As I wrap up the last few items in my book I’m reminded again of how grateful I am for the process of writing a book about losing Dad. Each moment spent on it has been a moment of growth, memory, and love. By focusing so deeply on this topic I have had the opportunity to learn so much more about myself and to more thoroughly embed so many memories into my soul.

This evening in particular I’ve found myself laughing out loud frequently. One of my last few pieces was to go through old text messages with Dad to screenshot any that might better round out the story. Much stomach hurts from laughing so hard! Going through those old texts was pure medicine for the soul.

I’m thankful yet again for each step of this process. In rereading those texts I heard Dad’s voice in my heart and laughed along with him as I did so many times before. I’ll be sleeping with a huge grin tonight.

Thanks!!!

Our favorite running area is only a mile or so from our house and provides us an opportunity to disappear into the woods for a while. Now that the sun is rising later and later the entire run is in the dark. On our run this morning I heard a noise in the woods that was a little louder than the rabbits we regularly scare up. The moonlight wasn’t quite bright enough to see well so I stopped and walked back towards the sound. I scanned the woods with my headlamp and couldn’t quite make anything out. When I caught back up to Becky I told her it had to be something bigger than a rabbit as I heard a twig snap.

After we got home Becky took Skywalker for a walk and I took LuLu for a ride down the same road we had just run down. About a mile and a half in a coyote appeared out of the woods and started running down the road away from us! It was fairly close to where I thought I’d heard it. For the next half mile or so it ran up the road in front of us as we slowly drove along. It was awesome!

Nothing quite like spending some time early in the morning watching a coyote! That was amazing 🙂

When I got home from the ride with LuLu Gavin walked through the kitchen with a huge smile.

“I believe today is going to be a great day,” he loudly proclaimed in a voice that was even more upbeat and happy than his smile.

He had no reason other than he just decided that it was going to be a great day – how awesome is that? It was like a blast of Red Bull and espresso to knock my attitude right into a great place!

Nothing like a huge smile, positive attitude, and an optimistic mindset from Gavin to ramp up my morning in an awesome way!

Thanks!!!

Let me set the stage for you from yesterday morning. Maybe you’ve been there before.

I’m heading out to my car to go to work. Thinking I can save a trip I load up all my stuff and have my hands full. In one hand is my breakfast. The other I both holding my lunch bag by the strap and my coffee.

The door is closed so I decide to awkwardly balance my coffee halfway on my hand so I can turn the knob. In one slow and gut wrenching second I realize too late what a horrible idea it was. Coffee flies everywhere and now I’ve got a mess.

I know better. I’ve done this before. Why would I try it again?

This happens more often than it should – but four out of five times it works fine. Does that one spill equal the time spent saved by the other four times? Probably not.

From that coffee incident yesterday I was reminded to pause, do it right the first time, and save just as much time in the long run. How many times in life have I rushed something that should have taken a little more time? When have I cut corners that I should have respected?

Slow dow to go fast.

Deep thoughts from a balanced cup of coffee!

Thanks!!!

The past week and a half have been crazy busy. All good stuff, just a lot of it. Tonight we have exactly nothing going on. Gavin has church but it’s our week off from driving. No soccer game for Dominic tonight. Supper and dishes were finished by 6:15. Everything that I intended to do today has been done.

Nights at home like this with nothing going on are a beautiful thing in moderation.

What’s funny is that my brain still has a difficult time turning itself down into relaxation mode. Even tonight when there’s nothing going on and I know I should breathe and relax I struggle to stop doing something.

Becky had to remind me earlier to relax and I’m glad she did! After that gentle reminder I still ended up pacing for a good fifteen plus minutes before I finally got horizontal to type my blog. After this I might just lay here and fall asleep or read a book until I fall asleep. Either way I’ll be surprised to see 8pm and I’m totally fine with that 😉

Ahh…. It took a while to get here, but now that I’m in the relaxed state of mind I feel much better already.

Thanks!!!

Hmm… several different ways to go tonight but none of them quite hit the spot. Maybe if I type enough I’ll start to pull myself into the right lane.

For an upcoming meeting I put together some thought provoking questions to help us get into the right frame of mind. As I’ve spent time thinking through my answers I can’t help be thankful for the thought processes my brain has been going through.

One of the questions is, essentially, what would you do if you couldn’t do what you’re doing now?

The reason I love this question so much is that it reminds me that there is always a choice. There’s always an option or an alternative. While it is easy to feel trapped in the routine that is only a construct of my own mind. I am more than my profession. I can choose a different profession.

The next level of appreciation for this question comes when I realize I’m doing what I would really like to be doing and choose to do it. Not only am I then doing what I love, but I am reminding myself that I am choosing it freely amongst other potential options.

That question really has my brain and soul going into overdrive and I’m grateful for it!

Thanks!!!

Hmm… sometimes I find it interesting how I might be thankful for something I saw a little differently or for a lesson I learned only to find it out into action shortly after the post. There is definitely a magic to this whole journaling thing! 😁👍

Today I took my own advice from a little while back about remembering to zoom out to gain a better perspective. I’ve been looking at something very close up. Rather than using my own myopic viewpoint I reached out to a mentor and got their advice.

As it turned out it was about the best decision I’ve made in a while! Reaching out to ask their advice and to listen to their past experiences was solid gold. They helped me shift my thinking to a much better place and I’ve been able to chart a much better course.

Thanks!!!

This morning saw me waking up and getting ready to head out of town for soccer with Gavin. We were picking up some folks along the way and then heading off to Madison. Early-ish start, hit the gas, and off to the races.

My initial thought was that I would be putting in my ear plugs, putting on my sleep mask, and hitting the hay while the boys played board games in the hotel suite. I’d be up later than I’d like and then up earlier than expected.

Imagine my surprise as I type this and we’re all in bed already! The Brewers game is on and once it’s over it’ll be lights out. In bed and out before 10pm – that’s crazy!!!

The weather was perfect, the company was excellent, the games were great, the burgers were delicious, and the day has been awesome. Now that I have even more time to sleep – outstanding! Extra ZZZ’s for me!

Thanks!!!

The temperature is dropping a bit tonight. Sweatshirt weather is just about upon us. Tonight I was warmed by the blanket of memories.

Many conversations about Dad. So many memories of Dad. Remembrances of times as a child, times as an adult, and everything in between. Largely wonderful memories. This evening they all wrapped around me and wove themselves together into blanket which warmed my soul. So comforting and soothing.

During a conversation I was asked a question that I’ve been asked before. Each time I pause and attempt to figure out the answer. The response is initially difficult to answer as I grasp for words.

Imagine you were asked “how do you remember to breathe several times each minute?” How do you answer that? It isn’t something easy to describe yet it is something which has become automatic. To explain it causes you to pause, swallow the question, think deeply, and then respond.

“How do you find something different to blog about each day?”

The short answer is so simple that it is embarrassing… It is like breathing. It is a part of who I am, how I exist. I do it out of muscle memory now as it is a part of what makes me who I am.

The more formal answer as I attempt to put it into a more clear answer is that each day starts with me waking up. Before I close my eyes and go to sleep I am promising myself I will find something to be thankful for, something different than I’ve blogged about before. All day long I’m making mental notes of what I’m thankful for and starting to compose the blog in my brain. By the end of each day I’m left with so many options that I find it difficult to narrow it down.

The question always make me smile and reminds me how far I’ve grown in my gratitude journey… and of how far I still have to go!

Thanks!!!