I recently watched an intriguing podcast on racism, action, and how to actually make a difference. The speaker did an excellent job of explaining the differences between being “called out,” “called on,” and “called in.”
Call outs are straightforward and don’t often get a positive reaction. The person being called out usually digs their heels in deeper rather than change.
Being called on is similar to being called out, but in a way in which you share your positive views of the individual and ask them to help reconcile the difference you’re seeing in what they’ve expressed.
Being called in is to invite another into the conversation. There is no judgment, only curiosity in learning where the person is coming from. Thus starts a conversation and dialogue allowing us to hear the other person. Essentially it is the concept of “seek first to understand.”
Today I was called in to a conversation. The experience was wildly positive and helps me see how calling in can really make a difference. Prior to this call in I would have just put out my hands to stop the conversation, but this time was very different. Rather than feeling the need to go on the defensive I felt honored. What a huge difference in attitudes in me specifically because of how a conversation was started?
My drive to Eau Claire was crazy foggy this morning! There were times when I would go from driving through a cloud to rising above the clouds and seeing islands of bluffs peeking out to back down into the clouds. Crazy!
After listening to my audiobook for a while I paused and listened to The Woods by Hollow Coves. While the song played my mind went to our backpacking trip to the Porcupine Mountains this past Spring. I remembered the last day of our hike specifically.
The cold river crossing early in the morning.
The rocky, gray, and quiet forest transforming into a lush green forest seemingly out of nowhere.
As the pieces come together on my writing I’m continually grateful for this journey. Losing Dad was the most difficult time of my life to date. The pain can still be raw at times. I often wish for an opportunity to have a few more minutes with him, another conversation, or another hug. The sense of loss will never leave my soul.
What’s interesting is that the more I write the more my thoughts shift from loss to gratitude for the time I had with Dad. So many wonderful moments, memories, and experiences with him. I am so fortunate to have had Dad in my life.
The more I write the more memories come back. The more I write those memories down the more memories that also rise up to the surface. And so it goes.
In many ways this journey has brought me closer to Dad. I’m seeing more clearly the impact he’s had on my life and the legacy I hope to leave my boys. As I write I’m seeing the good and the bad, what I’d love to grow into and the gaps I need to cross.
All the while I know Dad is with me in this journey. I can feel him supporting and guiding me. We do this together. It isn’t my story I am writing, it is our story we’re writing. Each step is a smile, a discovery, a lesson, and a moment I’m grateful for.
For the third time today I can’t help but chuckle as I remember that it can be so difficult to be thankful and appreciative for something until it is gone. There are so many things in life I’ve taken for granted and have only noticed once they were removed. The appreciation is so much easier afterwards as I can start to more fully grasp the impact that was made by it.
The first day of school is one of those things. When I was cruising back through some old pictures I came across many first day of school pictures until I got to 2020. There weren’t any. I paused and asked Becky if I was looking in the right place. She reminded me that they were non-existent as they were schooling online. Crazy! How quickly I forget. Then I paused and remembered just how special these first day of school pics are.
Each year this is a day when there is almost guaranteed to be a photo of both the boys side by side. Just like the rings in the tree we can se the growth of the boys by looking back through the old first day of school pics. For instance, here’s 2015 on the left and 2021 on the right:
The way these boys have grown blows my mind! It is difficult for me to grasp just how quickly they’ve grown in such a short period of time.
What made these year even crazier was their ride to school. No bus for these boys for their first day. They loaded up into their car and Dominic drove them to school. Peace out school bus, hello freedom through personal transportation!
I’m thankful for getting back into the habit of the first day of school pics even though I’m suddenly feeling way older than I did when I woke up today 😉
Seeing Bruce Springsteen live and in concert was mind blowing on so many levels. The entire event seemed so surreal. I often would pause and realize that I was actually seeing this in real life. Bucket list item checked off, was well worth the wait, travel, and cost.
The best part of the entire night was a single moment which I’ll have burned into my memory. A moment which will always bring me a smile. A single moment of pure Becky joy that topped anything Bruce did all night long.
Late in the show Bruce was talking about how his purpose was to help people through his music, whether in good times or bad, or vacuuming or doing laundry – which nailed Becky to a T as she often has Bruce on in the background on Saturday morning me as she’s doing things around the house.
At the point he said the last part of that line becky let out a sound of joy followed by a huge joyful smile – either of which I’ll ever forget. In that instant I witnessed the physical embodiment of someone realizing a dream, and it was perfect.
Springsteen’s show was amazing, even more than I expected, but that one moment was the single best part of show.
Often my thoughts and blogs are cluttered with unnecessary words and details. In an effort to clearly communicate I talk or write too much which detracts from the thought of emotion I’m attempt to convey. Occasionally I feel compelled to write more to “prove” my point, a terribly ridiculous thought when I’m writing for myself in the first place. All of these feelings and habits lead to more words, overcomplicated rather than accurately portraying my thoughts.
Tonight is different.
Amongst the busyness of a large family gathering I saw the moon slowly rising over a mirror of a lake. I walked to it in silence. I paused and took in the simple repose of the majestic sight. In that moment there was only stillness, peace, and beauty.
I paused and took it in, allowing my soul to mirror the simplicity and stillness surrounding me. I breathed it in and was grateful for life.
If you’ve vacationed with us before or have heard stories of our vacations you’ll know that we typically pack 8-10 days worth of activity into every 7 days of vacation. The great part is seeing and doing so much while we’re away. The downside is the amount of energy it takes to keep that pace going for a prolonged period of time and it usually requires some recharging time afterwards.
Due to Mother Nature’s disagreement with our plans for today we found ourselves with a day in which we had nothing planned – truly a rarity on our vacations! Taking advantage of our luck we opted to sleep in, we took our time getting ready, and then headed off for a bonus hike in a New Zealand’s best geothermal area. It was pretty cool, very similar to and yet very different than Yellowstone.
After that we went on a short walk by a waterfall, headed into town for a relaxing lunch, bummed around town, and then headed back to the hotel to chill poolside. The boys are having a lot of fun together and Becky are enjoying some chill time (though I’m still feeling a little stir crazy, hence blogging right now and then working on my book once this posts!).
Normally we wouldn’t have quite this much downtime in a day, but it really feels great and we’re enjoying it.