Maybe you know the feeling? You prep for a conversation and as you do you realize that maybe the other party is out to get you. Maybe they want to start a fight or have unrealistic expectations.
I’m sad to admit that as I prepped today this is immediately where my brain went. Thinking about the worst case scenarios I got myself all types of worked up, and then dreamt up even more elaborate plots! It was terrible!
At one point I paused and this insight flashed in my brain… maybe it will go very well… maybe we are going to work this out… as I contemplated this I went through the positives I could expect from this encounter. Maybe they weren’t “out to get me,” and we’d have s very positive conversation.
As I began the conversation I was very calm and optimistic. I was assuming the best, and I had already prepared for the worst should it come to that. And guess what? The conversation went fantastic! Had I started from assuming the worst I truly believe there would have been a very different outcome.
While it’s good to prepare for the worst I know I still need to work on assuming the best as my first response. That’s definitely a gap between who I am and who I want to be. All that said, in very thankful that I remembered to assume the best of intentions, it truly served me well today.
Earlier this afternoon my left eye started to burn a little bit. It was the second time in a week that I felt the old familiar sting. As the afternoon continued, so did the slight tingling. Once I got home it started to flare up even more. It wasn’t until the main event of Yoga Date Night that it finally subsided. While it never really hurt it was mildly annoying. Regardless, I am very thankful for my left eye today
So what gives, why am I thankful for a burning tingly left eye? It’s my early warning system, my Check Engine light. When my stress level goes up a little higher than normal for an extended period of time my left eye starts to flare up. It starts as itchy, tingly and burning, but if I don’t take a deep breath soon it fires up into a full blown eye infection that requires a couple of doc appts and a couple of weeks with glasses and no contacts.
The past couple of weeks have been jam packed, definitely not all bad or stressful, but it’s been pretty much non-stop. There’s a handful of projects piling up that I need to take care of and a couple of other things adding some extra challenges to my plate. Fortunately, it’s all in the short term and as of next week I have some slack time built in to get caught up on my projects. This weekend has some things to get done, but nothing too crazy. Slow it down for the weekend, hit the projects hard next week, and I’m right back on track. I’ve got the game plan all laid out and ready to roll, life is good. By tomorrow morning when I wake up my eye will be back to normal… as long as I remember to keep a little slack in my schedule.
One of my mentors, some crazy long haired dude who is often found in cargo shorts on a beach in Belize, taught me a while back that it was important to build some extra time into my schedule and not jam up every free moment with stuff. While I normally remember and respect that lesson, I’m thankful that my left eye reminds me of it when I try to forget it. Without that tingling eye I’d probably end up burying myself too deep and get off balance. Thanks Left Eye!
While driving home today I had a great conversation with my mom and was listening to Marlene Chism’s audiobook Stop Workplace Drama. Filled with the ideas from talking with Mom and intermingling them with a concept Marlene brings up about growth and the occasional fear of it I had a vision pop in my head. It was so insightful that I had to pause the audiobook and think on it for a while. No, I wasn’t having “a vision” so much as I saw a visual of a metaphor from a while back.
In one of Jim Collins’ books he shares a rock climbing experience in which he is trying to make a climb on his first attempt. As he works his way up he gets to a point where he gets stuck and the rock is a little loose and crumbly. His adrenaline pumping he does the natural thing and grips harder… which tires him out and causes more rock to crumble. He gets more nervous and grips even harder onto the evermore fragile rock. It feels right, its the natural reflex. In reality, the best move he could have made was to relax, loosen his grip a bit, drop down a little, and determine a new path. The end goal is still the same, the route to it needs to be changed slightly. He should have loosened his grip and shifted his focus.
This story has stayed in my brain many years and it is what I try to visualize when I need to pause and take a deep breath. When something isn’t going as planned I pause and think, “should I loosen my grip and shift my focus?” This thought usually helps me to take a deep breath and usually make the right decision.
Today this story hit me for a different reason. As I think about how much I’ve grown professionally over the past year and how much further I have to go I’m starting to realize that this story will be in my head a lot. While I hate to think it I know I can be a micromanager and I like to see things get done the way I want them done. The past six months have been filled with one lesson after another of successes when I’ve loosened my grip and shifted my focus. This past year I’ve been focusing more and more on our vision and values. As I’ve shifted my focus slightly it means that I have to loosen my grip. My team members have proven time after time that they will not only be successful without me, they are showing me just how much I’ve been in their way! Just today there were several times I so badly wanted to jump in and do it “my way,” but held back… and then smiled as they did something better and greater than I would have. It was AWESOME!!!
I’ve wasted so much time trying to do everything, it’s amazing how I can let go and my team takes us further. I know, I know, that is pretty much Leadership 101, but I can be a slow learner. Had I only taken Jim’s advice more seriously, where would we be now?Better late than never, right???
There’s another level to it. How often in life do I try to take control in a situation? How often to I grip tightly onto what I’m used to as opposed to relaxing and shifting my vision to a different route to my goal? With the boys do I hold them back too often when I should give them more freedom? Pretty sure I need to keep this lesson top of mind, there are many times it might help.
Slow as I might be, forgetful as I am, today I’m glad that I remembered to loosen my grip and shift my focus.
One of the things that I hold closest to my heart and being is going out to experience the natural world and all its wonders. Fortunately I’ve got the best travel buddy in the world, Becky, and we’ve worked hard to set ourselves up to experience some pretty awesome things.
Four years ago today was one of the most awesome natural experiences I’ve ever had in my life… we hiked across the lava fields and found a spot where lava was slowly pouring into the ocean.
It was so amazingly beautiful! I’m so thankful that I took it all in so well that when I close my eyes and concentrate on it I can see it crystal clear and smell that uniquely wonderful lava smell.
When I got home tonight Dominic and I were the only two Kreilings who hadn’t been sick in the past 12-24 hours. While Gavin wasn’t able to go to Scouts tonight Dominic said he’d go with to help out with the pack meeting.
As soon as I got home I grabbed Dominic and we were off! Before Scouts we had to run to Walgreens. After a short wait we found out that we had gone to the wrong one so we picked up some snacks (Warhead Worms and Hot Tamales!) and drove to the other Walgreens. From there we headed to Scouts and had fun helping a little bit here and there. After Scouts we shot over to Home Depot to pick up my new bandsaw and had fun with the crew as they loaded it up in the car for us. After we got home Gavin and Becky went to bed and the two of us just chilled for a little while.
The activities of the night itself wasn’t overly exciting, but I wouldn’t trade the time with him for anything. We didn’t get into any deep or serious conversation, we just shot the bull about what we’d done for the day, what he was learning in school, stuff like that. The little stuff. The stuff that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Often I try to build something up and make it a crazy plan (see the “Weekend of Pizza” from previous posts). More often than not I need to remember to appreciate these little pockets of one on one time with him. I still look back fondly on times like that with parents when I was growing up. Not everything has to be a huge ordeal or an elaborate plot, sometimes the best things are the most spontaneous and normal moments of our lives. I really just love spending time with Dominic, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing, it just matters that we are doing it together.
Nope, we’re not in Hawaii, this just popped up from four years ago today while we were at Hapuna Beach on the big island and I like the picture of us as a couple.
As this weekend winds down to a close (just like the Packers’ season) I had to pause for a moment to be thankful for the way that Becky and I both encourage each other to have more weekends with our friends. I’m very appreciative of not only her willingness to let me head out of the town for the weekend to hang with my friends, but she also encourages me to do it often. She’s been incredible that way and it’s helped me to do the same for her.
We both love our time together, take a look at the smiles on our faces in the pic above, but we also both appreciate just how important it is to have our time apart with our friends. Every weekend like this I don’t say it enough, I really am grateful for the way we encourage each other to spend weekends with our friends.
Oh yeah, the weekend of reliving college years is in full swing! I’m typing this at a table filled in pizza boxes, empty soda cans, several varieties of chips, and a lot of geeky gaming supplies as my friends are strewn across the living room watching each other play video games.
True to many a weekend while in college a short 18+ years ago we started out with a lively day/night of going to breweries, eating and having a couple of drinks at one of our old haunts, and staying up late talking in a bar. As was the norm back in the day today has been relatively chill as we all recuperate. In the past it was usually a little bit of a hangover holding me back, now at 40 it’s due to my body not liking the short night of sleep and total change to diet I’ve had in the past 24 hours.
This afternoon and evening we’ve gone back to our typically nerdy ways and have been playing a ton of games and chilling while talking some smack, though significantly less than yesterday.
In many ways it feels like I just went back in time a couple of decades. We’ve jumped right back into our old jokes and traditions just like it was the late ’90s. Back in the day I thought that we were almost living the dream in a weekend like this. Today I realize that while I am having a blast and enjoying the time with the guys it is a welcome respite to reality. I’m having a lot of fun but in the back of my head I’m missing Becky and the boys. There’ll be plenty of time for me to spend with them soon, but as compared to wishing weekends like this would last forever I’m realizing that I now love them as a chance to spend a moment with my great friends, my brothers.
Soon I’ll be home and back to my reality, one that I truly consider living the dream, but for these past couple of days it has been awesome to go back to living the college days with my friends (and kind of feel like I’m living in an episode of Big Bang Theory!).
About four months in the making, the time has come. Challenges have been offered, challenges have been accepted. Plans have been made, changed, changed and are now set. Insults have been hurled, mud has been slung, and it’s time to back up the talk. Time to live up to the hype.
This weekend a small handful of my best friends and I will get together for a weekend of awesomeness. There is no question that this will be one of those times that reality absolutely crushes the high expectations.
Over the past week there’ve been several hundred emails exchanged and it’s been like an awesome extension of the weekend. I’m sure I’ll be thankful for this weekend in a future post, but today I’m thankful for the anticipation of it. Getting primed and ready has me smiling like a crazy twenty year old and the past week has been like a few bonus hours of time together.
While the craziness will be very tame compared to our younger days I can’t wait for the weekend to begin!!!
From the point that Becky woke me up to the point that I’m typing this in Kathy’s massage chair it has been a pretty epic day. There’s been so much to be thankful for that I keep starting to type, then pause, then delete, then start to type, pause, delete, repeat…
There’ve been a lot of good things like getting a warmer weather run in with Becky early in the morning. Seeing team members show strengths that help our team move forward. A conversation that blew my mind and got more seeds of dreams planted (I am pretty sure some of them have already taken root!). There were many moments of happiness with team members, so many reasons to be so proud of them. A fun and unexpected conversation with a mentor on the ride home. A humorous and perfectly timed text string with another mentor. A little bit of quiet time to be lost in thought and start planning on how to make dreams reality. A few minutes at home alone with Dominic to shoot the bull. Hundreds of texts with friends prepping for our epic weekend. Hanging out with Kathy as she cuts my hair (all 12 of them!). Laughing at Gavin’s comments while he gets his hair cut. Knowing that I’ll be at home snuggled up with Becky soon.
While there’s been a lot of awesome to be thankful for there’s also been some tough things. Something happened that reminded me to give my boys an extra hug and have a conversation with them about some more grown up topics when they get a little older. I’m thankful that I have them in my life and that I have the time to have that conversation with them.
I helped out in an office and tagged in as the front desk person for a while. It was totally out of my comfort zone, caused me to fall behind in other projects, and reminded me that it is the role I am least suited for. I’m very thankful to have stepped into that role today, it helped me see our business from the eyes of my teammates, a perspective I sometimes miss, misunderstand, or don’t fully appreciate. This experience will stick in my brain for a long time and help me work better with my team and I’m grateful for that.
So while there were many ups and a few downs there were many reasons to be thankful – so many that they get rolled into one blog! 😉
I really enjoy the feeling of my personal successes. It’s pretty awesome to stand on top of a mountain of an accomplishment and look at all the hard work that I’ve put in to make the success happen. That said, today was filled with a different type of happiness that has been cooler than my own personal accomplishment… The successes of my teammates. In two cases in particular (though there were more than just these two) really stuck out for me.
Nicole has been busting her butt trying to get a very large new account in Rice Lake. As of this morning she found out she had won it. She called me up and was incredibly pumped!!! It was so rewarding to hear the sheer excitement and bliss in her voice as shared the good news. I just sat back and smiled, listening with pride in every word she said.
Later in the day I was able to jump on a zone-wide training call with over 100 participants. To kick off the call Carolyn was asked to share her Express story and brag up what her team has accomplished over the past year. Her passion and excitement for what she has done was very clear to all of us on the call. She’s not one to brag, but you could hear the pride she has for her team and their successes in her voice as she answered the moderator’s questions. I just sat back and smiled, listening with pride in every word she said.
In both of these cases I had to fight back a tear of pride, I am so happy for them in their accomplishments. It was particularly rewarding as I know how incredibly hard they’ve both worked to to get there. They’ve both put in tremendous time and energy to reach their achievements, they’ve both made sacrifices to achieve. I found it very fitting that a little while back Nicole shared one of my all time favorite quotes, the one below:
Thank you also to all of my other teammates that had a positive impact in my day today through their successes: Katie, Angie, Leanne, Rebecca, Jenn, Nicole, Autumn, and Sammi. While you may not have thought much about something that you did today, you all put a smile on my face for one reason or another today and for that I am grateful.
To circle back to where I started, I really enjoy it when I am successful. My heart is filled when I see the successes of my teammates.
