I recently watched an intriguing podcast on racism, action, and how to actually make a difference. The speaker did an excellent job of explaining the differences between being “called out,” “called on,” and “called in.”
Call outs are straightforward and don’t often get a positive reaction. The person being called out usually digs their heels in deeper rather than change.
Being called on is similar to being called out, but in a way in which you share your positive views of the individual and ask them to help reconcile the difference you’re seeing in what they’ve expressed.
Being called in is to invite another into the conversation. There is no judgment, only curiosity in learning where the person is coming from. Thus starts a conversation and dialogue allowing us to hear the other person. Essentially it is the concept of “seek first to understand.”
Today I was called in to a conversation. The experience was wildly positive and helps me see how calling in can really make a difference. Prior to this call in I would have just put out my hands to stop the conversation, but this time was very different. Rather than feeling the need to go on the defensive I felt honored. What a huge difference in attitudes in me specifically because of how a conversation was started?
The next step in working on Gavin’s loft was to cut out the homes for the rungs of the ladders. Pretty simple task – measure, mark, cut, and then chisel. Simple… unless I somehow use the wrong marks and cut out way more than I was supposed to.
I didn’t measure a second time to be safe. I didn’t mark the cut lines as well as I should have. I took action instead of pausing to think.
Talk about frustrating!!! All so easily preventable.
Pause, deep breaths, find a solution.
Once the fix was created I paused to consider the steps that had gotten me to this point. So much learning and growth from one simple mistake.
My drive to Eau Claire was crazy foggy this morning! There were times when I would go from driving through a cloud to rising above the clouds and seeing islands of bluffs peeking out to back down into the clouds. Crazy!
After listening to my audiobook for a while I paused and listened to The Woods by Hollow Coves. While the song played my mind went to our backpacking trip to the Porcupine Mountains this past Spring. I remembered the last day of our hike specifically.
The cold river crossing early in the morning.
The rocky, gray, and quiet forest transforming into a lush green forest seemingly out of nowhere.
As the pieces come together on my writing I’m continually grateful for this journey. Losing Dad was the most difficult time of my life to date. The pain can still be raw at times. I often wish for an opportunity to have a few more minutes with him, another conversation, or another hug. The sense of loss will never leave my soul.
What’s interesting is that the more I write the more my thoughts shift from loss to gratitude for the time I had with Dad. So many wonderful moments, memories, and experiences with him. I am so fortunate to have had Dad in my life.
The more I write the more memories come back. The more I write those memories down the more memories that also rise up to the surface. And so it goes.
In many ways this journey has brought me closer to Dad. I’m seeing more clearly the impact he’s had on my life and the legacy I hope to leave my boys. As I write I’m seeing the good and the bad, what I’d love to grow into and the gaps I need to cross.
All the while I know Dad is with me in this journey. I can feel him supporting and guiding me. We do this together. It isn’t my story I am writing, it is our story we’re writing. Each step is a smile, a discovery, a lesson, and a moment I’m grateful for.
Over the course of the day I was reminded of the importance of taking time to plan rather than taking immediate action. There were two very specific moments in which I was rewarded for pausing to think.
For example, I decide to build a loft for Gavin so he has more usable space in his bedroom. I’ve only assembled a loft once and that was in college and was an epic disaster. This time around I’m designing, creating, and assembling the entire project. To get started I looked up several different designs online and started to find both the commonalities and the interesting differences. I took the time to draw the entire thing out, complete with exact measurements. Once my blueprint was complete I then picked up materials.
After work and supper today went out to the garage and got at it. Everything went way more smoothly than expected and I got significantly more done today than planned. Thanks to thinking through all the details in advance I was able to cruise and get into a state of flow while letting my hands do the work. It was awesome!
One other note that had me smiling. There was one flaw in my design, I needed exactly fourteen construction screws that were three inches in length – screws I neglected to buy. I stood there for a moment before lightning struck. When we took down the old tree house there screws that were exactly what I was looking for. I grabbed the bucket and pulled out all the right screws. As luck would have it there were exactly fourteen screws. It felt like Dad was giving me a little nudge, a wink, and smile from up above. Pretty awesome.
Always great soaking new ideas into the brain sponge! This morning’s drive to Eau Claire was full of some serious brain processing as I tried to keep up with the firehose of ideas pouring forth from my car.
Antifragile: Things that again from Disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb provided a wildly cognitive trip, and I’m only a third of the way through. All day long my thoughts keep drifting back to the concepts from the book.
More to follow on the book itself on a future day. I definitely need more time to process in order to do justice to the core of the book.
Nothing like getting my brain blown right away in the morning!
I’ve often talked about how thankful I am for living in The Driftless. This region has so many pockets of natural beauty seemingly around each corner. The bluffs, the valleys, the rivers, the woods, and the rocks – all so stunning!
This morning Becky took us on a hike into a Minnesota State Park we’d never been to – Beaver Creak Valley just outside of Caledonia. This place was truly a gem! The hiking was quiet, peaceful, and full of wonderful vistas. The specific trail we took also brought us to “Hole in the Rock,” the place we took this pic.
Our bonus day of the long weekend began in typical Kreiling fashion. This park is one we’ll certainly be back to several more times as we explore the entire area.
When left to my own devices I’m not always as disciplined as I know I should and could be. The idea of going for a run, hopping on my bike, practicing yoga, or hiking are easy for me to come up with. Sometimes there are so many options that I end up wasting my time on deciding which one to do! Regardless, I’ll start off with the best of intentions and then end up either getting myself distracted or coming up with an excuse to not do the action.
Today was a perfect example of what I am thankful for. Last night Becky asked if I’d like to go for a bike ride this morning. It sounded like a perfect idea and I was in. The weather was perfect, we got a nice 20+ mile ride in, and had time for the two of us to talk. It was an awesome combination of exercise and a date! Rather than sitting around and not really doing anything we were up and moving AND having active conversation. What a great way to start the day!
If Becky weren’t physically active like she is the odds are that we wouldn’t be doing things like this together. Not only does it motivate me to stay in better shape so I can keep up, it provides us so many opportunities to spend time together without phones, screens, kids, or anything else getting in the way of our time together. She pushes me to be healthy specifically by her actions. When we go on vacation there are no worries about what we’re going to do, we both enjoy hiking and being active on vacation. It’s pretty awesome!
My morning started out in wonderful fashion thanks to getting some exercise and fresh air in right off the bat. Becky made that all possible and I’m grateful for her all the more today.
Sometimes the simplicity of family time is so easily overlooked. At times during 2020 it felt as if all we did was spend time together as a family. Over the past month or two we’ve seemingly all been everywhere except with each other and without an agenda.
Tonight was the first time in a while that we all spent time together. We scattered a bit during the day as we all had stuff going on, but then rallied to head off to church early to be greeters. This gave us time in the car, time in the entrance of church – the low side without many people, and then on the way home. The boys did dishes on and off while I made pizzas and Becky took care of other stuff around the house. We ate as a family. We chilled on the couch and watched a movie and a half. We talked, joked around, and had a rest time together.
Pizza and movie night – such a common weekend activity last year, an awesome and appreciated treat now.
Tonight held a surprise I was hoping to see at least once, even if it were for the briefest of moments. The funny thing is that I thought the soonest it could possibly happen would be a year from now.
Becky and I were helping with the concession stand during the JV game tonight. Gavin and his buddy didn’t have practice so we brought them both along to the game. They’d both practiced with the high school team over the summer and wanted to watch their older soccer friends and future teammates play a rare Friday night game.
Once we got there the boys asked Coach if they could be ball boys during the games. The entirety of both games was spent with them running incessantly up and down the sidelines retrieving wayward balls while throwing the new one into the game. They put on quite aces miles.
While they had fun Dominic and his teammates played a tough game and did much running as well.
Something I’ve wanted to see ever since I realized it could be a possibility? Both my boys on the field at the same time. Not quite the way I envisioned, but awesome nonetheless and greatly appreciated!