Sometimes the sermons and stories that hurt the most also help me grow the most.

There’s been an assortment of homilies at church that have caused me to squirm very uncomfortably in my pew as they hit much closer to home than I would hope that they would. In those moments I pause for a second and feel disappointed in myself. Then I remember that this is all a part of the journey of being a human. I dust myself off, take a deep breath, and then listen close to find the way to improve the shortcoming. With a specific story or example in mind I’m able to take action on working on myself. I loving call them “Gap Sermons” as they help me more clearly see the gap between who I am in that moment and I who I should be.

Tonight’s “Gap Sermon” reminded me to check my ego more often. Instead of focusing on the acts of others and getting frustrated or being judge I would be better served working on myself first. How do I live into the best version of me that I can be? That should be the biggest focus on fixing me first.

What’s got me thinking deeper is that I’m seeing how this would be a better way to help others potentially change their minds. Screaming, yelling, putting up huge signs (especially those with pictures of Trump as “Rambo”) will never change someone’s opinion. Living into the person I should be and modeling that life for others would be much more productive. Be an example for others, but to get there we need to become the right example first.

Over the next days and weeks this will be going through my head as I listen to my inner monologue… Am I focused on living my life in a better way or am I chastising or judging the actions of others as I see myself and/or my views as superior? If the answer isn’t the former I need to pause and check my ego.

Last night Becky and I had an impromptu “Virtual Vacation.” When writing my blog I wanted to find a picture that was fitting. In the search I went into my New Zealand vacation folder and found the pic. After writing was complete I started going through all of the pictures we took on our vacation to New Zealand almost three years ago.

In an instant Becky and I were reliving so many incredible moments and memories created with our family! My mind is blown with all that we crammed into two weeks and by the fact that we only explored less than 25% of the country. So many experiences we will never forget!

Sure, it’s been a bummer to not be able to head out on the vacations we’d planned for this year, but there’s nothing I can do about that. Taking a virtual vacation, even if it was only for thirty minutes was pretty awesome. All throughout last night and today my brain has gone back to some of those awesome memories and brought me great joy. I’m grateful for the virtual vacation last night, we might have to do that again sometime soon!

Thanks!!!

While I’ve been working on reducing my phone time over the past few months. Over the past few days I noticed a behavioral pattern that wasn’t resonating with my goal. When I wake up in the morning I reach over to the night stand, grab my phone, and spend a little time looking at my screen. It starts with a quick check of the weather and can go sideways from there. The time I spend on it like that doesn’t benefit me at all and goes opposite of my goal.

I did something different last night. Before I went to bed I set my phone two feet away on my dresser. Where my phone would normally go I laid my copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

The alarm went off, I groggily reached for my phone, and I ended up with Meditations in my hand instead. Smiling, I turned back a couple of pages to a line that’s been stuck in my head for the past couple of days:

Beautiful things of any kind are beautiful in themselves and sufficient to themselves. Praise is extraneous.The object of praise remains what it was – no better and no worse.

This thought has been firmly planted since I re-read it a couple of days ago. In some ways it reminds me to put my ego aside. When I see something beautiful enjoy it, don’t attempt to label it, just savor the moment. Kind of like that line in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty that I love so much:

Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.

I’m also reminded to check my ego. When I do something that’s special, or that I’m proud of, or that’s the right thing to do – remember that I don’t need praise or appreciation. The act in of itself is the reward. Sure, appreciation is great, but it should come from inward. This one really hits home when I write a blog post that I feel is one of my best and is only read by a few. Why do I get frustrated? I thought it, I wrote it, and I was transformed and better through the act of it. Why be frustrated or rely on the feedback of others to make the moment better?

Throughout the day this thought was running through my head I looked for ways to live into it instead of accidentally having it happen. All that from one little behavior change!

Quick fun side note – when I’d re-read that line and thought on it for a moment I went back to my book mark, opened it up to the beginning of Chapter 5 and read the following:

At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself, “I have to go to work – as a human being.

How funny is that??? It did the trick though. I immediately got out of bed and got moving.

Thanks!!!

I’ve made it no secret that one of the reasons I get up early during the week is because I’ve got an awesome running partner. Knowing that there is someone else to workout with makes it much easier to get up and get moving. The days that we don’t run have included a lot of sleeping a little longer on my part. Today was not one of those days.

One of our learning sessions today was an awesome speaker and writer, Jocko Willink. He’s written two of my favorite leadership books Extreme Ownership and The Dichotomy of Leadership. The books are great, but his speaking and presentation skills are better.

Following Jocko on Twitter is a way to see how discipline is done. Each morning he takes a picture of his watch at an early hour as he’s about to hit his workout. Seeing as I would be seeing Jocko on live stream later in the day it only seemed fitting to get up and moving early. Taking a cue from him I took this picture before I got out of bed and got moving:

Instead of rolling over and going back to sleep I got up. I made the bed. I brought my bike and bike trainer upstairs and proceeded to knock out an hour of exercise on it.

That little extra swagger gave me a little more confidence throughout the day. The extra workout got my blood pumping and my brain going. It really helped me set the tone for most of my day.

Jocko’s presentation was outstanding and he gave us a handful of very useful leadership & self-leadership tips to help us all improve our performance at work and in life. One of the points that stuck the most is one that I’d already tested this morning… Discipline equals freedom. Be disciplined in what we do and we have the freedom to more.

I’m grateful for the extra motivation to get up and moving early today, I just might do it again sometime 😉

Thanks!!!

Last night was an excellent night of sleep! I often take for granted good health and usually only remember when that’s not the case. Yesterday I tried something different for my allergies and I could breathe through my nose all night long – Woo Hoo!!! I know, not the most exciting thing to be grateful for, but I certainly noticed the difference when I woke up this morning.

I woke up about 30 seconds before Becky’s alarm at 4am and laid back down in bed for a little while. My brain was already off and running so there was no going back to sleep. Instead I paused, reached for my phone, thought better of it, and then reached for Meditations by Marcus Aurelius again. A few pages of that and my day started off in a great place, focused, centered, and with purpose.

Our morning run had one of this moments that remind me of how much I love living near wilderness. Sure, it’s not a huge forest or anything, but it doesn’t take long for us to get to a place in nature without people, especially at 5am. After we turned around and were headed home we were greeted with an unusual sound. It was a lot like a barking dog, but higher pitched and, well, different. Hearing nature close to us like that in the dark was a very awesome encounter. Even our dogs decided it was time to run maybe just a little faster until we were a ways away. As we later determined it was a coyote letting us know that she didn’t appreciate us getting that close to her.

Hearing that sound of nature certainly true me into the present moment 100%. In an instant we weren’t just a couple miles from our house, we were in the wild. There weren’t any thoughts about work, thinking ahead to the day, or anything like that. There was only 100% focus on the natural world around us in that instant. Funny how that hyper focus on the present was a crazy form of mediation. I am so grateful for that experience this morning, it continued to chart the course for my day.

Another beautiful day on the water with my other team. So wonderful spending time with my team outside of the office and somewhere far from the daily whirlwind. The time together was great, the strengthening of our relationships was awesome, and the direction we’re setting our sails for looks pretty sweet. Sharing time doing something I love with my team is something I’m always grateful for.

Yoga tonight provided a couple of cool thought processes.

The first was that I am not able to focus 100% in the face of any distraction. The mosquitos swarming during our outdoor class reminded me of that often. As the Dalai Lama once said, “Whoever feels they are too small to make a difference has never spent a night in a tent with a mosquito.”

The second thought process was as I laid on my back watching the shadows slowly rise up and consume the branches of bright yellow leaves above me. In watching the shadows grow I was reminded of the passing of time before my very eyes. In an instant I was reminded that I am temporary, have an expiration date, and am moving closer to it each breath I take. This isn’t doom and gloom or anything, rather a reminder to appreciate and make the most of each moment. Time slips away so easily if we let it, in remembering it is passing we remember to live in it.

All of that brought me back to reading Meditations this morning. The pages I read were focused on remembering to live in each moment we are blessed to have. Don’t live in the past, don’t live in the future. Be here. Now. So many wonderful reminders of that for me today. Meditations, the call of the coyote, breathing, being with my team outside of the day to day, seeing how the shadows pass, each little mosquito bite keeping me anchored in the moment. So many reminders to live now. How awesome of a day is that?

Thanks!!!

Normally at this time of the year we’re heading to Minneapolis or Chicago for a few days of training with many other Express offices in the Midwest. We head to the event on Thursday morning and then train in the afternoon, all day Friday, and Saturday morning. In between the training we get a lot of time together as a team, usually doing a team dinner and spending some quality time together.

Due to COVID this wasn’t an option so our Express franchisor found a way to get us as close to that even as possible. We’ve got training throughout most of the week to keep us up to date on new ways to better serve our associates, clients, teammates, and communities. All the training is virtual via Zoom.

At the end of last week Becky made a comment about how beautiful the weather was supposed to be this week. The forecast was showing a sunny and hot start to Fall today and tomorrow. The lightbulbs went off and next thing we knew there was an awesome idea hatching…

Seeing as the training is virtual we can do it just about anywhere. With beautiful weather why not find a way to be outside? What if there was a different way to get some time bonding with my teams? Hmm…

With very short notice we figured out a way to take the teams out on the pontoon to the sandbar while social distancing. Using our mobile hotspots on our phones we were able to catch all of our trainings online while also having time to talk, share training ideas, and spend time getting to know each other better.

How awesome to find a way to share time as a team, spend some time on the water, get some sun, and still get some great training? It certainly didn’t hurt that we had some of the best weather I can remember to start the Fall.

COVID may change our plans, it is up to us to find ways to use it to our advantage. We certainly found a great way to roll with it today!

Thanks!!!

If you see me tomorrow just know there’s a chance I might look a little tired. One of the things I’m thankful for today might prevent me from getting ay sleep tonight. I even pitched it to a group of my friends that way. The response was spot on “That sounds a lot like, ‘this tastes terrible, you’ve got to try it!'” With that mini-disclaimer in mind, feel free to listen but know you’ve been warned.

I’m a huge fan of Dan Carlin. His Hardcore History podcasts are outstanding. Never in my life would I ever have thought I would find history so enthralling. When Dan shares what he’s learned in his research it helps me see the world a little differently. There have been many lessons I’ve learned through his podcasts. Heck, I even blogged about it almost a year and a half ago: https://thankful4forty.com/2019/03/20/day-903-thankful-for-dan-carlins-hardcore-history/

Imagine my surprise this morning when one of my friends told a few of us there was a great podcast we should check out. I’m always open to hearing new thoughts so I clicked on it and it led me to one of Dan Carlin’s other works, Common Sense. I had no idea there was a mother podcast! Clear my blog queue, there’s been an addition to the front of the line.

The podcast that left me thinking nervously about the state of our nation can be found here: https://www.dancarlin.com/product/common-sense-320-steering-into-the-iceberg

As an independent I was very interested in his thoughts and I’m glad I gave it a listen. There were several points in particular that caught my attention and helped me look at the world through a slightly different lens. It also left me with some nervousness and paranoia of what we may face as a nation in the not too distant future. Rather than get into the details I’ll leave it at this. Long story short, it was incredibly well thought, well said, and very thought provoking. I’d highly recommend it (you might want to make sure you have a supply of melatonin to help you sleep through the night afterwards!)

Big kudos to my friend Todd for sharing this today! I’m thankful for having a few groups of friends who are willing to share thought provoking reads and podcasts like that. We may not always agree, but we all seem to always get a little more wise after each of those interactions. Thanks for sharing dude!

Thanks!!!

Today I remembered to take my own advice and brought a book with me to the soccer fields. There were a few things on my mind that I wanted to spend some time in thought on. After a quick thought I put my copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius into the pocket of my cargo shorts and I was off. Not gonna lie, I was pretty excited to find that the book was just the right size!

Instead of just going back to where I’d left off the last time I figured I’d test fate and skim a few random pages to see what, if anything, stuck a chord. Within a couple of minutes I ran into what I was looking for and then some! All within three pages was the ark I was searching for.

First off, there was a great bit of info discussing how we turn our obstacles and frustrations into fuel to improve and grow:

Our inward power, when it obeys nature, reacts to events by accommodating itself to what it faces – to what is possible. It needs no specific material. It pursues its own aims as circumstances allow; it turns obstacles into fuel. As a fire it overwhelms what would have quenched a lamp. What’s thrown on top of the conflagration is absorbed, consumed by it – and makes it burn still higher.

Shortly afterwards Marcus shared an interesting thought that helped me remember to seek out those moments of solitude. Not only that, but I was reminded of how to find that tranquility I’ve found on vacations in the past. Obviously those are a no go as of now, but there are still ways I can utilize my vacation memories in very positive ways:

People try to get away from it all – to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like.

By going within.

Nowhere you can go is more peaceful – more free of interruptions – than your own soul. Especially if you have other things to rely on. An instant’s recollection and there it is: complete tranquility. And by tranquility I mean a kind of harmony.

So keep getting away from it all – like that. Renew yourself. But keep it brief and basic. A quick visit should be enough to ward off all and send you back ready to face what awaits you.

I took a page out of his playbook, put the bookmark in place, and closed the book. I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and thought about being in Alaska. I brought to mind the moment when we were sitting on the beach, watching the sun slowly go down over the mountains behind Resurrection Bay. Talk about inner peace!

When I came back to reality I opened up the book and went back to reading. This next one hit home as I thought about some of the thought processes I’ve recently had related to politics and civil unrest. I’ve been frustrated often and have complained more than I should. In reading this it reminded me to take a deep breath. As I read later as well I considered my thoughts as of late and wondered if I would have the same if I knew my last day of life were tomorrow. Absolutely not. So, if tomorrow is promised no one, why am I worried and complaining about something out of my control? How foolish and wasteful of the precious gift was all have been given? The gift? Today. Now. The present.

What’s there to complain about? People’s misbehavior? But take into consideration:

• That rational beings exist for one another;

• That doing what’s right sometimes requires patience;

• That no one does the wrong thing deliberately;

• And the number of people who have feuded and envied and hated and fought and died and been buried;

…and keep your mouth shut.

I was about to stop reading after that last line as my brain was reaching capacity. As I’ve admitted to, I have “Shiny Syndrome” and I caught something shiny on the next page. Highlighted from one of the many past readings of this books was the following:

Choose not to be harmed – and you won’t feel harmed.

Don’t feel harmed – and you haven’t been.

Bingo! There’s the money! I have control over only one thing in my life, how I view the world around me. I cannot control the events of the world, the thoughts of others, or anything along those lines. What I can control is how I react to, respond to, and interpret those outside factors.

Once I pieced everything back together I realized how some of the difficult decisions and situations in my life have all had one very critical and important common theme… they all have made me stronger. I would not be who I am today without the adversity I have faced. I am grateful for each of those moments. While they have hurt in the moment they have been the source of all strength.

Today I’m thankful for the timeless wisdom of Marcus Aurelius. The tremendous impact he has had on me and so many others since his life is overwhelming and inspiring.

Thanks!!!

A while back Steve and I talked about doing a camping trip on the river via kayaks. We all know sometimes life doesn’t quite follow the script we wrote so we were pumped to make the best of what we could – an all day kayak trip.

Becky was a great sport and woke up early specifically to drop us off 45 minutes or so northeast of La Crosse at North Bend. At about 7am in temps just below 40 degrees we got in our kayaks and headed out.

Thanks to the cold air and warm water steam rose form the water to create some surreal moments. We scared a bald eagle and it seemed to dissipate into a ghost as it flew into the steam. The rising sun shot bolts of brightness through the gaps to create a dreamlike landscape.

…and then Steve told me the back of my kayak was sinking.

Yup, you read that correctly. Somehow the drain plug had gone missing and due to my body weight pretty much maxing out the kayak and the weight of gear I had stored behind me the back of the kayak was just barely below water. As more water defied physics and rushed into the little 1/2 inch hole faster than earthly possible the back end then continued to sink.

I paddled hard towards shore and tried to find a sandbar. By the time I was aground I was sitting in a few inches of water. Did I mention that it was a little below 40 degrees? All we could do was laugh it off and fix the situation. In talking later we both discovered we have the same sense of impending doom and did our best to laugh through it. All was good afterwards and we were back on our way.

The rest of the trip was amazing. Spending time on the water is always serene, but this was even more so than usual. For the first two dozen miles we didn’t see a single there person on the water! It was just us paddling alongside countless eagles, herons, and even a young buck. Totally chill…

By the time we’d reached the end we had paddled 30 miles over the course of ten and a half hours. Not too shabby!

So here’s what I’m most grateful for today – the all day kayak trip. It provided time with a great friend. It was time spent entirely outside enjoying the area we live in. It was physically demanding. It was a blast. It was an experience I’ll never forget (especially paddling ‘uphill’ as my back end sunk!). So much awesomeness to be thankful for.

Thanks!!!

Ahh… the first fall run of the year… always feels great! Sure, it wasn’t the first true autumn run of the year, but it certainly seemed like it. The air was cool and crisp. The humidity was nonexistent. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The stars lit up the sky. The rest of the world slept as we enjoyed the quiet and chill of autumn. Talk about peaceful and relaxing. Of all the seasons to run in the fall is my favorite. This morning was dang near the perfect running weather and I was thankful for each and every beautiful step of it.

While we were running I caught a glimpse of a satellite going across the sky. I pointed it out to Becky and we stopped for a second to watch it. She suddenly pointed west and said “there’s another one!” How crazy is that? Two satellites! But it didn’t stop there…

When I looked close there was another satellite trailing right behind the second… and then another… and another… and they just kept streaming across the sky in a row. Once we to home I confirmed what we’d seen – the SpaceX Starlink satellites. Talk about something wild! Never in my life had I witnessed something quite like that!

Thanks!!!

Hmm… I kind of feel obligated to start with the most unlikely of the gratitudes this evening, but I think I’ll save that one for the end.

Most of today was spent with a couple of my business partners. We used the time to hit the pause button on the normal busy-ness of the day and take a step back. While there wasn’t a formal agenda it was the source of some interesting insights. Looking forward to the next year or several there are some opportunities that I hadn’t quite seen. There were some old solutions ready to be rolled out again in new ways. Long story short, I am grateful for the reminder to take time in thought. Had I not paused I would have continued to stay focused on only the present and very near future. By taking time to think and see how everything fits I am able to spend time setting us up for future successes bigger than those we’re currently having.

Throughout the day I was reminded of the power of staying calm. The Daily Stoic email this morning talked of remembering to stay calm. During our training time today I shared a story in which a mentor exhibited extreme calm in the face of a storm; so much so that I still remember it clearly over 20 years later. Calm, the practice of settling the limbic brain down, taking a deep breath, and focusing on logic. If I can remain calm I can survive any situation. So easy to do in a vacuum and so difficult to practice in reality. Each of those reminders have reinforced my focus on continuing to practice calm.

While typing the last paragraph there was an inspiring incident that caught my attention and belongs in my blog tonight. I’m sitting in the car typing on my iPad Mini using a mini keyboard as I wait for Gavin’s soccer practice to wrap up. I pause for a second and see the boys running. There’s a brief note of music and instantaneously all the boys and their coach stop, stand up straight, face Southeast, and put their right hands over their heart. The high school soccer game was about to start and they were playing the National Anthem a few fields away.

To be clear, I don’t mind if anyone is standing or kneeling, everyone has their own thoughts on that. What I found awesome was that in that instant everyone paused, focused their attention on the flag, and were Americans together. No issues with politics, no disagreements about anything, or anything else along those lines. They were all Americans together as one. How perfect is that? Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like this is what our nation could use right now more than ever. I’m thankful for being there to see it, it helped to rekindle my hope.

Last, but certainly not least, I’m grateful for frozen pizza. How this stayed off my blog for this long I really have no idea! Okay, so it’s not as deep and serious as the last parts of my blog, but c’mon… it’s frozen pizza! Any entire delicious meal in one easy to cook package. If there was only one food I could eat for the rest of my life and it had to be something with less than 15 minutes of prep time this would be it.

Thanks!!!