Tonight I had the opportunity to chill with some business partners and friends.  We’d spent the majority of the later afternoon and early evening talking shop and then chilled by playing cards and kicking back and shooting the bull.  As I kick back and reflect on the night there are moments and comments that still have me smiling, and that’s what got me thinking.

So many of my favorite memories with friends weren’t anything too crazy, they were nights sitting around a table playing cards or some other game together.  Sure, the game is what we start the focus on, but then it quickly shifts to telling stories, shooting the bull, joking around, and having a great time with friends.  By the time the night’s over it rarely has anything to do with the game anymore, it’s all been about the time with each other.  It was also a reminder to me that I need to bust out the cards more often as opposed to staring at a screen to close up a night.

After playing cards I went out to the car to grab a couple of things and saw about a dozen lightning bugs floating in the air flashing on and off to each other.  While that got the memories going it was also the combination of the moist air on a summer night that immediately had me thinking about the times as a kid when Nick and I would catch them while at Grandma and Grandpa’s house during the summer.  All we needed was a screen tent, a Brewer game on the radio, and butter pecan ice cream and it would have been perfect.  It was a moment that lasted only a few seconds, but it brought back a huge wave of wonderful memories.

Thanks!!!

My Father’s Day started off with a pretty awesome gift from the boys (& Becky) – a rock tumbler!  Can’t wait to use it 🙂  While that was a pretty sweet gift the best gift by far was the amount of time I had with each of the boys throughout the day.

At church there was the normal prayer for dad’s and it left a little mist in my eyes.  Gavin  saw me (and possibly had a little inspiration from Becky) and came over and gave me a big hug.  After a while he whispered to me, “Dad, I’m sorry you don’t have someone to say ‘Happy Father’s Day’ to this year,” and then he gave me another hug.  Talk about giving me the feels!

After lunch we headed out on the pontoon to chill.  Usually I use it as some time kick back and soak in some sun while reading, but this time I kept focused on the boys.  We played catch with various balls and equipment and then followed it up with some time goofing around on the floats.  Almost the entire time we were joking, laughing, and giggling.

Becky had to run Gavin to the store for dress clothes so Dominic and I took advantage of the quiet moment and fired up a game of Commander together and had a blast!  Once Gavin and Becky were home the boys and I fired up “Destroyer” a card game designed by Gavin.  Again we had so much fun just playing a game and spending time together.

All in all I couldn’t have scripted a better Father’s Day.  It was filled with the one thing that I wanted more than anything the year, time with my boys.

Thanks!!!

Dominic is back from almost a week of vacation with a bunch of his classmates to visit DC. It’s been awesome having my buddy home again! We just went through his pictures and got to see some of the stuff he experienced. While it was awesome to hear him talk about it and to see he pics I’m pretty sure that the vacation hangover he’s suffering through makes me smile biggest.

It’s clear to see that he had an excellent time touring around DC and I’m pumped that he vacationed so hard that this was how he spent most of the afternoon.

Dominic, we’re so glad you had such an awesome time in DC, and it’s clear your truly vacationed like your mom and I.

Thanks!!!

Pretty sure there’s no explanation needed for this post… we went out for ice cream at The Pearl. Becky and Gavin went for double scoops on waffle cones while I had the taste of summer… a Coconut Caramel and Cappuccino Oreo malt.

Ahh…

Thanks!!!

Ahh… the simple joys in life… going for a leisurely bike ride with the family (all of us who are not currently touring Washington DC anyway 😉). Getting fresh air in the lungs was relaxing and peaceful, a great way to wrap up activity for the evening.

Along the way I also had a realization that had me smiling probably just as big as I did the first time I did it a few decades ago… I can ride my big with no handlebars! This 41 year old middle aged dude can still ride with no upper body connection to the bike. I was nervous to try and once I did all cane back to me so quickly. Nothing like feeling like a kid to being even more joy on a Thursday night.

Thanks!!!

Nothing too crazy tonight which really fits the mood of the evening.  When I got home form work Becky had a plate of supper ready for me to eat on the go as we took Gavin to his logrolling class.  I quickly shucked off the work attire and busted out shorts and a t-shirt and was out the door.

As soon as Gavin jumped in Becky, Kelsey and I took off and headed off on the trail along the river.  Being outside, getting fresh air, moving, and spending time with friends felt like about the most summer evening thing I could do tonight and it was AWESOME!!!

Thanks!!!

It’s funny how this blog thing works sometimes. On my drive to work this morning I had and idea and started to write it in my head. Over lunch I started typing it up, but it just didn’t quite feel right. The writing was fine and all, but it just didn’t quite seem to fit as well today as I’ve come to expect after 989 straight days of blogging. It was very deep, serious, and introspective, but it was just off a little.

As the day went on there was another vibe I was getting but I couldn’t quite nail down what it was. It wasn’t until after getting home and eating dinner with Becky that the real thing I’m thankful for today was right under my nose. It was so simple, I can’t believe I missed it as long as I did! Funny how sometimes I find that when I stop looking so hard to find something and I finally let go of the search that I collide right in what I had been searching for all along.

Throughout the day I’d occasionally think about Dad’s death a year ago today. That thought would only linger for a moment and was then quickly replaced with a happy memory. In some cases they were memories from when I was a kid, in others it was in the days and weeks shortly after he’d passed. Some memories were super happy, others funny, and some serious. At random moments I’d hear something, even just a word and a memory would pop in and bring a smile to my face. All day long I was surrounded by happy memories of my dad, my family, and my friends. It was beautiful.

The only thing that even compares to the happy memories was all the love I felt from so many friends and family. An extra hug here, a text there, a conversation somewhere in between, and a random joke or two thrown in and there was no way I could avoid strong feelings of love from so many. If at any point I didn’t have a memory bouncing in my head making me smile there was surely a whole lot of love I felt from so many.

So here I am, a year after my dad’s death and I’m grinning from ear to ear, feeling so much joy thanks to so many people and so many happy memories! I wish he was here to share the day with him and I’d give almost anything to have one more day with him, but I’m sure he’s smiling from up above. Odds are he might’ve pulled a few strings to help me out today.

To each and everyone who knowingly (& in some cases unknowingly) contributed to my joy today through memories and love – thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate each of you and am so grateful to have you in my life!

Thanks!!!

After log rolling tonight I decided to have a cold beer to start winding down the night.  Without really thinking about it I noticed this view:

The bottle opener was a beautiful gift from my great friend Sammi.  She’d read the post about having no regrets with my dad and had this made.  When it caught my eye tonight I just paused and smiled.

I pulled my phone out and started going through some old pictures of my dad.  I was smiling from ear to ear seeing the pictures of his smile as he spent time with the boys and I throughout all the years.  Gavin heard me playing a video and came in to watch it with me.  As we watched a video of Grandpa Pete spinning the boys in a huge cardboard box I snuggled up with Gavin and started to feel a deep sense of loss.

As we watched it I realized I needed some time alone to just soak in the emotion and appreciate the feeling.  My dad is gone and there will be no more memories made with him.  One of my best friends in the world will never give me a hug again, call me again, or be there to spend time with me.  It’s an incredible loss that causes a lot pain and heartache.  I hopped in the shower, still stinky from being in the river log rolling and fired up a song that really helped the tears flow, Terry’s Song by Bruce Springsteen.  I stood in the shower, soaked in the lyrics, soaked in the feeling of sadness and loss, and wept quietly.  In focusing on the sadness I had one goal, to remind myself of how much I miss Dad.  It sounds a little silly, but it reminded me of just what a special guy Dad was.  It reminded me of how fortunate I was to have him as my dad.  Sadness, but a reminder of an incredible bond and great love shared, so many joyful moments.

Once the song was over I hopped out of the shower and chose a different perspective.  I thought about what Dad would want me to be and feel if he were still around.  He would want me to be happy to for my friends and family and to be the best possible dad I could be.  To do that I need to set my self-focused pain aside and focus on how to be the best dad I could be.  I looked back at the past year and thought about what a difference the past 364 days had many.  How many times had I ton something a little differently with this newfound appreciation for life in the back of my head?  I’m positive he would be proud of how many times I turned his loss into a positive moment or created a new memory specifically because I was inspired by his loss.  What a gift!  In his passing he’s helped me find a much stronger sense of purpose than I’ve had in the past.  This sense of purpose had touched virtually all aspects of my life, from family to work to friends to people I’ve never met.  When I think about the impact Dad has had on my life since his passing I am happily surprised.  Even in death Dad is helping me to be a better man.

How funny that within the span of less than 30 minutes it’s possible to see the same thing in such different lights?  Even with the extreme difference in perspective in both there’s one thing in common…  the joy that comes from remembering the love of my father.

Thanks!!!

As you’ve probably already seen over the past couple of days the boys, my little brother, and I all headed up to Copper Harbor, MI for a weekend of camping.  The entire weekend was a huge success and many memories were made by all.  There were so many new jokes, inside jokes, and great times that I’m not even sure where to begin…  I’ll let the smiles in the pictures tell most of the story.

After dropping Nick off at his house in Green Bay I spent a pretty large chunk of the three plus hour drive in silence as the Gavin read and Dominic napped.  In that quiet I kept chuckling to myself at what a wonderful time we had.

It warms my heart knowing that my boys have grown an even stronger bond with their Uncle Nick and have memories they’ll hold onto forever.

For me I’m so thankful for the extra time with my little brother.  Between catching up, shooting the bull, remembering past memories and creating new ones it was an experience I’ll never forget and will hold in a special place in my heart for the rest of my life.

Thanks!!!