Yesterday I got an excellent and interesting email from a wonderful friend. They had some questions about blogging and shot them my way. Of course I am happy to help; they’re a great friend and they were asking about a topic I’m very passionate about.

I started typing my responses and quickly realized that not only was this an opportunity to help a friend. It quickly became an awesome thought experiment. With yesterday’s blog fresh in my mind I quickly realized this was a “check the temperature of the water moment.” I also saw some clues to my questions from re-reading Grit (the blog post from a few days ago). Suddenly a simple Q & A email became a self reflection device!

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to think and grow like this today! I followed my own advice and wrote from my heart and let the typing flow. In the spirit of sharing, here are the questions and my answers. To keep the confidentiality of my friend I’ve removed any of their personal information.

Enjoy the peak into my brain 😉

What was your vision when you started? 

When I turned 39 I realized I had an emptiness/unhappiness in me that I was getting really good at hiding from others.  I could feel it growing bit by bit and I realized that there was something missing in my life.  To quote one of my favorite songs by The Strumbellas, “There’s something in my mind that’s killing me, there’s something that this life isn’t giving me.”  What I realized was that life (or The Big Dude Upstairs) was giving me everything I needed and then some.  What was killing me and causing the broken feeling was a lack of gratitude for all of the many blessings I had in my life.  I wanted what I didn’t have, I wasn’t focused on wanting what I had.   I know, long explanation, where the heck am I going with this, right?  😉 

The vision of the blog was for me to find a system/process I could use that was easy to measure, helped me use the power of peer pressure to stay accountable for, and possibly a way to help out even just one person who might have been feeling the same way. 

What are your goals for writing the blog?

Similar to the above, but with a couple of twists.  The first and most important goal of the blog is to remind me to be grateful; to keep gratitude at the forefront of my brain.  As one of the mentors who shaped my faith the most once shared, “If you would be a river first you must be a reservoir.”  If I am not keeping my soul focused on living a life of gratitude I am not able to fulfill the second goal; sharing joy with others through gratitude.  My hope is that when I blog about something I’m thankful for it causes someone else to pause and be thankful for something in their life they may have passed by a thousand times or to bring back an old memory that brings them joy.  The first goal is to keep my joyful through gratitude and the second is to share joy with others. 

I haven’t ever set a followers, Likes, or other goal like that.  I’m very much a metrics person and a competitive person.  Those two traits have their places in other aspects of my life and I leave them there.  The reason I share the blog post on several media streams is to help me best accomplish the second goal.

What platform do you use?

I use WordPress as it was very simple and tied things back to my social medias.  The free version was great until I filled up the storage space for photos.  WordPress is very inexpensive and handle everything I need it to.

How did you get started?

Great question!  Here’s my overly short but 100% truthful answer…  I sat down and started typing from my heart.  I’d had a great day with two teammates in one of my offices that day and I wrote about how they’d done an excellent job.  If there’s a piece of advice I’d offer up here, just write.  Don’t think, don’t over analyze, and don’t strategize; all that just gets in the way.  Just type and you’ll be amazed at what happens.  😉

What do you do for motivation?

Quite honestly, the feeling of living into my purpose is the motivation.  There’s a gap between who I am and who I am called to be.  The practice of daily gratitude helps me close that gap and brings me a ton of joy.  The other motivation comes from the fact that I’ve written each day for over 4 years and I have friends who will give me a really hard time if I stop 😉

 

How many days ahead do you write the post?

You might be surprised at this answer – NONE.  For me the entire focus was to practice intentional gratitude once per day (and now with videos often twice a day).  If I wrote them in advance I’d be missing the point of doing it.  This means YES, I write every single day come hell or high water.  I have to work it into my day and it’s become a part of my life.  The feeling of not doing it scares me and makes me shake and squirm.

Why did you choose to post everyday versus once a week?

Once a week just didn’t quite seem enough.  Daily helps me focus on it each day and is a repeatable and sustainable timeline.  The other thing to keep in  mind is that some days I go long and other days I go short – there’s no requirement of how many words I write per day or anything like that.  I usually start with an idea (sometimes less than that) and just let my thoughts flow as I type them.  Taking time to do this each day has really helped me pause, clarify, and express my thoughts and feelings much better.

What else do I need to know I’m not asking?

Are you sure you want to end with an open ended question to a very wordy person?  😃

Write for you first, your audience second.  Focus on writing about things that help you grow and develop and things that fill you with joy.  This keeps your heart in it and will also share the authentic you.  Other people have similar struggles, challenges, and joys – they will connect with your honest experiences and you’ll help them greatly through sharing of your personal thoughts and emotions.

Get started right away, even if you don’t publish it publicly, just write.  It’s too easy to pause and overthink.  I still do that sometimes when I try to put together this big grand blog post.  I start thinking and thinking and thinking and next thing I know a couple of hours go by and I have nothing to show for it.  If I just start typing and let me mind relax it flows out of me.  I can always go back and edit afterwards – but only if I have something actually written.

It’s kind of like another comment from the aforementioned mentor, “If your faith doesn’t bring you joy, you’re doing it wrong.  Now ‘Joy’ isn’t the same as ‘Happiness’ and is often the opposite of comfort.”  It’s okay that it puts you in a tough place, it challenges you, and it is difficult at times.  That’s when we’re growing.  Through the process there should be a deep feeling of joy.  In writing you’re making progress, you’re growing, you’re viewing the world differently, you’re creating, you’re sharing, and you’re living.  I’m pretty sure that when it is done correctly The Big Dude Upstairs smiles as He sees you living into your purpose.  You’re taking time to think, to feel, to relate, to help, and to create joy.  Isn’t that what we were all made for?

Just my two cents… and maybe a nickel.

See what I mean? What a great thought experiment!!!

Thanks!!!

 

I had a shadow in the office with me today!  While it was awesome having the company in the ride up to the office (it was just the two of us in the office, all good from a social distancing standpoint).  After he got his homework done he pooped out of his office and asked if he could record his first #EXPRESSingGratitude video.  Gavin said he’d enjoyed recording the ones with me so much he wanted to record his own.

I’m so pumped to see he’s soaking up the gratitude value Becky and I have been focused on!  So proud of the little man taking action to show and focus on his appreciation.  It was awesome to have an unexpected Gratituder hanging out with me today!

You know the old story of how to boil a frog?  The one when, for some completely unknown reason, someone wants to boil a frog.  They place the frog in a pot of room temperature water and slowly turn the temperature up one degree at a time until it slowly increases to boiling.  The frog doesn’t notice the change as it is very subtle and not abrupt.

The changes of the past month and change have been quite the shock to the system.  One of the benefits of it has been the realization that I’ve slowly been boiling myself.  It started off slow and changed subtly over an extended period of time.  After this shock to the system it’s been eye opening to see just how much the shift has moved.

While of course I’d rather have things go back to normal I am very thankful for the shock  that’s helped me pause and how I’ve slowly boiled myself.

Thanks!!!

Over the past couple of weeks my teams and I have started reading Grit by Angela Duckworth and then spend an hour or so dissecting a few chapters together each week. Let me start by saying how thankful I am for this specific portion. Spending time with my Express family talking about what we’ve learned and sharing insights into our thought patterns has been awesome. I’ve enjoyed this unique opportunity to get to know my teammates much better. It’s also been wonderful getting back into the habit of learning as a team. What a wonderful way to continue honing our value of Growth Mindset!

Re-reading the book itself has hit me on a different level than I was expecting also. I’ve read it a few times before this and enjoyed it each time, but this time around seems different somehow. I’m not sure if it’s due to the timing of what’s going on around me, where I’m at in my life, or because I’m forcing myself to take it in smaller pieces (only 2-3 chapters each week). Regardless, this has been a wonderful experience.

I pride myself on not being a quitter and as someone who can fight through just about anything. That half of Grit (in the book she refers to this as Persistence) I feel pretty good about. There’s still much room to grow, but I already feel strong there.

The other half (Passion) is a whole different story. Of course I have high levels of passion for things, but the object of my passion seems to shift more than it should.

Something that really hit home for me while reading it this time was a quote by Pete Carroll. Quick aside – Dad has got to be rolling in his grave over this, he really did not like Pete Carroll. “Do you have a life philosophy?” Such a short and simple question that would be so easy to snap call yes only to realize that the answer was no. When I reviewed this section again I realized that my answer was much different than in the past.

When I’ve read this book before I went right back to a canned response that I’ve had for many years that has seemed close, but never quite right. Several mentors and coaches have pointed out its flaws and it has taken me a while to see what they meant. With the benefit of time and reflection I can see that my answer wasn’t quite on track.

Reading Grit this time around I have been thinking of this question much more and I’ve gone in a slightly different direction. When I answer the question from my heart I end up with something more along the lines of “increasing the joy in the world one smile at a time via gratitude.” I think it’s still a ways from being finished, but I can see it coming together in my head. When I view it as something to live by I can see how I am already doing it in some ways and I can also see ways in which I need to modify my actions. Hmm… who knows? If you have any ideas I’m all ears.

While my brain keeps noodling on this I can’t help but realize how thankful I am for re-reading Grit. For whatever reason it is hitting home harder than before and that’s something I’m very thankful for.

Thanks!!!

Thank you again to everyone for all of the anniversary wishes today! Talk about making a couple feel loved 😁 One of our neighbors, Margie, even rushed out her front door to wish us an in person Happy Anniversary as we walked by their house – how awesome is that??? Thanks again Margie!!!

We had a great evening together and wrapped it up by going back through old photos in our wedding albums. Seeing how much younger all of us were 18 years ago was wild! Where have the years gone? It warmed our hearts to go back through so many photos of loved ones. Each smiling face brought back memories.

There were a handful of smiles that brought back some extra special memories. Spending some time remembering our grandparents really filled my heart.

Grandpa O did an amazing job officiating the wedding. Grandma O’s always big smile. Hearing stories from Grandpa Thums when he was a kid.

Of all of my hugs with Grandma Lamping that’s one that I’ll always remember clearly. Seeing the picture above and also a picture of that hug were like getting a hug from her from above. What an anniversary present that was tonight!

Thank you all to everyone who was there celebrating our wedding with us, in person or in spirit. Your presence made our day all the more special!

Thanks!!!

My mind has been struggling with my blog post all day.  It’s funny, in my head I know there’s a deadline looming each day… but it’s one that’s totally set by me and is completely arbitrary.  Regardless, there’s this little voice in the back of my head that’s always asking me, “what are you thankful for today?”  Quite often it is also, “is this what you’re blogging about later?”  Throughout the day my mind focuses back to gratitude for result of writing a blog.  For me it’s incredibly therapeutic and keeps gratitude at the front of my brain.

Let’s look at today for instance.  What am I thankful for?  The following have all popped into my head at one time or another (in no particular order):

• Blogging while sitting on the deck drinking a Miller Lite.  Yes, it’s not a great beer, but theres something nostalgic about it for so many reasons.
• Trying to create a new recipe that doesn’t quite work out.  Sure, it would’ve been cool for it to be incredible, but it was also great that everyone in the house helped me when I asked for feedback and ideas.  Not everything is going to work out, but family will always be there to support and strengthen me.
• Our anniversary is tomorrow and I’ve been thinking much about being married for 18 years.  Seriously, how did our relationship become an adult already???
• The short board in the middle of our living room’s hardwood floor.  I happened to catch the sun glinting off of it during home church today.  When I see that board I still remember the way Dad’s eyes lit up when we were putting the floor in and he saw that piece.  “Mikey, we’re going to put that one in the perfect place.”  He set it aside and waited until he’d found the perfect spot for it, right in the middle of the floor.  Each time I see that specific board I remember my time with him and the lesson he taught me that day.  That’s most likely a blog for a different day. 😉
• Cleaning the garage with the boys.  Seriously, it just felt good to have the three of us working on different aspects of cleaning it.  Now that it’s done it’s even more rewarding!
• Spending time with Becky just chilling while we walk.  So peaceful and nothing else in the world exists when we have that time together.
• Getting close to wrapping up a project and having a little extra time to start the next is a great way to spend a few extra minutes.
• Seeing the #EXPRESSingGratitue starting to get legs.  I just saw the first third generation gratitude and it made my heart sing.
• Starting a list of all the people I want to thank next week.  It’s wild how long the list is getting already!  I am so blessed to have so many awesome, loving, and talented people in my life.
• And many, many more…

When I think of all of those amazing things I struggle to choose one.  Sometimes I focus on finding a theme to relate most of them back to… which I guess I am still kind of doing in this one.

Days like today are amongst my favorite and happen more often than I deserve.  My day has been filled with so much to be thankful for that I struggle to pick one thing.  I LOVE days like this and am so thankful for them.  When I boil it all down these are the days when I have been most present, most thankful, and have felt most loved.

Thanks!!!

We knocked out the last hike for Gavin’s Hiking merit badge today and it was a doozy!  Well over six hours after starting we wrapped up and headed back home.  In that time together we saw so much wildlife, it was crazy!  Amongst the critters we saw were muskrat, mink, beaver, snakes, osprey, bowfin, other random fish, turtles, sandhill cranes, hooded mergansers, blue wing teals, coots, geese, mallards, warblers, dragonflies, butterflies, and a bounce of other birds.  It was AWESOME!!!  How cool to see so much of our local wildlife while being out and about.

Time out in the sun outdoors, viewing so much wildlife, soaking in the beauty of the driftless, getting a wonderful endurance workout in…  awesome.  Having the opportunity to do all of that with my family?  Priceless!

Under normal circumstances Becky and I would usually be heading out to a nice dinner for just the two of us to celebrate our anniversary.  Obviously that’s not much of an option so we decided to go with Plan B.  Becky had the wonderful idea of getting food from Lovechild to share with the entire family.  Why not include the boys while we celebrate, right?

The food was AMAZING!!!  For reals, it totally blew my mind due to its deliciousness.  Outstanding!!!  We had a great time enjoying the meal as a family.  For the entire meal the boys were totally polite and nice to each other.  Everyone passed everything around so we all had the chance to try a little of all the awesomeness.  By the time the dust settled we were all full and pretty much everything had been eaten.

The food was outstanding, celebrating our anniversary was great, but spending time with the entire family made it all the more awesome!

Isn’t it funny how when we take time to look around us we can see so many blessings, around us?  As I think through all of the gifts that today has brought I realize that none of these would’ve happened had we not had everything going on as it is currently.  While I can’t change the situation itself I have the opportunity to decide how I will act on the situation and what attitude I will choose.  Today I choose gratitude.  I am so thankful for the bonus time with my family!

Thanks!!!

Over the past couple of days I’ve greatly enjoyed having a buddy up in my workshop helping me out with my gratitude videos.  The first one was his idea to jump in for me.  Today I asked if he wanted to join me and he jumped right in – he even picked out who we were thankful for!  We wrote up a script, went upstairs, practiced a couple of times, and then recorded.

I’m so thankful for this time together for a few reasons.  Helping him get used to public speaking and presenting is an excellent skill that I’m happy to help him work on.  Showing him the importance of gratitude, especially for others, fills my heart.  Spending time with him one on one?  Each moment spent like that with him is priceless.

Gratitude, life skills, and time with one of my boys?  Doesn’t get much better than that!

Thanks!!!

Wowza, I wasn’t quite ready for all the love today! There were so many moments that filled up my heart that it feels like I’ve got about year’s worth of gratitude built up in only one day. For reals, this is one I am going to remember for a very long time for many reasons.

The day started with Dominic heading to the office with me in the morning. I was shooting a video for my Express family and thought he might appreciate the opportunity to sneak out of the house. We grabbed breakfast on the road, shot the bull, and had a lot of fun on the way there and on the way home. It was a blast spending time with him 1 on 1. As he’s continued to grow into his teens I’m reminding myself to soak in and appreciate these moments more and more.

To have the opportunity to spread the message of gratitude was AWESOME!!! The responses I got from my Express family from the presentation pretty much blew my mind. So many emails, texts, and messages of support and thanks. It was amazing!!! Being able to hear the smiles through the messages was nothing short of awesome.

Back at home I went back up to my home office / woodworking shop. It wasn’t one before I had a visitor, Gavin. He was reading while I was catching up on a few things. I gave him the heads up that I was going to record my gratitude video for the day and without hesitation he asked if he could record it. Why not??? Next thing I knew he was recording the best daily gratitude video yet. It was so much fun seeing him get into the spirit of the video! Without a doubt that opportunity will stick in his brain. Just a hunch but I’m guessing he might make another appearance or two in the future.

Watching the Express video later in the day with the family was great. I was so thankful they each had the opportunity to hear that part of the reason I can stay happy in tough times is because of them. They bring so much joy to my heart and it was so cool for them to hear that.

We went out for a family bike ride that should have been very uneventful. (QUICK SPOILER – GAVIN IS OKAY) Unfortunately Gavin had other plans and decided to accelerate while going down hill before a sharp corner. He crashed at full speed into the guardrail and it led to a wildly scary few minutes that involved a 911 call and police. After a handful of minutes we were able to confirm he was okay… though his bike was busted up beyond repair. I’d never seen handle bars that thrashed before! Why do I mention this in a blog about a full heart? Nothing like a couple of moments of possible loss to remind us to be thankful for each little moment we have. My heart is still racing but it is full knowing he’s okay.

Dominic made supper for us which was AWESOME!!! For some reason he had the idea that he wanted to make us “smash burgers.” They were DELICIOUS!!! He grilled up the entire meal himself and was smiling pretty much the entire time. So cool to see him getting into the flow and enjoying himself like that!

To wrap up an insanely heart filling day I then saw a video posted by my friend Johnny Adams. Wow. Awesome, humbling, and inspiring beyond words. That put me completely over the top and has left me with a heart that’s fit to burst with joy. Talk about an incredible way to wrap up the day!

So many blessings, so much love, so much joy, and so much gratitude. To each and every person who played a role in my life today – thank you from the bottom of my heart. This was one I’ll remember for ever. Thank you all so much!

Thanks!!!

Yes, I know, I know.  I’ve blogged about Meditations by Marcus Aurelius more than a few times over the past handful of years.  Here’s the thing: of all of the books I’ve read in my life it is easily on my personal Mount Rushmore of influential books (most likely accompanied by The Book of Joy, New Seeds of Contemplation, the Bible, Essentialism, and The Obstacle Is the Way – yes, that’s more than four, but I’d also modify the true Mount Rushmore slightly if I had the chance).

There’s been something rolling through my head often this week… I’ve been focused on answering a very specific question that is one that seems incredibly simplistic.  Aren’t those some of the most frustrating yet energizing questions?  One that seems way to simple when you first read it that your brain kind of glosses over it, gives the easy surface answer, and then starts to move on… and then you have that, “HOLD ON, WAIT A SECOND!!!” thought that causes you to stop in your tracks.  You pause, re-read the question, and quickly realize there will be no quick answer to it.  Next thing you know your brain is going a thousand miles an hour trying to figure out the insanely complex question you almost blew right past without a thought.  That’s what I’ve been having go through my head.  I’m really hoping you understand, if not I just might have shown a first stage of insanity 😉

After our run this morning I could almost answer the question but it wouldn’t quite roll off my tongue.  I paused for a second, looked at my book shelf of my most influential books (yes, they have a special shelf in my bedroom) and BAM!!!  I had it!  In a few feverish moments I cruised through a couple of books just to make sure I had it right and there it was… another awesome piece of wisdom from Meditations that almost answered the question.

Objective judgement, now, at this very moment.

Unselfish action, now, at this very moment.

Willing acceptance – now, at this very moment – of all external events.

That’s all you need.

The interesting thing about Meditations was that this wasn’t something Marcus necessarily wrote for anyone else.  It was his personal notes to himself, the lessons he’d learned about how he felt life should be lived.  The writings were meant to be a guide for him to study as he added new thoughts and observations while living his life.

Some of what hit home so deeply in this were not only the points themselves, but also the focus on now, the present.  That is definitely one of the keys to my answer.  Staying in the now, being present, focusing on what’s at hand.

I would love to be able to go back to talk with him as he wrote this.  There’s a piece that I’m not quite seeing but I feel he would say it is woven in it.  How amazing it would be to sit and ask him his thoughts.  Seeing as I can’t I’ll have to do the next best thing… guess.  Either way, I am thinking that the only thing that is not clearly (or at least cleanly) threaded into his answer is gratitude.

Marcus, thank you so much for taking the time to write your thoughts so that others may learn from them.  Today your words of advice helped me answer a question I was struggling with.

Thanks!!!

In his awe inspiring commencement speech for Standford Steve Jobs said:

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

I’ve loved this comment ever since I heard it the first time. What I’m learning as days go by is just how true the comment is and how much I am thankful for it.

Earlier in the day I had a beautifully honest conversation about my past recession experiences and how they relate today. As I shared past experiences – both mistakes made and lessons learned – I couldn’t help but notice just how much of an impact that rough time had on me.

That was by far and away one of the most difficult professional times in my life. Throughout that time I stressed about so many things, both within and outside of my control. There were times in which I had gotten so stressed and worked up about all of the what if’s that I couldn’t sleep and it was taking a physical toll on me. Quite often I would get frustrated discouraged and struggled to stay positive.

Today in our conversation I started to realize how much I learned through those times. While it was incredibly difficult to live through I learned so much about business, sales, stress management, and so many life lessons. While in those times all I could do was persevere and keep faith that it would all work out in the long run. It turns out that it did.

In going through our current challenges I’d almost taken for granted all that I’d learned through the last recession. Many of the reasons I’ve done what I’ve done and stayed as calm as I have through most of this has been drawn from that experience. Without that experience I can’t imagine just how difficult it would be. Now that I have the benefit of hindsight I can see how those trials back in the day have helped to prepare me for now. I can see how some of the dots now connect by looking backwards.

As I get frustrated, nervous, and unsure throughout this current challenge I am going to remember that this experience will help me become stronger and better for the next challenge I face. I may not be able to see how it’s helping me now but at some point I will be able to look backwards to connect the dots. I have faith that everything will work out and I must remain positive.

Thanks!!!