give the same coaching I received.

What I’m grateful for in growth is two things. First, the understanding that we all go through so many of the same challenges, it makes it so much easier to understand and love each other as humans. Second, it reminds me to pause and ask for advice – especially now – and remember that others have been in similar spots and are likely able to pass on useful wisdom they learned through their own experience.

Remember to provide grace and coaching for those who are doing the same as you did at their age. Remember to listen for and heed the wisdom of those who’ve already done the same thing you are about to do.

Appreciation:

This evening we had one of our twice a week family FaceTime calls. Part of what has made the transition of Gavin heading off to Baltimore for school has been the ongoing contact that we still have.

Becky really blazed a great trail for all of us, to this day she still calls her parents every Sunday night like clockwork. Dominic attempted to one up her and from his freshman year got into the routine of FaceTiming us twice a week on Wednesday (now Thursday) and Sunday evenings. Gavin’s jumped right into the same practice since his first week of class.

What’s been bonus fun is that it is now all four of us hopping on together to shoot the bull and joke around for a while. Tonight we were on our call and I caught both of the boys in the same type of pose and couldn’t help but chuckle as I got a screenshot of them both with their hands behind their heads.

I definitely miss having them at home, being able to eat dinners together, and have family game nights whenever. That said, knowing that we still have a couple of nights each week in which we get to hang out as a family is a pretty sweet alternative, one I am very grateful for!

Screenshot

Presence:

Our morning run didn’t feel good, but it was outstanding! Between travel, the heat, prepping for the long hike from last weekend, and recovering from last weekend’s hike today was the first morning in about three weeks that I went our for a run. Crazy, it’s just kind of a core of who I am and what I do, but I just hadn’t done it for a while. Talk about discomfort – getting everything back up and moving was a little rough. My time was terrible. I made the mistake of getting new running shoes which I received the evening AFTER my previous run. My hips, which I’ve never paid any attention to, were feeling tight and stressed. Honestly, the run wasn’t good at all, kind of crappy actually… Which made it feel all the more amazing.

I’d forgotten how good a bad run can feel when viewed through the appropriate context. No one forced me to run. No one was making me go a certain distance (though Becky would have wondered if I was okay). It was 100% me pushing myself through something very uncomfortable simply because I could. And I did.

By the end I wasn’t feeling the discomfort, frustration, heavy breathing, disappointment, or anything like that. I was feeling joy. I pushed through the discomfort and got my ass in gear. And that felt great!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for 4,000 Days of Gratitude

Day 4,000

Growth:

Quick spoiler alert, it is only fitting to share that I often don’t write these sections in order. I often have one or two categories that come flying off my fingertips while one sometimes gets caught in the weeds a bit. Tonight is one of those nights, and part of this section is a direct result of the Appreciation section below.

As I pause and consider all that has happened and all that I’ve learned over the past four thousand days of blogging my mind bends as the sheer volume of what I’ve written in those past four thousand blog posts starts to sink in.

There are a couple of large themes and lessons that have continued to grow and expose themselves over this expanse of time.

  • Pause first, then choose. The simple act of pausing to think has come through over and over in these 4,000 posts. It’s often as clear as being grateful for pausing, other times it is almost hidden in the landscape as it is the pausing to write this blog that created the space for my thoughts to form before I took action and started writing.
  • Discomfort is the address of growth, and the boundary keeps moving. In reviewing the past posts I’m intrigued by how often they involve the way discomfort leads to growth. As the blogs keep going it seems that I’m more and more actively pushing myself into more and more intense discomfort specifically to grow.
  • Trials of miles, and miles of trials. The act of doing the exact same thing day after day after day can either be drudgery or bliss – how do I choose to see the discomfort? Novelty is fun and easy, the trials of miles, of putting in the reps is difficult, but so rewarding!
  • My attention has a location, and it is outdoors. I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors, but somehow this blog seems to have helped me see just how much of a core part of me it is, and it has helped me re-focus my life in a way that I’m able to enjoy it more often and share it more with those I love.
  • This practice has not created more time or life, but it has helped me get so much more out of the time and life I have had. There is no way to get more time than we are each allotted, but we can certainly control how much we actually live the time we have. By pausing to write I’ve been able to see and enjoy so much more of my life, to help me live more intentionally into the life I want to live.

These lessons and so many more… the past 4,000 days have taught me so much about life, I’m grateful for each of those lessons!

Appreciation:

Today I pass an interesting trail marker. This is the 4,000th time I’ve blogged in the past 4,000 days. Almost once per day with the exception of one around the 2,750 mark that I immediately wrote the next morning to get myself back on track.

This daily practice has cost me virtually nothing but about 15-45 minutes per day. The return on the investment has been priceless. In no other practice have I learned so much about myself. The simple act of pausing to breathe and think has helped me coordinate the dreams of who I want to be with the actions leading to that person – even though they are seemingly impossible to completely live into and I’ve yet to have a single day in which I’ve lived the entire day in the way I would like to live it. In taking this time to pause I’ve been able to help close the gap just a bit, significantly more than I ever had in that period of time in my life before.

My heart is full of so much love and gratitude for so many in my life, it’s a reminder to appreciate those around me, those who impact me. It reminds me that none of us make it through life alone, that life is so much better when shared.

This practice throughout the past 4,000 days has brought so much joy to my heart, not necessarily creating it on its own, rather helping me see all the joy provided by life that I so easily could have looked right past had I not paused. That might be one of the things that has surprised me about this practice – it hasn’t given me more time or life, but it’s helped me more completely enjoy and appreciate the time and life I have.

To 4,000 days – a true trial of miles and miles of trials!

Presence:

The moments in which I gently press the pause button on the rest of the world to dive inward and reflect upon the day is amongst my favorite moments of the day. It is my moment to breathe, to think, to be honest with myself and my situation.

The thinking about gratitudes from the day usually brings a smile to my face, sometimes a frown, and sometimes a blank stare… but each brings me joy.

It is that moment on a great day when I have the opportunity to bask in its successes. It is that moment on a trying day in which I realize I need to shift my mindset and find the positive spin while embracing the suck. It is the moment on a nonstop day full of action in which I pause to re-focus and get my mind straight.

Each moment when I am done and press the Publish button I am smiling – for the events of the day, for what I have learned, what I have worked through, for the moment of calm, for the reminder of gratitude creating joy (remembering that comfort and joy can be two wildly different things).

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Re-Framing the Real Challenge, Planning Ahead, & Waking Up in My Own Bed

Day 3,999

Growth:

Recently I came across a quote that was attributed to Einstein, but is likely one of those old internet trope memes that is probably really from someone else… “Give me an hour to solve a problem, and I’ll spend the first 55 minutes clarifying the problem.” (or something like that).

Regardless of the true origin of that concept, there really is some gold there. Remembering to take time to really discover the deeper issue, the core challenge, is a step that is easy to skip and can cause a huge delay, waste of time, and completely incorrect answer.

Today I had the opportunity to listen and think while some teammates worked through a few different challenges and it allowed me space to pause, listen, and really consider what was happening to cause the entire situation. That space allowed me to change the conversation to work on the core issue and we were soon more quickly on track. Very interesting to see how that re-framing could have such a big impact!

Appreciation:

Getting back into the swing of things immediately following a long weekend can be a little rough, but it’s always nice when you start the day with a solid plan. Today I was especially grateful for taking the time to nail down my plan for today last week before I took off. That allowed me to breathe calmly when I started the day, sleep well last night knowing I had it all set, and kept me on track when my energy started to wane in the afternoon. Very simple to remember, not rocket science, but it was a wonderful success today!

Presence:

This one has been used before, but I can’t help it, the moment of presence this morning was fantastic! Waking up this morning in my own bed, fully refreshed after a very peaceful night of sleep was exactly what I needed today! I love the campervan, camping, traveling, and all that, but there will always be something calming about starting the day off by waking up in my own bed.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Living Intentionally, the Unexpected Upside of a Goal, & a Soul at Peace

Day 3,995

Growth:

Time to start winding down for the night, big day of adventure and challenge ahead tomorrow.  What’s funny is that the goal tomorrow isn’t technically on my dream list, but the concept of it is very much in line with the type of person who would live my dream list.  

This is a well timed reminder for me that while the dream list itself is in many ways the gateway to living more intentionally, living the life it is meant to lead toward is so much more important than living the specific dream itself.  In many ways I’m reminded of the metaphor used by de Mello of the vehicle that takes you to the house is needed, but you don’t use it to enter the house itself. 

In which other times have I focused too tightly on the specific dream rather than the life the dream was meant to support?  How can I keep that dichotomy of needing a clear dream to use to get me moving, yet keeping the flexibility and awareness to shift as needed?

As I prepare to start working on my 2027 revision of my dream list this reminder couldn’t have been more well timed!

Appreciation:

In a similar vein to the section above, I’m grateful for the goal which led me to today’s day with Dominic.  With a goal of being fully present with Gavin during his last year at home I was reminded of both the importance of presence and the impermanence of all stages of life.  The time we have with loved ones is so limited and can slip by so quickly, I must remember to be intentional with my moments.

As a result of that lesson I remembered to be very intentional and parlayed that into an adventure to Canada with Dominic for a ridiculous hiking adventure.  There’s maybe a 50% chance of success in our goal for tomorrow (the 20+ mile, 4,500+’ hike of Sleeping Giant in Ontario in one go), but there’s a 100% chance of creating memories.  We’ve already had so much fun on the drive up, almost no screen time for either of us on the entire drive except for confirmation of hiking details.

The goal was presence with Gavin, but there’s true intent was to be intentionally present and to create more moments with loved ones.  Today that had nothing to do with Gavin and had everything to do with Dominic.  Again, I’m grateful for not focusing on checking a box, rather, living the life the box was meant to support.

Presence:

I absolutely LOVE the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and the North Shore of Wisconsin and Minnesota.  The entire US shore of Lake Superior is spectacular.  That said, I was in for quite the shock this evening as we drove across the border into Canada.  Literally only miles before the border the entire topography somehow shifted into an even more majestic topography.  This entire area with its severe cliffs, verdant forests, lowland swamps and lakes, and continually undulating landscape are beyond anything I could have imagined around Lake Superior.  Dominic and I spent the last two hours of our drive in awe as we soaked up all the sights.

There is something about this area that feels so right, so much like home, like a bit of my soul has always been here, like it is returning to the place of its birth.  I know no other way to put it, my core of me is more in tune here, more grounded, than virtually anywhere else. 

For clarity, it’s not a desire to live here (visiting is definitely the right way for me), not a place I need to come to all the time (but I’ll likely be here a little more often), but something similar to and yet more intense than what I’ve always felt up in the UP.  A peace, a calm, at a visceral level.  A feeling of home, of rightness, like I’ve crossed a boundary into something that exists just outside of the plane of life.  Not the sense of awe and wonder of travel to places like Sequoia NP or Patagonia or Iceland, there is awe for sure, but more feeling like a deep exhale when walking into my home after being away for two weeks.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Planning Ahead, a Top Ten Hike, and Shared Adventures

Day 3,996

Growth: 

I can’t express enough how grateful I am for remembering that the point is not to check a box, that the point is to live the life the box was meant to check.  I’ve had the opportunity to create a core memory with Dominic, one we’ll hold forever.  While it wasn’t specifically a goal this year it is directly as a result of a lesson I wanted to remember in 2026, a different goal I set in 2026, and a supporting goal I set for myself in 2026.  It is also in part thanks to honoring the season of life I am in, of living intentionally, and also thanks to remembering that living into our purpose creates so many opportunities for joy in our lives.

Thank you to the Mike of the end of 2025 for taking the time to pause, create a plan based on how I wanted to live my 2026, and putting all of the work into action for this all to have come together!

Appreciation:

Today was easily one of the top ten day hikes I’ve ever done in my life.  The scenery was spectacular and stunning to say the least, ever changing and full of wonderful surprises if I want to go deeper.  

Honestly, while all of that blew my mind, what I am most thankful for today was not the hike, the park, the views, the accomplishment or anything else.  I’m most grateful for a day share completely with Dominic, one we will both remember for the rest of our lives.

We will forever remember the sights we saw together.  The ridiculous hike we accomplished together.  The conversations and the jokes we shared together.  The memories we shared while having walking tacos for supper and a couple of cold beers after.  We will remember the laughs, the talks, the experiences, the dreams, and the stories.  We will remember the time together – I’m beyond grateful for creating this opportunity for us to share this day together!

Presence:

I can’t even…. Every peak was a practice in presence.  Each overlook was a practice in presence.  Each lake and beaver dam and boulder field was a practice in presence.  Most importantly, the conversations with Dominic throughout and after were practices in presence.  The total amount of intentional presence was through the roof!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Unplanned Time, Shifting Perspectives of Being a Dad, an Unplanned Trip to the Amethyst Mine

Day 3,997

Growth:

Just because we have time doesn’t mean it has to be packed with activity.  Just because there are trails everywhere around us doesn’t mean we have to be hiking.  Just because there are lakes all over doesn’t mean we have to be paddling.  When you get tired, relax.  When you’re worn down, rest.  No need for constant activity just because the activity is there to be done.

How many times has Becky helped to teach me this?  Today Dominic was the one reminding me it was okay to chill – and reminded me of the epic hike we did yesterday. 

Slow down, enjoy the ride!

Appreciation:

I had an absolutely grand day with Dominic, from start to finish we had a blast shooting the bull and enjoying each other’s company.

Quite often my thoughts went to Dad and the time he and I had together.  I wish there would have been more of it, and I wish it would have been doing more things like this.  I love Dad, but I feel we could have had so many memories like this of time spent together, but that was not the case.

While so much of who I am came from Dad, I’m grateful for times like this when I’ve created my own path as a father to do more of what I feel a dad should be.  What’s interesting is that I know Dad would not only understand, but would hold me to that type of standard.  All we want as sons are two things – to have an awesome dad and to be a better dad than ours was.

Today I felt like I lived into both and was hopefully the first half for Dominic.

Presence:

Such a great day with Dominic again today!  We knocked out a 7.5 mile hike in the morning to get our legs stretched out and warmed up, and then we opted for one of the most random vacation side quests ever…. We went mining for amethyst!  Yup, we went to an active amethyst mine, dug through piles of dirt, rock, and mud, and walked away with about five gallons of amethyst covered rocks!

Such a unique activity, such a blast!  We were joking and talking as we learned the ins and outs of the basics of amethyst mining, delighted by so many wonderful finds AND the times we thought we’d found something big, only for it to be nothing.

Throughout it was one of the best investments of a couple of hours ever, we had a blast together and enjoyed our shared passion for rock collecting!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Grasping the Moment, Moments of Calm with Becky, & More Outdoors Moments with Dominic

Day 3,998

Growth:

Life changes, it always has and always will. Regardless of how we try the hands of time continue to spin, and in a cosmic joke they seem to increase in velocity each time the calendar cycles through. Just as I try to hold onto a moment I’ve already lost it as it slips through my grasp. The more I attempt to cling the more ethereal it becomes.

When I allow the moment to happen, let it unfold and be there in it, focused right there at that moment on only that moment, the moment seems to expand and grow. After it has gone and my mind reaches back for it the moment seems to contract again to a flash – the same moment which lasted for so much longer as it happened.

How do I stay more focused on each moment as it happens? Why do I let my presence wander to the past so freely and run for the future with such reckless abandon? The more I stay here, right here, in this moment right now, the longer it feels, the more I get to enjoy and savor it. Slow down, be here.

Appreciation:

The whirlwind of the past few weeks continues, the reminders of appreciation for moments of simple joy like eating at home with Becky come through loud and clear. Quickly unpacking and eating supper with Becky on our deck was exactly what I needed. Pausing all of the crazy and nonstop motion to take a deep breath and relax and spend time together was fantastic.

I love vacations, travel, and adventures – no question… but my favorite times are the moments spent with Becky as we relax and enjoy moments of calm. This transition to empty nest life and turning fifty will be interesting, but knowing it will be shared with Becky reminds me to look forward to more time together for the two of us.

Presence:

Spending the night talking with Dominic while having a beer (or two) around the campfire. Totally relaxed, still respecting the father and son relationship while also very much honoring the awesomely deep friendship, a great night for so many reasons.

This morning we both got up early (4:45am CST) to give seeing an early morning moose one more shot. There was no one else stirring in the campground, no one else on the trail head, not even a moose on the trail! Getting that early morning walk in together using our headlamps to guide the way was a wonderful way to get the day moving.

Spending time on a beach outside of Grand Portage looking for agates in Lake Superior was another opportunity to spend time together enjoying the outdoors, doing something we both enjoy while having a combo of time talking and joking while also being lost in our own thougths.

These moments were all concentrated in the present moment, creating memories for a future me to enjoy!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Remembering to Sleep

Day 3,994

Today has been a great day in so many ways. Way more positive professional growth and success than expected throughout the day. Lots accomplished, progress on several projects, and living into the goals I’ve been setting for myself. I’ve been present in my conversations, been attuned to where I should be, and in some ways ahead of where I expected to be at this point in the week.

That said, I’m feeling worn down, exhausted, and kind of beaten up. This is exactly the opposite of how I should be feeling. Everything took a little extra work, more effort than expected. My motivation keeps waning, I’m struggling to stay positive. Again, so bizarre because for all intents and purposes it has been a great day!

What’s the issue? Why the dissonance between how I should feel and how I actually feel? I’m exhausted. I packed in too much. I haven’t slept enough. A little under 6 hours of sleep in average over the past to nights. I feel gross, lazy, like my brain is foggy. Very meh. The only reason is specifically because of a lack of sleep.

Way back in the day I thought I could accomplish more by skipping hours of sleep, staying awake for all but four hours to give myself bonus hours of awake time. Now I realize how foolish that really was. To go from averaging well over eight hours per night over the past week and a half to a sudden drop to a little under six has blown my mind with the impact.

This evening I’ll be sleeping much longer, making sure I get the eight plus I need to feel human, and then will do my best to do that again tomorrow night.

While this sensation of being exhausted sucks, it is a very clear reminder to me of how important it is to get enough sleep. The positive impact of sleep is much more intense than I’d remembered!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Moment of Awareness, Our Shared Humanity, & Maximizing Family Time

Day 3,993

Growth:

Why do I attempt to fit in too many things at once over and over again? I know better, I’ve been there done that before. Yet I still seem to struggle to keep the buffers needed for optimal performance.

Today the universe threw me a lifeline and shifted part of my schedule for me, creating the space I needed, the space I should have created for myself in the first place. Why did I need that intercession rather than realizing it on my own?

So easy to take on extra, to overcommit. Today this issue was made so much more clear to me, how do I leverage this moment of awareness into an ongoing change?

Appreciation:

This may be short and simple, but I’m glad we don’t get through any of this alone. There are always others out there willing to help us, to support us. There are always others facing similar challenges, issues, changes, situations. There are certain changes in life we all encounter should we live long enough. We are each unique, but we are also all so similar. No one comes into life alone, no one lives their life truly alone.

I’m very grateful for those moments that remind us of our common humanity, of our shared struggles, of the importance of loving and supporting each other, of our universal connection. In these moments it is so much easier to love all people intensely.

Presence:

So much bonus time with family in my limited outside of work hours today! Joking with Becky before she headed out of town for work. A family FaceTime with all four of us (& some Caitlyn too!). A conversation with my brother that left me laughing, Shopping with Dominic and Caitlyn and then spending time with them shooting the bull while snuggling with Leia.

There weren’t many hours outside of work today, but almost all were shared with family and I was there for each moment.

Thanks!!!