Dominic is pumped and excited for winter to come so he can go snowboarding. Gavin is very enthusiastic for winter to arrive so he can try out his new snowshoes. I’m… well, before this weekend I wasn’t very pumped for winter to show up.

In watching the excitement level of the boys increase for the prospect of snow that sticks on the ground I’m finding myself smiling more and more. I’m not usually a fan of winter. In past years my only excitement for winter was that it would be so extreme that I could finally talk Becky into our (my) plan to move to Hawaii 😉 This time around I’m finding that I’m borderline excited for the season myself… and for good reasons.

The boys are reminding me on a daily basis to think like a stoic. Winter is coming, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. The options of moving away for the season are not what I want, I am choosing to be here. If I can’t change the cold temperatures and snow from coming why bother fighting it? How can I lean into it instead? That’s where the boys come in.

There is a lot they could be frustrated about right now. There are many aspects of “normal” that aren’t happening due to COVID. Winter is only going to restrict us further. Are they sulking about it or complaining? Nope! They’re finding ways to stay active and focus on what they can do. Dominic is focused on snowboarding. Gavin is focused on snowshoeing. The idea of getting frustrated about winter isn’t even on their radar. They welcome it and are planning to make the best of it.

With role models like them who am I to complain or be frustrated about winter? Screw it, I’m kind of excited to get out and snowshoe. The idea of spending time hiking out in the cold actually sounds like fun in a slightly twisted way. Our morning runs have already been chilly, would a few degrees and/or inches of snow really make a difference? Haven’t we just spent the past six months proving that we can find and create ways to sustain joy even in less than ideal situations?

Boys, thanks for reminding the Old Man of how important it is to choose the right attitude and focus on the positive. I am grateful for awesome role models like you guys! Bring on the cold and the snow, I’m ready dudes!

Thanks!!!

I’m not sure how to explain this the right way, but I’ve felt more and more compelled to spend time out in the woods lately. Maybe it’s all the craziness in society, maybe it’s from the additional outdoors time we’ve had this year, or maybe it’s something else. Regardless, spending time outdoors has been even more appealing for me now than in the past.

The boys are outside at Scout camp enjoying their annual Spook O Ree so Becky and I found ourselves with a full day of nothing on the agenda for a Saturday. That in of itself is something I’m very thankful for. Becky has an awesome idea and we decided to head out a little later in the morning.

There are about six miles of new hiking and biking trails up on Grandad Bluff. The new trails are BEAUTIFUL!!! There’s an excellent variety of trail types from hard packed gravel to rocky. The views are gorgeous and provide some epic views of the the driftless area. Seeing as they are all new we decided we might as well hike the entire trail system!

Spending time out in the woods hiking brings such peace to my soul. Surrounded by nature the rest of the world drifts away and I’m able to be in the present moment focused only on appreciating the natural wonder all around. Sharing these magic moments outside with Becky makes it even more enjoyable. By the time we got back to the car my soul was filled and I felt totally recharged.

Something that added to the experience was the sun shining down almost the entire time. It’s been quite dreary as of late so the warmth of the sun was a wonderful addition to the scenery. I’m thankful for the cloudiness of the past week as it really helped me take a moment to appreciate the bright sunshine. The remaining brightly colored leaves were all the more brilliant thanks to the sunlight.

Ahh… serenity now. For reals, not in a Frank Costanza kind of way. 😉

Thanks!!!

Thanks!!!

So from an early point in the morning today my mind was focused on how grateful I am for remembering that regardless of the situation there is always a choice. Then my shiny syndrome kicked in and I went in a completely different direction for a period of time. Becky picked up some treats for some folks and sent Gavin up to my office to deliver this beauty:

YES!!! Lemon bars are amongst my favorite desserts and are totally on my personal Mount Rushmore of sweets. When life hand me a lemon bar… I pause, enjoy every single delicious bite of lemony heaven, and take time to be grateful for such an awesome snack. Lemon bars, proof there is a God and He loves us. 😉

Time to wipe the drool off my face and move on to the deeper slice of gratitude today.

No matter what is happening or what the situation is there is always a choice to make. Sometimes I can get myself all worked up and bent out of shape about something. If I’m not careful and I stew on it too long I can keep going down the wrong path and start to feel trapped, stuck, forced, and out of control. Before long I catch myself thinking ridiculous thoughts like “that’s not fair” or “why does this have to be like this?” Instead of actually dealing with the present and reality my mind wanders off into “What If? World.” The only thing that happens there is more frustration, disappointment, and denial.

What helps hold me in the present instead of floating into too much frustration is remembering that I always have a choice. There is always something I can do. Maybe it’s changing the situation. Sometimes it might be remembering what I can learn from this and seeing it as a way to grow. There are other times when it reminds me that I could take action to fix the situation rather than sitting back and complaining about it. Regardless, I always have a choice to make. In pausing to remember that I am choosing a certain path I put the ownership of it back on me. I may not like the options, but I always have a choice to make.

Today was one of those days when I remembered that I have a choice and it helped bring calm to my day. Funny how a reminder of the little bit of control we always have puts everything in the right perspective.

Thanks!!!

Several years ago I was turned on to TED Talks. The short 5 to 20-ish minute videos shared such wonderful insights on many different topics. There are so many wonderful stories, ideas, nuggets of information, strategy, and inspiration. If I wasn’t careful I could spend a few hours jumping from talk to talk as my mind continued to seek out new ideas and information.

Many of the talk come down to one or two truly defining lines. Those were the pieces of gold that helped me mentally catalogue the talk for future reference and examination. One in particular has stuck with me more than almost any other through the years.

Dan Conley has an excellent talk focused on measuring what makes life worthwhile. You can check it out at https://www.ted.com/talks/chip_conley_measuring_what_makes_life_worthwhile. In this conversation he brings up a very profound idea from a book written by Rabbi Hyman Schachtel. The basic idea is that happiness isn’t about having what you want, happiness is wanting what you have. Conley further distilled it into the following equation:

Our happiness is equal to how much we want what we have DIVIDED by having what we want. The more we want what we have the more happiness we have.

What is this concept in a single word? Gratitude.

Since I first viewed this video so much has happened in my life. Throughout so many moments this concept has come back to the top of my mind. Sometimes it is to remind me to be thankful for what I have instead of wanting more. Other times it’s to remind me that I have to find a way to want what I have – even if it is something I don’t want. In those moment more than any other it is even more important to to find a way to be grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. This one little phrase has had such a profoundly positive impact on my life.

To have stumbled upon it again this afternoon was incredibly well timed. I’ll be going to bed with a smile on my face as many thoughts of gratitude for so many blessings in life go through my head.

Thanks!!!

Pause and think back to October 20, 2017. What were you doing that day? What was one of your highlights? What was the weather like? Was it an early winter or an unseasonably warm autumn day?

I am fortunate and blessed to remember parts of that day with complete clarity. I can still sense the sun on face, feel the breeze on my skin, and smell the fresh leaves on the ground. I remember the sensation of a hug from above as I was showered with falling yellow leaves. I still hold on tightly to the message that hit me so deeply that day.

One of the ongoing benefits of blogging each day hit me last night and has stuck with me through today. In taking time to write each day I’ve accidentally started a record of some of my favorite moments from the past five years. Little details that would have possibly remained buried in my brain are brought back to the surface much more often than they usually would have been. I am so deeply grateful for this wonderful gift I’m giving myself!

What’s also stuck with me is that since I wrote this post three years ago I’ve visited this same place often. Sometimes it’s a quick yet reverent drive through on my way in to the office. Other times I walk through and take my time reading old headstones. A couple of weeks ago I caught a picture of the sunrise, and just this past Monday I spent time taking it all in.

Each time I am there or think of that place my mind goes to the same thought… Memento Mori… Latin for “Remember you will die.” …and I feel more alive than I did moments before.

As I wrote about three years ago (https://thankful4forty.com/2017/10/20/day-388-thankful-for-memento-mori/) this is far from a dark or depressing thought. Remembering that life is finite, that our time here will end, and that this physical form is only temporary are amongst the most precious gifts we’ve been given. In remembering that one day we will die we are reminded to live each day to its fullest. Another way of looking at it is put wonderfully in a song lyric:

I don’t want a never ending life, I just want to be alive while I’m here.

The Strumbellas

The experience I had on that day three years ago was one of the building blocks of my foundation of my view of life. Only a handful of months prior I lost Dad. Within a month of this day I would be picking up Meditations by Marcus Aurelius in the San Francisco airport while the boys and I were headed to New Zealand. In many ways October 20, 2017 was one of the most meaningful days of my life.

Tonight I’m thankful for the gift I’m giving myself of remembrance, and I’m just as grateful for a day that helped shaped me into who I should be.

Thanks!!!

Habit stacking? Yes, habit stacking. A while back I wrote about being thankful for habit stacking – the practice of intentionally using one habit to create another desired habit. When used correctly it’s a wonderful way to change behavior for the better. On the flip side, it’s also how negative habits can build more and more negative habits over time.

Today I’m thankful for my latest intentional habit stacking adventure. When I get into a TV series I really get into it. So much so that I could consume the entire series in a very short period of time. Spending that much time watching TV does not align with my purpose or the goals I would like to accomplish in life. As such I need to keep that habit minimized, but I still like different series to help round out life experience and provide entertainment.

What I needed to do was take something that comes very easy (watching TV) and combine it with something that I would normally have to push myself to do. For a while I was sleeping in on Tuesday and Thursday mornings instead of getting up to get an early sweat going. I wanted to get back into the habit of early morning exercise on those two days, specifically biking on my indoor bike trainer.

The habits I’m now stacking are watching TV while I ride my bike on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I’ve just finished up watching World’s Toughest Race and this morning moved on to the documentary of the the New Zealand All Blacks 2017 season (no spoilers please, I’m already fighting the urge to hop on Google and find all the results!). The weather is too crappy to bike outside but I still like getting my miles in. There are TV shows I want to watch, but I don’t want to take time away from other activities to watch them. Put the two together for 60-75 minutes on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and we’ve got a wonderful habit stack!

Thanks!!!

2020 threw us a curveball we weren’t expecting and hadn’t really thought about… school pictures. Seeing as there hasn’t been any in person school for the boys there also haven’t been the requisite school photos. Through a fund raising silent auction Becky won a photography session with a local photographer to get a new family photo. Seeing as we were already there we were also able to get pictures of the boys. What an awesome change of pace to have pictures that weren’t a 25% chance to include a smile of some sort, let alone one that actually looked like a real smile!

Late last week Becky picked up the finished product. When I went into the office this morning I was able to complete an annual tradition that makes me smile each year. I don’t replace the old picture with the new one, rather, I add the new one to the top of the stack of old pictures from the past seven years. Last year I even had to remove a piece of the cardboard backing to make more room!

When I add the new picture it gives me a chance to hop in a time machine and see just how much the boys have grown and changed throughout the past handful of years. My mind is still blown with how much they’ve grown, even though deep down I know the years are flying by. Taking time to pause and soak in seven years of change in a minute really reminds me to slow down and appreciate each day with the boys a little more than I would have otherwise. I can’t help but smile as my heart fills with the joy of seeing the kind human beings they are continuing to grow into.

Thanks!!!

On the drive home from grocery shopping I just couldn’t stop yawning. For some reason my body was telling me it was time to head off to bed. The funny thing is that I don’t feel overly sleepy or anything. After doing a couple of things around the house I quickly realized what it was. I feel totally relaxed and rejuvenated!

That weird signal my body was sending me was that it was totally chill, so chill that I could lay down and go to sleep. This weekend has been busy, but it’s been filled with productive activity along with fun activity like watching Gavin play a couple of soccer games while Dominic refereed the same couple of games. It’s been a sweet combination of productivity, home time, relaxing in between activity, and getting things done. Throw in a weekend that’s already provided almost 20 hours of sleep and I’m feeling more relaxed and rejuvenated than I have in a very long time.

What I’m most grateful for today is the deep state of relaxation and rejuvenation this weekend has provided. The past 48-ish hours have provided exactly what I hope to have each weekend. I’m excited and giddy to get back to work tomorrow as I can feel my energy tanks have been completely topped off. Heck, I might even get another 9 hours of sleep tonight just for good measure!

Something that I’ll certainly be thinking about over the next few days is what led this weekend to feel this way. Yes, there have been pockets of relaxation, but we’ve been largely in motion the entire time. It’s not like I’ve just been laying on the couch all weekend or something. Somehow I think I happened to luck into a crazy sweet balance of work, rest, sleep, activity, and choice of actions to take. I’m not sure how exactly I pulled it off, but I’m definitely going to try to emulate this in the future.

Thanks!!!

Last night I was in bed and asleep a little before 9:30pm. I finally woke up and got moving at 7:30am. Ten full and restful hours of sleep were exactly what the doctor ordered!

Becky asked if I wanted to go for a run with her and at first I declined. Then I grunted and realized that the right answer was yes, even if I didn’t necessarily feel like it in that exact moment. From past experience I’ve found that I have yet to regret getting some extra exercise in. Never. Not once. No matter how much I didn’t feel like it at first by the time I’m done I’m so much better than I was and am always thankful for it.

Next thing I knew my tired self was out the door running. Within a short period of time I was already feeling much better and more awake. That bonus run got my mind and body warmed up and moving better than a couple of cups of coffee would have. For clarity, I still had multiple cups of coffee afterwards.

The energy from the bonus run kept me going all day long. From taking stuff off the boat and putting it into storage to running an errand to hanging several pictures to cleaning up my workshop it’s been a go go go kind of day. I’m thankful for the time at home. I’m even more grateful for the feeling of extreme productivity throughout the day. Sure, there hasn’t been much time to sit back and chill, but I truly love productive days like this. Knocking so many things off the to do list gives me a greater sense of inner calm.

As I was hanging up our new family pictures I took down an old one that is one of my favorites. When we went on our first trip to Australia we spent some time hanging out near Sawtell. We’d later bring the boys back to spend a couple of days there as it was such a peaceful and scenic spot. From atop the headlands it felt like we could see forever across the ocean.

One of the days we were there our group split up a little bit and one person kind of went off on his own. Becky and I followed Martin up the trail up the headlands. Along the way I thought we’d already seen the coolest part of the hike, one of the many poisonous snakes in Australia. Little did I know that when we go to the top of the headland we’d have such a gorgeous view. It was up there that I took this picture.

Beautiful, right? Blue sky with some clouds. Perfect sandy beach with rocks jutting out. Wave after wave slowly rising up the beach.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized I’d accidentally caught Bill in the picture. Take a look on the furtherest back rock structure. There he is, sitting on the rock, looking out to the ocean, hand on his chin, deep in thought. How crazy that I happened to catch him in the shot, especially in the spot on the photo he’s in.

His presence in the picture is what makes this one of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken. One of the reasons I love this so much is of course due to the scenery itself and the memories it brings back. The addition of Bill in the picture really puts my mind into the right perspective. Look at how huge and vast the world is all around him, then notice how small and almost insignificant he is sitting there. The disparity in size reminds me to remember how small I am and how great the world is. In an instant I’m humbled, put in my place, and reminded of how small I am in the big picture of things. Looking at this photo brings me so much serenity and I’m grateful I took it.

Thanks!!!

How do I know I need to drink more water? I’m thirsty.

How do I know when I need to eat? I’m hungry.

How do I know when I need to sleep? I’m tired.

There are many ways I know when my body needs something. It’s programmed right into my DNA through 300,000+ years of evolution. These warning signals are great and they work as tripwires to help me live a relatively healthy life.

Some other things are a little more difficult for me. There aren’t the direct and clear alarm bells like hunger, thirst, and sleepiness. Rather, there are a jumble of signals all together that need to be pieced together in order to translate and put meaning to.

This morning I woke up exhausted. Last night I ate supper after 8pm. I had a drink because it sounded good and I wanted to take the edge off. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling as my thoughts raced. I felt a decline in motivation by the end of the day. I didn’t have my normal conversations with the boys because I felt exhausted. I didn’t feel like I spent any time with Becky. I didn’t sleep well and woke up several times. This morning on our run I was tired and just wanted to go back to sleep.

Thirst, hunger, & sleepiness are so much easier to figure out. What did my jumble of symptoms mean? So many different things that could come from many different causes. But when I stand back and looked at them as a whole, they meant one thing… I needed some stillness.

Instead of hopping in the shower right after our run I instead changed into a dry sweatshirt, set an alarm, laid flat on my back in bed, and covered my eyes and head with two pillows. I focused on my breathing. I chose to feel the beating of my heart slow. I thought about nothing besides the blackness behind my eyelids. I was never close to sleep, I was awake the entire time. When a thought raced in I did my best to quietly shoo it aside, I’d deal with it later. I instead laid with my mind quieted, my soul at peace, and simply existed in the serenity of stillness.

Fifteen minutes later I feel so much more refreshed, at peace, motivated, and rested. Yet again I’m amazed at the power of true stillness to bring peace to my soul.

Thanks!!!