At about 4:15 this morning I woke up and was thinking about my blog from yesterday. The concept of leaving a legacy, what does that legacy look like, and how can I better live it kept flowing through my brain. Try as I might to sleep, I just couldn’t get my brain to shut off.
This morning in training we started by thinking back to the conversation about legacy and again my brain was going in a million different directions.
During a couple of comments throughout the day I thought of my dad, I thought of my mom, and I thought of many of those who’ve had an impact on me in my life.
Trading stories at our table I couldn’t help but smile when I heard the story of the relationship of my partner and his dad. The legacy his father has left with him is etched in his words and actions, just as I’m sure his legacy will live on through his kids. Again, the concept of legacy was running rampant in my brain.
Normally I’d dive into a ton of detail on a day like today, but due to several reasons I really don’t feel comfortable sharing a ton of details. Let’s just say that there were many, many more moments throughout the day that had me thinking about the concepts of legacy.
What is the impact that I am leaving that will live on through others and linger for eons longer than the memory of me itself?
Today has been pretty awesome. One of those days in which I start to drift in thought and find myself being pulled into the gravitational pull of yesterday’s blog. Just a hunch, but I’m thinking it’s going to stick with me for quite some time… and for that, I’m thankful!
The first day of Express Leadership Academy started out with an incredibly thought provoking question – What is the legacy I want to leave behind? Let that sink in for a moment… What is the legacy that I want to leave behind?
Many times I try to line up the right picture for each blog and it is an easy connection to make. Today this is the picture that I had in my mind as I wrote. Both of my parents have had such an impact on who I am and the legacy that I want to leave that I couldn’t imagine a more fitting photo for today. 🙂
When I answer that question, what does that say about me and who I am as a person? With that question in the back of my head how would I change my behavior? If I focus on the legacy that I want to leave am I️ willing to put aside the distractions that get in the way to live a life that leads to that legacy?
If I’d been asked that question six months ago I would have answered it very differently than I did today. I would have focused on something that serves the greater good, but in a way in which people remember that it was MY legacy. My focus would be less on the legacy itself and more on how people would remember ME. I know, it probably sounds very egotistical – because it is – but it is very honest. Six months ago my legacy would have been all about me.
Don’t get me wrong, it would be about something having a positive impact on others… ME being a great dad… ME having a positive impact on others… ME helping people dream bigger… All of it with the intent that I am remembered for being that person who left the legacy. Actions to better others, but in order to make ME look better, to make sure that I am remembered and recognized. It’s humbling to admit this to anyone who reads this, but part of the reason I write this blog is to share the honest thoughts and emotions in my head and in my heart in a search to be closer to being who I should be.
Since Dad’s death I’ve taken much time to reflect on many things, death, legacy, and impact being some of them. It probably sounds morose, but I’ve found comfort in spending a few minutes in a cemetery once a week. Don’t worry, it’s not a cry for help or anything like that. The time I spend there reminds me of the temporary nature of life. I am only here for a very short period of time, I need to remember that fact, appreciate it, and live a life that I will be more than satisfied with when it’s my time to go.
In spending time in the cemetery I’m drawn to the grave markers and headstones. Some are grand and others are small and crumbling. Some have many footprints from recent visitors, but the majority appear to not have been visited for ages. When I think about the reason behind the marker it is often to remind people that we were here. “I existed,” is what they seem to scream desperately to anyone who happens to pass nearby. It is a way for us to leave a mark, to be remembered for being here. Sadly, at some point people will stop coming to the marker and the individual will be swallowed up and vanished in the great river of time.
The way my head was wired before was trying to be remembered for actions, deeds, and values. To have my name remembered and passed on. Going back to ancient times people have long fought to be remembered, to have their names passed on through ages, to never be forgotten. It’s almost as if we are able to find a way to cheat death by being remembered through time. If enough people remember me for long enough I’ll never actually die…. We will all be forgotten at some point. Our names may be passed on, but at some point the lines between fact and fiction will blur, and it’s only a shell of who we were that may be remembered. Hollow words forming the name of someone who’s been forgotten. Enough generations will go by and the memory of us is blown into the wind and disappears.
Thanks for cheering us up Kreiling, right??? I know, it sounds brutal, but it’s actually an incredible understanding that opens the door to joy. What is there really to live for if we are going to be forgotten in this life eventually? Simple, our legacy.
The definition of legacy that was offered up today was “the difference we make in the lives of others.” Our legacy is the lasting impact we have on others, positive or negative, that passes on from them to others. It is the ripple we leave in mankind as we live our life.
Our legacy is the act of kindness that we do that makes someone smile. That person is moved by that act of kindness and passes it on to a couple of more people. Those pass it on to others, and it spreads like wildfire. When you ask someone who inspired them to do that act of kindness they’ll share the story of the person who did that for them. They won’t even know who started the domino effect in the first place, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that someone committed the first act of kindness and it continues to be passed on.
Who started the action is irrelevant. What is most important is that it has created a ripple effect that has bettered the lives of many others. No credit needs to be taken, nor should any be given or asked for. We live to better each other, each future generation, and all of mankind.
When thinking of legacy in that way I am finally starting to see that the ego piece of my initial view of leaving a legacy is so wrong or misguided. At some point I will be forgotten on this world. I won’t even be a memory. It’s tough in some ways to let that soak in, but anything else would be a lie to myself. That said, I do want to leave a legacy. I want to live a life that makes a difference in the lives of others.
So what is the legacy that I can leave that will make a positive difference in the lives of others – now and in the future? I can be joyful and share that joy with others. Short, sweet, and simple. If I can live a joyful life and share that joy with others the world will be a slightly better place. My name won’t be remembered, I’ll still slowly fade after death, but I’ll have the peace of knowing that I’ve left a positive impact.
Keeping that in mind it is a great guiding principle to remember as I live my life. Am I living in a way that is joyful or am I too busy being stressed out? Am I being introverted and hoarding my joy to myself or am I actively seeking opportunities to bring joy to others? At the end of each day I can take time to reflect on that guiding principle and evaluate how I’ve done. What went well? What could I have done better? I’ll never be perfect at it, but I can continue to strive for perfection.
While the conversation on legacy today really helped me put some of these thoughts into words it’s the really work of much thought and consideration over the past six months that have led to this post today. I am so thankful for spending time deep in thought on the concept of leaving a legacy, it has brought me both peace and joy.
I know, this probably sounds a little crazy, but I’m a fan of travel days – for both work and pleasure. In the case of pleasure the reason is pretty obvious… I’m either going somewhere fun on vacation and Im excited to get there or it’s been an awesome vacation and I’m ready for a night in my own bed again.
The work travel day is great for a different reason entirely. When I have one coming up I start to pile up the little tasks that need to get done, but aren’t necessarily urgent. They start to add up a couple of weeks before heading out and once I’m in the airport I’m going to town. It feels great to knock them out one after another, and it’s easy to pause in between when I need to board, find my gate, etc…
Today was very much like that. Not only was I able to take care of the list I had, but I was able to make headway on a another couple of projects that I’ll need to spend more time on in the upcoming months. Knowing that I already have a jump start feels great!
Speaking of which, two more things to check off the list and then this old guy is off to bed.
Not gonna lie, there’ve been at least a dozen things I almost blogged about today. From our 4:30am run in the crazy cool fog with a sliver of a moon to a cozy sweatshirt (pretty sure you’ll hear more about that one in the future) to an unexpected reminder of Dad in a song that made laugh out loud to packing for two trips at once, there’s been so much to be thankful for. Even after 777 straight days of blogging about what I’m thankful for each day I’m still humbled and amazed at all I’ve been blessed with in my life.
Today we had Marlene Chism (and another of my awesome sisters from another misters – Heather Joyner) in Eau Claire to present on leadership to over 40 of our clients and fellow business leaders. As I’ve come to expect from Marlene, the presentation was fantastic!
What made the event even more special was that it was one of the first times my mom has been at an Express event. It was so awesome to see her in a different light. I’m so used to seeing her as “Mom” that it was pretty cool seeing her as a business professional. We talk work often on the phone, but it was just wild hearing her share stories side by side with me. It was AWESOME!!!
I’m also grateful that she had the opportunity to meet my work family in the Menomonie and Eau Claire offices. It was cool that they were able to quickly see where I get a lot of my personality from.
Over the past couple of months I’ve been noticing more and more how I have the people closest to me put into my paradigms of who they are based on my relationship with them. While this is how I’m used to seeing them I’m realizing that there is so much more to everyone. In this case she’s not just “Mom” she’s a business professional. It feels weird to see her in a different light like that, but it helps me appreciate her even more. Times like this remind me that I need to keep digging in deeper to really get to know the loved ones in my life better, not just the paradigm of them that I have in my head.
I’m so thankful to have had this extra time with my mom, the opportunity to learn alongside of Darlene the HR professional, and for the chance to get to know her a little better. It was a pretty sweet nexus of family and work life that I’m grateful to have had.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of preparation for being out on vacation in the not too distant future. Once I’m back there’s going to be a lot to do in order to get caught back up even though I’m prepping in advance. Travel is awesome, but the few days beforehand can feel rushed and chaotic. All of the busy is welcomed and appreciated, and in a weird way feels really excellent!
Today I was able to pause the feeling and enjoy a different sensation… spending some quiet time working in my workshop. Becky took the boys to a scouting event so I could get caught up on my insulation project. Unbeknownst to me the ringer of my phone was off and I never heard any texts or calls. I had the Packer game blaring on the radio and it was just me working on the workshop.
There were no thoughts of travel, no consideration of anything work related. I wasn’t mentally prepping for stuff with the boys, or coming up with crazy future plans. I was present in the moment, working on ceiling and listening to the Packer game. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, just the quiet calm of building something while the sounds of the radio kept my brain at ease. Pure quiet would’ve led to thinking, talking with others would’ve distracted me. The environment was perfect to get in the zone and just exist for a while, enjoying every moment, even laughing at myself when I screwed up. It was quiet, peaceful and calming, just what I needed.
I’m already jumping back into preparation mode, packing for this and that, and getting my thoughts wrapped back around work, but it all feels much better and less stressful after having some quiet time in my personal oasis, my workshop.
The past few weekends have been pretty awesome, filled with great times with friends. Many memories were made and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. The next several weekends are going to be spent on vacation, and I’m sure they will be pretty awesome.
Today was quite different, I was home with my family. I got over nine hours of sleep, woke up well rested. Before a run I was able to get many things packed for our trip and even put up some insulation in the garage. Becky and I got a run in and it felt awesome! After the run Dominic and I ran a couple of errands. I then spent some time alone putting in more insulation. After a while I had a couple of helpers in my workshop. A little while later I only had one, and Dominic was a huge help. He kept me company on our trip to Menards and then helped me put up the last of the insulation in the ceiling. Dominic and I then made supper for the family and we all chilled for some down time watching a movie (we’re working our way through the Harry Potter series… again).
It was a relaxing day, a productive day, and a great day at home with family. Nothing exceedingly epic, just an awesome normal day… and I am very thankful for it!
It started with a round of hot yoga after work, progressed into wings and beer, and wrapped up with a movie while chilling on the couch. Early bed, 9+ hours of sleep, and life will be even better.
Sometimes my blog doesn’t need much of an explanation. Sometimes less is more fitting. Today is one of those days.
I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would have been to lose Dad without having Nick walking beside me. Dude, you’ve helped me more than words can ever hope to say. I’m sincerely thankful to have you as my brother. This journey is much easier knowing that you’re walking it with me.
So much to be thankful for today, which do I go with? The great night of sleep? Becky having the flexibility to take Gavin to Urgent Care to take put a hole in the nail of a swollen finger? The excellent day of planning with my work team? The chance to reflect on a specific fault that I have to find ways to get batter at it? The fantastic performance of a teammate presenting? Seeing a huge red sunset? A home cooked meal with my family? A good conversation with my mom or a fun call with my little brother? Yes, there was much to be thankful for today, and I am very grateful for each of those things.
All of those in my head, I’m blogging about a goofy photo that was from exactly three years ago today that makes me smile… and, as usual, there’s more to the story…
This photo was taken while riding Expedition Everest in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The picture itself cracked me up when I saw it. We had already been on it several times so I had an idea of where the camera was, but I had no idea that the expressions on the other riders’ faces would’ve been so priceless! Every time I look at it I can’t help but smile. There’s so much more to this pic though…
It reminds me of fun vacations with our boys. This ride was so awesome and we had so many giggles riding it. The boys were absolutely in love with this ride, they enjoyed the ride, the background story and displays, and the whole Everest and yeti theme.
When looking at it I remember to not take myself so seriously. Life is short, have fun! Work hard, bust butt, and make good decisions, but when it’s time to play, enjoy and play hard. I hope the boys are learning that from watching Becky and I. It’s how we choose to live our lives – it can be very crazy and busy at times, but it’s well worth it when we find ourselves on vacation or traveling somewhere and making great memories.
This pic also reminds me of the magic we experienced while at Disney, the moments that they created for us as their guests. The band worn on our wrist that tracked which car we were in so it could take pics at the right time and then send them to us. The way we would walk past things and they would know our names. That magic was… well, it was magical! When I remember that magic I think of how can I bring that level of magic to what I do. What can I do to go out of my way to provide a truly magical moment for someone? When’s the last time I helped to create that magic for someone?
While the day was filled with many things to be grateful for (again, thanks to Becky for taking care of Gavin while I was out of town!), this goofy pic really reminded me of a lot today and gave me much to think about… and, most importantly, it put a huge goofy smile on my face.
Today was a great day with many of my Express cohorts. We met in Rochester for our annual planning retreat and spent the day sharing ideas, helping each other learn form our past successes and failures, and finding ways to be more successful in 2018. After the work portion was complete we had a excellent offsite event, playing laser tag and bowling. It was a wonderful end to day of planning.
To wrap the night up I pulled out my laptop and started typing. It’s been a week or two since I’d worked on my book, it felt wonderful to write again. As I write about the experience of losing my dad it brings back some tough memories and emotions, but it always leaves me feeling better. As the words form on my screen I feel a better understanding of the events, of myself, and life in general. It hurts at times, but I always feel more joyful after typing.
Reflecting back on the day I can see the connection between the first two paragraphs. Building our business takes steady progress, progress that often seems slow, but when I pause and look back on what we’ve created it’s pretty awesome! As I write the book about losing Dad it’s taking longer than I would’ve hoped, but I know that as long as I keep working at it, piece by piece – slow, but steady – it will one day be complete… and what an awesome feeling that will be!
