There are so many reasons I enjoy yoga tremendously. Throughout the day many of those benefits were in my thoughts. My body was very loose even though I was in the car a lot today. I felt incredibly well rested when I woke up this morning, the workout last night helped my drift off to sleep quickly and deeply. The calm and stillness from the focus of the practice last night rolled right into this morning and has stuck around all day. Those benefits were awesome, but there was another reason I was thankful for yoga last night.
Five simple words which have been turning in my head since the last third of last night’s practice…
Nick, our instructor, was pushing us hard yesterday in a very good way. He kept encouraging us to go just a little further, to hold our breath a little longer, to move into a slightly more difficult position than the one we’d chosen. Long story short, he was helping us find our edge and push right up against it in a highly supportive environment.
At one point after we finished a difficult pose he shared five words he’d learned from a past teacher. When Nick shared the coaching I was completely present, my breathing focused, my mind cleared of any thought other than my breath. He spoke and I listened intently. The words struck me powerfully, such a juxtaposition to the deeply quiet calm I’d slipped into throughout yoga.
Since sharing the words of wisdom they’ve been reverberating in my mind for so many reasons. They seemed to unlock something I’ve been unknowingly struggling with. With those five words in mind I handled several things differently today than I ever would have.
Yoga helped me get to a quiet place in which I was ready to truly hear the coaching and let it sink in completely. One more reasons to love yoga, it helps me quiet my brain and my soul so I can listen completely.
We’re not really a house of Valentine’s Day celebrants. The importance of the day is pretty much lost on us. Rather than the usual dinner and flowers we opted for something that was almost 100% our style. The only thing missing was outdoor activity, but we got that early in the morning in our pre-dawn run.
Yesterday we picked up some bison steaks to grill up tonight. As luck would have it our gas ran out just as I was about to put the steaks on the grill. Thank goodness a couple of my teammates had recently told me about broiling steaks instead so I had a backup plan.
After eating we headed out to yoga to get all namaste and shit – and it was awesome! Excellent workout, very chill and relaxing, and I even got a couple of strong ideas for work based on Nick’s coaching.
Now I’ve showered up and will be off for an early bed. Not the most exciting of nights, but 100% a positive day all around. Forget the restaurants and flowers, yoga and bison at home sounds perfect to me!
The temperature yesterday was a little chilly. The lowest I saw was -5 degrees with the windchill dropping the feel to about -16. A little cool, but nothing to get in the way of having a great time in the woods with my boys. We went for an outing with Scouts and the cold air only added to the fun and memorableness. We also learned a few lessons along the way, like the fact that butane tanks don’t like to stay pressurized in the extreme cold… and that the tanks can be warmed up to the right temperature by putting them against your chest inside a pair of bibs and jacket with a couple of hand warmers for about 15-20 minutes.
I’m always grateful for time in the woods with my family. Sharing my happy place with those I love is amongst my favorite activities. Whether camping, hiking, traveling, snowshoeing, running, or anything – time outside in nature with my family is always rewarding, even when the weather doesn’t cooperate or is less than ideal.
Last night we laughed, enjoyed time together, and stayed warm. While I rested in my solo tent with a double layer of tarps and a triple sleeping bag set up I kept smiling while listening to the laughing coming from the boys’ tent next to me. They were joking around and goofing off just the way kids are supposed to. Doing it outside in crazy weather made it all the more perfect. Times together like this will hopefully continue to instill a passion for time in the wilderness for both of them.
Not gonna lie, at one point it got so warm I had to unzip my sleeping bags and cool off!
Gotta love how timing works sometimes, right? The rest of this week has been relatively warm, why wouldn’t the coldest part of the week hit when we’re outside camping for Scouts? 😉
Yessir, here’s the forecast for tomorrow morning when we wake up:
We’ve got everything packed up and will be heading out soon, I’m glad I was thinking ahead and wanted to type my blog while I still had feeling in my fingers! Yes, it’s a goofy one to be thankful for today, but at about 8:00pm tonight I’ll be thinking about how I wrote this now and will be thanking myself for planning ahead.
Our run this morning was warm but one of the most brutal in quite some time. It’s been quite a while since I’d last run on very icy roads. My feet would find solid purchase for a dozen steps or so only to then almost shoot right out from under me on the next steps. I’d move a little ways to the left and then a little to the right with no luck, everywhere I put my feet there seemed to be ice.
There wasn’t anything I could do to change the ice so I chose to roll with it. I shifted my posture to keep my center of gravity perfectly over my feet. My strides where greatly condensed as I went with shorter steps in order to keep myself from getting to out of balance. Due to the combination of clean blacktop, packed snow, ice, and potholes each step was an adventure and very rarely did more than three straight steps feel the same.
This was an opportunity for me to push the edge. I would rather not run on conditions like this, but what an opportunity to push my boundaries a bit. By running on this edge I was able to work on my balance, my focus, adjusting my steps, my breathing, and strengthening the little stabilizing muscles in my legs and feet. Before I knew it I was actually enjoying this run on the edge. For sure, it still hurt, but there was something fun in pushing the boundaries of what I feel comfortable doing.
When considering the past few weeks, possibly months, in much of life I’m seeing where I’ve pushed the edges. I’ve moved right to the boundary of comfort and ridden the line between there and discomfort. On that edge I’ve found growth. There’s more room to push that edge further and further out. The stretching doesn’t always feel good, it often starts off as the opposite, but the end result is positive. Not only that, but I’m finding that if I keep asking myself the right questions and choosing the right mindset I actually enjoy pushing the edge. Despite the discomfort I know I’m moving forward. Kind of like increasing the weights while lifting, it’s a good discomfort. If I do it right I have the opportunity to enjoy both the destination (joy) and the journey (suffering).
This might be one of those nights when I start to explore and idea to come back to a little later. I feel like there’s a lot more to pull apart and extract to this concept, but I want to let this ferment further. May this blog be a future thought seed.
I am a huge fan of the sensation that comes when crossing off the last of the items on a To Do list. That profound level of satisfaction was not to be found today and will most likely not come tomorrow either. The past couple of weeks have been rather stacked and it’s going to take some extra time to slug my way back to breaking even. No worries, I’ve got it under control and it will all be done in time.
While I may not have scratched them all off I made some serious progress today. Rather than feel overwhelmed by what’s ahead I’ve realized I need to savor the knowledge that I’ve chipped away at the list today. By knocking out what I did today I’ve made room to take on two of the bigger projects tomorrow. Get those finished and then I have time to work on another couple. All in time, one step at a time. Slowly but surely I’ll catch up and get back ahead.
One side note, it has been an awesome experience in another way as well. In order to get everything done I’ve got to stay focused on what’s truly essential. Everything else is getting pushed away. It’s also been an excellent opportunity to remember the power of getting other people involved and allowing them the space they need to be successful. Both are very valuable lessons for me to continue to learn and re-learn.
Without going into a ton of details today let’s just say that I got all types of frustrated with something I was working on. I get working on chilling out and calming down, but it just kept bubbling up for various reasons. After a while I thought I had it all figured out and was going to keep my blood pressure down.
I started talking with a teammate and the emotion boiled back up and let it all out. I was frustrated and did not live into the stoic mindset I’ve worked on.
Once I was out of gas my teammate calmly looked at me and proceeded to walk me off the ledge. They very politely helped me see both the solution to the challenge and how my frustration was not benefiting me in the least. There was no sense of anger, disappointment, or anything like that, only understanding and a desire to truly help me through the situation. They listened intently while I spoke, they showed me they cared, they walked me down the right path, and they didn’t pass judgement on my poor reaction.
I will continue to work on my composure when my emotions and frustrations get the best of me. I’d done so well over the past month and change, this was frustrating and humbling – but a wonderful learning opportunity. I learned how important it is to stay calm and collected, especially when the pressure is on. I was also reminded of how important it is to be surrounded by friends who care for me and are willing to have the very difficult conversations I need to hear… especially when I find out afterwards the additional struggles they may have in their lives.
A friend who sets their personal struggle aside to help you through your struggle first – what an incredible gift that is.
A conversation from earlier in the day moved my thoughts towards a song that has been stuck in my head for a few days, Starting Over by Chris Stapleton (check it out here: https://youtu.be/A3svABDnmio). My audiobook was focused on the power of stillness and something just seemed to click. I paused my audiobook and thoughts just before Arcadia and gave in to the urge to listen to the song.
Singing along to that song I started to focus on the colors of the sky, the rolling hills of the driftless area, and all the trees surrounding the road. I was lost in a sense of complete wonder. It was like I’d captured the essence of so many vacations, experiencing the beauty of the present moment more vividly than ever in an effort to drink in all of the details and burn them forever into my memory. I’ve driven this stretch hundreds of times yet this time felt like the first.
As my smile grew I realized what I was doing, I was taking a road trip for my soul, a soul trip if you will. I decided that the next twenty-ish miles would be a road trip for me, I’d use a traveling mindset and be 100% present. To help set the mood I loaded up my favorite travel playlist and hit “Shuffle.”
Almost as if on cue a deer crossed the road in front of me. I paused to let allow it safe passage and then saw another coming out of the woods and headed to the promised land on the other side… and another… and another… and another… and so on until eight of those brown haired beauties scampered in front of my car. I couldn’t help but laugh with childlike excitement like the first time I’d seen kangaroo live in Australia, it was awesome! Throughout the next handful of miles I’d see more than two dozen off in the distance and I appreciated each of them. Their presence made the soul trip feel all the more complete.
Not to be outdone, the sun and sky wanted to make sure they were noticed as well. Streaks of purple and pink crossed the sky as the clouds caught different lighting from the setting sun based on their height. The colors were spectacular! The pinks and purples opposite the orange and gold skies nearest the sun. The combination of clear skies above me and to my right was complemented by the scattered clouds to my left. The air seemed perfectly still as nothing moved in the wind. The cold air added extra clarity to the entire expanse of the heavens.
The bluffs stood by, quiet and majestic. The undulating hills covered in a layer of snow, brush, and cut corn stalks. The combination of the colors, the whites, the browns, the yellows, and and the tans of exposed rock all changed colors as the sun made it’s trip across the sky. The rocks of the bluffs jutted out at seemingly random angles and locations and yet all seemed perfectly structured at the same time. The views through the valleys were so beautiful as to almost make my eyes water.
I considered stopping to take a picture but there is no way I could gather all the expansive beauty in a way which would begin to do it justice. This was a moment to take in, breathe in, and remember without the distraction of a lens.
There was a perfect stillness in my soul, a joy which can only be reached by a true state of presence. There was a complete and total lack of noise surrounding me, only quiet calm. Occasionally a memory of a vacation would slowly appear, help me appreciate something I had been missing, and then slowly slide out of view. Time slowed to a standstill almost as if it were willing me to take in more detail, to savor each miracle surrounding me. The state of stunning solitude and transcendental presence felt both completely devoid of anything and completely full of life at the same time. The balanced paradox of emptiness and fullness felt more right than almost anything. In that moment I was being me, enjoying the gifts of The Big Dude Upstairs (or God, the Universe, Logos, or whatever name you’d prefer to use for the higher power – why argue semantics?).
Not from today, but you get the idea 🙂
The soul trip may be over for now, but we can access it at anytime. That calm and completeness will forever lay just under the surface. All we must do is pause and look for it. It is wherever we go, whenever we choose it, and ready to welcome us in with a giant bear hug of peace and serenity.
For some reason I never quite “want” to go when Becky talks about going to yoga in the abstract. I want to chill out at home. I want to sit on my butt and relax. I want to just be quiet and do nothing… but I really don’t. I want to go to yoga.
Going to yoga means I’m going to sweat my butt off and get one heck of a workout in. I’m going to stretch muscles in places I didn’t know needed to be stretched. My mind is going to reach a state of stillness which so easily eludes normal life. Yoga will help me quiet my soul and find the serenity I desperately crave after the noise and busyness of work. Going to yoga means I’ll sleep like a champ tonight and will start my morning in a deep state of chill and calm.
Stay at home or return to the yoga studio? The decision was easy, the right answer wasn’t the first response, but exactly what I needed.
This weekend has been one I’ll remember for quite some time in all of its non-excitement. Nothing too crazy and I’ve only left the house to run errands and to go for a hike. No big events, no projects, nothing. And it has been exactly what I’ve needed.
I’ve gotten well over 18 hours of sleep over the past two nights. Yesterday I had the house to myself for just over 12 hours while Becky & the boys went up to their Uncle Matt’s house to make venison sausage. The time to myself was the medicine I needed more than I knew. I love time with my family and always appreciate it. Having time to myself was quiet, peaceful, and rejuvenating.
Today we did church as a family. I spent time hiking with Becky. We did supper as a family. The boys and I watched a movie together to wrap up the night (it was a history lesson, we watched Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter). In between activities I spent time reading and relaxing.
Time to myself. Time with family. Time with Becky. Time with my boys. Perfect.
Thankful for Forty 