I am a huge fan of the sensation that comes when crossing off the last of the items on a To Do list. That profound level of satisfaction was not to be found today and will most likely not come tomorrow either. The past couple of weeks have been rather stacked and it’s going to take some extra time to slug my way back to breaking even. No worries, I’ve got it under control and it will all be done in time.

While I may not have scratched them all off I made some serious progress today. Rather than feel overwhelmed by what’s ahead I’ve realized I need to savor the knowledge that I’ve chipped away at the list today. By knocking out what I did today I’ve made room to take on two of the bigger projects tomorrow. Get those finished and then I have time to work on another couple. All in time, one step at a time. Slowly but surely I’ll catch up and get back ahead.

One side note, it has been an awesome experience in another way as well. In order to get everything done I’ve got to stay focused on what’s truly essential. Everything else is getting pushed away. It’s also been an excellent opportunity to remember the power of getting other people involved and allowing them the space they need to be successful. Both are very valuable lessons for me to continue to learn and re-learn.

Back to chipping away tomorrow morning!

Thanks!!!

Without going into a ton of details today let’s just say that I got all types of frustrated with something I was working on. I get working on chilling out and calming down, but it just kept bubbling up for various reasons. After a while I thought I had it all figured out and was going to keep my blood pressure down.

I started talking with a teammate and the emotion boiled back up and let it all out. I was frustrated and did not live into the stoic mindset I’ve worked on.

Once I was out of gas my teammate calmly looked at me and proceeded to walk me off the ledge. They very politely helped me see both the solution to the challenge and how my frustration was not benefiting me in the least. There was no sense of anger, disappointment, or anything like that, only understanding and a desire to truly help me through the situation. They listened intently while I spoke, they showed me they cared, they walked me down the right path, and they didn’t pass judgement on my poor reaction.

I will continue to work on my composure when my emotions and frustrations get the best of me. I’d done so well over the past month and change, this was frustrating and humbling – but a wonderful learning opportunity. I learned how important it is to stay calm and collected, especially when the pressure is on. I was also reminded of how important it is to be surrounded by friends who care for me and are willing to have the very difficult conversations I need to hear… especially when I find out afterwards the additional struggles they may have in their lives.

A friend who sets their personal struggle aside to help you through your struggle first – what an incredible gift that is.

Thanks!!!

A conversation from earlier in the day moved my thoughts towards a song that has been stuck in my head for a few days, Starting Over by Chris Stapleton (check it out here: https://youtu.be/A3svABDnmio). My audiobook was focused on the power of stillness and something just seemed to click. I paused my audiobook and thoughts just before Arcadia and gave in to the urge to listen to the song.

Singing along to that song I started to focus on the colors of the sky, the rolling hills of the driftless area, and all the trees surrounding the road. I was lost in a sense of complete wonder. It was like I’d captured the essence of so many vacations, experiencing the beauty of the present moment more vividly than ever in an effort to drink in all of the details and burn them forever into my memory. I’ve driven this stretch hundreds of times yet this time felt like the first.

As my smile grew I realized what I was doing, I was taking a road trip for my soul, a soul trip if you will. I decided that the next twenty-ish miles would be a road trip for me, I’d use a traveling mindset and be 100% present. To help set the mood I loaded up my favorite travel playlist and hit “Shuffle.”

Almost as if on cue a deer crossed the road in front of me. I paused to let allow it safe passage and then saw another coming out of the woods and headed to the promised land on the other side… and another… and another… and another… and so on until eight of those brown haired beauties scampered in front of my car. I couldn’t help but laugh with childlike excitement like the first time I’d seen kangaroo live in Australia, it was awesome! Throughout the next handful of miles I’d see more than two dozen off in the distance and I appreciated each of them. Their presence made the soul trip feel all the more complete.

Not to be outdone, the sun and sky wanted to make sure they were noticed as well. Streaks of purple and pink crossed the sky as the clouds caught different lighting from the setting sun based on their height. The colors were spectacular! The pinks and purples opposite the orange and gold skies nearest the sun. The combination of clear skies above me and to my right was complemented by the scattered clouds to my left. The air seemed perfectly still as nothing moved in the wind. The cold air added extra clarity to the entire expanse of the heavens.

The bluffs stood by, quiet and majestic. The undulating hills covered in a layer of snow, brush, and cut corn stalks. The combination of the colors, the whites, the browns, the yellows, and and the tans of exposed rock all changed colors as the sun made it’s trip across the sky. The rocks of the bluffs jutted out at seemingly random angles and locations and yet all seemed perfectly structured at the same time. The views through the valleys were so beautiful as to almost make my eyes water.

I considered stopping to take a picture but there is no way I could gather all the expansive beauty in a way which would begin to do it justice. This was a moment to take in, breathe in, and remember without the distraction of a lens.

There was a perfect stillness in my soul, a joy which can only be reached by a true state of presence. There was a complete and total lack of noise surrounding me, only quiet calm. Occasionally a memory of a vacation would slowly appear, help me appreciate something I had been missing, and then slowly slide out of view. Time slowed to a standstill almost as if it were willing me to take in more detail, to savor each miracle surrounding me. The state of stunning solitude and transcendental presence felt both completely devoid of anything and completely full of life at the same time. The balanced paradox of emptiness and fullness felt more right than almost anything. In that moment I was being me, enjoying the gifts of The Big Dude Upstairs (or God, the Universe, Logos, or whatever name you’d prefer to use for the higher power – why argue semantics?).

The soul trip may be over for now, but we can access it at anytime. That calm and completeness will forever lay just under the surface. All we must do is pause and look for it. It is wherever we go, whenever we choose it, and ready to welcome us in with a giant bear hug of peace and serenity.

Thanks!!!

For some reason I never quite “want” to go when Becky talks about going to yoga in the abstract. I want to chill out at home. I want to sit on my butt and relax. I want to just be quiet and do nothing… but I really don’t. I want to go to yoga.

Going to yoga means I’m going to sweat my butt off and get one heck of a workout in. I’m going to stretch muscles in places I didn’t know needed to be stretched. My mind is going to reach a state of stillness which so easily eludes normal life. Yoga will help me quiet my soul and find the serenity I desperately crave after the noise and busyness of work. Going to yoga means I’ll sleep like a champ tonight and will start my morning in a deep state of chill and calm.

Stay at home or return to the yoga studio? The decision was easy, the right answer wasn’t the first response, but exactly what I needed.

Calm. Still. Breathe in, breathe out. Namaste.

Thanks!!!

This weekend has been one I’ll remember for quite some time in all of its non-excitement. Nothing too crazy and I’ve only left the house to run errands and to go for a hike. No big events, no projects, nothing. And it has been exactly what I’ve needed.

I’ve gotten well over 18 hours of sleep over the past two nights. Yesterday I had the house to myself for just over 12 hours while Becky & the boys went up to their Uncle Matt’s house to make venison sausage. The time to myself was the medicine I needed more than I knew. I love time with my family and always appreciate it. Having time to myself was quiet, peaceful, and rejuvenating.

Today we did church as a family. I spent time hiking with Becky. We did supper as a family. The boys and I watched a movie together to wrap up the night (it was a history lesson, we watched Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter). In between activities I spent time reading and relaxing.

Time to myself. Time with family. Time with Becky. Time with my boys. Perfect.

Thanks!!!

Many books provide some excellent insight, ideas, and motivation. Even the ones I haven’t enjoyed much have at least had a handful of nuggets of knowledge to collect. Occasionally there are those books which some have referred to as “quake books,” the ones which rock my foundation. Those are the ones that go up on the short shelf to be read and re-read. They are the ones that cause me to pause and think. Quake books force me to step back and look at myself through a new lens.

The most recent one is a book I’ve known about for quite a while but hadn’t brought myself to pull the trigger on, Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. This read was like a sledgehammer to my ego, one of the hardest hitting books I’ve read in a long time.

The timing of me reading this is quite serendipitous. I’d already started putting together the presentation of my partnership history with Express when I decided it was time to pick this up for the first time. While compiling my notes for that presentation I kept realizing just how many times I’ve let my ego get the better of me. When asked by a teammate what my biggest mistake was in my career my ego was the one that I couldn’t help but focus on. How many opportunities missed, how many potential successes squandered, and how many partnerships undone before they could happen have there been due to my inability to see just how much my ego got in the way. It was humbling to admit, especially in a room full of cohorts, but it also felt like a weight lifted. Acceptance can be a beautiful first step.

This book really helped me see just how ego has gotten in my way, and that I am certainly not alone. There were so many stories of others who’d made similar mistakes and others who’d performed the way I wish I would have. After finishing it today I had to just sit down and let it all sink in and ferment a bit. This one will be re-read again soon, there is so much more info to glean from it, so much work ahead for me. I’m so appreciative to have this tool to help me grow, to help me close the gap between who I am and who I should be.

Thanks!!!

Today some of my partners and I conducted a training for a group of our future leaders, our NextGen Leadership participants. There were so many reasons to be thankful for the day, I hope to capture each of the key reasons as best I can as each brought great joy today.

The participation was incredible. So many great ideas and insights, there were many things I was able to learn from everyone – new and old. Everyone spoke up, asked questions, and shared, a very active group.

Being in person with everyone rather than all the Zooms we had been doing was priceless. As COVID numbers dwindle again I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect with others as we were initially intended to do.

Sharing the path I’ve taken to get to the present was transformative for me. As I wrote about a couple of nights ago, the zooming out was profoundly insightful. Seeing and feeling the emotions of others as I shared my journey took the entire thing to a new level. Hearing myself share the story I’ve already lived also helped me analyze and review my past actions and intentions – and see a better path forward. The questions asked helped me pause and reassess some conclusions as well. While the presentation was intended for others the impact on my own thought processes was mind blowing.

So many memories of times with my mentors and partners were refreshed in my brain. I’ve been so blessed to be surrounded by so many wise, giving, and loving people. Having the opportunity to honor them through the sharing of concepts they’d shared with me was awesome.

The energy of the participants, active in pursuing their future career growth was inspiring. Their eagerness to learn and willingness to share motivated me more and more. I deeply appreciate the opportunity to spend time on their journey with them.

Last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for the partnership my cohorts and I have. The three of us who were present each pitched in, adjusted, helped, and adlibbed to keep everything running smoothly. There were zero egos amongst us, only a shared passion for helping to grow our teammates. This experience has had a very positive impact on our relationship and I’m giddy to see where this continues to grow for us.

What an amazing opportunity to learn and grow with so many important people from our teams. I appreciated each and every moment.

Thanks!!!

Objective judgment, now, at this very moment. Unselfish action, now, at this very moment. Willing acceptance—now, at this very moment—of all external events. That’s all you need.

Marcus Aurelius

At a time when it was needed most I drew upon the strength and wisdom of this quote. I lived into it, followed it, and did what needed to be done through it.

The process was successful. The end results are yet to be decided. I feel fulfilled in knowing I have lived at least a brief portion of my day successfully.

Now I must push harder to live into this more regularly and with intentionality. A work in progress, but eventually becoming the rock the sea crashes over, unmoving while the raging of the sea still falls around it.

Thanks!!!

On Friday we have a leadership training for our NextGen Leadership crew at work. One of the agenda items is me giving a short presentation on my experience as a partner. When my cohorts first asked me to do this (the first one) I chuckled as I said yes. This was going to be easy – talking about myself? I’ve got this one covered! As I’ve been working on it I am now doing more of a nervous chuckle. This is way more difficult than I initially thought.

What’s been so interesting in this experience has been taking the time to zoom out over two decades. As I piece together my Express journey it’s almost like someone else experienced all of these events, there’s no way I’ve been with Express long enough to experience them all. From showing up for my first interview in blue jeans to becoming an owner to opening a new office to surviving a pandemic there have been so many experiences, so many lessons learned. While trying to piece them all together and then cut back to the most important I’ve been forcing myself to zoom way out.

What I really noticed today was the ability of time to fly by so quickly if I don’t pause to step back. If I don’t pause to zoom out it will continue to spin out of control so rapidly. By taking a breath and looking back I can stop and see the progress and the true depth of time I’ve let pass by.

At least a few times each week I review my blog posts from each of the past six years. In those posts I have planted mini time capsules for myself. They remind me of just how much life has changed in such a short period of time. I don’t have a system like this for pausing to do the same thing in my professional life. Perhaps I should.

Zooming out has brought me much joy as I see the progress and growth from the past 20+ years, but it reminds me I have so much work to so in order to live intentionally at work as I also strive to do at home. It really helped me see that I’ve got a sizable gap for me to work towards closing, which really just means I’ve got a unique opportunity to learn while helping others find a path through a similar challenge.

Thanks!!!