Today I was helping out one of our newest offices and I had a fantastic time working with them.  There’s something about the energy of people taking on a new task that gets me so amped up, I really appreciate it.

It meant an early morning long car ride and a later evening car ride home, so I’ve had a lot of car time to think and listen to the book Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith.  The book is focused on how to create behaviors that last to help us be more like the person we want to be.  As I listened my brain kept going back to one of Father Mark’s favorite quotes, “Let us take a moment to mind the gap between who we are and who we are called to be.”

That quote has lasted with me for over 15 years, and it’s a part of the core of my value of having a growth mindset.  As Father Mark said it he never intended it to be something that made us feel bad or guilty.  Rather, it was bringing awareness to where we could each be better.

As I listened to Triggers this concept kept sneaking back up, over and over…  Who do I really want to be?  How do I really want to live?  How well do I live my values daily?  What am I actively doing to live my dreams?  Did I do my best today to be the best possible version of me that I could be?  As I thought through these and many other questions it helped me remember to mind the gap…  and find ways to close it.

There were several times in which I paused the audiobook and spent some time thinking, considering the answers.  The interesting thing is that I am not beating myself up over the answers, but rather considering how important each of them are to me and thinking of ways to improve those answers for tomorrow.  I am pretty sure that I’ll never answer everything perfectly, but I’m okay with that so long as I am doing my best to close the gap.

After a while I had a song that got stuck in my head and it really fit the mood.  If you just read the lyrics below you might not quite be sure what to think about it.  It almost seems sad and somber.  In reality, it’s a very hopeful song.  It’s not focused on not being as good as he could be but rather showing the constant reach for growth and improvement.

When I hear it I think about how I want to be better than I am for my family, my friends, everyone, and especially for myself.  Not in a disappointing or hopeless way, but in the way of knowing that I need to keep working at it, that it’s a never ending journey to work to be better, and to enjoy the entire journey – the successes and the failures.  Each step slowly but surely leading me to be a better me.

Between the book and the song I’ve been thinking about the gap a lot tonight.  I’ve got a long ways to go, but I also know I’ve made a lot of progress.  Something about both halves of that last statement makes me smile and brings me joy…  and I’m very thankful for that today.

Thanks!!!

 

Better Man – Judah & the Lion

Oh that I would go through storms
Know my soul is better for it
Oh my heart to face the pain
My mind, it’d move past yesterday

No, I just want to be a better man
No, I just want to be a better man
As I go

All my life that I would grow
Like a flower that comes up from a seed that’s sown
The spirit now to rise within
Reign over my carnal skin

No, I just want to be a better man
No, I just want to be a better man
As I go

And oh I just want to be a better man
And oh I just want to be a better man, yeah
And oh I just want to be a better man
And oh I just want to be a better man
As I go

Oh my hands to serve and love
My eyes to see and not to judge
My spirit now to rise within
And reign over my carnal skin

Today was one of those days that started out well, got interesting, went well again, got interesting again, and went well again.  At the end of it all it was pretty easy to see an ongoing theme and that’s why today’s blog seems appropriate.

This morning life was going well, there was a scheduling issue at work that we were able to work through, but everything else was moving along well.  Even Gavin was ahead of the game and ready for school over 30 minutes before he needed to be.   And then Becky went to start the car…  and the battery was dead.

There’s always a choice to be made, get angry and upset or be cool calm and collected.  In the case of Becky today, she set the stage for all of us to follow today.

Instead of being angry or frustrated she came in with a smile on her face and filled me in on the battery situation.  She threw a couple of options out there and gave me a minute to take a deep breath so I could stay calm too.   We went with the plan that made the most sense (me take the car with the dead battery and get it replaced), and that was that.

On my way to work I was still early and I took advantage of being early and in the right place at the right time.  Even though it was -9 before windchill I drove up to the top of Garvin Heights, ran out of my car to the overlook, and took this picture of the beautiful moonset / sunrise…

Almost all of the work day went very well and I was able to have a very productive day…  until…

Becky called to let me know that she had a flat tire on the offramp on I90.  She was totally cool & calm, kind of laughing it off.  I again took a deep breath, followed her lead, and decided to leave a little early to head down to change the tire for her.  A couple of minutes later she called and said based on how cold it was and the convenient location of Tires Plus to where she was located she decided to call a tow truck.  Once I got there and felt the windchill I knew she’d made the right call, it was way too cold to attempt that with the lame little jack in the car.

We had the car towed to Tires Plus and started to make plans for tomorrow thinking we’d only have one vehicle.  As luck would have it they not only had two of the correct tires, they also had time to put them on tonight for us!  Disaster averted and all was good again.

As the night is wrapping up I’m smiling at how much we’ve accomplished tonight, looking at my old Boy Scout merit badge sash and planning a long weekend of camping this summer.  We’ve been joking around about the events today and taking a deep breath, staying calm and realizing how much worse any of these scenarios could have been today.

The reason we’re all chill and having a great night is because Becky totally set the tone.  She didn’t get upset, angry, or frustrated, she stayed cool and calm…  and helped me get there too.

Thanks!!!

For many years Becky and I have tossed around the idea of going through all of our pictures from the past year on New Year’s Eve.  The thought was that is would be a pretty fantastic way to remember all of the fun we’ve had in the past year.  Every time we’d thought about it we got busy and found ourselves not having enough time to go through them as a family.

This year we decided it was the right year to start a new Kreiling family tradition so we started going through all of our pictures on January 30 and wrapped up the second half of 2017 tonight.  If the number of pictures taken in a year is any indicator of how awesome a year was I’m thinking my post from yesterday was spot on!  There were over 3,000 pictures taken this year and we went through each and every one.  Don’t get me wrong, I often took 3-6 to get one that turned out right, but even still that’s a lot of great moments caught on film.

What I appreciated the most about going through it was the giggling as we saw all pictures, good and bad.  There were some that we didn’t mean to be humorous that were and others that were meant to be funny that were a riot!  We were constantly laughing and giving each other a hard time.

Another part of the two night event that I am grateful for was the repeating and sharing of stories.  Many pictures elicited a response of “do you remember…”  It was great!  By going back through those pictures we had our memories fired back up and talked about them again.

The part that I am most thankful for about this new family tradition is spending time together as a family.  All four of us were together to go through the pictures.  When someone left the room we paused.  When someone fell asleep we gave them a hard time and woke them up before proceeding.  It was great!  Wonderful bonding time together remembering the events from the past year that have slowly but surely shaped us into who we are.  How awesome is that???

Next year we’ll just plan on it being a two night event and find new ways to make it more exciting.  Maybe there will be more pictures, but maybe there will be less.  Regardless, I am already looking forward to it because it will be a fantastic time together as a family remembering our adventures!

Thanks!!!

Today has been a very productive one!  As we get closer to our next vacation I’m working on getting at least half way through my book so I can shave my beard (in case you missed it you can find the reason for my beard here) so I can snorkel without having a leaky face mask!

Earlier this morning we went as a family to Caribou for coffee and to chill.  Becky read a paper for her PhD program, the boys were reading books, and I was typing away on my book.  Later in the day the boys were playing and then reading, Becky ran a couple of errands, and I was typing away on my book.

At this point I’m about one half of a chapter from being halfway done, my progress tripwire to shave this thing off my face, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be past halfway by this time tomorrow.  The progress itself feels great, but there’s been so much more that I’m thankful for with writing it.

As I go through each day it brings back memories, happy and sad, about my dad as well as many other loved ones.  Typing it is helping me wrap my brain around losing Dad and it’s helping me learn and grow.  Obviously I miss him, but as I type I can’t help but smile and feel joy in the memories I have with him.

It’s also been rewarding as I think of everyone who’s helped me on this stretch of my life.  Today in particular one of the chapters I worked on was focused on my little brother, Nick.  As I typed I was smiling and looking back to so many of the memories we have and the fun we’ve had over the past 6 months or so.  It was awesome!

Today progress was made, tomorrow more will be made.  It feels great to be working towards this purpose and I can’t wait to shave this scratchy thing off my face 🙂

Thanks!!!

Today has been pretty damn awesome.  So many positives that it’s tough to even figure out where to start.  Being told by a teammate that I “blew her mind” with some training, helping someone stranded on the side of the road, going to yoga for the second time in three days, looking back on some wonderful memories from last year, and having an excellent conversation with another teammate all are things I was thankful for today.

When I got to the Eau Claire office today I was greeted with a surprise Christmas present from all of my teams – it was AWESOME!!!

The team all know that I am planning on taking a trip to Iceland one day and I’ve set a goal for myself of learning to speak conversational Icelandic before the end of 2018.  With that in mind they all chipped in to get me an audio learning program to learn to speak that crazy language!  Not only that, but they also got me a tshirt with the longest word in Icelandic written around the flag (Vaðlaheiðarvegavinnuverkfærageymsluskúraútidyralyklakippuhringur – which surely everyone knows means “A keychain ring for the outdoor key of road workers shed in a moor called Vaðlaheiði”).  How awesome is that???

The Poo-Pouri still has me laughing out loud and I can’t wait to crack a cold one from the gnarly Leinie’s beer caddy using the Leinie’s wooden bottle opener.  On my way home I already started my first Icelandic lesson and learned how to say “talar þú ensku” – which means “do you speak English?”  It was one of the best rides home ever!

Today I’m so thankful for this gift from my teams, I can’t thank them enough for the thought they put into this!  Thank you everyone, I greatly appreciate it!!!

Thanks!!!

While Becky was getting her haircut tonight the boys and I busted out a game they’d gotten a while back that we haven’t played in quite a while – Boss Monster. After a quick YouTube video primer on how to play we were off to the races… or should I say “dungeons!”

After dozens and dozens of heroes met their demise in our dungeons we were all smiling, laughing, and having a blast!

I’ve loved playing games ever since I was a kid, and strategy based games have always been my favorite. Knowing that the boys love playing the same types of games makes me smile huge… and gives me competitors to play with! We play with the intent of having fun, but we usually don’t hold back any punches. It’s fun watching how they each develop their own strategy and then see how they’re able snatch victory out of my hands just when I think I have it all wrapped up.

Win or lose, we always end up having a great time because we’re playing games and having fun together. Tonight was one of those moments when I was very thankful for my gaming buddies, I’m glad they enjoy the same types of games that love playing.

Thanks!!!

“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” – Carolyn Dweck

Growth Mindset is one of my core values and one of the three values of my work team. While I hold it near and dear to my heart I don’t live it as fully and completely all the time as I’d like to. There are moments when my mindset slips to fixed and I need to take a deep breath and flip the switch back to growth.

A few years ago my partner Norm suggested that I watch for those moments in which I’m in a Growth Mindset and a Fixed one and look at what the triggers or primers were that helped to put me in that place. I’m certainly not perfect at it, but I’ve been more and more conscious of those triggers. As I’ve started noticing them I’m learning ways to help either keep me there or push me out of the wrong mindset.

Becky and I went to yoga tonight and our favorite yogi, Nick, was teaching. As usual he started off with a little story and something to keep in mind while we practiced tonight. Funny thing was that even though I hadn’t gone in well over a month I had what felt like one of the best yoga sessions I’ve had!

Everything flexed a little further. I was able to focus a little better. My muscles all felt stronger than they had any right to. As we cooled down and I took it all in I smiled and realized that much of the reason for feeling so awesome was that I was able to get into a Growth Mindset. I felt like a beginner, I trusted my teacher, I tried new ways without any fear of failure. Sure, I stumbled and tumbled a couple of times, but I felt awesome!

When I thought back to the beginning of the session I realized that Nick helped me tap right into the learner in me and judged me into a Growth Mindset. He started off class by telling us all of something that he learned from a friend of his recently. “If we don’t push against normal, what we’re used to, it’ll always be the same. We need to push a little, stretch a little, and see what else is possible.” As he spoke I nodded and took it all in. It triggered my mind to think like a total newbie and try what I hadn’t tried. Chance of failure? Bring it on! I was primed and ready with a growth mindset..

One simple phrase and my mindset was primed and ready, how crazy is that? The next time I feel the Fixed Mindset starting to sink in I’m going to think back to this story and smile. Sorry Fixed Mindset, but your way cooler cousin, Growth Mindset is here and I’m going to chill with her instead. We’re going to try some cool new stuff that may or may not work out, but regardless of the outcome ILLC be better off in the long run.

Thanks!!!

While I typically try to find something new that I haven’t been thankful for before, today’s focus is still near and dear to my heart.  As we drove home from church today my brain kept going back to it and we listened on the ride home.

Throughout my whole life I’d struggled a bit with the entire Christmas story.  It’s a nice story, but I couldn’t quite figure out why God would send His son to Earth.  I mean I get it conceptually, but there was just something that didn’t sit well with me from a logical standpoint.  I can closely relate to the man in the story as Paul explains him, I can understand where he’s coming from.

As the story goes on I keep agreeing with his actions and can feel his frustration.  It strikes a chord unlike any other hits for me.  When the story finally comes to its conclusion I can see the bigger picture and I get it.  Even today it still has the ability to bring a tear or two to my eye.

Hearing that story again was exactly what the doctor ordered, it helped me get my heart in the right place for the day.  We were greeters and gift bearers at church this morning and it felt great to help start people’s church experience with a big smile and a “Merry Christmas!”  That part felt great, the fellowship.

Even with that great feeling it still seemed something was missing.  I kept trying to figure it out and make the connection, but it wasn’t until as church was complete that it hit me.  I was missing one of the biggest pieces and I needed something specific, I needed to hear this story again to help me focus on the right thing.

As you wrap up your Christmas evening I hope this short story helps bring a smile to your face and some extra warmth to your heart.  Merry Christmas!!!

Thanks!!!