Day 2,398

Growth:

It is easy to train by talking, it is more effective to train by asking questions and helping others work through their answers. So much of my life I’ve spent showing how I was right or how I was smart. As I stand back it is easier to see that the greatest impacts actually occurred when I helped others be right and smart. Easy to talk, more difficult to lead and teach through questions, but so much more productive. Talk less, questions more, listen more.

Appreciation:

Today I’m thankful for looking across the gap. Throughout much of the past week or two I’ve had opportunities to look across the gap that lies between who I am and who I am called to be. There is much space between the two edges, so much that I fear I won’t make it all the way across before I leave this life. That said, I’m oddly soothed by the gap and am more optimistic and hopeful thanks to the gap. I am seeing so much to improve and I am seeing ways to make small shifts in patterns and behaviors to get there. I see that the only thing getting in the way of closing the gap is myself, my fear of change, my unwillingness to change and sacrifice, my ego, and my own thick headedness. This is truly a wonderful thing to realize as I see that I have the ability to move myself in the right direction, it is not something I am powerless against and must succumb to. I must focus on what I can control and the gap is something I have the ability to have mastery of.

It could be demotivating if I choose to look at the gap the wrong way, it is so far to go, BUT if I choose to see it as something I have the ability to overcome it quickly shifts to a very positive and optimistic thing. Today I am thankful for looking across the gap. It reminds me that I have the power to choose to work on closing it, it is not something imposed upon me. It is one of the few things in life I actually have 100% control over.

Presence:

Today was my first time helping at a track meet. Becky and I helped in the pit for the long jump and I was tasked with jotting down the scores, watching for scratches, and adjusting the jump line to either the first or second board. While their was a wonderful simplicity to the task it was all very new to me and forced me to be hyper vigilant, especially during the jump. As the jumper would sprint towards the pit I had to watch where their foot was prior to launching themselves as far as they could. In that split second I had to determine if their foot crossed the line. Most of the time it was an easy call but there were also which were insanely close. There was no room for not paying attention, I had to stay perfectly focused on that goal… and it felt amazing in an oddly presence based way!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,397

Growth:

Fiction is an oddly useful tool for growth. As I continue reading The Wise Man’s Fear I’m picking up more and more pieces of philosophy that weave themselves into much of my recent thought processes. Listen more, talk less. Patience and stillness. The upsides and downsides of curiosity and passion. So many lessons to be learned through the vacuum of fiction!

Appreciation:

This empty space has been staring me down for several long minutes now. My brain has too many directions tonight – I believe that’s a good thing.

I’ve completed a project, had a handful of meaningful conversations, worked with my hands, run with Becky, had a great dinner with my sons, spent time in deep thought, taken in the power of nature, contemplated the impermanence of all things, wrapped up things before time away, have suffered a productive dose of anxiety over the next project, put new ideas together, saw growth through the review of notes from over six years ago, and now have forth time focused on gratitude.

What a beautifully full day it has been!

Presence:

Nothing quite like going to the dentist to slam me into the present! The sensations of metal tools scraping my teeth are quite unnatural but still focus me on the here and now. My hygienist is great and super gentle, yet the feeling in my mouth is so unlike anything I’m used to that I am immediately rooted in those moments – for better or worse!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,396

Growth:

In a couple of situations today I caught myself about to prove why I was correct about something. There were multiple right answers and my ego wanted to point out how I was right also. The funny thing was this…. it did not matter! Why waste the emotional energy and words when it makes zero difference other than to placate my ego? What was truly horrifying was realizing how often I must do this without noticing.

Will the battle ever really be won over ego? It seems I keep finding it with a flashlight hiding in dark corners only to have it scurry off and hide elsewhere when I’m not looking. I’ll continue the search until it is finally driven away for good.

Appreciation:

Over the past couple of nights Dominic has been a huge help in helping to put in our new dining room flooring (Gavin’s been tied up with homework and church). Honestly, it has been incredibly rewarding working on this with him. He’s been a huge help which is great, but having time doing what it used to love doing with Dad fills my heart in so many ways.

Presence:

Seeing the river continue to rise had been crazy! Each time I’ve caught a glimpse of it while driving my thought process stops dvd I’m focused almost 100% on the river (the remainder stays on driving 😉). Water always wins, the power of the river is truly amazing.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,395

Growth:

Today I’m thankful for this practice. I’m feeling a bit frustrated with a project, a bit down about another, and like I didn’t live into my best self. Nothing terrible or anything, but not a five star day.

Closing up my day in thought about what I’m thankful for really helps point me in the right direction. Sure it wasn’t the best, but it is one I can grow from and get better because of.

Remember to pause, be grateful, and consider ways the tough stuff can become the fuel needed to grow better.

Appreciation:

Working on flooring with Dominic tonight was awesome. I was frustrated and he helped me get into the right headspace. It was super helpful having an extra set of hands who was willing to help. Greatly appreciated!!!

Presence:

Ahh…. Presence…. Tonight I was reminded of the double edged sword it can be. When I’m frustrated it is so easy to be present and get very upset. In one of those little mini fits tonight I almost lost my mind over two pieces of flooring that weren’t locking together like they were supposed to. While my blood pressure rose I realized I was 100% present and almost started laughing out loud.

I thought presence was always supposed to be a good thing and I started to question myself. Then I realized I could leave from this so even though it sucked it was still a good lesson.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,394

Growth:

Small projects are such a beautiful microcosm of life. In one simple project there are many lessons to be learned about leadership, communication, & the importance of clarity. With a preset constraint of a limited amount of time we get to see things unfold which normally happen over too long of a timeframe to notice.

Taking time to conduct a postmortem really helps us learn from the experience and grow as a result. What a gift!

Appreciation:

Even I get hooked on a great book I have a tendency to reread it several times. In each reading I catch subtle details I’ve missed. What really caught my attention today was a crossover between one of my favorite fictions and Awareness. In my earlier readings of The Wise Man’s Fear I’d done so without the benefit of having read Awareness first. The way the two books align was so startling I couldn’t help but wonder if the author had read the other.

No one steps in the sand river twice. Each time we reread or re-experience something it is done with a different viewpoint as before. We have changed since the first time. I’m thankful for rereading books to enjoy germ from a new perspective.

Presence:

With the roads coated in slushy, wet, and heavy snow I hopped on my bike trainer instead this morning and watched more of the Tetris movie. So enthralling to get a peak behind the scenes of late ‘80s Russia! Before I knew it my 45 minute ride was done – I’d gotten so into the movie that I didn’t realize how long I’d been riding… similar to the way I felt when playing Tetris back in the early 90’s!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,393 – quick one tonight, stayed up too late playing a game with the boys!

Growth:

Working on the flooring all weekend really gave me an opportunity to practice one of my favorite meditations… creating with my hands. So peaceful to have time spent building while also letting my thoughts wander in silence. Very rewarding and refreshing!

Appreciation:

Today was very thankful for my tools. Over the years and projects I’ve amassed a pretty decent workshop and it really helped me with finishing the flooring. So much easier to get work done with the right tools!

Presence:

While making a Menards run today I decided to do what Dad would gave done. I stopped off at a small deli and grabbed an Italian beef sandwich. Exactly what I needed during a project day!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,392

Growth:

Today I spent much of the day putting in our new flooring in the basement. It was very tedious and time consuming, but oddly soothing and relaxing. No stress, only slow and consistent activity as I worked through a bevy of challenges to figure out. Rather than get frustrated I reminded myself that this was something I enjoy doing, challenges and all, and it helped me keep a positive attitude. Funny how easy it is to smile and have a heart full of joy – even during difficulty – when we choose to.

Appreciation:

LuLu and I headed out to her favorite trail late in the afternoon when I needed to take a break from construction. While we were out there was no one else around, just us and the woods. We took our time walking, me observing nature, LuLu smelling it. At one point we were buzzed by a bald eagle who seemed to be checking us out.

Shortly after there was a little disturbance in the water and I stood still to see what was happening. Sure enough, a beaver slowly swam into view. I’d heard a sound earlier in our walk that was a big loud splash, I’m wondering if he splashed his tail at us on the walk out. He took his time and then paused and was focused intently on LuLu – who had no idea the beaver even existed as she kept moving from interesting smell to interesting smell. The beaver swam off eventually.

After the beaver we saw a single pelican trolling for fish in a small bay created by the flooding. From there my focus went to a woodpecker who was industriously pecking away at a dead tree less than 10 yards away from me at my eye level. It put on quite the display for us!

On the walk back I noticed a large lump on log which was almost submersed in the water. Sure enough, it was our beaver again! I again took some time to just chill and watch before he opted to swim away.

The walk wrapped up with a bright blue stand of spring flowers, what a treat!

Presence:

Standing in the woods alone with LuLu watching nature was incredible. Nothing in the world mattered in those moments, only the appreciation of all the wondrous gifts The Big Dude Upstairs has created. What an hour it was!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,391

Growth:

When we live into our purpose we have the opportunity to make positive ripples in the lives of others. Trust that you are making a difference even when – especially when – you don’t hear feedback. When you do get those little bits of feedback bottle them up as the fuel you need to encourage you to do more to live into your purpose.

Appreciation:

In Winona we spent much of the day in our office painting and moving workstations around. The change from our usual business opened a door to different conversations and interactions than were used to. Such a wonderful opportunity to get to know each other better while laughing a little louder.

Presence:

Watching the boys’ track meet tonight was a blast! The weather felt like late May and they boys seemed to be in late season form. So much excitement, so much fun!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,390

Growth:

As a leader, a dad, a friend – it can be difficult at times to know when to step in and take action and when to allow space to help others learn. Today I had the opportunity to be on both sides of the solution, one involved stepping in and the other involved stepping aside. Both are difficult, one isn’t necessarily easier than the other. I’m grateful for all the times people have been there for me stepping in or aside when that’s what I’ve needed. I’m just as grateful for all the times people did the opposite of what was needed as those were just critical in helping me learn.

Another reason to pause and think before I react – to consider if I should step in or step aside.

Appreciation:

I’m pretty sure I’ve written about something like this in past blogs, but it 100% is worth writing about again tonight. With as busy as life is for all of us in the Spring the weeknights when we’re able to eat supper as a family are truly a treat. Having all four of us around the kitchen table sharing a meal while talking about our day is amongst some of my favorite time in the world.

Not long ago it seemed we’d have kids in the house forever. Now it’s almost impossible to realize we only have another four months or so before Dominic leaves for school. Each meal together has been a gift, each becomes more and more precious.

Presence:

When talking about presence I’m often grateful for something I saw. Today it was a smell that totally grounded me in the present. I was driving home from the store and the smell of hot pavement totally caught my attention! Out of the blue I realized that the unusually hot weather made it smell like summer – how awesome???

Thanks!!!

Day 2,389

Growth:

When I look for something too intently I often miss what I should really be seeing. If I put too much focus on something specific it becomes easy to miss all the other things in the periphery.

Conversely, if I don’t focus I may see the big picture but may miss the little detail which makes all the difference. In going to wide I may miss the trees to the forests.

Balance, balance, balance. Maintain the awareness of knowing when to zoom in and when to zoom out. Notice when one is being overused and switch gear to the other. Balance. Both are right when used in tandem.

Appreciation:

As an example of the above, my most recent read has been a great example of the beauty to be found in knowing when yo zoom in and when to zoom out.

In the first few times I’ve read The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss I was laser focused on figuring out the plot and trying to anticipate where it was going. This time I’ve chosen almost the opposite, I’m sitting back and enjoying the story as it unfolds.

As I lay in bed each night my brain wanders back to the story, to the detail of the character interactions. In those moments I dissect their actions to see what lessons I can extract. One of the beautiful things about fiction is the psychology in a vacuum. I bore down into the details as I’d see how I can grow.

I zoom out to absorb and I see so much more than ever before, and then I zoom in and learn from the details. Balance.

Presence:

This afternoon I had the privilege of presenting to the one of the latest Express Leadership Academy classes on the topic of career pathing and teammate development. Having an opportunity to give back to the organization who’s had a profound positive influence on my life is something I’m very grateful for. I’m wanting to do right by all the participants I gave it my all and was rewarded with an awesome flow state of 100% presence. Those 90-ish minutes flew by in a flash yet I savored each.

Thanks!!!