Day 4,015

Growth:

Well, I’m thinking this might be a little more common over the next few days as I read more and more of The Speaker for the Dead. There is no question that it is one of my all time favorites as I discussed yesterday. So many nuggets of wisdom, so many themes that wind slowly throughout.

This was one of the quotes that really stuck out to me today, a quote about giving oneself grace. This theme is interwoven throughout the entire novel in so many ways with so many characters. We’ve all made mistakes, have regrets for actions we’ve taken and actions we didn’t take when we should have.

This quote reminds me that the me who made those mistakes is not the me who is realizing that the mistakes were made, to remember to focus on the me who is here now, who is different, who is changed, as a result.

A strange thing happened then. The Speaker agreed with her that she had made a mistake that night, and she knew when he said the words that it was true, that his judgment was correct. And yet she felt strangely healed, as if simply speaking her mistake were enough to purge some of the pain of it. For the first time, then, she caught a glimpse of what the power of speaking might be. It wasn’t a matter of confession, penance, and absolution, like the priests offered. It was something else entirely. Telling the story of who she was, and then realizing that she was no longer the same person. That she had made a mistake, and the mistake had changed her, and now she would not make the mistake again because she had become someone else, someone less afraid, someone more compassionate.


If I’m not that frightened girl who heard her brother in desperate pain and dared not go to him, who am I? But the water flowing through the grillwork under the fence held no answers. Maybe she couldn’t know who she was today. Maybe it was enough to know that she was no longer who she was before.

Orson Scott Card, The Speaker for the Dead

Appreciation:

A full and productive day at work hot off the heels of a nonstop day of adulting had me worn out for sure. All good, a productive worn out, but worn down nonetheless.

Getting home to Becky back was awesome! We’re both pretty tired, but it just feels more like home when she’s here, no question.

At 6:15 the two of us hopped onto one of our twice a week family FaceTime sessions with the boys, the four of us all getting together even though we’re separated by about 16 hours of drive time. Those moments shared catching up with each other were amazing, though we’re far apart we’re able to stay connected. Many jokes, laughs, updates, and so on – so much love on the call.

Today I’m thankful for all of the people who help home feel like home, for the time shared with family to help re-energize and remind me of why I do all that I do.

Presence:

My morning drive was again the source of my presence inspiration today. The weather was just too perfect of a “driving in the morning while the sun is coming up and keep the music blasting while drinking my coffee” kind of weather!

With the windows down the cool air blew through the car, the fog intermittently hid and exposed the sun, providing a very intriguing combo of sunlight and dreary all at once.

I sang aloud to a little Audioslave (I am the Highway) and several different Rural Alberta Advantage bangers while occasionally pausing to drink coffee in the guitar solos.

All in the world was at peace, no stress, no worries, no looking ahead, no looking back, only the moment I was in as the highway laid out before me.

Thanks!!!