Becky went for a hike with a friend after supper so Dominic and I decided to fire up a couple of games of Battleship. After being soundly trounced both times he took mercy on me and pulled out Jenga. The weather was pretty close to perfect so we took it out on the deck and started stacking.
After a handful of games we both agreed that neither of us will be on the Pro Jenga circuit anytime soon. We were laughing and having a blast while knocking the stack over way too quickly.
Instead of putting it away we decided to do some engineering. We each built a small structure with a few blocks. We then took turns flicking a block like a kicking a field goal with a paper football at the other’s structure across the table to attempt to knock it over. Before long we’d gone from three blocks to two dozen each as we tested our architectural skills. It was AWESOME!!! So many laughs together as we kept learning both through trial and error as well as each other. We were competing in the most fun of ways, together.
By the time we’d packed it up we had smile lines and bruised fingernails, scars well worth their price. Time outside in excellent weather. Time hanging out with one of my sons. Time creating a game to fit our personalities. Time playing and making memories. How perfect is that?
LOL – I already had a great post in mind for today, but it has totally been usurped over the past two hours. It must have needed more time to percolate, maybe it’ll come to life another day, but maybe not.
Stand Up Paddleboard (SUP) Yoga has quickly become one of my favorite summer weeknight activities. Finish work, change into swim trunks, jump on a board, and float and stretch on the lake in the sun. Shut off everything else, focus only on the present, breathe, stretch, hold, and soak in the beauty of nature around the lake. Yet again the simplicity leading to a deeper joy.
Our instructor tonight was telling us about their opportunity to take a camper van for a spin next week to try it out. Before we left we’d spent a ton of time talking about the van. Every word spoken about it was a gallon of dream fuel. Buying a camper van is the gift Becky and I plan on getting each for Gavin’s graduation. Yes, we’re buying ourselves a present, we will have earned it over the previous couple of decades of raising our boys. Talking about their upcoming trip got my brain going in hyperdrive and I can’t stop smiling when thinking about all the places we’re going to take our camper van in the future.
Soon….
On the way home a recommendation of Culver’s was thrown out and unanimously approved by the occupants of our car. Concrete Mixer on a hot day like today after sweating in the sun? Heck yeah!
Hmm… several different directions to go tonight, which one is most fitting?
Dominic and I watched a couple of episodes of Rick and Morty tonight. true to its normal crazy science related hijinks the episode also did a wild twist on reality. In a few spots it became a story within a story within a story within a story. Just as the main characters realized they were in a story they’d jump back into reality – which would be another story.
Why in the world am I sharing that in my post tonight? in some ways it’s a fitting segue into an experience I’ve had more than a few times recently.
Over the past week or so there’ve been a few times when I am coaching someone only to find that in the coaching I’m also coaching myself. It’s a wild concept and feels a bit surreal, but in those moments it kind of like being in a story in the story. Layers of coaching meant for another while also realizing that it is a message I also needed to hear. Talk about an awesome two for one!
By the end of our practice tonight I was a sloppy pile of sweat and exhausted muscles. In many ways I started to realize how it must feel to be a puddle… and I couldn’t have been happier about it!
One of our favorite yogis was teaching tonight and she took us on quite the journey. She had us flowing from position to position while taking just the right amount of time to help us pause and shift our focus to specific sensations as we held our pose and then adjusted ever so slightly. There were timely reminders to focus on our breath as we held more and more difficulty positions. From start to finish she was amazing.
The physical workout was amazing and burned about as many calories as a 5k run. That said, my favorite part of the workout was the focus on the present and the stillness it created.
Last week was a wildly busy week as is this current week. If I were an ocean I’d be covered sharp waves like in the thick of a storm. At yoga the focus on the present instantly calmed the sea to a perfectly flat mirror like finish…. by doing nothing more than plunging me into the depths of the present. In the slow movement and focus on breath all thoughts and stress melted away and left only the quiet me in the now.
Quick note to Future Mike: yet again the most profound moments of stillness, awareness, and serenity are found in moments of extreme simplicity, no “stuff” required.
More than a handful of hours were spent reviewing my edited manuscript today, much like there were yesterday. Reading, reviewing, and re-framing something I’ve already written was quite a surreal experience. In many ways it seems as if I’m reading a story of my life written by someone else using notes from past conversations.
What really struck me today was how much re-reading these thoughts and past writings brought back memories and emotions. There have been more than a handful of times in which I have been forced to pause rather than succumb to emotions which would have slowed the process. Many of these experiences are from over four years ago and they still have the ability to strike an emotional nerve.
Over the past couple of days something has really continued to bubble up to the surface. Many of our greatest moments of growth and development seem to occur as a result of working through incredible adversity. There have been so many ways in which I’ve grown since Dad’s death and as a result of his death. The lessons learned through the pain of loss, grief, and sadness… but also lessons learned through gratitude, love, stillness, thought, and growth mindset.
I would still gladly revert back to where I was four years ago if that would bring him back, but that’s obviously not an option so why even entertain the thought?
There’s a quote from Proust which seems so fitting today.
We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.
Marcel Proust
In taking the time to write this story I’m completely immersing myself back into that suffering. What makes it easier to bear is the concept Frankl shared – I’ve found purpose in my suffering, I have an opportunity to transform it into a tool for joy for others… while healing myself in the process. Hmm… In many ways I already feel healed, it seems more correct to explain it as “while completing this chapter in the creation of myself in the process.”
Such a dichotomy between yesterday’s and today’s posts! Yesterday included a spontaneous and out of the blue accomplishment of a dream. Today I’m grateful for making small bits of progress towards a gigantic dream.
Today I’ve spent several hours working on my book. Reading, editing, and planning have been the name of the game. Tomorrow will be spent wrapping up the plan and notes back to my editor as well as writing a few of the additional pieces necessary to round things out. It is definitely work, but a very rewarding type of work. The feeling of accomplishment has been awesome.
I’ve got well over 100 dreams I’d like to accomplish before my time on Earth is up. Yesterday one was scratched off in a moment of surprise. The one I worked on today has been over four years in the making and is on track to be completed by the end of the year. Each counts as one, but each one doesn’t count the same to me. Yesterday I was thankful for the spontaneity of accomplishing one, today I’m grateful for the grind, for slowly chipping away at a huge dream.
Often when I blog it is related to something specific from my day and it is specific to me. When that is the case I feel open to sharing emotion, details, and the entirety of the situation.
Once in a while my gratitude is for something related to another person. In that scenario I don’t feel it is appropriate to share the detail as that is up to them.
There are other corner cases in which I don’t feel obligated to share the detail for an undisclosed reason. There are a variety of reasons why, but in general they involve something I would like to keep personal.
Today is there first day when I’ve had two gratitudes – one in each of the second and third categories.
First off, I felt a deep sense of purpose. Not just a doing my job sensation, rather a profound awareness of truly living into my purpose. There was a specific moment in which I saw the right thing to do in a fleeting situation. I almost avoided it but then felt deeply compelled to do the right thing so I did. My mind has been blown by the result and I am beyond grateful for taking that action.
Second, earlier today I was caught completely off guard by an excellent surprise. Out of nowhere I was able to knock off one of my dreams in spectacular fashion in a truly epic experience and action of extreme kindness. I’ve been smiling ever since.
Yup, there’s not a lot of detail there and I’m okay with that. I grateful for purpose and a completely unexpected surprise today. Both have moved my soul today.
Today Dominic and I created a memory I doubt either of us will forget for quite some time. Dominic drove while we took Gavin to soccer practice tonight. During the drive there were a couple of times when Dominic was a little too cautious going around a corner – he dropped his speed way down before turning. When we dropped Gavin off we swapped seats so I could give him a demonstration on how to take corners in a small little manual car like this. While it was fresh in his head I thought it’d be a good learning opportunity. As luck would have it we were in for quite the fun!
On a quiet street I showed him how quickly the Honda Fit can corner without being too fast. He was a little scared at first and then was smiling when the g force pushed him up against the side of the door. After a couple more corners like that he was getting what I was saying about going faster around corners. The intent wasn’t to go that fast, but to know that you can have more speed and turn safely.
On our way home the light changed to red just as I pulled up. I braked and immediately grimaced. Driving the stick shift I knew what I’d just done… I had stopped at a busy intersection in which I have to take off uphill. My worst fears were realized when the car behind us pulled up nice and close, like really close.
“Hey dude, not gonna lie here. I’m kind of shitting myself thinking that I’m either going to kill it going up the hill and back right into the car behind us or I’m totally going to peel out as we go around the corner.” Dominic’s eyes grew wide and he started laughing out loud.
“You’re scared? That’s awesome! I thought it was only me!”
“Nope,” I said as the light turned green.
As I tore around the corner way faster than I meant to the squealing of the tires was LOUD!!! I’d totally just lit them up pulling out. My fear of killing it turned into way too much gas and we were rocketing around the corner.
Dominic and I were both full on belly laughing.
Out of nowhere a white Rav4 flies up on us and is in the lane next to us. Looking over we realize that is one of Gavin’s best friends and the friend’s dad, who is also the father of one of Dominic’s best friends. Both Steve and Lance were laughing while Steve waved his finger at me.
“Hold on Bud,” I said as I downshifted and hit the jets.
We were suddenly in a safe and contained race with each other. I used every ounce of extra power from the Fit and shifting to get us up to over highway speed just before we got on the interstate. Dominic and I were laughing the entire way home!
It was bad enough to accidentally peel out, but doing it in front of someone we knew made it all the more embarrassing and hysterical. We’ve been joking about it throughout the night and I’m sure we will be for years to come.
Memories like this are some of life’s greatest treasures.
Hmm… mental block and I’m laying in bed. The only thing between me and sleep is my blog. Write it and I go to sleep. Suffer writer’s block and become more tired and slightly frustrated. I think I’ll just type and see what happens 😉
Several different ways I could go today. Maybe the best idea is to call this one a hodge piece, a potpourri, or a mixed bag today.
I received an awesomely inspirational video from a wonderful friend first thing this morning. They are someone I look up to and see as a role model in how to live a joyful and meaningful life as a husband, father, friend, and business person. Their video had me smiling and taking note of the lessons shared. What a blessing to start the day with!
We normally get together in person for our annual Express Leadership Academy retreat but had to go with a second year of Zoom meetings instead. No worries though! The sessions today were outstanding, effective, and were aligned with much of what I am working on currently. Who says you need to get away for a retreat? Sometimes you just need a couple of hours of quiet time and space.
Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. Sometimes it is rough. In those moments it would be so easy to take the easy way out instead. I’m thankful for taking right path today.
This evening I tried something new. I’ve always wanted to grill corn on the cob but never have so I figured tonight would be the night. It wasn’t perfect and I learned much but it turned out pretty well! Definitely going to add that into the grilling rotation.
Progress came in the form of the latest version of the manuscript of my book tonight. I am overjoyed to see this next step and slightly terrified of the amount of work get to take on. I will finish this and have it created by the end of the year. Period. Hiking in the mountains has taught me to appreciate the false summits. Rather than being intimidated it is an opportunity to enjoy how far I’ve come and lick my chops as I see how much more I am gifted to enjoy.
Whew!!! That went so well once I just started typing…. As a matter of fact I think I just hit my title and core gratitude for the day!
Morning runs are crazy things sometimes. Not too long ago I wrote about be thankful for a rough one. They’re most often more enjoyable with a partner who also adds motivation for the early wake up time. Sometimes they just suck and other times they are so daunting I decide to stay in bed instead.
This morning’s run was amongst the best I’ve had. From the start I was loosened up and ready to go. My legs felt great and had a little extra spring in them. I turned on some great music and just let my brain go. There was almost no inner monologue, just my body in motion doing the same thing it has done thousands of times. The views were amazing as I went out on a country road that was really to me. No specific finish line in mind, I went past my normal distance and didn’t turn around until I was atop the hill. Cows watched my curiously as I bounced through fields of layered fog. By the time I got back I was heading in only to get ready for work in time rather than due to fatigue. I was completely refreshed and felt wonderful!
Sometimes run is freaking brutal and I bear it. Runs like today are reminders of why I so enjoy the exercise humans were made to do.
Just a quick side note for Mike of the future when he stumbles upon this again. I’m finding more and more often that my flow state is in direct relation to the simplicity of life in that moment. Does simplicity strip away all else so the focus leads to flow or does the focus of flow strip away all but the simple and essential?
Thankful for Forty 