Hmm…  Speaking of nudges last night it seemed like I needed a nudge in a different direction.  Today there were several humbling moments throughout the day that caused me to pause and re-evaluate just how big the gap is between who I am and who I should be.  Some of them were rather humorous, some were very petty but indicators of other things and others were reminders of skills I need to take more time to hone.

One in particular reminded me of how I need to either let things go or help fix the problem.  During our nighty family walk after supper (a tradition during COVID times that I’ve become very fond of) I got all bent out of shape because we passed several people who were walking on the wrong side of the road.  When walking or running pedestrians are supposed to be on the left side of the road instead of the normal right side.  For some reason the simple act of others walking on the wrong side drove me BONKERS!!!  How silly is that?  For reals, there was no impact to me other than walking out of my path to go around them.  Also, I didn’t take the time to explain the right answer, I just complained and got irritated.  I didn’t let it go, I didn’t help to fix the situation, and I didn’t take time to just be thankful for so many people being outside getting exercise and smiling and waving as they passed.

Moments like that were around me often.  For clarity, they didn’t all revolve around frustration.  Some were a lack of action.  Others were a lack of discipline.  In others I was trying to control something I couldn’t control.  The biggest ones mainly involved me thinking a little too highly of myself and letting my ego get in the way.  Here’s the deal though, I am so grateful for those humbling moments.  They remind me of the work I have to do on myself while also reminding me that I’m making progress.

I’ve been listening to the book that inspired one of my favorite movies and my mind has been blown.  Fight Club is a movie I fire up at least once every couple of years.  I find it very entertaining and some of the thought processes in it leave me thinking (in a positive way, not the crazed chaos that is the second half of the movie).  I didn’t even realize there was a book about it until a content creator I enjoy said something about it.  I’m so glad I fired the book up, it’s been amazing!!!  If I thought the movie was great, the book is a couple of steps above it for many reasons.

This is one of those awesome times when the book is so much better than the movie.  For clarity, I know a lot of crappy movies from great books, but I mean books that are better than their already great movies.  In addition to Fight Club the other one that I think back to is The Godfather.  If you’ve enjoyed the movie but never read the book you’ve got to check out the book.  Incredible.  Flat out incredible.

Ahh…  always nice to go in with high expectations and find something even greater!

Thanks!!!

Almost exactly a year ago I wrote a blog about being thankful paying attention to nudges.

https://thankful4forty.com/2019/05/09/day-953-thankful-for-paying-attention-to-the-nudges-the-universe-provides/

Just last month I wrote this blog post about more nudges.

https://thankful4forty.com/2020/04/21/day-1301-thankful-for-additional-nudges-from-the-big-dude-upstairs/

When I have spent time thinking about my blog tonight I kept going back to a handful of interesting coincidences from the past week or so.  There are many things I am thankful for today (including just happening to set my dentist appointment for two days after they re-opened) and I realized that they almost all shared one common bond…  they were all nudges.

Some of what’s happened includes the following:

• A conversation with a friend reminding me of the importance of gratitude
• A book review reminding the power of purpose
• A conversation with my team reminding me of the impact one person can have
• Multiple conversations relating to the importance of having role models to help us shape our behavior
• A reminder of a story from a friend showing the power of positively impacting even just one person
• A completely blown sales call that reminded me of what happens when I go against purpose
• A handful of highly successful calls reminding me of what happens when I go with purpose
• A unique opportunity to help someone specifically because it is the right thing to do
• Seemingly random inspirational quotes all pointing in the same direction
• Many reminders of how gratitude can increase the amount of joy in the world
• and a few others which I’ll keep to myself for the time being

As I keep thinking through how all of them tie together I can’t help but notice that all of them keep nudging me down certain paths.  When I focus on certain things and directions I see how they fit.  When I go against the grain of them I find myself either struggling with internal conflict or a lack of passion and purpose.

While I still don’t quite have it figured out on how it all fits I’m certainly seeing that I’m walking on the right path.  Where does it go?  Who knows, and I’m okay with the idea of never quite knowing.  What keeps me moving is that I can tell that I’m making progress and moving forward.  Sometimes I seem to stray off the path, today I’m thankful for additional nudges that help guide my feet back to where they belong.

Thanks!!!

After our walk tonight the boys and I headed up to the workshop.  Dominic was focused on putting together the second deck box for Becky and it was great seeing him utilize the skills he’d learned from building the first one with me last week.  Gavin was helping me with a project I’m taking on.  In the process I taught him safe table saw usage, how to use a feather board, how to rip boards to size, and using a planer.  Throw in a couple of opportunities to test his shop math and it was great time.

I’m sure I’ve been thankful for workshop time with the boys at least a couple of times in the past, but I have to write about it again.  Spending time with them doing something I love, something that Dad loved, and something my Grandpas loved is fantastic.  Throughout the time together I’m often caught in a very amazing nexus of being present with my boys and at the same time remembering wonderful times with Dad.  It doesn’t get much better than that!

Earlier today I heard a sound I hadn’t heard for a while, the buzzing of a fly in my office. At first I started to ignore it, but then I heard a second one.  After a quick moment of thought I realized I needed to take a few minutes and fix the problem.  Within a couple of quick (and frustrating) minutes the problem was solved and I was able to get right back to work without distraction.  And then I chuckled to myself as an idea came to mind…

This morning I got frustrated with a minor issue that’s been bugging me for well over six weeks.  Each week it’s a little pain – nothing evenly remotely serious – but it causes me to have to pause everything for a short period of time and get back to work.  I’ve known the fix for quite some time and I just hadn’t taken the time to do it because I always planned on doing it later.  The fix would take just slightly longer than the work around so I kept setting it aside.  Today I finally took care of it.  Which brings me back to the two dead flies…

There I stood chuckling to myself (and at myself).  How foolish that I didn’t take time to get fix of the annoyance right away, but I figured out I was better off just taking the flies out right away?  How often do I skip fixing something that is relatively easy to correct and yet I fix something that is slightly more annoying immediately?  This was definitely a great learning experience from a very mundane task.  To the two dead flies in my workshop, I salute you and thank you for your annoyance and lessons taught.

Thanks!!!

Last week I was having a conversation with a friend and they asked me an interesting question.  I may have been asked questions like it before, but not quite in this fashion (at least that I can remember).  Ever since she asked it my brain has been letting it ferment a bit as it provides a very interesting thought process.

“Do you choose what you’re thankful for at the beginning of the day and focus on that throughout the day?  Are you being intentional in your gratitude?”

My initial response was a quick no.  Each day when I write my blog I usually write it at the end of the day after I’ve had the opportunity to experience the day and put it all into some sort of perspective.  As I thought about it I realized that there are many days I kind of choose what I’m thankful for early in the day and then my mindset stays focused on that train of thought throughout the day.  So maybe, but not really?  The interesting point about the question that was asked was the difference between what I’d call intentional, experiential, and transcendent gratitude.

Intentional gratitude would be when I choose to be thankful for something specific.  I focus on it, dig into why I am thankful for it, and I am then grateful for it.  While my initial response to her question was “no” I realized that there are definitely times in I chose to be grateful for something or someone because of the specific; ie Mother’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc…  In those scenarios my mindset of gratitude is different.  It causes me to intentionally dig which often provides a different level of thankfulness.

Experiential gratitude is when I see, hear, smell, touch or taste something that causes me to pause and be grateful for the experience.  Seeing a spectacular sunrise or the beautiful fresh green leaves on the bluffs over the Mississippi River cause me to pause and be thankful for what is all around me.  In those moments I am thankful for something because I have experienced it and that moment has reminded me to pause and be grateful for the experience.

Somewhere on a different level is what I would deem transcendent gratitude, though I would be very open to another name for it as this was the first one off the top of my head.  This gratitude in some ways is amongst the most meaningful to me as it helps me absorb life and its lessons in a very different way.  Examples of this are like a couple of weeks ago when I fell while running.  As I got back up I saw how the spill I’d just taken was a metaphor for running into challenges and obstacles in life.  When I spent time finding a reason to be grateful for the fall and thinking about what I could learn from it I was able to find gratitude that transcended the event itself.  When I focused on being thankful for the event I found a deeper meaning that made me significantly more grateful than I would have been without taking the time to focus on gratitude.  Transcendent gratitude seems to be derived from either experiential or intentional gratitude.  In many cases when it is achieved it seems to be the most powerful form of gratitude for me.

What do you think?  Is there a different form of gratitude that I missed?  Would you explain it in a different way?  Please shoot any ideas and thoughts out there, I’d appreciate more to think on related to this topic.

Long story short, today I am very thankful for my friend asking me a question that has my brain thinking more deeply on the topic of gratitude.  Funny how sometimes all it takes is one slightly different question to help our brains grow?

Thanks!!!

First off, how could I not be thankful for moms today?  Let’s face it, they are the super heroes living amongst us.  From personal experience they are the people who are always busting their butts to keep live running soothly for all of us.  They take care of us out of love, care for us in ways that no one else could, and will always accept us in spite of any of our faults.  Their the first ones to support us, give us a hug when we need it, and are always there for us when we need them.  How they find a way to get everything done and still make a little room for themselves is nothing short of magic.

Whether you’re a mom, a dog mom, a work mom, a foster mom, a safety mom, a second mom, a step mom, or some other form of mom I may be forgetting – let me offer my sincerest gratitude for all that you do; all the happiness and joy you bring to our lives, all times you help save us from mistakes, all the times you hug us and put bandaids on after we didn’t take your advice, and, most importantly, for all of the love you provide us.  Happy Mother’s Day!

There is something else I’m thankful for today and it’s been rolling around in the back of my head since I heard it this morning.  Someone explained that the current COVID-19 crisis was leaving him feeling a lot like a Jenga tower.  So many blocks of his life have been pulled out and additional pressure and stress has been added to the top.  If you’ve played Jenga in the past you know how wobbly everything gets as you pull the lower pieces out and add all of that removed weight to the top.

His metaphor really caught my attention and helped me see the world a little differently. How many things have been pulled out already?  Social distancing, working in person, shopping infrequently, travel bans, etc…  And this is just the list that comes to the top of my mind right now.  There are already so many ways this has impacted life in very significant ways that I’m not even thinking of right now.  Throw in all of the additional pressure, stress, and concerns, and the tower that is my life could very easily start to wobble.  The funny thing is that when you play Jenga enough times you start to learn a couple of things.

First off, just when you think that no more pieces can be pulled out you can usually find several more to remove and re-place before the tower comes down.  The reason I mention this is that there could still be more blocks removed.  I hope that’s not the case, but there’s a very high likelihood that there will be more adversity and challenge in our future.  If we look carefully we might find that some pieces we felt were essential actually could slide out and we would still be okay.

The other thing you notice is that the strength and stability of the tower starts with the base and foundation.  The stronger the base at the beginning the more stable the tower will be.  Some of the blocks that form the base are essential to the structure and without them the tower will fall.  If the tower starts off with a loose and off kilter base it will most likely fall before its time.

Thinking of this metaphor I’m reminded to pause and remember that almost nothing is for ever.  Almost everything could be stripped away.  What I should be doing in a time like this is focusing on the foundation of who I am.  I should be focused on those blocks, protect those blocks, and do what ever is necessary to keep them in place.  One wrong movement and I could knock the tower out of balance.  If I am to take on more weight, more stress, and more responsibility I must keep the base strong.

What are those important blocks for me?  What’s the foundation that I need to keep working on to protect?  What are the pieces of me that I think are essential but in reality could be stripped away without disaster?  Throughout the day those questions have kept popping back into my head.  The interesting thing is that the answer to the question of the core has been tied very closely to a combination of my faith and my values.  Even in both of those I’ve been thinking about what within each of those could be stripped away. this is helping me think more deeply about the “why” behind the importance of each portion.

I know, pretty deep, especially on Mother’s Day!  It’s been a wonderful thought exercise and I’m very thankful for it.  It’s definitely led to some great thinking today.

Thanks!!!

This afternoon we hit the bike trails for the first time this season on bikes.  After several weeks of hiking it was awesome to hop on the bikes and head out.  It’s been quite a few years since we’d last take the Sparta Elroy Trail through the old train tunnel.  The weather just got better and better as we pedaled our way out and back while enjoying the beautiful vistas from the trail.  I’m pumped to get back out with the family again soon!

When Gavin crashed his bike a few weeks ago we decided to upgrade bikes a little.  I’ve been looking at getting a new bike for a while and the boys have been growing right through bikes at a rapid clip.  We decided I’d pick up a new bike and pass mine to Dominic and pass Dominic’s to Gavin.  Odds are we’ll be buying them both new ones soon with as quickly as they’re growing.

Back in the day the boys enjoyed taking part in the YMCA Kids Triathlon.  Each year the team from River Trail Cycles was there volunteering.  Emily and the team were always smiling and helping kids tune up their bikes before the race.  Becky and I always thought it was so awesome that they gave back like that.  I’m not sure who’s smiles were bigger, the kids who were getting their bikes fixed or Emily and the team.  It was awesome to watch and we were greatly appreciative of their help in getting the boys’ bikes ready.

This time around the River Trail Cycles team took excellent care of me.  Dan helped me pick out the right bike based on getting to know how I’d be using it.  He went the extra mile to make sure I got one that was the right size even though it meant extra work for them and the same price for me.  Emily kept in touch as they got the bike ready for me and was super helpful and friendly when I acme to pick it up.  Long story short, they’re a wonderful locally owned business with incredible customer service.  Throw in the volunteer work they do and how could I not be thankful for them?  Thank you Emily, Dan, and the rest of the River Trail Cycles team for the awesome support and service!!!

Thanks!!!

When I got home from shooting the Get Ahead video yesterday Becky was chuckling and explained how one of her friends and co-worker had just sent her a message saying she’d just seen my video on another friend’s Facebook page. It turns out Becky’s co-worker went to school with the franchisee of another Express office! How crazy is that? I always find it interesting to see those moments like that when I get an opportunity to see just how interconnected we all are. Seems like these types of moments happen only once in a dozen blue moons.

Imagine my surprise when I had the same thing happen, only even more crazy, within 24-ish hours! I posted a gratitude video for two of the folks from Express HQ who worked in the background to put the video together. One of my good friends from here in La Crosse, WI said how much she loved my Express HQ friend from OKC. Yup, my mind was pretty much blown at that one! Turns out they’d met years ago in Madison and had build a friendship prior to one of them moving. How crazy is that??? These moments had me smiling throughout the day.

Isn’t it wild to know that the world is actually a pretty small place. If we try hard enough we’re bound to find a friend or at least a friend of a friend nearby in almost any situation.

The day itself has been a very solid one. Throughout it I’ve had several moments in which I had a “blog worthy” gratitude. There was wonderful in depth conversation that helped me see when my actions, intentions, and best self don’t always line up. My teams all head great days and made huge progress. Following up on comments and questions from yesterday was a great way for me to help others. Great time with others via Zoom tonight. Dominic made a delicious supper for us. Becky, Dominic, and I had a great walk before dinner.

Thanks!!!

Isn’t it funny how certain moments in life seem to slow down in a very positive way? The term I always think of, but have never literally experienced, is “seeing the stitches on the baseball” as the pitcher releases the pitch. In that moment everything you’ve worked so hard to do just clicks and you’re left in a wonderful state of flow. If you’ve experienced working in a flow state before on anything you know that it’s an awesome sensation. Everything clicks, even when it actually doesn’t. There’s no active voice in your head, there’s no past, there’s no future. There’s only the task you are doing in that moment and it is amazing!

Today I was fortunate to be on the Get Ahead: Ask a Recruiter live chat. You can check it out here if you’d like to watch or share it. This is something I’ve never really done before, going live in front of nothing but my iPhone was a wild experience. Once we got rolling everything just seemed to flow and I thoroughly enjoyed being in a state of flow. It was wild, once the chat was over it was like I abruptly came back to reality. Interesting side note: I even experienced a sensation of loss immediately at the conclusion as I knew the task I’d been working on was no complete and I had an emptiness in me. I’ve been here before, the greatest experience like this was after the marathon Becky and I completed together. Just as in dealing with grief I knew the way to fix this feeling, I took a moment to be grateful for the opportunity. Crazy how the feeling of loss or a sensation like it follows that flow state often for me…

Of course there is so much to be thankful for today, especially from this event. From the folks who set it up to my cohost to everyone who tuned in and asked fantastic questions. I’m thankful for the opportunity to help others. I’m grateful for so many things related to the event, but what I want to blog about today is very much outside of the experience itself. I’m thankful for three things that created the flow state.

First, there was a tremendous amount of preparation put into this. Trial runs, dress rehearsals, recordings, research, practice, and training. The hard work, repetition, and practice really prepared me for this. When I was first asked to do this I thought it would be a breeze and I would just cruise through it, maybe a practice run or two and we’d be ready. Little did I know how much preparation went into this. I’m grateful for the preparation.

Next, I am grateful for flexibility. In the moment there’s a choice to be made when something doesn’t go as planned. Thanks to the preparation I’d gone through so many scenarios in my brain in advance should something not work out. Even when I think I’ve planned for everything there’s still bound to be a curveball or two. The big one that got me today was during an answer I was giving and my iPhone said the battery was almost dead! My heart kept out of my chest but I took a deep breath and rolled with it. The phone was plugged into my laptop and I’d turned my laptop off so I would t be distracted. I had to take a deep breath while answering the question, quickly problem solve, and then fix the situation. Even with all the preparation I had to remain flexible and ready to respond to anything. The funny thing is that it all happened so smoothly I kept cruising in that state of flow. I am thankful for flexibility.

Last, I’m thankful for triggers. Ever since a specific presentation I gave I always remind myself to “flip the switch” before performing. I know, it sounds homey, but I honest to God say “flip the switch” aloud and picture a big red light switch that I’m flipping into the On position. This reminds me that it is time to be on and ready. As many of you know, I can’t just be stone cold serious. With that in mind I rely on one other trigger under stress right before starting. I crack one quick joke to lighten the situation for my team and I. Today it was telling them right before we went live “I feel bad about not telling you all this sooner, but under extreme stress I’m a crier and I’m feeling really stressed right now.” The facial reactions in that split second shortly before going live was all I need to stay locked in from flipping the switch while staying loose from a quick laugh. I’m thankful for those triggers that helped me be ready to go.

The presentation went well. There’s already things I’ve gone back to and critiqued – that’s just me. All in all it seemed to be a success based on the comments, questions and responses. Being in a state of flow during it was amazing, but I’m most grateful for those three aspects of the presentation itself that helped me reach that state.

Thanks!!!

On our run this morning the weather was pretty much perfect.  There was almost zero wind.  The water was almost perfectly still.  At one point I watched a fish jump and the ensuing ripple slowly spread seemingly forever across the water.  The temperature was mid forties, just cool enough to not get too hot and not so cold to not be chilled.  It was quiet except for the birds and a train.  Weird as it might sound, I found the rhythymic rattle of the train to be quite soothing.  After we’d turned and were heading back along the beach the sunrise turned the sky a spectacularly purplish pink.  You could tell where the sun was about to pop up as there was a magnificent beam of light going straight up into the sky like a beacon.  The stillness of the water reflecting the glorious pre-sunrise sky only increased the beauty.  What a wonderful sight it was, especially early in the morning.  I couldn’t help but smile wide as I gazed at it (we’d stopped to slowly walk and enjoy the view).

Sometimes people ask how I can be happy all the time.  Truth be told, I’m not.  That’s actually one of the reasons I type my blog each day.  It’s a learned behavior to remind me to be thankful.  When my mind strays from gratitude my joy decreases significantly.  In no time I can become pessimistic, frustrated, judgmental, and generally unhappy.  That’s where I found myself this afternoon.  I wasn’t in a very good mood.  Nothing bad had happened or anything, I was just getting frustrated.  Being thankful for anything was the last thing from my brain.  I caught myself wishing things were different.  Instead of thinking from the standpoint of acceptance and action I moved to wishing and pausing.  Realizing where my head went only made it worse and I could feel myself starting to spiral.  So what do to about it?

Well, I asked myself – in a condescending and cynical way – what am I thankful for today?  Before I completed the question I was reminded of the pre-sunrise sky.  When I’d watched it I’d already started writing a blog about it in my brain.  In that moment I was making the choice to be happy and choose an attitude of gratitude.  All of the negative things were still going on around me but I chose to focus on being in the present and being grateful for what I had; perfect weather, my favorite running partner, exercise in the morning, and a spectacular view.  As I thought back to the sunrise I realized that everything was pretty much the same as it was then, I was just choosing my attitude… and I could do that again now.

Suddenly I started being thankful for the ability to go for a family bike ride, to enjoy the fresh air, to appreciate the successes my teams are having, to push forward and grow, and so many of the blessings all around me.  Sure, there were some setbacks and frustrations today, but why focus on them and let them bring me down?  they are opportunities for me to grow.  I’ve survived them all and will continue to improve.  What else could a guy ask for, right?

Long story short, my day has become infinitely better by choosing my attitude.  Even choosing to write this blog earlier than normal has had an impact.  I can feel my attitude and joy increasing as I realize there is so much to be thankful for.  Just think, being able to flip the switch from being frustrated and ornery to happy and joyful just by remembering a beautiful pre-sunrise?  I’m so thankful it reminded me to choose the right attitude today!

Thanks!!!

 

There were more than a few times today when I had to pause and recognize the progress I’ve made in certain areas.  At times I caught myself doing the right thing by not taking action and pausing to allow room for others.  At other times I caught myself taking action when I previously would not have.  In either case I paused and took a second to see how I’ve made progress over the past weeks, months, and days.

Similarly, there more than a few times today when I had to pause and realize that I had opportunities for improvement.  Sometimes it was when I caught myself not taking action when I should have.  Other times I was jumping in when I should have paused.  In either type of situation I realized that I have a long ways to grow and much progress to make.

How interesting to have both thought patterns co-existing equally on the same day?  Today I’m thankful for both sensations as it helps me appreciate something else; I’m taking time to pause and examine the gap.

Father Mark always did such an amazing job of talking about recognizing the gap between who we are and who we are called to be.  He reminded us to be cognizant of it and to find ways to close it.  A day filled with mixed emotions like this helps me see that I am indeed paying attention to it.  It also is a day that helps me see that while I’ve made progress I still have a long ways to go.

For clarity, that’s not a cry for help or anything like that, rather it is a very healthy understanding and acceptance of my current shortcomings.  Today there were several things that I look back upon and realize I should’ve done or handled differently.  In recognizing them I’m able to start thinking ahead to how to handle them differently in the future.  By recognizing the gap I can work to close the gap.

On the flip side, it is nice to see progress made as well.  If there’s only ever the gap I’m looking at it would be so difficult to stay upbeat and willing to keep pushing forward.  If there were no signs of success it would be tough to motivate myself to push ahead and grow.  Growth is difficult and involves change, status quo is always the easiest option.  In seeing progress I’m reminded that I have the ability to close the gap.  Even no matter how incremental it is within my own power and control to act the way I should at all times.  I’ve made progress, I can see the progress, and I can make more progress.

So today I’m thankful for seeing both the signs of progress and opportunities for improvement.  I’ve moved the dial in the right direction and I can see how to move the dial a little more tomorrow.  It won’t be perfect and I doubt I’ll ever get the gap completely closed, but days like today will help me continue moving forward.

Thanks!!!