What weird family joke do you and you siblings share many years later? One that Nick and I share is one of the things I’m most thankful for today. Seemingly out of the blue he made my day and had me smiling for hours.

This afternoon I got a text from my little brother that had me literally LOL-ing:

“Winner song is playing on the OR”

Way back in 1985 when my parents were hauling Nick and I all over northern WI for wrestling tournaments we didn’t have a fancy cassette player in our car. We relied on old fashioned radio to get us through the drive time. When “The Walk of Life” by Dire Straits came on Nick immediately called it “The Winner Song.” As someone who lost so bad that I sometimes didn’t even get a participation ribbon I had no clue what “winning” felt like. Nick said that this song sounded like winning and I took his word for it. He always ended up with medal (usually gold) so I figured he knew what he was talking about.

Here we are almost 35 years later and we both remember the song and the nickname for it. How awesome to have a childhood memory and joke that still lives on so many years later?

For those of you who might not know the song you can check it out here: https://youtu.be/Sys9LCUo-AU . Not gonna lie, now that I have an idea of what winning it is this song seems pretty close!

Thanks!!!

How true it is that sometimes we need to face adversity to see just how far we’ve grown.  We need to occasionally work through an unexpected challenge to see just how far we’ve come.  Today was a day that had a few of those challenges.  In one I noticed how calm I was and the other I didn’t notice until I started to type this blog.

On my drive home tonight there was a little surprise waiting for me once I hit I90.  My car beeped at me and my tire pressure light flashed on.  I was then able to watch my back right tire’s pressure slowly drop from 25 down to 5.  In that moment of time I took a deep breath, did a quick calculation of how far I could go, and then smiled as I realized I should have just enough to get to a rest area very nearby.  I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I would be able to change it in a parking lot instead of on the interstate.  When I popped the trunk to fish out the spare I caught myself smiling at realizing that in almost 160,000 miles in this car I’ve never had to actually pull out the spare out of the trunk before.  The bar was a little different than I was used to, but I was so happy to see how it folded in order to make it easier when lifting the car and removing the lug nuts.  I was grinning when the bolts only took a couple of sharp kicks to loosen.  As I was placing the spare on the car I paused and chuckled to myself.  I wasn’t quite whistling while I worked, but I wasn’t far from it either!

As I was present in the moment fixing the car tire I hadn’t noticed how seamlessly I’d cycled through any emotion and transitioned right into, “it’s happened, there’s nothing I can do to fix it, might as well enjoy it” mode.  Instead of getting angry or frustrated I just rolled with it and looked to the bright side.  I am so thankful for the emotional energy I didn’t waste and for finding a way to let the challenge bring a little extra joy to my day.  Crazy, isn’t it?

When I started typing this I realized I was missing something.  Today is Dominic’s birthday and I realized that I am super thankful for him and should be blogging about that.  When I thought of how I’d write the blog I thought to all of the time we’d spent together in person today…  hmm….  There hasn’t been any!  Dominic was still asleep when I headed into work today.  By the time I got home he’d already been long since gone to soccer practice and was then off to band until 10-10:30ish.  With an early start to the work day today I’ll be in bed before he even gets home.  All day will pass and I won’t have seen him (although I’m thinking I may have to wake up and give him a hug when he gets home).  We talked on the phone earlier today.  We texted each other.  When I first realized this I was amazed at how I wasn’t feeling crushed or disappointed that I won’t be spending time with him.  My mind had actually gone in a different direction though.  The day is what it is, planned the way it is.  The nice thing is that we spend a ton of time together and interact on a very regular basis.  Sure, it’s a special day, but how many of my birthdays have been spent without my parents present?  When it was possible they were around, when they weren’t we always talk on the phone.  I love my parents to death and it’s not based on whether or not they are present on a specific day, it’s based on how present they’ve been in the entirety of my life.  While it would have been great to spend more time with Dominic on his birthday I’m just as thankful for being able to spend time with him on a random Tuesday afternoon.  I’m so thankful that my brain processed all of that on its own without me having to think through it all.  It wasn’t until I was about to write tonight that I even realized that I’d processed it that way.

Maybe this whole reading and studying about stoicism is causing it to finally sink in more completely.  I’ve got a very long ways to go, but I’m grateful for today’s reminders of seeing it in action.

Thanks!!!

Over the past couple of days I had the opportunity to watch all four of Gavin’s soccer matches. In each there were opportunities for him to learn, grow and develop. As I pause and think I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to do the same through watching those games.

I am a creature of habit. This even extends into learning and acting. When left to my own devices I follow the schemas and paradigms I’m used to. An interesting thing I’ve observed is that sometimes my greatest learning comes when I not looking for it. In those moments when my brain is 100% present and focused on something seemingly unrelated I sometimes find a moment of clarity that ties back to other situations in life. This weekend I was able to pick out a handful of fantastic learning experiences that were definitely not intended.

As an example, during Gavin’s game today the opposing goalie had quite the foot on him. When he’d scoop up the ball and punt it there were a couple of times Gavin charged in only to have it bounce in front of him and go right over his head. When this was about to happen the second time I so badly wanted to holler to him “Back up!!!” Thanks to the parent coaching our club and coach has done I but my tongue and grimaced as the same thing happened a second time. Afterwards Coach asked Gavin a question, “where should you go next time he kicks it?” Gavin thought for a moment and motioned backwards. When Gavin was later subbed out I could see Coach walking through it with him again and Gavin was responding and nodding in agreement. When Gavin went back in I held my breath as the goalie punted the ball. Gavin paused for a half a second and then backed up to get in the right position. The next time there wasn’t even a pause before he dropped back.

I’m thinking about the experience I thought of my own tendencies both as a leader and a doer. When leading I am always so tempted to “fix” the situation right in the moment. How many times should I have paused and waited until the right time to coach? When should I ask the question to let my teammates learn more effectively instead of barking directions? When I’m doing something should I pause to ask myself a rhetorical question to help embed the lesson better?

So many ways to peel the onion and so many lessons to take away from one brief moment; especially a moment that is seemingly unrelated to leadership training.

Thanks!!!

We’ve been so blessed to have had so many excellent teachers for our boys.  Our experiences at Summit Elementary and Logan Middle have been truly outstanding.  The teachers have wonderful attitudes, help foster a growth mindset, and are so passionate about helping the students grow and develop.

This summer Gavin’s been working on some additional math classes online to help him prep for some crazy math this fall.  Once in a while I’ll happen to walk past Gavin as he’s taking the course online and I hear a very familiar voice.  His online classes are all recorded by our friend, Kim Novak.  

Kim has been recording all these classes in her spare time and has been busting her butt to get them all done.  I am so thankful for the time and energy she puts into creating these classes.  Based on everything we had scheduled this summer there is no way Gavin would’ve been able to attend enough in person summer classes to help him learn what he needs prior to the school year.  Thanks to her passion for helping students and willingness to put so much energy and effort into creating this content Gavin will be able to be one year ahead of where he would have been without her. 

As if that wasn’t reason enough to be grateful for her there are so many other ways in which she’s gone above and beyond the call of duty.  When we’ve run into technical issues she’s been there to help – seemingly at all hours and responding within minutes.  When Gavin needed to learn a valuable lesson about taking his time to practice the lessons prior to haphazardly taking the quiz she was right there with a great mix of a smile and sternness.  It was very clear that Gavin learned from that experience and has done much better since.  Throw in her flexibility and willingness to accommodate our crazy schedule.  We’re so thankful to have such a wonderful teacher taking awesome care of our boys and all of her students.

Thank you to all of the teachers the boys have had throughout their years of school, and a special huge kudos to Kim for going so far above and beyond what is expected.  Our boys are so fortunate to have teachers like you guiding them.  If (hopefully “when”) they find future successes later in life I’m positive they’ll look back fondly to their experiences with you just as I do with many of my past teachers ( https://thankful4forty.com/2019/04/30/day-944-thankful-for-an-unforgettable-lesson-from-an-amazing-teacher-mr-cerveny/ )

To all of my friends and family who teach – thank you so much for giving so much to help our children grow and to help make the world a more beautiful place.  You are appreciated greatly!!!

Thanks!!! 

LOL! Yup, total going with a surface level gratitude today, but it’s one I’m truly thankful for. I’m finally out of the car for good today!

I headed up to the Eau Claire office today and had an appointment in Chippewa Falls. Once done with work for the day I hurried south back home. At home I packed, loaded up, and we were headed out to Sioux Falls. Even the welcome feeling of getting to our hotel was short lived as I realized I’d hurried so quickly that I’d completely forgotten to grab my contacts case. Gavin and I headed back to the car, drove to Walmart, and then drove back to our hotel.

As I lay here and relax I’m realizing just how much drive time I’ve had today. I’ve been awake for just over 18 hours and have spent approximately 8-9 of those hours in transit. Getting out of the car feels great!!!

Thanks!!!

Dominic was texting me earlier and that’s already something that I’m still getting used to. Talking with him almost eye to eye is still a little crazy. Seeing him in his full soccer kit for his first high school sporting event was totally surreal.

In an instant Dominic went from being a middle schooler to a high schooler right before my eyes. My mind is still reeling from the shock – I should probably wait to finish writing this to let it all sink in. Nah, part of what I’m thankful for is the crazy emotion!

So proud of the young man Dominic has become and so thankful for witnessing this awesome moment!

Thanks!!!

Memories of hanging out with friends for birthdays still make me chuckle and smile. Sometimes it was a party, sometimes it was just a couple of us. Always it was awesome!

With all the soccer and life going on in the Kreiling household it was pretty fortunate that the one single night without plans in a two week span fell on Gavin’s birthday. Seeing as we’ve got two birthdays to celebrate it worked out very well to have the Lyga boys head on over – two Lygas with on stone, isn’t that how the saying goes? 🤷🏼‍♂️😉

Sitting here listening to and interacting with the boys is cracking me up. So crazy to see all their personalities shine through. I’m also chuckling while hearing some of the same jokes and goofs we used to do back in the day while also learning some new ones.

I’m so thankful to be hanging out with them on their special night and for having the opportunity to re-live and revive old memories.

Thanks!!!

There was a very tough decision I faced today.  Over the course of the day there’ve been no less than a dozen things I’ve been very grateful for outside of the usual suspects (I’m still working on not duplicating gratitudes).  In the past 17 hours I’ve started mentally writing posts until another one takes its place.  As I tried to narrow down my choices these were amongst the front runners:

• Waking up early to catch a beautiful sunrise over the bluffs
• A chance encounter with a small buck before sunrise
• Helpful coaching and feedback
• Business meetings that include river time
• Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd
• Living in the Driftless Area
• Music, the wind, and presence
• The ever changing sky over the river

It was a very tough decision, but one thing really feels like it will stick for an even longer time or more deeply than the rest.  In having to make that difficult decision I find great joy.  I am so thankful for so many blessings today to choose from!

What really sticks out to me today is a reminder of how important it is to seek first to understand instead of trying to be understood.  My mind often goes rapid fire through past paradigms and experiences to help me take shortcuts to where I want to go.  In doing so I’ve found that I sometimes miss the important details that could make all the difference.  Over the past day I’ve had a great reminder of why it is so important to pause and consider where others may be coming from.

The specific example isn’t important, but suffice to say that hearing the why caused me to pause and look at the situation from a different angle.  When considering that new found knowledge it’s leading me to a potentially much better solution that can benefit all involved significantly more.

I find it so interesting that when I pause and truly listen after asking someone “why?” the answer is quite often different than I would’ve imagined.  My brain tries to fill in the blanks instead of switching mindsets with the other person to see what their motivation might be.  In skipping ahead without first seeking to understand I can lead myself to wrong conclusions and complete derail positive and productive thought.  When I remember to first pause and ask someone for their “why” we can more quickly find a way to help us get to what helps us all get where we are attempting to go.

This has been yet another reminder for me of the times when the ego can get in the way. I tend to look through the world through my eyes first when I should be pausing to look through the eyes of others back at myself first.  Maybe if I have enough examples like this it will eventually become habit.  Until then I’ll keep today near and dear to my heart as a reminder of why it is so important to start with understanding someone else’s “why” prior to deciding it for them in my head.

Thanks!!!

When my first alarm went off this morning I must’ve shut it off without waking up completely.  The second buzz on my wrist two minutes later was enough to wake me a bit, but only enough for me to grumble as I shut it off.  Thank goodness for the third that went off five minutes later as that one finally stuck and I got out of bed.  I felt bones and joints creak as I rose and walked to the door to let the dogs outside.  Walking back through the house I felt all kinds of stiff and slowly started limbering up as I got dressed.  A couple of minutes later my contacts were in my eyes, the leashes were in my hand, and the girls and I were off for a walk to start our day.

A few steps in I decided that a walk seemed like the best course of action as opposed to running.  I’ve been frustrated with myself lately in how I’ve gone from running a half marathon a few months ago to feeling completely out of shape.  While walking I kept wanting to run but I really knew I should focus on walking.  For some reason a song started to play in my head…

No, you can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

As I started singing it to myself while walking with the girls a smile broke across my face.  Thanks to a little Rolling Stones I was reminded of one of the most important keys to happiness; happiness isn’t about having what you want, it’s about wanting what you have.  True happiness comes in be thankful for and appreciating what I have. 

As that thought crossed my mind I paused, took a deep breath and reset my attitude.  I stopped getting frustrated about being in less than great shape and was thankful for the opportunity to push myself, practice grit, and live lessons I’ve learned in the past.  I was suddenly thankful for having the drive to get out of bed in the morning, the wonderful weather that made this so much easier, and the company of the girls.  Instead of missing Becky and wishing she was walking with me I focused on how cool it was that she would be hiking in Colorado later in the afternoon and was excited to see pictures and hear about what she saw.  I was thankful for the silence of the morning, the crispness of the air, and the slowly lightening sky.  There was a spot right out of a fairytale where the trees opened in a clearing that was filled with fog and lit up by the moonlight.  I was grateful for the ability to be outside starting my day in nature instead of laying under the covers. 

With gratitude as my guide I walked faster and a little further than I’d expected to and it felt great.  My morning (and the rest of my day) continued to get better as I kept repeating both the song and quote about happiness.  It’s funny that even though I’ve blogged about gratitude literally every day for almost 1,500 days I still need to be reminded of the joy produced from a mindset of gratitude.  Maybe in another 1,500 days it will almost start to become an initial reflex to any situation. 

Thanks!!!

Whoever would’ve thought that building bridges is something that’s passed on through genetics?  Becky comes from a bridge building family and she definitely has a knack for it.  Even though she hasn’t had any formal training she certainly seems to be an expert at this skill.

You’re probably asking yourself, “Where is Kreiling going with this tonight?”  Hang in there for a moment and you’ll see.

This morning I woke up and started moving around.  Based on a much more physical Saturday than I’m used to it seemed as if every joint was creaking and every muscle was straining.  When Becky asked me if I wanted to go to yoga with her this morning my initial thought was NOPE!  I am pretty sure I grumbled and answer and let her know I’d decide shortly.  Over the next few minutes she gave me space and then talked me into going.  Nothing crazy or pushy, she just kept bringing it up in different ways until I finally relented.  After yoga I felt AMAZING!!!  It was almost as if she knew exactly what I needed more than I did.

While in final rest in yoga there was a thought that kept bouncing through my head.  I am so thankful for having a life partner like Becky.  There are so many times like talking me into yoga this morning when she helps me do the right thing.  Laying there this morning I almost chuckled to myself as I realized she’s helping me build a bridge.  When I think about the gap between who I am and who I should be I see Becky helping me build a bridge to span that gap.

She reminds me to stay positive and upbeat.  She helps me stay focused in the right palaces at the right time.  She reminds me of the dreams I’ve shared with her and helps me live into them.  There are many times when I’d like to shy away from something and she encourages and motivates me to do that thing.  For clarity – she’s not pushy, bossy, nagging, or all that.  Rather, she motivates me through modeling the behavior for me.  Becky totally leads my by example and I’m so thankful for that.  In each of those moments in which she helps encourage me to do the right thing she’s continuing to help me build that bridge to close the gap.

That thought is what I am so grateful for today.  I living life accompanied by someone who helps me to become a better version of me in a very positive way (and hopefully vice versa).  How awesome is that?  Each day she’s helping me to build the bridge across that gap and I’m thankful for her excellent construction skills. Over the past couple of days I’ve seen several examples up close and I appreciate each of them.  One plank at a time she’s helping me improve.  (Quick side note: I’m also thankful that she understands that it’s a pretty big gap that will never be completely finished but she sees it as worthwhile and meaningful work regardless.)

Thanks!!!