One of the things I love about our family is our shared passion for playing board, dice, and card games. When we have an extra half hour there’s almost always a game going on in one room or another. Personally, I enjoy the wonderful combination of spending time with my family while playing a game that involves mental agility and strategy. Sure, I lose often, but who cares? It’s a blast spending time in a state of play.

We recently picked up a couple of new games at River City Hobbies in La Crosse. HUGE kudos to River City Hobbies as we had no clue what type of games we were interested in. We talked with the person working there, shared the types of games we enjoy playing and what we were hoping for. The next thing we knew he was taking us on a tour of about half a dozen games that were all along the lines of what we wanted. It was great having advice like that, I was amazed at all the options. Quite honestly, I probably wouldn’t have picked the ones that we did without their help. We went with the first two that came to mind for him and have been enjoying them ever since!

For reals, if you haven’t shopped for games at River City Hobbies or Jimmy Jams in Winona you’re missing out. The store is very clean, has a crazy huge inventory of a large variety of games, and an awesome team ready to help you out. Yes, you might be able to save a buck or two at Amazon, but you’ll never get the advice, help and experience like you would have at either of these two excellent local stores. If you’re looking for Christmas gifts for friends and family be sure to check them out!

The games we went with were Kingdomino and That’s Pretty Clever. Both games were easy to learn and are far from being mastered. The re-playability and ability to try out different strategies have been fantastic for both games. As is the magic of a great game there are multiple strategies to lead to victory and many of them are very balanced. They’ve quickly become family favorites along with many of the others we’ve picked up from River City Hobbies and Jimmy Jams (like Sushi Go and Settlers of Catan).

Spending time thinking, spending time playing, and spending time with family… What an awesome use of time!

Thanks!!!

There are several specific moments in my life in which I’ve learned much more about myself and the world than in almost the entirety of the rest of my life. They are those little moments of mini-enlightenment when the world seems to freeze, everything connects, and a profound thought sinks in completely. In those instances some specific aspect of thought, life, experience, and/or faith seems to be seen in such vivid colors, like the fog has been lifted and the clouds parted. The thought sinks deep into my brain and becomes a core piece of my being, a new paradigm by which I subtly make changes to my life.

Do you know those moments? I’m sure you do, they are the moments that make us who we are. Some of those moments are long in the making and others seem to be totally serendipitous.

In my life these moments have come in so many different forms and places:

• A smile at a wedding
• Walking in an old growth forest in the Pacific Northwest
• A conversation in a car
• Walking in a cemetery
• A comforting embrace
• Laying on a giant boulder all alone in the sun
• A random conversation in a coffee shop
• An unexpected handwritten letter
• Listening to a great sermon
• At a funeral
• While reading a book
• Flat on my back soaked in sweat surrounded by dozens of other people at the end of yoga

They seem to happen at some of the most random times, sometimes when relaxed and at peace and just as many in moments of extreme stress. Those little moments of mini-enlightenment shape my life in so many ways. When I want to force one to figure something out it doesn’t happen. When I least expect it, there it is.

What I find interesting is how seemingly out of the blue one of those memories come out of nowhere to remind us that they happened. Whether a feel of the weather, a specific breeze, a song, a place, a person, a tool, a picture, an animal in the wild, or any other relatively “normal” thing – there’s something specific that draws the memory to the front of our brain and reminds us of how we’ve become who we are.

There’ve been a couple of reminders of those moments throughout my day and I’ve been thankful for each of them. They remind me of who I am, who I’ve been, and who I should be. Their presence brings joy as they show me how much progress I’ve made while simultaneously showing me how much more of the gap I have to close. Those moments of mini-enlightenment have led me to my present, and I am so grateful for each of them.

Thanks!!!

Every so often I get a question from people. Each time I hear it I chuckle and try to figure out how to politely share the 100% honest and truthful answer with laughing too hard as it almost makes reality less believable.

“Do you ever get mad?”

Are you kidding me??? Holy crap, you should see me in my finest of anger riddled tirades, they can be quite the spectacle if I say so myself. Some are loud and explosive, others can be quiet, sharp, and cutting. Mad? Oh yeah, I definitely get mad. Just because I’m smiling often doesn’t mean I’m immune to anger.

This morning was a perfect example. I got some frustrating news in my email inbox. Within seconds I had myself lathered into a mini fit of rage. I couldn’t believe what happened. I was angry at others and I was angry at the system. After a few minutes I was even more furious with myself for letting it happen in the first place. I attempted to move on to other tasks but my frustration kept distracting me from my path. I finally took a step back from my computer, rested my hand on my desk, put my head down, and took a couple of deep breaths to clear my brain.

After I chose my attitude, the right attitude of acceptance, learning, and moving forward without anger I looked back up at my email. There in my inbox was a brand new email from my favorite daily email – The Daily Stoic (which you can check out here or at their main website).

What laid before me were the following words:

Successful, talented people are often frustrated for a simple reason: The world is constantly disappointing them. They expect everyone to be like them, to work as hard as them, to care as much as them, to hold themselves to the same standards as they do…

It went on to remind me that I don’t have the right to get angry. Imposing my anger on the world only makes matters worse. They shared notes from Marcus Aurelius reminding us that it is always better to be controlled and calm. One line that stuck was “If there are brambles in the path, go around. Why get angry? As if the world will notice or care.”

I literally laughed out loud after reading the email. This isn’t the first time that one of the messages has hit so squarely. About every two weeks or so I can’t help but wonder if The Daily Stoic somehow is reading my thoughts and proactively helping me out. Crazy how that works!

Thanks!!!

Spending time hunting with the boys and my father in law has led to some amazing memories, creating some new while remembering some old. They’ve both been deer hunting for a couple of years now, but participating firsthand with them for the first time has been nothing short of mind-blowing.

For the much of the day my brain has been focused on writing my blog on how grateful I am for all that Ken does to create a memorable hunting experience for the boys. From prepping multiple hunting stands to helping sight in rifles to sitting in the stands with them to cleaning and prepping the venison he’s there every single step of the way, sacrificing so much of his time and energy to help the boys have a great hunting experience. Seeing just how much he pours into hunting for my boys and all of his grandkids is inspiring and reminds me of what it means to leave a legacy.

What’s interesting is also seeing that the advice they receive from him is priceless and transcends hunting. The boys see how to prepare, how to anticipate, how to handle success, and how to stay calm and learn from mistakes. They’ve seen how to keep their patience, how to work hard, how to be grateful for and respect the animal, how to treat the land, how to treat others, and how to make a gift of themselves – all from Ken. Some of these things they may not have realized yet, but I’m certain that they will someday look back to some of these experiences and realize that they’ve helped to build their character and values.

Like I said, that was almost the topic of the blog, but not quite. When I think about the big picture I am even more grateful for is the boys continuing to create hunting memories with Grandpa. They’re creating more memories that will come back to them often and will bring joy to their hearts and smiles to their faces. Each experience is one they may end up sharing with their kids or their grandkids one day. No mater what happens in life they will always have those memories to warm them when they need them.

Over the past 72 hours or so my mind has been continuing to think of Dad. From putting on his camouflage GP ball cap to carrying his old hunting whistle to carrying his hunting knife there have been specific items that have brought back so many memories. The entire routine of packing up the night before, waking up early to head out, sitting in a stand, walking back in and sharing stories, and so many other moments have reminded me of those times with Dad. I feel silly to admit it, but I almost teared up when Dominic and I started gutting his deer. We both just kind of froze as we realized I’d only seen it once and he’d never done it on his own. In that moment I chuckled and remembered how Dad walked me through the process the first (and only) time I got a deer. I knew he was smiling from above when I made a couple of the same jokes he did 30-ish years ago.

This whole weekend has been like a giant hug from Dad wrapped in the arms of memories we created together. Even decades later they still bring back so much joy and love. I miss him tremendously but am so grateful for all of the amazing experiences he created for me. I am so fortunate to have had as much time with him as I did – and times like this weekend remind me of that.

And that’s what wraps me back up to what I am the most thankful for today – the boys are continuing to create hunting memories like that with their grandpa. Even some of the more mundane moments of the weekend may materialize out of the blue in their memories one day and bring about the smile they needed. Maybe they’ll be reminded of a memory they learned from hunting with their grandpa and smile when they see how he taught them through example. Some day far in the future they may be sitting in a tree stand one day and and be moved by the memories of their time with him and then love he shared with them the same way I was this weekend. What an incredible gift for my boys, I am so grateful for their experiences with Grandpa.

Thanks!!!

PS: My apologies in advance Ken, but I’m going to be sure to get a picture of you and the boys together during hunting season! 😉

Instead of sleeping in a little or waking up to get some exercise I was up early for a completely different reason. Today was the first morning of the Youth Deer Hunt so we were up and at it early this morning so we were ready to hunt as soon as we legally could be.

Gavin was sitting out with his Grandpa Ken while Dominic was stuck with me. Thank goodness he already has a lot of hunting experience to make up for my very rusty and sub-mediocre skills!

Sitting in the blind with Dominic brought back so many memories. It’s been easily 20+ years since I last went deer hunting and yet it felt so comfortable and normal. Of course, I wasn’t technically hunting and didn’t have a gun, but for youth hunt the young adult must have a mentor within arm’s reach while they hunt.

We sat and waited for the sun to rise and for the clock to hit the time it was legal to shoot. Being outside that early was amazing and the fresh air was so relaxing. Watching the does come and go was great, being so close to deer and wildlife was so peaceful. Almost a little too peaceful as there were more than a few times I almost dozed off! While there were no bucks it was a wonderful time outside spending time with Dominic.

Later in the day we went back out and this time Dominic had much better success. A nice seven pointer came in, turned sideways and Dominic took a beautiful shot. The buck didn’t make it very far. Being there in that moment with Dominic was awesome to say the least. He was so jacked it was amazing!

Throughout the day I couldn’t help but think back often on memories of hunting with Dad back in the day. Waking up early, walking out in the dark, sitting and watching the wildlife, and maybe even sneaking in a nap in the sun. There are so many memories I have with Dad in the wild like that and each of them make me smile big. To have the opportunity to create one of those moments with Dominic was priceless.

Gavin’s day didn’t go quite as well, but he still seemed to enjoy it greatly. For him to have time with his Grandpa in the woods like that is fantastic. I’m so thankful for the relationship the boys have built with him while doing outdoor things and hunting. Gavin will have many successes ahead of him as long as he continues to enjoy hunting, I’m excited for an opportunity to hunt with him the same way I did with Dominic today.

Dominic – congrats on the buck dude, super proud of you! Gavin – great job handling adversity and keeping your chin up, proud of you bud!

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to hunt with the boys and grateful for each of the excellent memories the experience brought back for me from times in the woods with Dad. What a gift!

Thanks!!!

A few days ago I had an opportunity to test myself. There’s a business we’ve been working on for quite some time. They appear to be an almost perfect fit our business and vice versa. After working on them for well over a year we got an opportunity to help them out. We had an appointment set for Tuesday, but due to an unexpected issue they had to re-schedule. When they reached out to let us know they asked about meeting late in the afternoon today. And that’s where my test started.

One of the reasons I love the book Essentialism is the sharing of a couple of deeply personal stories. In one the author shares the story of leaving his only hours old daughter at the hospital with his wife to attend a business meeting. The meeting doesn’t go well and he is guilt ridden over making the wrong choice.

Later in the book he shares the example of someone else who’s promised his daughter to spend the night together going out to eat and having fun with just the two of them. As luck would have he runs into some colleagues who invite him out to spend time with them that night. He starts his response by saying that sounds wonderful… but he’s already promised his daughter he would be spending the night with her and he wasn’t going to break that promise.

What a contrast, right? Which one would you like to think you would do? Which one would you actually emulate if the opportunity presented itself? As I’ve learned from past experience it’s always more difficult to live into the right answer in reality than it is in a vacuum.

Back to my conversation from Tuesday. When I got the email asking if we could meet at 3pm I paused for a second. In less than a second I had the two previous stories running through my head. I smiled, trusted the universe, and composed an email along these lines:

“Thank you for the opportunity to meet, we appreciate the chance to work with you. Unfortunately I will not be able to meet after noon on Friday as I promised my two boys I’d take them up north for youth deer hunting. Would it be possible to meet prior to noon or would next week be better? Thank you for your flexibility, I hope you can understand my need to consider a different time.”

What happened next had me smiling even bigger… Not only did I get an immediate email saying that would work, he started a conversation that”s now gone several emails long talking about hunting and life up north. We set the new time AND built a stronger relationship AND I was able to keep my commitment to my boys. How awesome is that?

I’m so grateful for learning from those two stories, they helped me choose the right path.

Thanks!!!

Two great friends each have me a wonderful birthday present. Seeing as I enjoy reading, contemplating, and applying new ideas to life they each found a book that they thought would be meaningful for me to read. I didn’t want to prioritize one over the other so I tried something different. Both books are sitting on my night stand. Each night before I go to sleep I read a bit out of each.

The content of the books is so dramatically different from each other. I’m finding the balance of reading a little from one and then moving on to the other is both enlightening and soothing. The duality helps to stretch my brain in fun and unique ways.

The first book is Zen Flesh Zen Bones. It is a collection of stories, lessons, and philosophy. The stories themselves are incredible nuggets of info that get my thoughts flowing. While some of them were written hundreds of years ago they still resonate so well today… maybe even more so today with all that’s going on. I’m thinking on the lessons I can’t help but see an exquisite compliment to Stoicism and my religious beliefs. Not in place of, but an addition to, an expansion of both. It has already had a profound impact on my thoughts and actions. I’m very grateful for the gift of this book!

The other book? Aim Low – Quit Often, Expect the Worst, and Other Good Advice. This book isn’t full of centuries old stories, lessons, and philosophy. What it contains are other nuggets of advice such as:

• No, I can’t, or I would have by now.
• Find out if a wrong answer could put you in jail. That will determine the right answer.
• Admit your mistakes and you will mature and grow. Don’t admit them and you might get away with it.

As you can imagine, I’m laughing repeatedly, deeply, and often when I read this book. It’s so cynical and off kilter that I’m caught off guard by the comments even when I have an idea they are coming. I’m enjoying it immensely!

What’s great about this combo is that I start off with humor and then roll into slightly serious before shutting off the light. The humor helps me focus on the present as the laughter leaves no room for thinking about other things in life. The deep thinking with a freshly cleared head helps my soul process the thoughts more completely. Sleep comes swiftly as I’m already in a deep state of chill. When I wake up in the morning the deeper thoughts still linger and set the tone for my day.

I’m very grateful for this daily dose of duality, what a wonderfully calming and joyful combo!

Thanks!!!

Last Friday Becky shared a podcast with me that she said I would find very interesting. It was an episode of This American Life from January of 2015. She thought the topic that would catch my interest the most was discussing internet trolls. The episode starts with a female comedian sharing her story of being trolled online and then she interviews her biggest troll.

I finally listened to it this morning and WOW!!! My mind was blown with the types of insults she had to deal with… and that was before someone trolled her by pretending to be her recently deceased father.  After writing about the incident the troll contacted her to apologize as he realized he’d gone too far.  The two of them then talked over the phone on a recorded conversation to get into his mindset of why he did what he did.

For reals, it is well worth the listen here https://www.thisamericanlife.org/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps , or at least worth reading the transcript herehttps://www.thisamericanlife.org/545/transcript. 

So here’s why I am thankful for this podcast today.  It doesn’t take a long view of social media comments to see how disrespectful people can be to each other online.  There’s something about the screen in between us that seems to bring out the worst in us sometimes. Personally, I know there are a few comments that I look back on and wish I wouldn’t have made.  Hearing this story reminded me to pause and remember the feelings of others prior to posting.  Follow that general rule of thumb of not typing anything I wouldn’t normally say in person.  Pretty straightforward lesson and reminder.

Going deeper, it was interesting to get into the mindset of a troll and see why in the world they would say the things that they do.  The more he explained the sicker I felt because of our society.  Each explanation seemed worse than the previous, including “your happiness reminded me of my unhappiness.”  The funny thing is that when I paused and looked in the mirror I know I haven’t always done well either. I wouldn’t rate them up there along with his, but I could feel some of the similarities in emotions causing the mean comments – envy, greed, loneliness, lack of confidence, and so on. When I’ve made unkind comments the source was usually an emotion tied to one of the aforementioned reasons.

The past is the past, and I focus on living in the present and moving forward.  While I can’t change what I’ve said in the past I can choose my actions moving forward.  The funny thing is that there is a very simple way to eliminate those negative emotions that cause the issue…  gratitude.  If I am focused on being thankful for what I have there is no room for those negative emotions to begin, let alone rise to the surface.  Long story short, this podcast reminded me that gratitude can power our society to new highs by bringing about respectful conversation and eliminating so much unnecessary negativity.

Gratitude, the gift that keeps on giving!

Thanks!!!

I finally remembered the other thing I was going to blog about yesterday! While it happened yesterday I was still thankful for it today so why not add it to the blog tonight, right?

After dropping Gavin off at soccer last night Dominic and I headed to the high school to pick up his homework and paperwork for the next few weeks of online schooling. We thought it’d be a quick trip until we turned the corner and saw a pretty long line of vehicles waiting to turn into the parking lot. Then we saw the line of cars coming from the other direction forming their own line. That line seemed to have the advantage as they were turning right and our line was turning left. My initial thought was a bit of dread thinking that we’d have to wait a long time for enough people to let cars from our line in. Not gonna lie, I’m a little disappointed in myself for thinking that.

What happened next was awesome. Each car from the other lane let one car from our lane turn in before them. Each car from my lane waited until cued by the car in the other lane to go. Over the course of 20 minutes there was only one car that broke from this every other pattern.

I know, it’s such a simple thing, right? But here’s what I’m thankful for. Isn’t this the way our society is supposed to operate? What a beautiful way to have my faith in humanity restored with all of the unrest in the news. Each person helping each other out, taking turns, being nice to each other because it’s the right thing to do. It’s not often that I’m smiling and joyful while waiting in an unexpected line, but I was truly grateful for my time in that line. Seeing everyone being kind to each other reminded me that we’re all greater than the divisive crap going on in the world.

This afternoon our Express Leadership Academy provided a very useful and timely training on COVID-Brain and how to beat it. The instructor helped us understand the biological reasons many are feeling additional stress and how our bodies are reacting to it. Most importantly, she shared ways for us to take a deep breath and beat it.

Some of the solutions included remembering to play, to explore, and to be curious. Taking time to rest and breathe are also very important and she shared the concept of a two minute vacation. The two minute vacation consists of closing your eyes, asking yourself four questions, and picturing the answers in your mind. We did a short version of this and it was very powerful. Little did I know I kind of accidentally stumbled onto this idea with our mini-New Zealand vacation a couple of weekends ago!

What I’m most grateful for on this training was the awareness of the impact of COVID on others and a reminder of the power of gratitude. When someone asked my thoughts of COVID brain I guess I didn’t quite process the question the way others did. I answered that I’m taking time to be thankful for the opportunity to live through this time. Yes, it’s difficult and stressful, but it’s an incredible opportunity to grow and become stronger. Living through a tough time like this is an incredible chance to be pushed outside of my comfort zone to create positive change in my life. I’ve talked more with my boys about resilience in the past six months than I had previously in their entire lives. There are parts of this that suck, to be sure, but I am grateful for the opportunity to live through this. When I focus on “what I can learn from this” and “how can I be grateful for this” even the most difficult times become times I can be thankful for. The conversation today continued to reinforce the power of gratitude to power us through anything in life.

Thanks!!!