Nothing like the days when I start to type… pause… and then backspace the entire thing. I start over… pause… and then delete everything again. Repeat. Over and over. Tonight has been that in a nutshell and I’m not quite sure that this will be kept, though it feels like I’m starting to get on track. Hmm… Yup, I think this is the winner.

I’ve blogged before about being grateful for the nights when there are so many things I’m thankful for that I don’t quite know where to start. There are times when I find a loose connection between several of those gratitudes and proceed to weave them into a complete whole. In those nights I smile as there is so much to be thankful for and it is obvious.

There are other nights when I’m at a loss and have to stretch. Nothing really jumps out and I have to scour my memory of the day to find what I am grateful for. Those nights are easy to be grateful for as well, as crazy as that may sound. When I blog on those nights I’m reminded that the difficult work of blogging is doing exactly what my original intent was – focus on being more grateful when I am not. I smile at those times because the blog is fulfilling its purpose.

Nights like tonight are an entirely different animal. I’ve got much I’m grateful for. For some reason the words and thoughts get a little stuck in my brain and aren’t quite able to make it all the way to my fingertips. There’s a deep and insightful thought that wants to come out but it is just not quite ready. Each time I try to grasp it I feel as if I am walking the desert and reaching for the mirage. I am reaching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. My hand passes through the illusion just as I think I am about to grab it.

These nights provide their own unique reason to be grateful. They are the times when I must work the hardest to extract the idea, to coax it from hiding. Instead of just typing I must pause, compose my thoughts, plot a path, erase a bit, re-plot the path, and then finally start to make my way forward. Blogging on a day like this forces me to put my thoughts together completely instead of just rattling of a description of something specific. These nights are when some of my greatest growth happens, I am pushed outside of my comfort zone and am forced to find a new way.

All that from what was initially going to be a blog about making progress towards a dream, how crazy is that?

Tonight I’m thankful for the nights when I have to work at it. The nights when the real work happens. The times when it doesn’t come easy and I must find another way. For sure, they are the most difficult to blog during, but they are beautiful in their own way.

Thanks!!!

Ahh… I almost wasn’t going to type this one, but I really feel like I must.

Tonight I’m sitting on the couch long after my normal bedtime typing this blog. I’ve been up and running for about sixteen and a half hours. Becky and I got our run in and had a great time talking about our upcoming backpacking trip to Isle Royale. Then I jumped on my laptop and cranked out a bunch of work before hitting the shower. Throughout the day I was bouncing between Zoom calls, phone calls, and several projects. I snuck in a nice walk in the sun over lunch. Once work was done I spend a little time chilling with Gavin and then helped grill supper. By the time the last bite was taken Becky had to head out to pick up Dominic from soccer practice. A few minutes later I was in the car driving Gavin to his soccer practice across town. While he played I worked on my book. On the way home I talked with my brother. Once home I played a game with Gavin for a little while and then left to go pick Dominic up from Pep Band practice. Wait a few minutes, send a couple of texts, ride home with Dominic so he can get his night time driving hours in. Take a deep breath, bust out a snack, a drink, and my laptop. Blog. After this I’ll just sit here and enjoy quiet time for a couple of minutes and then off to bed before waking up before 5am again to do it all over again tomorrow.

Normally, this would be one of those days when I’d be frustrated about going nonstop in so many directions. Thanks to the past 12 months? I’m totally grateful for the opportunity to be thrust right back into the thick of the chaos that was our life pre-pandemic. Spending a year without this much has reminded me to take time to enjoy the moment I’m living in.

An article I read today referenced a wonderful line from the original (and best) of the Star Wars series… To quote the great philosopher Yoda:

“This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph.”

Yoda

Yoda, today I was looking right square in the eyes of today. To now. The present. My mind was focused on where I am. What an awesome way to remember to be grateful for each day of life – the normal, the routine, the crazy, the chaotic – each day is a gift.

Thanks!!!

One of my favorite books related to running is Once a Runner by John L. Parker, jr. The story focuses on both grit and having a growth mindset. As the protagonists discuss their practice for a race they often mention, “trials of miles and miles of trials.” It is an incredibly succinct way to show how they are willing to test themselves through their runs while their runs test them as well. Whenever I am on a run, a hike, or a long walk I can’t help but here the phrase ringing through my head. It reminds me that each footstep is a test of my soul, my willingness to grit it out and continue. It reminds me that that there is no finish line for the test, it will continue for at least the rest of my life. Trials of miles. Miles of trials. The path to joy.

Why in the world do I bring that up today?

This morning we loaded up our backpacks with weight and headed out to Twin Bluffs State Park in MN. With our trip to Isle Royale coming up in the next few months we wanted to start testing out our gear. This was the first real test of both distance and weight. My pack got loaded up to 50 pounds and was pretty close to what I would be carrying on our 40+ mile hiking trip. We knocked out a little over 5 miles on some relatively flat trails.

Throughout this trip we were adjusting straps, shifting weight, and trying out different ways to get as close to natural walking as possible. It was a definite trial run, one of many we will have before June. What was great was the ability to keep a learner’s mindset throughout as this was our initial test. As we continue to test out what works best we’ll keep slowly getting it all dialed in.

Though we may be able to figure out what the ideal set up is I’m already planning on things not going as planned on the trip. Something may break. Something may change. Something unexpected will happen. At that point I’ll still be walking my trial of mile and miles of trials. You know what? I’m thankful for the trials – they mean that I’m living intentionally. I’m thankful for the miles – they provide the opportunity to test myself.

Trials of miles and miles of trials… how beautiful is that?

Thanks!!!

This may sound crazy, but I’m really grateful for cleaning the floors in our house. This morning Gavin and I tag teamed cleaning the floors in our house. With three furry animals, the boys, and me the floors seem to always have a layer of hair. Each weekend the floors get cleaned, but once in a while I just get an urge to deep clean them more than normal. Gavin and I worked together to move furniture, dry Swiffer, vaccuum, and then wet Swiffer, and then move the furniture back. It certainly isn’t the sexiest of chores around but there’s something crazy rewarding about it. There’s an immediate result that’s easy to see, there’s a level of work and focus needed to complete it, and it is still so simple that the mind can wander while doing it. Pushing a broom is more oddly calming than it probably should be, but I’m thankful for the work.

While Gavin and I were cleaning the kitchen floor I paused to show him how to pull the stove away from the wall to clean the floor completely. With the stove pull a few feet from the wall I took the opportunity to explain why the entire wall is tiled behind the oven instead of just tiling the visible areas when the stove is in place – which it is 99.99% of the time. Way back in the day Dad repeatedly shared the importance in finishing a project the right way. Don’t shortcut the completion of a project by not finishing something that won’t be seen often. If something is worth doing take the extra time to make sure it all is built correctly. When I put the tile in behind the stove I did the entire wall so it looks complete even if the oven is moved. When I explained all of this to Gavin he smiled and made a comment along the lines of, “oh, the same reason we’re cleaning behind the oven, right?” Right on kiddo! I’m grateful for an excellent “hidden” lesson today.

While I would like to share the details of the other thing I’m grateful for today it’s really between a dear friend and I. Long story short – I was reminded of a profound sense of purpose. Through difficult loss there are ways I’ve found to bring joy to my soul. A while back I shared something about this to a friend. Today they shared how this had helped them. The joy this brought was amazing. I’d lived a part of my purpose and I was so thankful to have been able to assist my friend.

Thanks!!!

Maybe it’s just cosmic coincidence. Maybe I just thought today I might be a special day so that’s all I saw. Quite honestly, I really don’t care what the reason was! My 2,000th straight day of blogging was an incredible day that will stick with me for years to come.

I usually share everything and am very open to sharing just about anything. Today, all the good stuff is stuff that I’d rather keep to myself for now. I know, kind of anti-climactic, right? Let’s just say there’s great news, epic movement towards a dream, and a lot of great family and work stuff. Dude, life is good!

At the core of all of it I’ve surrounded myself with the best wife and sons a guy could ever ask for.

Thanks!!!

The drive home from Eau Claire was nothing short of spectacular today! The sun was shining bright. My moon roof was open and I could feel the heat of the sunbeams on my face being tempered with the cool breeze from above. The entire drive was peaceful and chill. When I think about why I enjoyed the drive so much today it really boils down to driving in the sunlight. I may not have been outside, but I was still able to soak up some rays.

One of the other things I appreciated on the drive today was the forced thought time. When working from home my commute is short and I’m able to dive right into work within 30 seconds. When heading to another office I’ve got windshield time. While I certainly had too much of it before I can also see how a bit of it helps me keep my thoughts focused. That quiet time without distraction allows me time to think, ponder, and consider different strategies and ideas. By taking time in thought versus just action my day flowed so much better even though it was totally jammed. On the way home I had time to process the events of the day and put together my plan for tomorrow.

Last, we had a really weird work situation yesterday that had me thinking today. In the movie Fight Club there’s an interesting comment – “It’s only when we lose everything that we are free to do anything.” The reason I am thankful for this quote today is that when situation really started to turn I was open to an idea that I never would have attempted… and there’s a chance it might pay off! I’m a little doubtful, but if I already knew it was doomed why not try something completely different, right? What was an eye opener for me today was that I was able to take a little of that swagger from yesterday and utilize it in a much better situation today. What else am I holding on to too tightly? What other opportunities am I missing because I am too afraid to lose than I am courageous to try?

Thanks!!!

Earlier today we had our weekly learning session. After hitting our values very hard over the past 9+ months we opted for a slightly different direction. Each week one teammate shares something they are very passionate about. This week was my turn in the rotation and from the start I knew what I wanted to cover.

Having an active dream list has had a hugely positive impact on my life. From my first iteration of it on June 28th, 2007 through today I’ve got a running list of the dreams I would like to accomplish as well as the ones already knocked off the list. Fourteen years later I’m still shocked to find the increased percentage of success when I write my dreams down versus just dreaming them in my head.

In our learning session I shared how I used the process, what resources I’ve used in the past, and how we’ve worked together as a team in the past to help each other reach some of the lifelong goals we had.

The best part? We spent time sharing what some of our personal dreams were. Quite often one or more of us seemed to be adding another person’s idea to their personal lists as well. Sometimes the dreams were ones someone had already done or had some knowledge of the dream to help the person out. The only thing better than accomplishing our dreams is helping other accomplish theirs while fueling ours.

Sharing my passion of keeping a dream list was very rewarding and motivational. After I blog I’m planning on taking some time to add to my dream list. The team had some pretty sweet dreams that certainly caught my attention and fancy.

Thanks!!!

By 8pm last night the roads were sloppy, icy, and pretty much devoid of traffic. I was going to head to bed but inspiration struck as I looked outside. In an instant I was calling for Dominic to put a jacket on. When I told him where we were going Gavin decided he wanted to join us as well.

Where did we go? In some pretty awful wintery driving conditions after dark I took Dominic out for a driving lesson. He has to drive 30 hours to get his driver’s license, might as well get used to Wisconsin winter roads early while knocking out some hours!

I figured this would be a perfectly timed opportunity to get him out in greasy road conditions with bare minimal traffic. He had not really had any night driving experience yet so that was an added bonus.

We drove on roads with melted slush. We spent time on roads with lightly packed snow. When we were in a safe place with no traffic I had him drive outside of the ruts of past cars to feel how the deeper snow would move the car around. I had him hit the gas from a complete stop in an icy spot to see ho the car wouldn’t take off the same way. In a safe spot I had him get up a little speed and then jam on the brake and yank the wheel to see how it feels when the back starts to spin out. At another point he got to experience driving through deep snow going about 40mph and then sliding as he jammed on the brakes. His eyes got really wide and he said he had no idea the car would slide that far. It was perfect – almost every safe scenario we were able to play out to help him see how the car would handle in the snow and how it handled differently in all types of snow.

Having Gavin in the back seat taking note of the conversation and the feel of what was happening was a cool head start for his future driving lessons too.

I’m grateful for taking advantage of the unique opportunity last night. Driving in the snow is something I’ve learned to respect – not fear. Hopefully the lesson last night will help both the boys feel the same way.

Thanks!!!

Did anyone else catch the sunrise this morning? It was amazing! While getting dressed this morning I noticed the deep dark red of the sky. There was hardly any light, it was a dark crimson glow similar to the color of clouds over a volcano. As the sun slowly made its way across the horizon the shades of purples, reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows were so vivid and exquisite. By the time I got up to my workspace the east facing window allowed the light through just enough for the white west wall appear to have been painted a wild shade of pink and orange.

I was so lost in enjoying the sight that I only had time to take one quick picture from through my window. It hardly does it justice, but you’ll get the point:

Starting the workday off with a sight like that was perfect for a Monday!

I’m currently waiting for Gavin’s soccer practice to wrap up. It’s about 20 minutes from home and last for about an hour. Might as well bring my laptop and work from the car while I wait, right? That would’ve been an excellent idea… has I not forgotten my laptop sitting on countertop at home. Whoops! By the time Becky noticed I was past the point of no return.

Fortunately I had my ultra portable computer with me – my iPhone. The screen and keyboard are way smaller than the laptop but I have to pause and be grateful for a device like this. Thanks to the handheld computer I keep in my pocket o was able to wrap up the last few things I wanted to accomplish tonight and type this blog. It’s so easy to take the computing power of my iPhone for granted, today I’m taking time to appreciate it.

Thanks!!!

Earlier today Mom & StepBrad came to our house and we spent the majority of the day relaxing, talking, watching bald eagles, eating, playing games, and enjoying each others company. While their dog, Ruger, was being chased incessantly by Skywalker the rest of us largely chilled and shot the bull. I had an excellent time relaxing and catching up – what a perfect way to spend a Sunday! All six of us just hanging out and having fun with zero agenda. While we haven’t spent nearly as much time together as we’d all like this was another example of appreciating something so much more due to not having it as much as normal. Also, I’ve got to also mention how grateful I am for Mom bringing her zebra brownies… I love those tasty treats!

I’m also grateful for urban camping. To be sure, on the surface it was a total flop. The city lights were brighter than expected and sound pollution was a constant. At any moment there was either a bright light in my eyes or sounds of traffic or both. By 1:30am I finally admitted defeat and went inside for the rest of the night (the boys had already opted to head in earlier in the night). I had a choice to make. Be frustrated by living in the city and being surrounded by distraction… or…

…choose to use this as a reminder of why there is something so calming about being out in nature. Being directly confronted with the sounds and lights that I’ve been taking for granted for the past 15+ years reminded me of just how much background “noise” there is in city life. While it was frustrating to be distracted to the point I only tossed and turned for a few hours I can’t help be be thankful for the awareness it has brought me. I understand more than ever why I appreciate being in the woods – not only for what it offers, but now for realizing what it lacks and how that adds to its mystique.

Urban camping, not nearly as enjoyable as I’d hoped, but at least it was still time in the outdoors, time to think , and an opportunity to learn more about myself.

Thanks!!!