Thankful for Choice, Dream List Surprises, & Missing My Pup

Day 4,034

Growth:

Reading Man’s Search for Meaning will be an annual read for me for as long as I am alive. The story and wisdom remains the same, the reader and their experiences are always new. I cannot imagine a time in which this book will not hold meaningful thoughts to consider. Throughout is a reminder of the importance of surrender, love, compassion, acceptance, grit, and stoicism.

The passage that hit home today was:


And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical inmate.

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

In every situation we have a choice to make, how we respond to the situations that life and the world throw at us. Sometimes we can choose what happens, but often not. We always can choose how we respond.

Appreciation:

This morning a thought struck me. One of the more interesting thoughts rolling through my head in the past month finally caught in the right place and flipped a switch. I dug into my dream list today and found that this crazy idea had already snuck into my list of 100+ dreams to accomplish as I was planning for 2025, and AGAIN when I re-built the list for planning for 2026!

How wild that somewhere this little seed was planted, lay dormant in the soil, growing little roots I never saw, only to bust out of the ground and blossom when I least expected it? Not only that, but it was actually the comment of someone asking if I’d ever considered this before as it would seem to be very much in my wheelhouse???

As I reviewed my most recent dream list after that realization I continued to be shocked. I’ve either made progress towards or actually already completed some of the dreams I didn’t even consciously work on! By just taking the time to put them on paper I must’ve given them just enough soil to grow while I kept living life and stayed focused in other directions.

Over and over again I am reminded of how grateful I am for having learned to create a dream list AND for learning to re-create it on an annual basis. Such a wonderful gift to give to my future self while feeding the soul of the present me.

Presence:

Fourteen years ago today we added a family member, Lulu, our pitbull mix rescue pup. She’s been gone for over three years now, but I am still very appreciative for the years we were blessed to have her.

As I came across the memory of adopting her today I had to pause and dry up my eyes a bit. Sometimes the best moments of presence come when we are able to pause and focus on the feelings brought on by past memories. The memory is past, the emotion is now. Missing my pup, grateful for all the memories made with her. Joy and sadness, all at once.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Goals Worth Sharing

Day 4,033

When I re-read this line in Meditations this morning I could only smile and I read it again.

“If you don’t have a consistent goal in life, you can’t live it in a consistent way.” Unhelpful, unless you specify a goal.

There is no common benchmark for all the things that people think are good—except for a few, the ones that affect us all. So the goal should be a common one—a civic one. If you direct all your energies toward that, your actions will be consistent. And so will you.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

This year I had three big goals for myself to work towards. All three involved other people, and all three are done!

The first was to be fully present with Gavin during his last year at home. I wanted to be there for all the moments that mattered, and to help some of the minor moments matter too. We made so many excellent memories together before he left for college in late August.

The second was to build my body back into something ready for adventure. In September, Dominic and I went up to Sleeping Giant and knocked out almost 21 miles of hiking with 4,400 feet of elevation gain. My legs felt every foot of it. I would do it again tomorrow!

The third was to start sharing the annual planning process I have been building for close to twenty years. It began with a dream list I wrote alone on the shore of Lake Superior in 2007. It has a name now, Life Topography, and there is some very exciting news coming on that front in the next month or so! If you would like to be one of the first to hear the details, send me a note and I will make sure you get them.

Having three clear goals made so many decisions easier this year. It also made the hard ones harder to dodge. There are so many more “no’s” now, and they have become so much easier to say. This year I said no to a handful of distractions and events which would have taken precious time needed for my goals. A few years ago I would have said yes without a second thought.

There are also new adventures I never thought I would seriously consider. I am not ready to write about all of them yet, so for now I am writing down that they are there.

The best way I can describe all of this is a mountain range. I know the general direction I am heading. I can feel the pull of it. But the specific summit has become less and less important. Some days I have no idea which trail to take. I have a compass and a map for when I drift, and I will drift.

Wow, that sounds super cheesy, but I really don’t know how else to describe it.

I will lose gear along the way. Shoes will break. Some of that will hurt, and I do not want to pretend otherwise. What I have learned is that I am not hiking alone. The people I know and love will show up when I need them, just as I would set my pack down for them. The world is so full of big hearted strangers who might join for a stretch of the trail.

Marcus wrote that the goal worth having is a common one, one that affects us all. The longer I walk, the more I think he was right. The summit matters so much less than being present on the trail and loving our neighbors along the way.

Present on the trail. Loving our neighbors. Each step a moment to live.

Thanks!!!

The Sleeping Giant from the shore, September 2026

Thankful for My Nephews’ Eagle Court of Honor

Day 4,032

Earlier today two of my nephews received the highest honor in Scouting, they earned their Eagle Scout rank. So impressed with their hard work, diligence, and leadership they displayed over the course of several years to attain this award. They each have put in so much time and energy into helping others, helping their community through their Eagle projects, and learning so many life skills.

In addition to celebrating their achievement I was also able to celebrate someone who has given so much to so many Scouts for generations. Peggy Straight, Safety Mom, was a Scout leader when I was working on my own Eagle and had a profound positive impact on my scouting career. She taught me so much about wilderness safety, she modeled the Scout values, and taught so many of us how to be a great human by her actions. A generation later and her impact is still being felt very deeply, each of the Eagle Scouts honored her with their “Mentor Pin” as a token of appreciation for all she has done for them in their scouting career. As each of the boys presented her with their pin, my eyes welled with tears and my heart was full of joy for her.

Having the opportunity to take in that event, to be there to celebrate my nephews, and to see the long term positive impact that one life can make was truly a special time.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Gratitudes, Keeping Kindnesses Alive, & a Quick Connection of Kindred Spirits

Day 4,031

Growth:

In Meditations by Marcus Aurelius the entire first chapter is spent thanking the people who made the greatest impact in his life. Throughout the last week there have been several times in which I’ve found myself pausing to thank those who’ve done exactly that for me.

So easy to quickly appreciate an act of kindness once in the moment, how can I work at remembering those kindnesses more often? How much richer would my life be if I kept them in front of me with regularity?

Appreciation:

So many have done so much to help me live into the life I’ve lived. Having the opportunity to repay their kindness by sharing the same with others feels deeply rewarding. By taking the action set by their example keeps them and their memory alive. They live in the acts of kindness shared through one person to help another, hopefully the cycle continues to repeat.

Much of today was spent in service to others, as others have helped me in the past. To be able to do so and keep their memories and kindnesses alive was deeply rewarding today.

Funny how some of our most positive moments are those spent in service of others.

Presence:

An after yoga conversation connecting with a kindred soul. Shared mutual respect for the ways in which each other help towards the similar purpose. Short conversation, high presence moment, great connection and energy.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Reminders of Leaving Home

Thankful for Reminders of Leaving Home

Day 4,030

This quote brought back one of my favorite and most treasured memories from our travels. As my friends waited at the gate for our flight leaving the Hilo, HI airport I sat upstairs, outside under the open sky gulping down breaths of the tantalizingly fresh air. I sat quietly, taking it all in, listening to in the moment, savoring each glorious moment of paradise. I was moved to tears due the feelings of grief as I knew I was leaving a place which had so quickly and deeply touched my soul. Ever since stepping foot on the island, taking an early morning swim in the champagne ponds behind our rental home, walking on the blackened lava fields, enjoying the mountains top, savoring the vegetation, swimming at the beach, watching the rainbows, eating the fresh food, and spending so many moments lost in a continuous state of awe, the Big Island of Hawaii felt like home.

To read another person share similar thoughts soothed me so much today, while simultaneously opening my soul to that feeling again.

It reminded me of leaving Iceland. Of leaving New Zealand. Of leaving Patagonia. Of leaving the Canadian Rockies. Of all the places which somehow become so embedded in my soul, the places I long to travel back to over and over again.

The twist is that it is similar to grief – the more we love it, the more profound the feeling of loss when it is gone. A more enlightened part of me understands that the appreciation for the moments spent there are more than one should ask for, yet the most human part of me just pleads for more.

This quote brought back so many of those emotions, the tension between appreciation and desire, and so many memories of places in which I savored each moment so much I couldn’t help but want a little more.

I wouldn’t trade any of those experiences for anything, the desire to return is such a cheap price to pay.


Having got here at last, I do not wish to leave the Crystal Mountain. I am in pain about it, truly, so much so that I have to smile, or I might weep. I think of D and how she would smile, too. In another life – be this isn’t what I know, but how I feel – these mountains were my home; there is a rising of forgotten knowledge, like a spring from hidden aquifers under the earth. To glimpse one’s own true nature is a kind of homegoing, to a place East of the Sun, West of the Moon—the homegoing that needs no home, like that waterfall on the upper Suli Gad that turns to mist before touching the earth and rises once again into the sky.

Peter Matthiessen, The Snow Leopard

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Learning, Trails, & Music Creating Depth

Day 4,029

Growth:

Very relevant today for several reasons.

We go to school not to prove what we know, we go to learn.

Life is to be lived the right way. Always learning, always growing. Learning from failures, learning from successes.

Never allowing fear of failure to get the better of us.

Pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and grow from the experience.

Appreciation:

There is a clarity that seems to come with experience. Certain choices and actions become so much easier to see. The roads well worn with travel through the years start to show divergent game trails, the experiences we lead us to quicker paths to better waypoints. It almost seems as if we have to really wear down the trail in order to see the side trails that have always existed but were never seen.

Today I am both grateful for the trails well worn as they help us find our way as well as the side trails which slowly lead us to better destinations.

Presence:

The lyrics of Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron really got my mind rolling this morning! One line particular got stuck in brain and kept rolling through my thoughts:


“What good is living a life you’ve been given, if all you do is stand in one place?”

Lord Huron, Ends of the Earth

Initially my mind went to hiking, to traveling, to exploring. Then it drifted into the philosophical – don’t stand still in who you are, challenge assumptions, get uncomfortable, learn and grow.

Somehow it kept twisting and I could see the picture in my mind:

A quietly shifting stream slowly shifts across the plains, a steadily flowing river carved rock into canyons.

Mike Kreiling

My mind saw the vision of continuing to move, intentionally moving, persistently moving, choosing to create the terrain we want our lives to be.

All those moments of quiet contemplative thought from one line from a song.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Remembering to Choose a Beginner’s Mindset

Day 4,028

So much to be learned in a beta test! What’s interesting is that I went into a full blown beta on one of the two projects I’ve been creating I knew that it wasn’t going to be perfect, I knew there was going to be a lot to learn. While the results were significantly better than expected on the first run the reality test showed many faults to work through… but they also shed a light on some incredible opportunities that I had totally underestimated or had completely missed! It was wild seeing how much more room for future growth there is while also seeing there is a much higher ceiling than expected as well.

My biggest realization after taking time to think on it today was this…

I created a product that I knew would not be anything close to perfect or to the finished project and I had zero fear of what happens if it failed. I didn’t dwell on what could go wrong, I didn’t worry about crumpling it up and throwing it aside if I just totally missed. I was playing to win, not playing not to lose, and I had a blast!

How do I keep that mindset in more places of my life in which I worry about getting it all perfect and having it completely dialed? How do I keep a positive mindset and enjoy the journey rather than just the finished product at the destination while also not worrying about what happens if it fails because even in failing the journey was successful?

It reminds me so much of when I started logrolling with the family at the YMCA many years ago. I am super competitive and expect a lot out of myself, failing often really frustrates me. When I was logrolling – even at my best – I was absolutely freaking terrible at it! There were only two positive things I was doing in the entire process – smiling and getting back up on the log after falling off. Over several training series I just pretty much just as terrible as I had been, but I was having a blast! While my performance was awful from the physical perspective I was having so much fun realizing that it was a perfect practice of presence – as soon as my mind wandered in the least I was toast (technically wet toast). Failure, over and over again, and I loved every moment of it.

Why was that scenario okay while in so many other cases I would have gotten frustrated and worked up? Why was I so calm and unconcerned about failure while working on this recent project while I often can get so frustrated on something I think I should know?

Is it a choice of a beginner’s mindset? I’m not sure. If so, how do I shift my perspective to remind myself that every situation is a learning moment, the me who is about to do the thing is not the same me that has done the same task before.

Definitely a great reminder I am thankful for today, one I’ll be keeping in mind for the next few days for sure.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Pausing to Find a Solution, Spending Time with the WSU Sales Team, & Running with Music

Day 4,027

Growth:

When we face an unexpected challenge we can choose to flip out and lose our mind, try to ignore the issue and hope it goes away, or take a deep breath and figure it out.

This morning I had to take Leia to doggy day care before work, had a ridiculously tight work schedule that required prep work, and a full day of work going into the evening ahead of me. I got in the car, turned the key, and the car almost didn’t start. It barely turned over, but just enough to get started. I knew that as soon as I turned it off I’d be back to using the battery pack to jump start it like I did the day before.

Of all the days and times to have this happen… ugh… Before I got angry I took a deep breath and used the drive to drop off the dog to figure out a plan of attack. Thank goodness I have a great relationship with the service department at Dahl Toyota, I pulled in at 7:05am, left the car running, and was prepared to do some begging and pleading to see if they could figure out my battery issue. Not only did they get me in, they took care of the oil change, tire rotation, and a few other things that were scheduled for Friday, thus making my life easier on Friday and totally saving my ass today!

There’s usually a fix to the issue sitting out there waiting for us, remember to deal with it, take a deep breath, and calmly find an answer. That process would make so many segments of life easier!

Appreciation:

I had such a great time with the Winona State University Sales Team this afternoon! We covered so many topics from the best ways to determine the right sales careers to interview questions, job seeking tips, favorite travel locations, and shared passions for TV shows. Quite the eclectic conversation!

Spending time with them was incredibly invigorating, hearing their thoughts, getting jacked by their high energy, finding myself seeing just how bright our futures are. Having the opportunity to see the world through their eyes and mindsets was amazing!

As the formal teaching session wrapped up I received one of the best compliments I ever could hav hoped for, a student sharing how this class had helped her see that sales isn’t something to be feared, it’s a legitimate career opportunity she will be exploring.

Mission accomplished, purpose lived into. Well worth the investment of time and energy for so many reasons!

Presence:

This morning I took off on my run with only Leia, due to work I’d switched up my usual running schedule with Becky. With Leia pulling me along I added one of my favorite workout playlist to my headphones and took off in the cool dark air. As my legs warmed up I set aside any concern about pacing, I went with the music. By the last mile I was in a steady interval of jogging, running, and sprinting, all varied 100% based on the music and it felt great! All of me was in tune with the music in the moment, so completely zen even though the musical choices were anything but!

As one of my fellow yoga classmates and I discussed last night after class, running on a trail (or in the dark) is a wonderful moving meditation, an escape from the complexity of life, a reminder of how simple life really can be. One step at a time.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Taking on Conflict, Preparing in Advance, & Lost in Flow

Day 4,026

Growth:

Remember to have the difficult conversation right away when it needs to be had. Prolonging it only makes it more difficult and likely less useful. How many times have I shied away from conflict when I should have just hit it head on the first time? At fifty years old you’d think I wouldn’t need to to reminding myself of this fact, but I obviously still need the reminders!

Appreciation:

I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am to have been prepared. When I left work this evening my car made a crazy cacophony of clicking noises as I tried to start it. For some reason the battery was dead, definitely not ideal when I’m an hour and a half drive from home.

That’s where the preparation prior to needing it came in!

In less than five minutes I had the hood up, my portable battery jumper pack attached to the battery posts, and I was starting up my car with no issues at all. Thanks to some planning I did a few years back (putting a battery jumper pack into each vehicle) there was only a slight delay and zero stress.

Great reminder for me to plan ahead!

Presence:

This afternoon I was deep into a project for work that is something I am veyr passionate about. It was wild to see how slow time seemed to go, yet how quickly the hours had melted by when I realized I had to hit the road. I just kept adjusting, reviewing, editing, creating, deleting, and then practicing over and over. The content itself is something that gets my brain going, the purpose behind it aligns with mine so well, and it’s a challenge beyond what I’ve worked on in the past – put all those together and it was a perfect formula for a pretty wicked state of flow that consumed me. Those moments spent on that were fantastic!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Words to Live By, Gavin’s First Rugby Matches, & a Sunday Morning Hike

Day 4,025

Growth:

Regardless of one’s spiritual beliefs, the concepts shared in the Prayer of St Francis all lead us to love others, to live our lives as better people. Today I felt moved by them, reminded of so much I have to work on.

Prayer of St Francis

Make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek: to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life

    Appreciation:

    It was about three years ago I wrote a blog about how fun it was to observe the joy and passion Dominic found in the sport of rugby. His freshman year students activities fair led him to a sport he’d never before played or paid much attention to. The look on his face, the smiles as he talked about it, it was clear to see he was loving it.

    Catching back up to today…. Gavin found himself in a very similar position, the only difference being he’d had a little experience with rugby through Dominic. This weekend he had his first matches and had a blast! So much fun as s parent seeing your kids doing something they enjoy!

    Presence:

    Getting an early-ish morning hike in with Becky and the dogs (we’ve still got our bonus dog through tomorrow morning) was exactly the right way to start the day! Fresh air, activity, and opportunity to get my body moving was a great kick off to Sunday. With all the busyness of yesterday, this was the right pace to start the Sunday chill.

    Thanks!!!