Day 781 – Thankful for Multiple Reminders of Dad’s Presence In the Past 24 Hours

Last night I received a very cool text message out of the blue from my friend Sammi.  She’d heard a song that a year and a half ago she had suggested I listen to after my dad passed away.  There was a sudden rush of memories and emotions as I thought about my dad.

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Several times throughout the day I had memories of hunting with my dad float in and out of my brain.  There were so many happy moments with him in the woods.  Seemingly every time I thought of the boys out with their Grandpa Ken my mind would wander back to those time with Dad.  From getting my first buck to shooting at a huge “bull elk” in Colorado to the laughter when he saw my scorched face on opening day after I’d done battle with my propane heater.  So many wonderful memories that are re-kindled with this hunting season.

While running to Menards I thought about all of the phone calls we shared while I made that same trek in the past.  When I bought something on sale I could hear him giving me a hard time about buying the cheap option.

In my workshop this afternoon I ran into a problem that pretty much spelled the end of a project I was working on, and not in a good way.  I swear I heard his voice in my ear, “deep breaths Mikey, time to take a break.”  Smiling to myself in spite of my frustration I put everything down and called it a day.  Even in that situation when several hours were erased with one small mistake I couldn’t help have a heart full of joy thinking about Dad.

What really did it tonight was a small and simple moment at church.  In the past I’ve talked about the gentleman at our church who looks very similar to Dad.  They have the same head, neck, ears, hair style, and some of the same mannerisms.  As everyone took communion I happened to notice him walking back to his pew.  Just as I saw him he looked at me and smiled…  and then his smile got a little bigger and he waved to me…  just like Dad would’ve done had he been there.  I know it wasn’t Dad, but at the same time I’m pretty sure he was there with me.  I quickly took a seat, drew a deep breath, and held back the emotions lest I started crying in the pew for seemingly no reason.

So many little reminders throughout the day, so many moments of happiness and joy.  I’m so thankful for all of the wonderful memories and moments I had with Dad.

Thanks!!!

Day 780 – Thankful for Dream Dissonance

Day 780 – Thankful for Dream Dissonance

Hey gang!  Two quick sidetones to start today’s blog.  First off, I usually start with a title and work my way forward off of that.  Today the title is currently blank and I’m going to go with the flow and see where this ends up 😉   Second, as I blog please keep in mind that I am being very honest and open as I write.  This sometimes means I share insights that may be surprising or cause nervousness in others.  Please note that I’m not planning on “just packing up and moving away” – I’m just sharing a portion of my inner dialogue.  With those two notes in mind…

I’m not really sure where the though initially came from this morning, but all of a sudden it was right there in front of me, staring me down.  While driving to work I found myself getting frustrated at the car in the right lane that would slow down until I was about to pass them on the left, they’d suddenly speed up and cut me off to go around a slower vehicle, and then repeat the process a couple of times.  Taking note of my increasing heart rate I took a deep breath, smiled to myself and fired up the song “Better Man” by Judah and the Lion.  It’s an awesome tune about trying to be a better person and it helped my nerves settle a bit.

Feeling much better after that song I skipped back a couple of songs on the album to a tune called “Stockholm.”  It’s one of my favorite songs on the album as it tells the story of going somewhere far away, falling head over heals with the new land, and never wanting to leave.  “I don’t know if I’ll ever make it home, if I’ll ever make it home…”  The traveler feels the land calling to him as his new home and he just wants to linger there forever.

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If past lives are truly a thing I can guarantee that I was Polynesian back in the day.  The ways I’ve felt about Hawaii and New Zealand mirror the song exactly.  When we were in Hawaii I was almost in tears realizing that I had to leave it as I sat outside alone on the second floor of the airport gate.  Becky and I’d spoken with a resident who’d moved there and we’d asked her how she knew it was the right place for her to stay.  She told the story of how she was literally sobbing as she boarded the plane to leave Hawaii after her third trip and realized that her home was Hawaii.  In the past three days I can think of at least half a dozen times I’ve somewhat joked about dropping everything and moving to Hawaii or New Zealand if Becky gave the green light.

I can already picture it in my mind so clearly…  A small home on the coast, just off the beach…  Working in a small workshop crafting puzzle boxes and other gifts to sell to tourists…  Taking time to hike, explore, and lose myself in the beauty of the world around me…  Ahh…  If I think about it just long enough I can smell the ocean air…

That seems like heaven to me, but is it really the right thing?  Is that where I should be?  And I think this is where I really get into what my blog is about today…  Being thankful for the friction, the rub, between my dreams.

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As perfect as that scene is (and trust me, it is perfect in my brain!) I am pretty sure that there’s another equally as perfect dream.  That one is right here, in Wisconsin.  I love this area and am continually in awe of the beauty of the bluffs, the power of the Mississippi River, and the awesome collection of birds and animals.  We’re close to family, close to friends, and in a city that’s just right for us, not too big, but not too small.  I freaking LOVE my career path.  I am over the moon with joy to be able to work with the teammates I work with.  The dream we are starting to create is INCREDIBLE!  There’s a very noble purpose in what we do and we very much live our values in how we do it.  Sure, it’s stressful as all get out at times and it’s incredibly hard work, but it is so rewarding I can’t even quite put it into words.  This life I am living, this dream I am living, is pretty much perfect as is and where it’s going.

So how do I balance two dreams at once?  Which one is the right one?  I can still feel the serenity, peace and joy I felt while in Hawaii and New Zealand…  but I can also feel the accomplishment, purpose, and joy in the moment living this life.  If I consider my purpose and legacy to be to live a joyful life and share that joy with others does one side win out more than the other?  It’s something that I struggle with on a regular basis.  Rather, it’s something that I consider on a regular basis.  This is where it might sound weird…

I truly love and appreciate the dissonance of these two dreams!  (and there’s the title for today)  Both of them are 100% the right dream to chase.  Yes, they are both perfect.  In knowing that they are both perfect I get to diagnose the why behind them.  Why do I love the serenity and peace in one and the purpose and accomplishment in the other?  Because they are both different parts of the one unified whole.  In order for me to find peace and serenity I need to first feel purpose and accomplishment.  In order for me to find purpose and accomplishment I need to first feel peace and serenity.  Both dreams must be present at once for me to be the best version of me.

Knowing that I will bust ass in order to find quiet on vacation reminds me to enjoy the grind.  The quiet of vacation recharges me and leaves me missing the grind that is missing.  As I’ve started to come more and more to grips with this it also leaves me struggling a bit with things like the idea of retirement…  How will that next stage fit if I don’t have the work to help me appreciate the play?

I know a few friends who struggle greatly with this concept.  They think that there is one right answer that they should pursue.  The thought is that only one can be right.  If only one is right please God let me be wrong!  The magic is in finding how to get the opposing dreams compliment each other, work with each other, and fit together.  I appreciate this dream dissonance because it also forces me to find ways to live them both at once.  It pushes me outside of my comfort zone and think creatively about how to live them both at the same time (crazy ideas like opening Express offices in New Zealand!).  If I didn’t take time to appreciate the friction I would choose only one, live a life of mediocrity, and miss out on half of the awesomeness.  Which really makes me wonder, have I settled too low with only having two crazy dreams?  What if I attempted this with three or four?  How much more joyful could my life be?

As you can see, this has been rolling my brain for quite some time.  Full disclosure, I still sometimes struggle to appreciate the rub between these two dreams and sometimes wish to have just one of them.  Days like today remind me that when that sensation comes over me I need to remember to appreciate the dream dissonance because that’s where the magic and joy really live.

Thanks!!!

Day 779 – Thankful for Lunch with My Friend – Jenn Davis

Funny how yesterday I talked about spending some time with my friend JC and now today I had the opportunity to grab lunch with another friend?  Can’t wait to see who I get to talk with tomorrow! On a cool fall day like this hanging out with an old friend is like that putting on that most comfortable sweatshirt to keep you warm.

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Even though we haven’t talked but a couple of times over the four months or so we were able to jump right back into old conversation.  It was awesome catching up with what she’s been up to, her new career, and what’s coming up in the future for her.  Likewise it was like old times as I updated her on how the offices were doing, what Becky and I are up to, and all that type of stuff.  As we talked it was wild to think about how much time has passed since she’s left Express, yet it only seems like it’s been the blink of an eye.

It’s weird not working with her anymore, but I’m so happy that she’s doing so well in her new position.  I’m thankful for being able to continue the friendship we built through many years of working together.  I could go on and on, or you could just read what I wrote about her a while back when she moved on to Winona Agency – https://thankful4forty.com/2018/06/02/day-613-thankful-for-my-friend-jenn-davis/

Jenn, thanks for lunch, great conversation and catching up, and your friendship.  I appreciate you greatly and am glad that our paths still cross sometimes!

Thanks!!!

Day 778 – Thankful for a Wonderful Video on Empathy, a Great Meal, and Catching Up with My Friend JC

Whew, what a whirlwind of a day it’s been! I’m now laying in bed with a full belly ready to wake up early and go for a run before 4:30. I am exhausted, but in all good ways.

Today I had a couple of reminders of a wonderful video about empathy. Though I’ve watched it several times it seems to hit me hard every time I watch it. Seriously, check it out before you go to bed tonight, it is well worth it! https://youtu.be/cDDWvj_q-o8

This evening we had a retirement dinner for Becky’s boss and it was awesome!!! Each round of food was better than the previous and it culminated in delicious airy donuts with lemon curd. I’m totally full right now and my tastebuds are still smiling.

Another great benefit of the night was catching up with my friend JC. We don’t have too many opportunities to hang out and it was fantastic to catch up with him. It’s always great to pick his brain on several topics and this time around I walked away with a couple of TV recommendations, a travel idea, some rekindled interest in genealogy, and some La Crosse history. As always I enjoyed the time catching up with him and shooting the bull. He’s the type of friend I could see a few times a week or once every few years and we’d jump right into conversation like we’d just talked the day before. There’s something pretty sweet about a relationship like that and I appreciate it greatly!

Time for bed for this old guy!

Thanks!!!

Day 777 – Thankful for Ability of Life to Provide Us Exactly What We Need and Remembering Why We Do This

 This morning I had a very difficult phone call with an Express applicant.  The individual wasn’t eligible for hire and decided that getting angry and upset would be the way to convince me otherwise.  As he got more and more belligerent he then opted for calling my team and I some hateful things that we are definitely not.  After trying several times to calm him down I was finally left with no option but to hang up on him.  Upon getting off the phone I was so angry and frustrated with him and the way he’d treated my team and I.  For one fleeting moment I allowed myself a pity party and then moved forward with letting it go and moving on.

Earlier this afternoon Cheryl pulled me aside and asked if I would like to hear the story of an applicant who’d just interviewed with Claire, one of our Employment Specialists.  Of course I said yes and met this applicant.  They shared with me that he’d been homeless for the past 110 days, he’d just spent an hour in an interview with Claire, and he was starting a new job tomorrow.  He was over the moon with gratitude and joy and shared how his shoulders felt like a giant weight had been lifted.  We made sure we took extra good care of him after hearing this story and the happiness he felt was obvious as he gave me a handshake and a big hug.  My heart is still full of joy to the point that it’s ready to burst.  This is one of the reasons why I love this career path so much.  To have the opportunity to help and serve others as they face some of the most difficult times in their life is an honor that I appreciate and am thankful to take on.  My teams pride themselves on helping others and a story like this is a wonderful reminder of why we do this.

How interesting is it in the span of only three hours I was able to see the full spectrum?  While I could have allowed myself to wallow in the frustration of the first person and lose faith in mankind, it would have served no purpose and I might have missed out on a beautiful opportunity like this.  Had I not had the difficult conversation earlier would I have appreciated the happy conversation later?  I’m so thankful to have had both conversations in such a short period of time. At the end of the day it’s also a wonderful reminder to me that life will happen all around me.  There is no bad or good to the challenges themselves, just the context I apply to them.  I have the power to choose my attitude on a minute to minute basis – whether being frustrated and losing faith, or seeing the overwhelming positivity, learning opportunity and happiness in the world.

Thanks!!!

Day 776 – Thankful for a Seasonal Reminder of My Dad

Day 776 – Thankful for a Seasonal Reminder of My Dad

It’s funny how this blog works.  Somedays I’ve got an idea of what I’m thankful for based on a couple of events early in the day and I start mentally writing the blog post.  The funny thing is that I only end up writing that post about 50% of the time.  About half the time something else pops into view that draws my attention and I can’t help but write about that instead.  Today was definitely one of those days!

I initially was going to write about being thankful for seeing so many parallels between all of our lives.  The focus was on seeing how interwoven we all are and how we go through many similar challenges and adventures.  Sure, they’re all different in their own ways, but there are so many similarities amongst us all and it’s amazing to see what we can all learn from each other if we just take the time to listen and ask questions of each other.  It was going to be this big and robust blog that was super deep until…

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During a conversation with a teammate we discussed prepping for this upcoming deer season.  As he shared how he’d spent the weekend walking the land he’d be hunting on for the first time I couldn’t help but smile and think back to my dad.  We spent so many days out in the woods prepping for hunting season.  He’d take me out through the swamps and forests looking for just the right places to set up our stands and bait.  As we walked he’d talk about the land and what was all around us.  Often we’d just walk quietly and soak it all in.  I can still clearly remember some of the smells of fresh pine in the woods.  We’d spend the entire day wandering and soaking in the outdoors.  It was time for me to hang out alone with my old man, and I’m so thankful for his company.  Those moments live on in my memory forever and bring me so much joy.  I’m so thankful for those wonderful times I had with him.

Interestingly enough, Becky pointed something out to me last night.  Part of Gavin’s Weblos homework is to keep a list of at least one good deed he did for someone each day for 30 days.  She showed me the one he wrote for Friday and I couldn’t help but chuckle and think of how much my dad would’ve appreciated what he wrote…  “Keeped my old man company.”  I am thankful for that time with Gavin and hope that at some point after I’m long since gone he occasionally has reminders of the time we’ve had together just like I have with my dad.

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Thanks!!!

 

Day 775 – Thankful for Church, Clean Ups, Projects, Games, and Other Great Excuses for Family Time

Today’s been another non-stop day, but one filled with much time with family.  As I look back on the day it’s almost a blur of going from one activity to the next, but I’m smiling and enjoyed so much of it.  In the overwhelming majority of the tasks ad events I was able to spend it with my family and that felt wonderful!

The family time started as we all loaded up and headed out for church and had time together in the car and in the pews.  After church Gavin had Sunday school and Becky was heading to Rochester to see a friend which left Dominic and I cruising through Menards to pick up supplies to paint the workshop.  It was fun doing math with him and walking through the steps and materials needed for this project.  We also had time to talk about life in general.

After lunch Gavin headed up to the workshop with my to help me make the trash picks that we would use later in the day for his Weblos project.  We spent time, just the two of us, talking through the design and working on them together.  After a while Dominic joined us and we realized we had a little extra time so the three of us started putting up the first coat of primer on the ceiling.

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Realizing what time it was we hurried to dress in warmer clothes and headed out to Nelson Park to do a service project for Weblos.  It was a pretty unique opportunity for both boys as Gavin needed to do a project like this to help him earn his Weblos badge and Dominic took the lead in the project to help him with Boy Scouts.  A handful of other Scouts showed up and we spent over an hour cleaning up the garbage at the park.  Again, it was a project, but it was a wonderful reason to spend time with the family.

Gavin had a wonderful idea to wrap up the night – a family game of Catan!  There were ups and downs for all of us as we laughed, competed, and had a great time with each other.  How awesome, spending time as an entire family to wrap up a great weekend.

As I get ready to head off to bed I’m so thankful for all the reasons / excuses I had to spend so much time with my family tonight.  It was incredibly refreshing and just what the doctor ordered!

Thanks!!!

Day 774 – Thankful for Starting the Morning with Our New Tradition and Learning Some Interesting La Crosse History

Last week’s alternate solution which included knocking out a couple of workouts on a Saturday morning date has stuck. This morning our alarm went off early and Becky and I were off to the YMCA and Root Down for cycling and yoga. It felt awesome to start the day off with a great couple of sweats before getting into the other weekend stuff! Even better, it was pretty sweet to start the day with some time with Becky! 😁

To wrap up the night (besides our trip to the grocery store) we headed to The Pumphouse to watch The Dark La Crosse Show. It was a play waking through a handful of interesting stories from La Crosse’s sordid history. The stories were crazy, hard to believe, and very entertaining. Some were a little serious while others left us literally LOLing! If you have the opportunity to head out to see it I’d highly recommend it.

Today’s been a great date, lots of time with Becky and some workshop time. Tomorrow will be a lot of time with the boys and I’m pumped for that as well.

Thanks!!!

Day 773 – Thankful for Being Back Home Chilling on the Couch Watching Mountain Movies with My Family

LOL – pretty specific, right?  But the title nails it in a nutshell.  After a busy and productive week of work it feels great to be back at home.  Dominic has a buddy over for a sleepover and they’re hanging out in the basement.  Meanwhile I’m chilling with Gavin and Becky on the couch and just enjoying some time together while watching a visually stunning movie about the beauty and allure of the mountains.  Time together talking, enjoying the awesomeness of nature, and dreaming new dreams together…  Life is pretty awesome!

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Thanks!!!

Day 772 – Thankful for My Friend, Karen Gilbert

Isn’t it great when you have the opportunity to spend time with someone you look up to, a friend, and a kindred spirit all at the same time?  I’ve had time today and will have more time tomorrow to do just that!  In order to help train a handful of relatively new teammates Karen dropped everything she has going on to fly up from OKC to help my teams and I out.  Ever since I picked her up from the airport this morning I’ve been laughing, smiling, and thinking in her presence.

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As one of our trainers at Express HQ she does a phenomenal job of helping our teammates learn the Express process and philosophy.  At one point today she brought something up that totally blew my mind – even though I’m closing in on a decade of being in this business!  There were many lightbulb moments in the room today as she walked us through several tactics and concepts.  Karen’s training ability leaves me in awe and I respect her style greatly.  She opens herself up, is humble, but also exudes a strong confidence as she shares from past experiences, both good and rough.  While sitting in her trainings I catch myself vacillating between learning what she is teaching and learning more about training and presenting.  I’m looking forward to Round 2 tomorrow.

As great of a trainer as she is I’ve got to say that I’m just as thankful for her personality, energy, and spark.  She’s a down to earth, no nonsense individual who calls as she sees it, all while doing it in a way that keeps my laughing, smiling, and thinking.  Karen always is running at an 11 and it feels great to try to keep up with her!  Her mind is constantly in motion and I’m amazed at how many different conversations the two of us can have at the same time… and even go back to and wrap up after going in other directions.  I’d dare anyone to spend more than a couple of minutes with her and honestly say that they aren’t happier after the encounter.  Karen leaves a trail of happiness in her wake and I’m so thankful for the time with her today.

At the end of the day, Karen is one of those people that I feel is a kindred spirit.  In spending time with her I feel like I’m spending time with a wiser sibling.  Even if it’s been a while since we’ve last spoken we jump right back into conversation as if we talked every day.  What’s even more impressive to me is the fact that pretty much every single person I’ve talked with who’s had the opportunity to get to know her feels exactly the same!  She does an amazing job of connecting with others, getting to know us, caring for us, bringing us much happiness and laughter, and always leaving all of us in a better mood because we crossed paths with her.

Karen, thank you for the amazing help, your willingness to head up (in the snow and cold) to help us all out with less than a week and a half notice, and for bringing so much joy and happiness to my teammates and I today.  You’re a wonderful friend and I appreciate you greatly!

Thanks!!!