The agenda this afternoon included both a soccer game and a band concert, one for each of the boys. Soccer has already been on tap for the past handful of weeks so that felt like it was already back to normal. Seeing Gavin and his team play one of their best games of the year was pretty awesome. Kudos to Gavin for hustling all game long even when the sun was beating down and the wind died off.
What really struck me today was the band concert. The kids played very well and the acoustics of the bandshell at Riverside Park were pretty spectacular. Seeing Dominic on stage with his classmates was wild! The last time this had happened was about 16 months ago. Cue the thoughts about the weird time twist / nexus that has been the past year.
Upon arriving at the concert I ran into my friend Mitch, whom I haven’t seen in at least 14 months. We shot the bull and caught up for a while until we started to find our spot on the launch to watch the concert. Walking toward our desired spot of grass led us right past some of our other friends whom we haven’t seen in a long time. We had just enough time to joke around and kid each other a bit. It was awesome!!!
Spending time at the concert was another step towards getting back to “normal” life, and I’m grateful for all the smiles it provided today.
Dreams can be a truly amazing thing, can’t they? When they are focused on something we enjoy they are a beautiful window into great memories and wonderful imaginations. Last night I had a dream that was amongst the best in a very long time. It was perfectly clear, wildly lucid, and touched me in a profound way. At one point I remember thinking in my dream that I “knew I was dreaming” but I really didn’t care. I stuffed that thought aside and enjoyed the ride. I awoke smiling and with a heart full of love.
What was the dream? I was out in the woods with Dad. The two of us were hunting, talking, and enjoying time in the outdoors. It has been many years since the last time that happened and this dream reminded me of how grateful I am for those memories.
This afternoon my family and I headed out to the trails with our weighted down packs on our shoulders. We spent much of the afternoon hiking and enjoying the outdoors. Walking in the woods, talking, and enjoying the combination of physical activity, the outdoors, and time together.
Two wonderful moments outdoors with family. One real, one remembered. Both filled my heart with happiness and my soul with peace.
My mind operates most efficiently and effectively when I think in pictures and metaphors. Words work well, but something I can see helps me tremendously. Even in a conversation I find myself retaining more when there is a written dialogue or follow up afterward. When someone speaks words to describe an idea I can get it, but not as readily as if I “saw” the idea. This may sound a little odd, especially from someone who writes a daily blog, but it is truly fitting when you consider that a blog is a “visual” media. I can see the words. I add pictures that in some way are iconic to the story. Often they are almost a more true and accurate portrayal of the point I’m attempting to get across.
Why in the world did I start there today? When I focus on today what I find I am most grateful for is a specific vision in my brain… the edge.
I envision hiking in the mountains. The path I’m on offers two options.
One leads through a wide and flat path with tree cover on each side. I’m completely protected and safe from harm as I walk up the mountain.
The other winds along the very edge of the ridge overlooking the impossibly steep drop of a thousand feet. The wind whips at my face, tickling my beard hair and threatening to push me off balance. The view from here is a vivid panorama which will forever haunt my dreams. The beauty and immensity is without compare as I view miles and miles of exquisitely carved rock. The closer I walk to the edge the better and better the vista becomes. So much more of the majesty of the landscape is visible as I nudge myself closer and closer to the edge. The adrenaline pumps through my veins as I realize how close to danger I am, though I know with careful attention and discipline I can stay safe… barring some crazy, chaotic, and unexpected force of nature.
I choose the edge. The closer I get the more alive I am, the more heightened my senses are, the more acutely I am aware of the present moment. I must focus more. I must work harder. I must push further. The edge is the most difficult of the routes, but it reminds me of the beauty to be found in suffering for a worthwhile purpose.
Today I saw examples of the edge in a handful of moments. Sometimes I walked it, other times I avoided it. I was reminded of how important it is for me to intentionally choose the edge.
What capped it for me was watching Dominic’s first varsity track race. Without having practiced this specific distance he was chosen to run the 800m. For one half mile, two trips around the track, he would be propelling himself in what he described as a controlled sprint. From the gun Dominic hit the jets. When he passed the start for the first time it was easy to see he was right on the edge. He’d gone out so fast and so hard I was nervous he wouldn’t be able to sustain his pace…
Dominic pushed it right to the edge throughout the entire race and was rewarded with a 2nd place finish and a personal best in his first 400m. By the time he crossed the finish line he’d fully expended himself. Dominic started on the edge, ran the edge, and ended on the edge.
After the race his track coach came up to Becky and I with a huge smile on his face and couldn’t stop talking about what a gutsy and gritty run Dominic had, especially for his first time ever at that distance. Talk about two proud parents!
Walking (or running) the edge doesn’t mean putting ourselves in harm’s way, rather, pushing ourselves to the very edge of what is possible. Once we feel for and find the edge we almost always find that there’s even a little closer to the edge we can get.
Today I’m thankful for the reminders to intentionally search for the edge and to not allow myself to be lulled into safety comfort.
One of my favorite forms of entertainment is found on one of my most simple of phone apps. I thoroughly enjoy listening to my audiobooks, but sometimes I want something smaller and more bite sized. Something that provides new ideas and insights in a relatively short time period. Podcasts are by far and away one of my favorite forms of entertainment.
About 5 or 6 months ago I happened across an outstanding podcast of Tim Ferriss interviewing one of my absolute favorite thought leaders, Jim Collins. During that podcast Jim shared his annual format of personal planning and goal setting. I listened to that portion several times over and used that to create my personal framework for 2021. One idea shared in a podcast, many ways in which my life has been improved over the past handful of months.
One of the goals is focused on being more outdoors focused and taking advantage of as much time outside as possible. Another goal includes 30+ minutes of physical activity each day. Other goals on the list are directly tied to each of those. Essentially, outside time and physical activity are two of the linchpins of a wide swath of other things I’d like to accomplish in 2021.
One of the changes that this daily focus on my values, dreams, and goals has led to is hiking on Tuesday and Thursday mornings… early… like I usually need a headlamp early. The first few times were difficult in some ways as I attempted to coax my body out of bed a little before 4am. That said, I’ve yet to have a single time when I have regretted the decision to rise early for this activity.
Starting my day in the woods, in the dark, in the quiet, and in the moments of natural stillness has been rewarding beyond anything I could have hoped. I’m so blessed to live 10-15 minute drove from trails in the woods, I’m grateful for finding another way to enjoy that fact. My kind quiets and focuses earlier. My blood gets flowing and I get an early workout in. By the time I wrap up I have a rewarding sense of accomplishment to start the day. In the woods and stillness I feel at home. And at peace. By spending time at home early I bring that peace and serenity with me for the rest of the day. The hike scratches a primal itch I didn’t know I had prior to doing this.
So today I’m grateful for the decision I made in how to focus my time and energy, for listening to more podcasts. I’m also thankful for the new habit it has helped instill, early morning hikes. While I may jot have as much time for other things I’m okay with that. I’m intentionally living into who I want to be and it feels wonderful at such a deep level.
This evening Becky and I had one huge task we wished to accomplish. Each year this task is a rite of the transition of spring to summer. This one task is an awesome way to start getting ourselves into a summer kind of mood for the next five months or so.
Tonight we put our pontoon out on the water for the season.
The boys both had stuff going on so it was Becky and I for our second straight date night. Everything went very smooth as we backed the boat and trailer into the water. The sun was out and the temperature was just warm enough to be on the water. We each had a drink and enjoyed time relaxing.
Our first boat ride of the season was spectacular. The water was unseasonably calm. The sun cast beautiful reflections upon the water. We saw a few great blue herons. There were fish occasionally splashing in the water. In the trees and in the sky we saw more eagles than I could accurately count. Everything was so peaceful and serene.
Spending time on the water with Becky tonight was music for my soul. Being out in nature, enjoying all the wildlife around us, the stillness and simplicity of the outdoors, and being anchored in the present was exactly where I needed to be tonight.
The last time Becky and I went out to eat alone on a date was about a year and a half ago. Seeing as we’ve got our 2nd shots we decided to celebrate our 19 year anniversary the way we would like – by going out to eat with just the two of us.
Last year we celebrated our anniversary with the boys at home. We ordered out from Love Child – an incredibly delicious restaurant in downtown La Crosse. Tonight we went back out to Love Child and ate there. It felt so comforting to get back to doing something more normal feeling again!
As we talked about the past 19 years it was crazy to think back to the snowstorm of our wedding day. We were wearing shorts and enjoying sun the day before and then before the wedding we had people helping to shovel the sidewalks. Well before midnight the power to our reception hall – and almost the entire city of Medford – went out due to the heavy snowfall.
We took our time and enjoyed time to just the two of us. We savored the delicious food and drink. We relaxed and felt no weight or stress from life. We enjoyed time together. If that’s not a perfect way to enjoy our anniversary I don’t know what is… maybe hiking the rim to rim at the Grand Canyon next year? 😉
One other quick note, in times like this the year 2020 seems so bizarre. It simultaneously seems like one of the longest years of my life and also seems like a year that never really happened as memories from early 2020 seem like they were just a few months ago. My mind can’t quite delineate which of the two is right and vacillates between both answers in an instant.
Earlier today I read a quote from Marcus Aurelius that just seemed to fit my thought process perfectly today. Coincidentally, today marks what would have been the 1,900th birthday of the Roman emperor and the author of an incredible collection of Stoic thoughts.
Through my several reads of Meditations I’ve learned many things. One of the is that there are certain lines and chapters that hit home more than others depending on my state of mind, recent experiences, and many other variables. One of the reasons I so thoroughly enjoy reading it is due in large part to finding meaning in something I’d otherwise missed in past readings.
The quote today was quite catching based on my thoughts.
The things you think about determines the quality of your mind.
Your soul takes on the the color of your thoughts.
Marcus Aurelius
As I work closer and closer to the conclusion of another huge dream there was a specific task I had to complete. The core of the project included narrowing down a small number of values and lessons learned. I was forced to cull a herd of well over several dozen ideas and distill them into a manageable number of themes.
This forced scarcity exercise took me much longer than I care to admit. Eliminating something can be so difficult, especially when it is a topic so near and dear to me. As I struggled through it I found myself making lists upon lists only to toss them aside as they weren’t quite right.
The clock ticked towards the deadline and I finally decided to let go and focus my mind elsewhere. Once I did all the ideas seemed to stitch themselves together into an incredibly neat, tidy, and cohesive whole. While I stumbled and fumbled so many thoughts in my waking mind some other part of my deeper mind slowly put the pieces together.
What I’m most thankful for about this project was the forced scarcity. Did I seriously need to cut down the list to that small of a size in that short of a time? Of course not, it was a construct of my own making. But by forcing the mindset of scarcity I was able to focus, take action, and put all the pieces together to lead to the breakthrough moment.
While Becky was volunteering at the soccer fields and Dominic was reffing Gavin and I were getting the pontoon ready this morning. The weather wasn’t right for boating, but it is always nice to get it ready to go so we can drop it in the water on a random weeknight. The task largely consisted of loading stuff into the boat, but we also had to gas up for the start of the year.
There’s a specific Kwik Trip I like to go to for this task. The one on Rose Street has a lane that leads straight out to the road and the hose is exactly long enough to reach our tank (the height is all wonky with the pontoon being trailered). I’ve been known to wait until that exact pump is open to avoid having to make any crazy turns or having to back up.
As luck would have it the pump was open so I started pulling in. Once the front of the car was already past the pump I noticed that the alley exit was closed due to construction. A brief wave of panic rolled through my brain as the concept of having to back up rose up form the pit of my stomach. I took a deep breath and figured, “what’s the worst that could happen?” Yes, there was a long list of awful possibilities, but that’s what I have insurance for, right?
After gassing up I had Gavin hop out to keep an eye out for anything I may hit. I took a deep breath and then did my best to let my reflexes kick in rather than overthink it. Next thing I knew I was backing it up perfectly straight as I needed to. When we got to the right point I jack knifed the trailer in the exact 90 degree corner I wanted to move it into. Gavin jumped in the car and we pulled out. No second thoughts, no over thinking, no damage, and not even a single re-do or correction. Everything went perfectly!
The only part that I was disappointed by in this endeavor was that Becky wasn’t there to witness it. Ever since we first got our pontoon she’s been the one who’s coached me on how to back it up correctly and efficiently. Becky taught me all the tricks I know about backing up the boat and all those lessons paid off today.
I’m glad I remembered to let reflexes kick in and even more grateful for the coach who’s helped me develop those reflexes. Thanks Becky!
Oops!!! Somehow I missed hitting the “Publish” button after finishing my blog last night. At least I wrote it on the day I was supposed to 😉
Dominic’s last high school soccer game of the season was today. While Becky went to Gavin’s game here in town I hopped in the car and drove an hour and a half down the Mississippi River to Prairie du Chien. I opted to head across the border into Minnesota and then into Iowa before crossing the Mississippi a second time to go back into Wisconsin.
Of all the drives to and from La Crosse this one has to be amongst my all time favorites. The entire drive has scenic views of the bluffs, the river, and all the wildlife in between. There is little traffic and very few towns which adds even more to the feeling of serenity on the drive. I saw so many migrating birds, eagles, pelicans, and other signs wildlife. Focusing on the road was difficult at times as my eyes, imagination, and wonder pulled me towards the spectacular views of the Mississippi River Valley.
On my way home I remembered something I had noticed as I’d crossed into Iowa. Just a few minutes across the border there was a sign for the “Fish Farm Mounds” and there was a little parking area. After sitting in the car for a while it seemed like a great spot to get out and stretch my legs while taking in more of the view. I am so thankful I chose that exact spot.
When I pulled into the parking area my car was the only one there. I saw a hint of a trail that ended in some barely noticeable steps leading to seemingly nowhere. In a flash I found myself going up the old grass and moss covered carved rock steps. After a dozen or so steps the trail turned sharply to the left. Another dozen or so steps and it turned sharply to the right. At the end of the stairs I stood frozen.
When I have read fictional stories telling of a fairy tale like forest I couldn’t picture anything more idyllic than the glen I walked into. The outside world seemed to fade away when I walked a few steps into this area. It was a large open grassy area surrounded on all sides by thick brush and trees. Several trees provided what would appear to be the perfect amount of shade on a sunny day. I swear I walked out of reality and into a fantasy world. It even felt different in the core of my bones. I wish I sufficient words to share exactly what I mean, but all I can say is that it was so vividly serene.
What made the area even more special were the dozens of burial mounds from indigenous Americans… some from over 2,000 years ago! The most recent amongst them are believed to be from the year 650. No, I didn’t forget the first digit – the newest ones are almost 1,400 years old. Seeing the mounds throughout the area added an additional depth to the magic of this location. It was so easy to see why they would have chosen such a place for the final resting spot of family. I must admit that it was quickly added to the list of places I would like to see my ashes spread after the time of my earthly body has come to an end.
I took a couple of pictures to remind me of this place, though they will never do it justice. The true magic was in the place itself, in the land, and in the history surrounding it. Whenever I read a story of someone running into the woods this is the spot which will be in my mind. I’ve already seared the memory into my heart, or, more fittingly, this place has left its mark upon me.
I am so thankful for taking the time to explore the outdoors. Never in a million years would I have imagined finding a little piece of heaven on Earth like this.
This has been a great week for a wide variety of reasons. There have been ups and downs, but we definitely won way more than we loss.
The way we’re wrapping up the week is about as perfectly as I could hope… family time on the couch. It doesn’t happen often, but all four of us are now home, chilling on the couch, joking and laughing together as a family.
Everything else today is secondary to a moment like this.
Thankful for Forty 