On our run this morning the weather was pretty much perfect.  There was almost zero wind.  The water was almost perfectly still.  At one point I watched a fish jump and the ensuing ripple slowly spread seemingly forever across the water.  The temperature was mid forties, just cool enough to not get too hot and not so cold to not be chilled.  It was quiet except for the birds and a train.  Weird as it might sound, I found the rhythymic rattle of the train to be quite soothing.  After we’d turned and were heading back along the beach the sunrise turned the sky a spectacularly purplish pink.  You could tell where the sun was about to pop up as there was a magnificent beam of light going straight up into the sky like a beacon.  The stillness of the water reflecting the glorious pre-sunrise sky only increased the beauty.  What a wonderful sight it was, especially early in the morning.  I couldn’t help but smile wide as I gazed at it (we’d stopped to slowly walk and enjoy the view).

Sometimes people ask how I can be happy all the time.  Truth be told, I’m not.  That’s actually one of the reasons I type my blog each day.  It’s a learned behavior to remind me to be thankful.  When my mind strays from gratitude my joy decreases significantly.  In no time I can become pessimistic, frustrated, judgmental, and generally unhappy.  That’s where I found myself this afternoon.  I wasn’t in a very good mood.  Nothing bad had happened or anything, I was just getting frustrated.  Being thankful for anything was the last thing from my brain.  I caught myself wishing things were different.  Instead of thinking from the standpoint of acceptance and action I moved to wishing and pausing.  Realizing where my head went only made it worse and I could feel myself starting to spiral.  So what do to about it?

Well, I asked myself – in a condescending and cynical way – what am I thankful for today?  Before I completed the question I was reminded of the pre-sunrise sky.  When I’d watched it I’d already started writing a blog about it in my brain.  In that moment I was making the choice to be happy and choose an attitude of gratitude.  All of the negative things were still going on around me but I chose to focus on being in the present and being grateful for what I had; perfect weather, my favorite running partner, exercise in the morning, and a spectacular view.  As I thought back to the sunrise I realized that everything was pretty much the same as it was then, I was just choosing my attitude… and I could do that again now.

Suddenly I started being thankful for the ability to go for a family bike ride, to enjoy the fresh air, to appreciate the successes my teams are having, to push forward and grow, and so many of the blessings all around me.  Sure, there were some setbacks and frustrations today, but why focus on them and let them bring me down?  they are opportunities for me to grow.  I’ve survived them all and will continue to improve.  What else could a guy ask for, right?

Long story short, my day has become infinitely better by choosing my attitude.  Even choosing to write this blog earlier than normal has had an impact.  I can feel my attitude and joy increasing as I realize there is so much to be thankful for.  Just think, being able to flip the switch from being frustrated and ornery to happy and joyful just by remembering a beautiful pre-sunrise?  I’m so thankful it reminded me to choose the right attitude today!

Thanks!!!

 

There were more than a few times today when I had to pause and recognize the progress I’ve made in certain areas.  At times I caught myself doing the right thing by not taking action and pausing to allow room for others.  At other times I caught myself taking action when I previously would not have.  In either case I paused and took a second to see how I’ve made progress over the past weeks, months, and days.

Similarly, there more than a few times today when I had to pause and realize that I had opportunities for improvement.  Sometimes it was when I caught myself not taking action when I should have.  Other times I was jumping in when I should have paused.  In either type of situation I realized that I have a long ways to grow and much progress to make.

How interesting to have both thought patterns co-existing equally on the same day?  Today I’m thankful for both sensations as it helps me appreciate something else; I’m taking time to pause and examine the gap.

Father Mark always did such an amazing job of talking about recognizing the gap between who we are and who we are called to be.  He reminded us to be cognizant of it and to find ways to close it.  A day filled with mixed emotions like this helps me see that I am indeed paying attention to it.  It also is a day that helps me see that while I’ve made progress I still have a long ways to go.

For clarity, that’s not a cry for help or anything like that, rather it is a very healthy understanding and acceptance of my current shortcomings.  Today there were several things that I look back upon and realize I should’ve done or handled differently.  In recognizing them I’m able to start thinking ahead to how to handle them differently in the future.  By recognizing the gap I can work to close the gap.

On the flip side, it is nice to see progress made as well.  If there’s only ever the gap I’m looking at it would be so difficult to stay upbeat and willing to keep pushing forward.  If there were no signs of success it would be tough to motivate myself to push ahead and grow.  Growth is difficult and involves change, status quo is always the easiest option.  In seeing progress I’m reminded that I have the ability to close the gap.  Even no matter how incremental it is within my own power and control to act the way I should at all times.  I’ve made progress, I can see the progress, and I can make more progress.

So today I’m thankful for seeing both the signs of progress and opportunities for improvement.  I’ve moved the dial in the right direction and I can see how to move the dial a little more tomorrow.  It won’t be perfect and I doubt I’ll ever get the gap completely closed, but days like today will help me continue moving forward.

Thanks!!!

A while back Gavin was looking for a book to read.  I decided to pass him one of my favorite books from when I was a kid.  It wasn’t long before he got hooked on it and was talking with me about the characters and the plot.  Once that started it wasn’t too long before I started to get the itch to go back and re-read the book for the umpteenth time.

One year for Christmas Mom went out on a limb and picked up a boxed set of three books.  I started reading them pretty much the moment I opened them and remember consuming them at a breakneck pace.  They were AWESOME!!!  Imagine how excited I was to hear that it was the second three novel set and there was another three novel set! I still remember getting the other series in one big compilation.  Over 1,000 pages of awesomeness in one giant book!

I read that book and the other series so many times in my younger years that the book started falling apart.  If you notice the cover of the book in the picture you’ll see that it’s been completely covered with duct tape.  That was my solution to help keep the entire book together and it’s still working a few decades later!

After Gavin kept talking about the books and moved on to the second series (the original set I got from Mom way back in the day) I finally decided to jump back in re-read the series I read well over half a dozen times.  It’s been AWESOME!!!  While it’s been at least a decade since I’ve read them I swear I still remember reading so many specific chapters.  So many great memories while re-reading the books and being able to share it with Gavin has been all the more awesome.  I’m so thankful I kept the copies through all the moves and all these years.

Thanks!!!

This afternoon I made more progress on my workshop.  At this point I’m thinking it’ll probably be a lot like the house.  Just when I think I’m done there’s more I could do with it.  Today I cut and painted the “trim” for the wall / ceiling transition.  Nothing fancy, just some 2×4’s to add a little extra color, close the gap, and provide additional storage capacity.  Once that was done I added some shelves behind the drawbridge style door to provide some additional storage space to free up more usable workshop space.  Throw in some cleaning and I spent more time up there until I realized as I started writing this.

The time working alone at times was very peaceful.  It’s funny how my mind wanders when I’m doing different tasks.  In some ways it’s that time for me to get all “namaste and shit” like I wrote in a blog post a while back.

What was very wonderful and greatly appreciated were the times when I had some help.  Both Dominic and Gavin came out to help me out at various points throughout the day.  Gavin helped me paint.  Dominic helped me hold up the trim as I added it in.  Gavin came up and was keeping me company while I made the shelves which were built with the wood Dominic salvaged for me from the pallet the table saw arrived on.  There were many moments of conversation, moments of silence together, and moments of teaching the why and how to’s of what I was doing.  Spending time with them while being productive reminded me of some of my favorite memories of Dad.  Looking back I am thankful for the opportunity I had to work with him on projects and learn skills that I’ve been able to utilize the rest of my life.  Being able to share that knowledge while spending time with the boys is priceless.

There’ve been several times throughout the weekend when Becky’s pointed out where we would be and what we would be doing if the Safer at Home wasn’t a thing.  We both chuckle and talk about how nice it is to have time at home with the family.  Over the past month I’ve become more and more thankful for the “bonus time” at home.

This evening something popped up on my Facebook memories from four years ago.  On this day only four years ago Becky and I arrived in Australia for our first trip there.  Seeing pics for that first day brought back so many happy travel memories!  That trip was flat out ridiculous and amongst the most surreal vacations of my life.  I learned so much about other cultures, other countries, and about myself during our two weeks there.  As has been the case many times over the past month I’ve become more ad more appreciative of the “bonus time” away from home we’ve created.

How interesting is that balance?  The funny thing is that when I’m at home for an extended period of time I start jonesing for a vacation.  By the time we get to the end of the vacation I’m starting to miss my home.  I love my time at home.  I love my time away on vacation.  How beautiful to be able to create both?  I’m so thankful of my time home AND my time away.  The balance of the two seems to help me learn new things, apply them to my life, and then repeat.  Today I’m thankful for that balance.  In the moment it seems like there’s never quite enough of either, but when I look back it seems like it always balanced out just the way it was supposed to.

Thanks!!!

Today I’m going to sleep with an incredibly full heart. Seemingly around each corner of the day was another reason to smile. To be sure, there were some frustrating moments as well; like when realizing we have a couple of windows that have some issues and a light fixture that just doesn’t want to get installed. When I look at the day as a whole those moments are so minor in comparison that it’d be easy to pass them by.

So why the heart full of joy today? Dang, so many reasons I am nervous that I’m going to forget a couple of the moments. Fingers crossed for a full memory!

* I had a great time running with Becky to start the day. Sunrise, exercise, chill time, and starting the day together.

* Even with taking the day off I still recorded an #EXPRESSingGratitude video – I love making those videos!

* There were a couple of emails I took care of even though I was out and they both made me smile

* There’s another woodworking project I’ve wanted to take on for a while and this morning I just drew it up and started working on it. Gavin came out and helped me out a ton! It was so much fun making it with him and spending time in the workshop.

* When we were at a good place to pause Gavin and I headed to Brownsville to pick up our boat for the summer. I always enjoy spending time with Al, he reminds me of some of my favorite people from growing up in Phillips. This time around we even got into leadership and Scouts. As always, I enjoyed my time with him.

* Gavin and I had a wonderful time on our drive back. We shot the bull, joked around, and just hung out.

* At one point after lunch I realized that I had just read what might be the fourth generation #EXPRESSingGratitude challenge. How awesome that it’s getting legs and running??? Just thinking of all the smiles we’ve all shared with each other just blows my mind.

* Gavin had some work to get done so I went back upstairs and finished the project – it turned out pretty sweet!

* The boys helped me load up the boat and then we all headed out onto the water for the first pontoon ride of the year. Getting out on the water always feels like the official start to the summer for me. Getting out with the entire family made it all the better.

* Dominic asked if he could take over driving a short ways into the boat ride. I’m not going to lie, it was awesome having him take the wheel. The huge smile on his face as he took over was one of the highlights of my day.

* After the boat ride I went up to the workshop and started installing my new light fixtures in the workshop. The work went fairly well and I was able to quickly problem solve most of the challenges I ran into. Gavin joined me for much of the time up there and was a huge help.

* We had a great supper as a family and then went out for a family walk. Three of the four of us had plans with others so it was cool to spend a little extra time together. There were a handful of times when Becky and I commented that it felt like we’d packed way more than a day into the day already. What a great feeling of progress!

* On our walk I got a text from a friend that reminded me of why I am recording the daily gratitude videos. It hit me with the feels so much my eyes watered a bit. In a short text I realized that this is something I will continue for quite some time. Quite honestly, this will most likely turn into its own blog post at some point. Let’s just say it helped fan the flames of purpose.

* Once home I was able to hop online with some of my best friends and enjoy time playing games and shooting the bull. It was awesome!

Throughout the day it was exactly what I had hoped for on a day off and then some. Time with family, time alone, time with friends, time in thought, time creating, and time being grateful. It really feels like I’ve had a week of joy just today. If this was my last day I would be leaving on a high note. I am so thankful for a heart full of joy today.

Thanks!!!

Yesterday I got an excellent and interesting email from a wonderful friend. They had some questions about blogging and shot them my way. Of course I am happy to help; they’re a great friend and they were asking about a topic I’m very passionate about.

I started typing my responses and quickly realized that not only was this an opportunity to help a friend. It quickly became an awesome thought experiment. With yesterday’s blog fresh in my mind I quickly realized this was a “check the temperature of the water moment.” I also saw some clues to my questions from re-reading Grit (the blog post from a few days ago). Suddenly a simple Q & A email became a self reflection device!

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to think and grow like this today! I followed my own advice and wrote from my heart and let the typing flow. In the spirit of sharing, here are the questions and my answers. To keep the confidentiality of my friend I’ve removed any of their personal information.

Enjoy the peak into my brain 😉

What was your vision when you started? 

When I turned 39 I realized I had an emptiness/unhappiness in me that I was getting really good at hiding from others.  I could feel it growing bit by bit and I realized that there was something missing in my life.  To quote one of my favorite songs by The Strumbellas, “There’s something in my mind that’s killing me, there’s something that this life isn’t giving me.”  What I realized was that life (or The Big Dude Upstairs) was giving me everything I needed and then some.  What was killing me and causing the broken feeling was a lack of gratitude for all of the many blessings I had in my life.  I wanted what I didn’t have, I wasn’t focused on wanting what I had.   I know, long explanation, where the heck am I going with this, right?  😉 

The vision of the blog was for me to find a system/process I could use that was easy to measure, helped me use the power of peer pressure to stay accountable for, and possibly a way to help out even just one person who might have been feeling the same way. 

What are your goals for writing the blog?

Similar to the above, but with a couple of twists.  The first and most important goal of the blog is to remind me to be grateful; to keep gratitude at the forefront of my brain.  As one of the mentors who shaped my faith the most once shared, “If you would be a river first you must be a reservoir.”  If I am not keeping my soul focused on living a life of gratitude I am not able to fulfill the second goal; sharing joy with others through gratitude.  My hope is that when I blog about something I’m thankful for it causes someone else to pause and be thankful for something in their life they may have passed by a thousand times or to bring back an old memory that brings them joy.  The first goal is to keep my joyful through gratitude and the second is to share joy with others. 

I haven’t ever set a followers, Likes, or other goal like that.  I’m very much a metrics person and a competitive person.  Those two traits have their places in other aspects of my life and I leave them there.  The reason I share the blog post on several media streams is to help me best accomplish the second goal.

What platform do you use?

I use WordPress as it was very simple and tied things back to my social medias.  The free version was great until I filled up the storage space for photos.  WordPress is very inexpensive and handle everything I need it to.

How did you get started?

Great question!  Here’s my overly short but 100% truthful answer…  I sat down and started typing from my heart.  I’d had a great day with two teammates in one of my offices that day and I wrote about how they’d done an excellent job.  If there’s a piece of advice I’d offer up here, just write.  Don’t think, don’t over analyze, and don’t strategize; all that just gets in the way.  Just type and you’ll be amazed at what happens.  😉

What do you do for motivation?

Quite honestly, the feeling of living into my purpose is the motivation.  There’s a gap between who I am and who I am called to be.  The practice of daily gratitude helps me close that gap and brings me a ton of joy.  The other motivation comes from the fact that I’ve written each day for over 4 years and I have friends who will give me a really hard time if I stop 😉

 

How many days ahead do you write the post?

You might be surprised at this answer – NONE.  For me the entire focus was to practice intentional gratitude once per day (and now with videos often twice a day).  If I wrote them in advance I’d be missing the point of doing it.  This means YES, I write every single day come hell or high water.  I have to work it into my day and it’s become a part of my life.  The feeling of not doing it scares me and makes me shake and squirm.

Why did you choose to post everyday versus once a week?

Once a week just didn’t quite seem enough.  Daily helps me focus on it each day and is a repeatable and sustainable timeline.  The other thing to keep in  mind is that some days I go long and other days I go short – there’s no requirement of how many words I write per day or anything like that.  I usually start with an idea (sometimes less than that) and just let my thoughts flow as I type them.  Taking time to do this each day has really helped me pause, clarify, and express my thoughts and feelings much better.

What else do I need to know I’m not asking?

Are you sure you want to end with an open ended question to a very wordy person?  😃

Write for you first, your audience second.  Focus on writing about things that help you grow and develop and things that fill you with joy.  This keeps your heart in it and will also share the authentic you.  Other people have similar struggles, challenges, and joys – they will connect with your honest experiences and you’ll help them greatly through sharing of your personal thoughts and emotions.

Get started right away, even if you don’t publish it publicly, just write.  It’s too easy to pause and overthink.  I still do that sometimes when I try to put together this big grand blog post.  I start thinking and thinking and thinking and next thing I know a couple of hours go by and I have nothing to show for it.  If I just start typing and let me mind relax it flows out of me.  I can always go back and edit afterwards – but only if I have something actually written.

It’s kind of like another comment from the aforementioned mentor, “If your faith doesn’t bring you joy, you’re doing it wrong.  Now ‘Joy’ isn’t the same as ‘Happiness’ and is often the opposite of comfort.”  It’s okay that it puts you in a tough place, it challenges you, and it is difficult at times.  That’s when we’re growing.  Through the process there should be a deep feeling of joy.  In writing you’re making progress, you’re growing, you’re viewing the world differently, you’re creating, you’re sharing, and you’re living.  I’m pretty sure that when it is done correctly The Big Dude Upstairs smiles as He sees you living into your purpose.  You’re taking time to think, to feel, to relate, to help, and to create joy.  Isn’t that what we were all made for?

Just my two cents… and maybe a nickel.

See what I mean? What a great thought experiment!!!

Thanks!!!

 

I had a shadow in the office with me today!  While it was awesome having the company in the ride up to the office (it was just the two of us in the office, all good from a social distancing standpoint).  After he got his homework done he pooped out of his office and asked if he could record his first #EXPRESSingGratitude video.  Gavin said he’d enjoyed recording the ones with me so much he wanted to record his own.

I’m so pumped to see he’s soaking up the gratitude value Becky and I have been focused on!  So proud of the little man taking action to show and focus on his appreciation.  It was awesome to have an unexpected Gratituder hanging out with me today!

You know the old story of how to boil a frog?  The one when, for some completely unknown reason, someone wants to boil a frog.  They place the frog in a pot of room temperature water and slowly turn the temperature up one degree at a time until it slowly increases to boiling.  The frog doesn’t notice the change as it is very subtle and not abrupt.

The changes of the past month and change have been quite the shock to the system.  One of the benefits of it has been the realization that I’ve slowly been boiling myself.  It started off slow and changed subtly over an extended period of time.  After this shock to the system it’s been eye opening to see just how much the shift has moved.

While of course I’d rather have things go back to normal I am very thankful for the shock  that’s helped me pause and how I’ve slowly boiled myself.

Thanks!!!

Over the past couple of weeks my teams and I have started reading Grit by Angela Duckworth and then spend an hour or so dissecting a few chapters together each week. Let me start by saying how thankful I am for this specific portion. Spending time with my Express family talking about what we’ve learned and sharing insights into our thought patterns has been awesome. I’ve enjoyed this unique opportunity to get to know my teammates much better. It’s also been wonderful getting back into the habit of learning as a team. What a wonderful way to continue honing our value of Growth Mindset!

Re-reading the book itself has hit me on a different level than I was expecting also. I’ve read it a few times before this and enjoyed it each time, but this time around seems different somehow. I’m not sure if it’s due to the timing of what’s going on around me, where I’m at in my life, or because I’m forcing myself to take it in smaller pieces (only 2-3 chapters each week). Regardless, this has been a wonderful experience.

I pride myself on not being a quitter and as someone who can fight through just about anything. That half of Grit (in the book she refers to this as Persistence) I feel pretty good about. There’s still much room to grow, but I already feel strong there.

The other half (Passion) is a whole different story. Of course I have high levels of passion for things, but the object of my passion seems to shift more than it should.

Something that really hit home for me while reading it this time was a quote by Pete Carroll. Quick aside – Dad has got to be rolling in his grave over this, he really did not like Pete Carroll. “Do you have a life philosophy?” Such a short and simple question that would be so easy to snap call yes only to realize that the answer was no. When I reviewed this section again I realized that my answer was much different than in the past.

When I’ve read this book before I went right back to a canned response that I’ve had for many years that has seemed close, but never quite right. Several mentors and coaches have pointed out its flaws and it has taken me a while to see what they meant. With the benefit of time and reflection I can see that my answer wasn’t quite on track.

Reading Grit this time around I have been thinking of this question much more and I’ve gone in a slightly different direction. When I answer the question from my heart I end up with something more along the lines of “increasing the joy in the world one smile at a time via gratitude.” I think it’s still a ways from being finished, but I can see it coming together in my head. When I view it as something to live by I can see how I am already doing it in some ways and I can also see ways in which I need to modify my actions. Hmm… who knows? If you have any ideas I’m all ears.

While my brain keeps noodling on this I can’t help but realize how thankful I am for re-reading Grit. For whatever reason it is hitting home harder than before and that’s something I’m very thankful for.

Thanks!!!

Thank you again to everyone for all of the anniversary wishes today! Talk about making a couple feel loved 😁 One of our neighbors, Margie, even rushed out her front door to wish us an in person Happy Anniversary as we walked by their house – how awesome is that??? Thanks again Margie!!!

We had a great evening together and wrapped it up by going back through old photos in our wedding albums. Seeing how much younger all of us were 18 years ago was wild! Where have the years gone? It warmed our hearts to go back through so many photos of loved ones. Each smiling face brought back memories.

There were a handful of smiles that brought back some extra special memories. Spending some time remembering our grandparents really filled my heart.

Grandpa O did an amazing job officiating the wedding. Grandma O’s always big smile. Hearing stories from Grandpa Thums when he was a kid.

Of all of my hugs with Grandma Lamping that’s one that I’ll always remember clearly. Seeing the picture above and also a picture of that hug were like getting a hug from her from above. What an anniversary present that was tonight!

Thank you all to everyone who was there celebrating our wedding with us, in person or in spirit. Your presence made our day all the more special!

Thanks!!!