Whoever would’ve thought that building bridges is something that’s passed on through genetics?  Becky comes from a bridge building family and she definitely has a knack for it.  Even though she hasn’t had any formal training she certainly seems to be an expert at this skill.

You’re probably asking yourself, “Where is Kreiling going with this tonight?”  Hang in there for a moment and you’ll see.

This morning I woke up and started moving around.  Based on a much more physical Saturday than I’m used to it seemed as if every joint was creaking and every muscle was straining.  When Becky asked me if I wanted to go to yoga with her this morning my initial thought was NOPE!  I am pretty sure I grumbled and answer and let her know I’d decide shortly.  Over the next few minutes she gave me space and then talked me into going.  Nothing crazy or pushy, she just kept bringing it up in different ways until I finally relented.  After yoga I felt AMAZING!!!  It was almost as if she knew exactly what I needed more than I did.

While in final rest in yoga there was a thought that kept bouncing through my head.  I am so thankful for having a life partner like Becky.  There are so many times like talking me into yoga this morning when she helps me do the right thing.  Laying there this morning I almost chuckled to myself as I realized she’s helping me build a bridge.  When I think about the gap between who I am and who I should be I see Becky helping me build a bridge to span that gap.

She reminds me to stay positive and upbeat.  She helps me stay focused in the right palaces at the right time.  She reminds me of the dreams I’ve shared with her and helps me live into them.  There are many times when I’d like to shy away from something and she encourages and motivates me to do that thing.  For clarity – she’s not pushy, bossy, nagging, or all that.  Rather, she motivates me through modeling the behavior for me.  Becky totally leads my by example and I’m so thankful for that.  In each of those moments in which she helps encourage me to do the right thing she’s continuing to help me build that bridge to close the gap.

That thought is what I am so grateful for today.  I living life accompanied by someone who helps me to become a better version of me in a very positive way (and hopefully vice versa).  How awesome is that?  Each day she’s helping me to build the bridge across that gap and I’m thankful for her excellent construction skills. Over the past couple of days I’ve seen several examples up close and I appreciate each of them.  One plank at a time she’s helping me improve.  (Quick side note: I’m also thankful that she understands that it’s a pretty big gap that will never be completely finished but she sees it as worthwhile and meaningful work regardless.)

Thanks!!!

After yoga Becky fired up some Strumbellas while we drove home.  My mind is still blown by how crystal clear my memories of that concert are.  As we listened to the song I could see, hear, and feel the memory of it being played as if it were happening again.  Isn’t it amazing to have memories that are so incredibly vibrant?

What memories are that vibrant for you?  What caused those memories to be carved so deeply into your brain?

Near as I can figure it seems as if those memories are created in those moments in life in which I’ve been completely present in the moment.  In the example of the Strumbellas concert I was focused solely in that concert, nothing else in life entered my brain.  Hard to explain, but I was in a wonderful state of flow throughout the show.  It was amazing!  When I think of other memories that have remained that crystal clear that seems to be the one common feature – I was only focused on the present in that moment.

The second thing I’m grateful for today is the peaks and valleys of life.  Long story short, today has been very much a high.  It’s been a wonderful day with family, one that will stick for quite some time.  Considering everything that’s been going on over the past few months it’s been very much a peak.  Throughout the past months there have also been valleys.  Of course I’d rather not have life include valleys but it is interesting how they appreciate the peaks all the more.  If the valleys are going to happen we might as well use them as reminders of how much we should appreciate the peaks.

Very deep topic that deserves a more detailed explanation.  Maybe one day I’ll dive into it in greater detail.  For now all that really matters is that I’ve appreciated the peaks greatly today!

Thanks!!!

While I usually focus on one or two main themes there are occasionally days when I really can’t bring myself to focus on only one or two things.  Throughout the day there are too many moments when I catch myself taking a moment to pause and be grateful.  Today was definitely one of those days!

Some of the things that made the list today (totally not all inclusive):

• Waking up to Becky feeling good enough to get her weightlifting in
• Getting a run in to start the day
• A peaceful drive to Menomonie
• Remembering old lessons and doing right by them
• Seeing teammates go above and beyond
• Receiving an awesome and unsolicited text of support
• Meeting with businesses who are focused on taking excellent care of their people
• Wrapping up a small project or two
• Sharing information with others
• Hearing from old friends I hadn’t spoken with for a while
• Talking with family on the phone
• Having supper outside on the deck
• Talking about work with Dominic
• Laughing at inside jokes with Becky
• Getting a hiking guide for Iceland in the mail
• Ordering a present
• Running into more old friends while picking Gavin up from soccer

So any wonderful moments that made today a pretty awesome day!

Thanks!!!

Drives like tonight are starting to feel like habit.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do with not dropping or picking the boys ups from somewhere fun this summer!

The drive home tonight was after they’d just spent a handful of days with Grandma DeeDee and Grandpa Brad.  Once we were loaded up and on the road I had so much fun listening to all of their adventures in detail. They were both full of smiles and excitement as they gave me the low down on all that they’d just done with my mom.  It was awesome!  While they talked and I listened as a dad I was also taking it all in and had flashbacks of some of my favorite summer memories from my childhood.fda

This time I was smiling a little extra wide as it reminded me so much of the time I used to spend with my grandparents in Union Grove every summer.  True to for it included ice cream, eating out, a little road trip, hanging out, four wheeling (or three wheeling as it was for us way back in the day!), and even listening to and then watching the Brewers.  About the only thing missing was sitting out on the screen porch and chasing fireflies.

I have so many wonderful memories of hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa Lamping as a kid.  Spending time with them was one of the coolest vacations I could ask for.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve found myself holding on tighter and tighter to those memories.  When I think of either of them those are the first thoughts that come to mind.

Seeing the boys have this much fun with their grandparents fills my heart with joy.  I’m so thankful that they are filling their memory banks with many awesome moments created with their grandparents in the summertime!

Interestingly, this is the first time that I’m seeing it from a slightly different angle as well. Seeing how much fun they have as well as the smiles on the faces of their grandparents has me starting to look forward to and are inspiring me to create awesome memories with my future grandchildren somewhere long down the road.  I’m so thankful for awesome grandparents and parents that have planted those seeds!

Thanks!!!

After getting things done around the house there was a brief moment of quiet.  There was a pause as I thought about what to do next.  I’m very much into a great book, there’s some personal goal setting stuff I need to wrap up, and there’s always a list of small projects to complete.  In a flash inspiration structure and I knew what I should be focused on.

I grabbed my travel books, a huge map, my phone, and a notepad and snuggled up to Becky on the couch.  We quickly went to work planning out one of the trips that have been brewing in my head for quite a while… Iceland!  We quickly went to work reviewing the sites we want to see and the experiences we want to do.  Between maps, books, and online research we were able to construct the bones of our plan for next summer’s adventure.  There’s a tremendous amount of work ahead of us, but we got the most difficult portion done.

Travel is one of my favorite things in the world.  Having the opportunity to explore new places fills my heart with joy and my head with wonder.  The planning of the vacation isn’t nearly as exciting as the actual vacation but it does get my mouth watering.  Funny how even just thinking about a place and realizing that I’ll be going there relatively soon is enough to put a huge smile on my face.

Thanks!!!

Have you ever had that feeling that you weren’t good enough to do a certain thing, been a certain group, or coach a specific topic?  What was it about each moment that caused you to feel that way?  How have you responded in that situation?

I’d love to say that my post today is all rosy and full of successes, but it’s really not.  The road to today’s blog is littered with mistakes, missed opportunities, and lost moments.  Each of those missteps are exactly why I’m thankful for Impostor Syndrome today.

Before reading the book Presence by Amy Cuddy I thought I was about the only person in the world who felt like they’d been promoted too fast, trusted with too much responsibility, and were given so much more than was earned.  I’d sometimes count luck as my biggest reason for success and was nervous about being “found out” at some totally inopportune moment.  Imagine my surprise when I realized that it wasn’t just me!

When reading Bruce Springsteen’s autobiography my jaw dropped when he explained the way a concert performance fell totally flat.  As he described the thought process it was like he’d spent time in my head.  Bruce said (totally paraphrasing here) that he kept thinking about how he didn’t belong in front of the audience, how much he was screwing up, what a poor performance he was doing.  By the end he’d basically worked himself into a meltdown of negativity.  Each sentence hit me right between the eyes as this was how I’ve often felt when giving a presentation, training a group of peers, and so on.  My mind was blown that even The Boss has tangoed with Imposter Syndrome!

So where am I going with all of this?  After I learned about Imposter Syndrome I’ve worked at ways of stopping it.  Some are preventative and some cut it down as it strikes.  For a variety of reasons I’ve had the opportunities to battle it lately, and I’m so thankful for each of them.  In each case it was an opportunity for me to become stronger, to hone my skill, and to practice ways to keep my mind focused in the right direction.

The tool that I use as a defense when something hits my “IS” tripwire is interrogative self-talk.  Daniel Pink brought it to my attention in his wonderful book To Sell Is Human.  This is a great tool to aid my focus.  Instead of saying “I am smart enough” or any other statement that I must force myself to believe I put it into a question.  “Do I belong here at this moment?”

When asking this question my brain is forced to answer.  I don’t like losing so my mind often says “yes.”  But that’s not enough as I’m also smart enough to call BS on myself and smell the false sense of bravado.  Then I have to dig deeper…  “Why do I belong here at this moment?”  That one gets more difficult.  It causes me to think of the hard work I’ve put in.  I’m reminded of the studying and training I’ve been doing.  Past experiences (good and bad) rush into my memory and I can quickly start to see why I belong here.

Imposter Syndrome is like a schoolyard bully.  He seems all bad and tough until you punch him back in the nose.  Once you fight back he leaves you alone.  Instead of throwing punches I throw interrogative self-talk logic bombs at Imposter Syndrome until it runs for the hills.

Sure, sometimes I don’t put up the good fight and I lose.  There are times when I ask if I belong here and the answer is “NO” when I think deeply about it.  Regardless, I’m definitely winning more often than not.

And that’s why I’m thankful for Imposter Syndrome today.  It really sucks until you figure out what it is and how to beat it.  Once I learned to start swinging back by thinking about why I belong there at that moment my overall self-confidence has continued to grow.  IS still helps to keep me humbled, but every opportunity I have to face it is one more time I have the opportunity to get stronger.

It kind of reminds me of a quote by a famous philosopher…

“You can’t win, Impostor Syndrome. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” – Ben Kenobi

Thanks!!!

Sometimes the simplest things are the best.  They might not always seem blog-worthy as they happen more often or they are so simple they can easily be taken for granted.

The boys are up at my mom’s to hang out for a few days and have some great grandparent time like my little brother and I used to have.  Between them being out of town and Becky and I having gotten everything else for the weekend done we found ourselves snuggled up on the couch watching TV.  Nothing crazy, nothing deep, nothing intellectual.  Just the two of us cuddled up on the couch relaxing.

Moments like this bring a huge smile to my face as it’s time to just relax and enjoy the presence of Becky.  Normally these moments happen when our brains are a little frazzled after a long day of adulting.  To have it be a chill moment of peace is pretty awesome and greatly appreciated!  No stress, no worries, no pressure, just chillin’.

Thanks!!!

There are a handful of places that have a very special place in my heart.  When I am in each of those places it always feels like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at that exact moment in time – they each feel like I’m home.  Some of them are pretty straightforward, The Big Island, New Zealand, Iceberg Lake, Copper Harbor, and my home.  Others are much more all encompassing, anywhere with Becky and/or the boys.  Today I was reminded of one that really doesn’t quite fit with the rest.

A couple of days ago I got a call that our lawn mower had been repaired.  When I heard the voicemail I smiled and started looking forward to my upcoming road trip to Brownsville, MN.  All of our small engine repairs (as well as our storage) are done with Al at Al’s Small Engine and Whitesitt Storage.  Ever since we met Al after buying our pontoon he’s our go to person when we have something to store or a small engine repair that’s outside of my comfort zone.

When I loaded up in the car this morning to head to pick up our lawn mower I felt a kind of crazy sensation, I felt like I was going home.  Weird, right?  Who would ever think that driving 20 minutes to a small engine mechanic who is completely unrelated to you would ever feel like going home?  But to me that’s totally what it felt like.

It sank in while driving when I realized I had a huge smile on my face.  I paused for a moment and pondered why I would be so excited to drive this far when I do it all the time for work and it sometimes feels so tiresome.  As I thought about it I caught myself smiling, listening to great music, and it just felt like I was going home.  There’s really no better way to explain it.  Something in my gut felt like I was going exactly where I was supposed to be at that exact moment.  The same way it feels every time I head that way.  It doesn’t matter whether I’m driving solo like I was today or with company as I ave done that past few times.

The beautiful drive along the river seems so natural.  There’s a feeling of getting away from reality and the busy-ness of life to get back to a slower time.  It’s like there’s no agenda, no next steps, to task list.  When I’m on the road there time stops and I’m totally calm.  There is no stress or worry.  Heck, I even catch myself going the speed limit instead of my normal speed!

Once I get to Al’s it’s this weird crossing of realities.  In so many ways when I am talking with Al it seems as if I’m talking to some of my favorite parts of some of my favorite people.  Al has a laid back yet, incredibly positive, happy go lucky nature.  When talking with hime he has the old school style of speech that reminds me of my dad.  When talking with him I feel like he’s interacting the same way as my dad would when we’d run errands on Saturday mornings when my mom was working.  His shop reminds me of my Grandpa Lamping’s workshop and when he talks about projects he’s working on it makes me think of Grandpa.  There’s also a quick and dry sense of humor mixed with old school values that so much reminds me of my Grandma Lamping.  He always seems so happy to spend time with everyone, a trait that reminds me of how welcome I always felt with Grandma Lamping.  Put all these traits together and it feels like I’m heading home when I go to his shop in Brownsville.

Weird and strange, but in a very wonderful way.  I’m so thankful for those moments and places when it feels like I’m going home.  They’re truly joyful moments.

Thanks!!!

This morning I headed out with the girls to enjoy a nice walk to kick off the day. We were out the door shortly after 4:55am while it seemed like most of the world was still sleeping.

Once we got to our normal spot we walked in cool and dewy air under the light of the stars. While the girls ran and smelled I could fee my entire body relax. My senses were surrounded by so many wonderful things as I walked in the stillness of the dark. It seemed as if almost each of my senses got their own special treat (except taste for the obvious reasons).

My eyes enjoyed the stars above and the way the little bit of light reflected off the very still river. As the sky brightened there was a low lying fog that added a bit of surrealism. While looking back to check on the dogs I happened to catch a falling star (& made the requisite wish).

My ears heard so many different birds calling out more and more frequently as the dark slowly dissolved. There was also a sound of relative silence that was so peaceful compared to all of the noise that there would be once everyone else woke up.

My skin loved the feeling of cool air. There were pockets of even cooler air that I’d walk through and the sensation of going into and out of those short spots was amazing. The air had just a little bit of dampness and dew to it, it added to great feeling.

My nose enjoyed so many different smells. The funny thing is that I couldn’t even tell you exactly what they were. That said, I’d describe some as Spring, some as Summer, and some as Fall. As I moved along the road the smells would change and fade almost constantly.

While walking in the stillness of morning it helped me set my mind and attitude to the right channel for the day. A few times my mind wandered back to the calm of that walk and I could feel myself relax. In those moments I would pause and do a short checklist of what each sense picked up from the walk and I get more calm, in control, and on the right track.

Thanks!!!