I was going to take the the lighthearted approach today and blog about haircuts and an empty propane tank. There is enough deep and heavy stuff in the world this evening. Big hugs, positive thoughts and prayers for ALL who are impacted by all that has happened and is happening in the Twin Cities.

Earlier today I started reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I do not possess a vocabulary strong enough to adequately state what a profound impact I’ve already felt from his story of survival. I’m only halfway through and I’m already planning on re-reading it and taking notes throughout once I’ve completed this first reading.

Two quotes from the first half of the book really struck me. As the news of what ‘s happening in the Twin Cities they hit home even more. Please take your time as you read them. Also remember that these come from someone who survived unthinkable tragedy in the holocaust.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Both of these quotes brought a lesson to mind when I thought of the Twin Cities. This lesson was from the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu in their book, The Book of Joy. In a nutshell the concept is that in any difficult situation we should all pause and ask ourselves:

“What can I learn from this?”

Quite honestly, when I heard of the death of George Floyd I felt much anger. I immediately wanted to judge and determine who was at fault and why. My feelings were the same as I heard of the riots and looting. In no time I worked myself into a fervor of anger, frustration, and judgment.

The events of the past few days are out of my control. If I get angry, frustrated, and start judging people I don’t know for situations I don’t know I am choosing the path I do not want to live. If I choose to take a deep breath, offer positive thoughts and prayers, be open and listening, and find a way to help others as a result of this I am living into the me I should be.

Long story short, I should choose the way of love and peace. If I choose the path of anger and hatred I am not living my purpose and am now a part of the problem.

So how will I walk the way of love and peace? I will start by saying prayers for all who’ve been impacted. ALL. No exceptions. I will pray for their healing. I will pray they choose the way of love and peace as well. I will stay open minded and remember that what’s done is done. Anger to heal anger is not the answer. I will do my best to remember to not judge. Most importantly, I will not allow my heart to choose anger and hate.

Thanks!!!

You know what? I’m going to share a picture of myself that I will probably regret at some point. Or, as Gavin says, “it’s something I can show my grandkids when I tell them about how we survived during the COVID times.” Why on earth would I share this? I can’t think of a better representation of my day.

Yes, this was early this morning. I figured I should capture this moment of magnificence for Becky to swoon over. Tomorrow night I get my first haircut of the 2nd quarter of 2020. I’m pretty sure she’s going to tackle me as I leave for the haircut. She’ll beg and plead for me to keep my hair growing. A modern day anti-Delilah. Becky, allow me to apologize in advance for the extreme heartache you’re about to feel tomorrow.

So yeah, where was I? That’s right… how in the world am I finding a way to be thankful for a day encapsulated in the incredibly charming and professional picture above? Because sometimes these types of days just happen. Not every day is perfect. Most days don’t go exactly as planned.

From the moment Dominic and I locked ourselves out of my office to the calls I wasn’t expecting to take to the project I was working on that took way longer than expected to the seemingly unending interruptions the day just never quite got into gear. Everything just seemed to grind.

I keep thinking about when Becky and I took a detour through an almost unexplored part of Death Valley (aptly named) in a rental car right before I realized I’d been stricken with food poisoning from a greasy cheap breakfast and before I ‘d realized that I hadn’t told anyone where we were going for the day so no one would find our bodies except the insane eyed, way to happy to help dude with crazy eyes who was going in the wrong direction and I’m pretty sure was featured on a crossover episode of Cops and Unsolved Mysteries. Yup, you read that all correctly. One of the shocks got too much grit pounded in on the sand/gravel-ish road. Each minor bump we hit caused the grit to rub on the shock. After enough bumps the friction heated the shock to the point that the black plastic housing started to melt off like candle wax. How did we handle it? After the flat tire we turned around and headed back as fast as we could. This only increased the friction which increased the heat which increased the melting which increased the panic which only incited the food poisoning. What a happy vacation memory, huh? 😉

There were times today when I felt like I was driving that rental car again. The difference was that this time around I didn’t panic. I took a deep breath. I paused and took time to clean out the excess grit. I got back in and drove again until I hit another obstacle. Start, stop, pause, breathe. Funny how much less I felt the stress that way.

To be clear, was there stress? Big time. Did I allow myself to get stressed out? A little, but more often than not I was able to calm myself and quiet my brain to work through one thing at a time.

So again, you might be asking, “why is he thankful for a day when everything grinds?” Because I not only survived it, I saw tangible progress I’ve made over the past few years. Not only did I make it, but I even caught myself relishing the thought of “what next?” Today I had an awesome opportunity to exercise and grow my stoicism practice. I certainly wouldn’t give myself a perfect score, but I definitely got a solid B, maybe even a B+. Many times in the past I would have totally failed. The fact that I’m feeling sane enough to pause and reflect on the day instead of trying to bury it shows me that I’m making progress.

Today everything seemed to grind… except me. I’m thankful for a day like this to remind me to find the upside, to show myself progress, and to learn and grow from the experiences the day provided.

To go back to that crazy pic of me from this morning. Yes, this is a perfect example of the day. But if you look, I’m smiling through it all.

Huge bonus thank you to all of the people who brought an extra smile to my face today. Much of what helped today was knowing I am surrounded by so many friends, loved ones, and awesome people I haven’t the opportunity to befriend yet.

Thanks!!!

We went for our family walk after supper. The air grew more and more charged as we walked. The pressure was building. To our southwest a massive storm cloud was heading our way. The humidity seemed to rise with almost every step. It was awesome!

By the time we got home the storm front had continued to close in on us. I had plenty of time to get a few things done outside. One of our neighbors came out to get his mail and we had a great socially distant conversation. It seemed like the storm front continued it’s slow march across the sky, one step closer to us with each word we spoke. When the seething clouds were just about overhead we both headed back to our homes.

Dominic was outside with me by now and we both opted to stand outside while the storm bore down on us. We stood in the driveway with our eyes wide with awe as the first blast of wind, real storm front wind, came ripping through. The tree in the north east corner of our neighbor’s yard seemed to explode in a flurry of helicopters that were on a kamikaze mission towards our heads. Gust after gust buffeted us. We were both smiling, laughing, and awestruck.

Gavin popped outside by us to take in the view. The trees swayed further than they seemed able to, but there was no cracking sound. More helicopters flew around our heads and faces while our gaze shifted from the aerial bombardment to the roiling clouds to the bending trees. After a while the rain finally let loose and we took this as our cue to exit.

There is so much in life to be thankful for. Sometimes these perfect moments get overlooked as we rush from one event to the next or are focused on something different. Tonight we captured that moment. We savored that moment. We were 100% present in the moment. We were thankful for that moment. The power and beauty of nature are awesome.

Thanks!!!

We packed up lunches, beverages, and snacks and headed out to our pontoon. This was the first time of getting out on the beach this year. The weather started cloudy and then quickly brightened right up (just like my skin from the little sunburn I got!).

The boys ran around, splashed in the water, and went right back to the same shenanigans they had on the water last year. Becky and I likewise returned to our beach normal – relaxing and reading.

Dominic took the steering wheel and took us on a ride after we’d left our personal sandbar. I was pumped about having someone else drive so I could chill.

There have been many changes over the past few months. In jumping back to river life today everything felt exactly normal. Our normal river routine was totally untouched by anything even remotely COVID-19 related. Heck, I even only checked my cellphone once and that was only to make sure Mother Nature wasn’t going to throw us a surprise. Nothing quite like time to completely chill with the family doing something we love – especially when it brings back feelings of normalcy.

When our team decided to read Grit I started to remember the power of a deep dive into a great book. With that in mind I decided that my river life buddy for the day would be Stephen King. Okay, maybe not Stephen King himself, but the next best thing… his book On Writing.

This time I skipped the personal life story at the beginning. I went straight for what I was looking for. He lays out his toolbox for all writers and then walks through how he crafts a story. I’ve been stalled on writing and his words reminded me of how to jump back in. The lessons he quickly taught on grammar sunk right in. When I re-read this blog post I’ll see just how well his training stuck.

Quite often I reach for the new book. The one that just came out. The flashy one that others are talking about. I consume it quickly, but not always completely. Books like this remind me to go back for a second helping and take more time to enjoy it.

Thanks!!!

Social distancing has made it pretty much impossible for the boys to have a sleepover with their friends. I figured they could still have one even while social distancing.

Instead of inviting friends it was the three of us (Becky joined us for a little while early on). We proceeded to do all of the things they would normally do on a sleepover including having chips and soda, playing video games, staying up late, watching a movie, and sleeping on the couches. It was AWESOME!!! So much fun and laughs were had while we just chilled and felt almost normal. Not only did they get a little extra fun, I got extra time with my boys which I always appreciate.

Another added benefit of the night was a little strange until I started putting my blog together mentally. I didn’t take any pictures of us last night so I thought back to one of my favorites, the one of the three of us on our way to New Zealand a few years ago. When I opened the photo album online I couldn’t help myself and started going through some of the pictures from that trip. I know I was just talking about it a few days ago, but I was again amazed at just how much we did in our short time there… and how much more there is for us to explore there in the future. Those bonus reminders of New Zealand brought back many great memories, a huge smile, and a little heartache for one of my three “homes”(La Crosse, Hilo, and New Zealand).

Thanks!!!

There has been much I’ve been grateful for today. I got everything almost everything done that I wanted to accomplish throughout the weekend already. I had time in the workshop with Gavin and time cooking with Dominic. At one point the boys were outside playing very well with each other and I enjoyed hearing them laugh. Earlier in the day I had a couple of the folks I follow on LinkedIn post some great thought provoking questions that got my brain rolling. While doing woodwork today almost everything went perfectly. Steve and Kathy dropped off more ramps for us for cooking. The sliders I made for supper turned out pretty tasty. So many moments of fun and smiles, time with family, time to create with my hands and brain, and time to just think.

As awesome as all that was there was something that took the cake this morning…

I woke up to Becky all bright eyed and bushy tailed telling me that the sun was out and it didn’t look like it was going to rain for a while. Last night I stayed up later than I normal and all I wanted was to rest my head on the pillow and close my eyes again. The smile she had on her face and the excitement in her voice helped me see that getting up and moving was definitely the right idea. So I did.

Next thing I knew our short bike ride to the grocery stored turned into an almost 20 mile spontaneous bike ride date. We let the boys sleep in and they didn’t even know we were gone. It was like a crazy combination of a date, our normal yoga Saturday mornings, and our morning run. Time with just the two of us, no real agenda, outside, enjoying the fresh air, and getting a little exercise? Yup, that’s totally a slice of heaven in my opinion.

I’m so thankful for the spontaneous bike ride date with Becky this morning, pretty sure it’s the biggest reason why the rest of the day went so awesomely!

Thanks!!!

After work today there was a list of things I wanted to get done. Always nice to get a jump start on the weekend by knocking items off the list early. Today there was an added benefit that made the work very enjoyable.

Back when I was a kid I remember helping my parents with chores and other stuff like cutting boughs, stacking logs, simple construction, staining lumber, and many other things along those lines. Many times I wasn’t super thrilled at the idea of having to work, but looking back I learned so much from that experience and I have many great memories of time with my parents while working.

The boys jumped in to help me on each task I took on today. Gavin helped with sanding and staining the boxes we’ve been making. Dominic cleaned the gutters with minimal assistance from Gavin and I. My power washing partner was Dominic. To help replace the garage service door brick molding Gavin was my wingman and helped pull all the nails. They both helped with cleaning up the work sites after.

I had a blast! Having their help was great, but even better was seeing them learn new tasks and spending time with them were the true highlights. It even seemed like they enjoyed the work! I’m blessed to have so much time with them and I’m deeply grateful for the opportunity to spend time working with them like this like I did when I was younger. It’s even better knowing that they might look back fondly on memories from today.

Thanks!!!

Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed just how often our family talks about our past trips and experiences. Maybe it’s always been like this and I just haven’t noticed, but it seems as if there isn’t a day that goes by without mention of something we experienced as a family while on a trip. Often it’s something related to wildlife, the scenery, or an activity, but it’s also a meal, a conversation, a cultural experience, and so on.

Tonight we spent time planning our backpacking trip to Isle Royale for Scouts next summer. On our Zoom call we talked about some of the specifics of the island and before I knew it I was lost in peaceful memories of our time on our “Fortress of Solitude.” There were so many memorable events and aspects of that place, the one that’s come up a few times recently was the moose who almost walked into us. It was a mind blowing experience that’s forever burned into my brain.

Becky showed me the picture that had rotated in as her laptop’s starting screen. Within milliseconds I knew the place; more importantly, I was mentally whisked away to New Zealand. We went into a couple of different glowworm caves while in Waitomo and the experience is forever etched into my brain and my heart. If you take a couple of minutes to watch the video above I can almost guarantee your jaw will drop at the beauty of these awesome cave dwellers. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

There’s also a deeper and more personal reason that causes this memory to bring so much joy. While we were being slowly pulled by hand in a canoe in the dark and silence I was looking up at the glowing rock ceiling above my head. At one point I kept thinking to myself I wish Dad was here with me on this vacation, he would’ve loved this. In an instant I swear I heard his voice in my head, “I’m here, this is amazing.” I was glad the cave was so dark so no one could see the mist in my eyes. Whenever I see the glowworms I think of their beauty and I think of Dad.

Moose and glowworms… I’m so thankful for these experiences and even more grateful to have shared them with my family. They are excellent reminders for me to continue to live in the moment, experience wonderful things, create awesome memories, and share them with my loved ones for years to come as we continue to experience more.

Thanks!!!

Over four years ago I wrote a blog pos about a lesson learned from Dad.  We were working on a project many years before the post and he shared a little gratitude trick he practiced.  “Whenever you use a tool take a minute to think about who gave it to you, the projects you’ve worked on with it, and who worked on the project with you.”  It was Dad’s way of creating a habit of gratitude he would go on to practice most of his life.  To this day I take a brief second to stop and thing, to remember, and to be thankful when crafting with my tools.  If you want to check out the original post you can find it here: https://39yearsofthanksin365days.wordpress.com/2016/01/17/day-112-thankful-for-a-lesson-from-my-dad/

Just over two years ago I blogged about this lesson from Dad again, but with a subtle twist.  Instead of using it to think only about tools I used it to spend a moment of quiet thanks and reflection when receiving texts, messages, and other birthday and well wishes.  Not just a quick “that’s cool,” rather a thoughtful and purposeful moment of pause to think about my favorite memories with the person and be grateful for them.  This added so much extra joy to my heart and has become a practice I work to continue.  You can check that one out here: https://thankful4forty.com/2018/10/01/day-733-thankful-for-re-implementing-an-old-lesson-from-my-dad/

So here I am again with another added twist to this lesson in purposeful gratitude from Dad.  Last night as I blogged I had many thoughts going through my head.  My fingers never seem to keep up with my brain and I usually end up missing something I would’ve preferred to include in the original version.  When I hopped on LinkedIn this morning I saw something that brought on an instant face palm.  MARLENE!!!  Slap went my palm as it connected to my forehead… I knew I was forgetting something in my blog last night!

As I was writing about a difficult situation there was an awesome piece of advice I’d picked up from my friend Marlene Chism several years ago.  There was a specific phrase that has stuck with me ever since and it served its purpose wonderfully yesterday.  “Are you willing?”  The phrase reminds us that we all see a beautiful opportunity that we want to reach for (the island) but we also have to want it so bad that we are willing to fight the difficulties (the sharks) along the way.  “Are you willing?” is a beautiful way to determine if you are truly ready to pivot and attempt something truly difficult in order to reach your goal.  This great advice from Marlene came in especially handy yesterday and helped me bridge the balance of supportive AND demanding.

After I added a quick comment to LinkedIn I chuckled to myself and realized that Dad had done it again, in a way.  There are so many times when I hear the advice of others coming out of my mouth or rumbling through my head.  In almost each of those moments I can clearly see the face of the person who shared that advice with me.  When I thought of Marlene when she shared those words with me I immediately smiled form ear to ear.  I had flashbacks to some great phone calls we had when she took extra time to help coach and mentor me.  I remembered conversations about losing Dad, writing, and dreaming big.  The memories of her road trip to Winona and La Crosse and the drive up the Mississippi River made me smile even larger.  So many amazing interactions, advice, guidance, and friendship.  I’ve been things of her often and am so thankful for all she’s helped me with in the few short years we’ve known each other.

Taking Dad’s advice in a slightly different direction; what if I took time to be purposefully thankful for the people who shared wonderful ideas and concepts with me?  In many ways they are tools they’ve given me and tools we’ve built things with together.  What a beautiful way to continue to grow and cultivate my gratitude practice on a daily basis!

Even though he’s been gone for almost three years I’m so thankful for the advice, guidance, and lessons Dad gave in our time together.  Finding ways like this to continue to learn form him help keep him alive in me some I’ll forever be grateful for.

Thanks!!!

Over the past month and change my team and I have been reading 2-3 chapters of Grit by Angela Duckworth each week. We get together via Zoom, one team member presents the core concept and then we dive into a dialogue about how it applies to our lives (work and personal). This has been an awesome bonding experience for us while also helping us continue to live into one of our core values, Growth Mindset.

The chapters this week were related to parenting for Grit in our children. As Duckworth discussed this wasn’t just for parents, this was for coaches and anyone who cares for others. To help demonstrate the concept she showed a grid. The X axis was Undemanding to Demanding. The Y axis was Unsupportive to Supportive. In each of the quadrants created by the axis were different parent styles. What was found to be the ideal for fostering grit was a combination of Highly Supportive AND Highly Demanding.

This concept was very well timed for me today as there was a specific situation in which I had a choice to make. It would have been very easy to be highly supportive and not demanding. The person was in a tough place and it felt like pushing would have been very uncomfortable. That said, the right thing to do in the situation is exactly what would have been uncomfortable. If I truly cared about their future success I needed to be the voice that helped push them as opposed being permissive, allowing the cycle to continue, and the issue to persist. As I quickly though through what action would be best I saw this model in my head and made the right decision. Was it uncomfortable? Definitely! Was it what needed to happen and what needed to be said? Yes.

Something else that helped me down the right path when it would have been so effortless to take the easy way out were my core values. My team and I do our best each day to live into our four core values. Are we perfect every moment of each day? Nope. Do we take time to talk about our values and find how to better live them? Yes and often. Our four core values are rather simple yet complex: Grit, Growth Mindset, Gratitude, and Do Right. When we take time to think about our core values before taking action we always seem to make the best decision. When times are tough and there are multiple options our values are there to help guide us towards our vision. I’m so thankful for having this clear values burned into our brain as they help keep us on track so many times throughout the day.

Today there were some difficult decisions and situations. There were also many times the correct course of action was crystal clear when viewed through the lens of our values. Well timed ideas like Parenting for Grit Matrix also helped us out. Funny how when we live to our values everything becomes almost effortless as the right thing to do becomes so clear and bolsters our courage to do the right thing as we are doing it out of love.

Thanks!!!