Tonight was a bit different than the past weeknights. Monday nights in particular have been focused on yoga in the park with Becky followed by supper, a walk, and then blogging. About the only part of that which remained tonight is happening right now – the blogging.

Thanks to the efforts of Gavin’s soccer club to find ways to keep the players and coaches socially distanced during practices Gavin had his first night of soccer in well over 8 months. Talk about a quick switch back to the old normal!

Becky hit yoga solo. Dominic and I dropped off Gavin at practice and then headed to the YMCA. We worked out in masks in a very spaced out and quiet fitness area and then headed back to pick up Gavin. Becky had the pizzas in the oven and just about ready by the time we walked in the door. The boys and I devoured the ‘za and here we are. After this I’ll be reading in bed for a little bit, go to sleep, wake up early and do it all over again tomorrow. Back to the old normal!

It’s kind of crazy. Back in February I found this exhausting. Today I found it wildly refreshing! When normal is no longer normal it truly feels better to get back to normal. What’s changed? Really nothing but my perspective. Again, another reminder of the power of choosing my mindset. I can either find it tiring or refreshing, it’s up to me to put the context to it.

Deep thoughts aside, whew, normal-ish felt pretty damn good!

Thanks!!!

One of the tricks I’ve picked up from the book Digital Minimalism was keeping a book nearby at all times. Truthfully, this wasn’t the first time I’d read that advice. A year or so ago when I read On Writing Stephen King offered that advice up to anyone interested in writing. The funny thing was that I realized it was a great idea then, but I did nothing with it other than feel occasional guilt when surfing on my device. After Digital Minimalism I saw it as way for me to break my habit of staring at my phone during down time.

This weekend while camping I had Essentialism in my shorts pocket most of the time. When there was a lull I was able to bust it out and read a few chapters. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had it nearby often and there’ve been many times I’ve found space to read an extra chapter or two. This weekend I was able to remind myself of some great strategies for staying focused including how to say “no” more confidently and a process to help focus only on the right opportunities.

This afternoon when I went to pick up the boys from Scouts I knew I was likely going to spend some time waiting in the car. Thinking ahead I grabbed a different book, Man’s Search for Meaning, and started reading after I pulled up. I’m so thankful I did as there were several very interesting insights and points to ponder. Specifically, I was surprised by the mindset of individuals who’d been freed from the concentration camp and how they responded afterwards. In addition to helping me realize I need to continue to focus on finding ongoing meaning it helped me see that we will continue to have serious struggles as a society even after COVID has been mitigated. The shift back to normal is never easy and there are going to be varied emotions as we all attempt to get back to “normal.” It’s already got my mind rolling at a fevered pace thinking ahead to how I can help both myself and others through what is sure to be trying times ahead. Spoiler alert, we all must focus on finding meaning in our suffering – how can we find ways to become stronger because of this rather than just suffering through this.

Long story short, here’s what I’m most thankful for today. A minor behavioral change has helped me find more insight today. While the gap between who I am and who I feel I am called to be is still large I was able to make progress on closing the gap. Had I continued to behave the way I used to only a month ago I most likely would have missed this opportunity until I had specific downtime to read in detail. Through one minor change I’m able to grow in a positive way; and all without missing the activity that would have consumed that time in the past.

Thanks!!!

If you’ve read my blog over the past few weeks you’ll most likely note I’ve been focused on some deeper thoughts and gratitudes. Today? I’m going in a very different direction. Sometimes there is something that is just so good and I appreciate so much that I’ll just focus there instead of going deep.

While camping today Matt started prepping ribs for dinner at approximately 10am. Over the next 7+ hours he continued to take care of the ribs in his smoker. Every so often he’d pause everything to focus on the ribs, slathering a delicious coating of butter and vinegar on them to help them roast to perfection. By the time they were complete they were pretty much falling off the bone.

There was a ton to be thankful for today. Many awesome moments, great memories made, and some interesting insights. All that said, eating the best ribs I’ve ever had in my entire life totally took the cake today! Each juicy, savory, delicious bite was mind glowingly amazing! Between the couple dozen of us we easily took down all 9 full racks.

Matt – thanks for working your art for all of us today, we appreciate it greatly, though our waistbands may be a little more strained 😉

Thanks!!!

I still remember my first actual bike. It was a red Murray BMX. More important than that detail was that it was one of my very first tastes of freedom. Crazy to think back that far, but I remember thinking I’d experienced true freedom and independence for the first time when I rode it. That bike was my opportunity to travel anywhere I wanted – so long as I got permission from my parents first. That bike and the ones that followed took me to so many places including to the end of the gravel road we lived on, to town (four-ish miles away), and even to the golf course. My bike was my key to going everywhere as a kid!

Fast forward a few decades and my bike has changed a few times. Whether it was my original Murray or the current iteration (Giant) it has remained the same and has retained the same name – “my bike.” Regardless of the brand, model, or style it has remained a faithful friend who has led me to many wonderful experiences. Case in point – today my bike took me to the wildlife preserve and helped us have a close encounter with a pair of cranes AND provided a little alone time with Dominic as we biked to see what his cousins were up to AND was a source of some serious namaste while I biked back to camp alone and with some great music playing.

So many experiences related to my bike, so many moments of joy thanks in part to my bike. I swear, each time I get on my bike I somehow get significantly younger. I hop on and next thing I know I’m swerving on the road, going up and down hills, riding with no handlebars, and even occasionally “jumping” my bike when I go over a big bump (more like just lifting my front tire an inch or two off the ground, but who’s counting?). My bike is freedom. My bike is a source of great joy through experiences. My bike is a time machine that shaves decades off my being. My bike leads me to so many joyful moments. I’m thankful for my bike and the moments it has helped to create.

Today I’m also thankful for a very odd counterpoint to the first half of my blog. Interestingly enough the reason I am thankful for my bike in the first place was 100% due to a thought exercise I took myself through today.

When I headed to the shower near our campsite I parked my bike outside the door. Not thinking too much of it I hopped into the shower. While shampooing the remnants of a once great civilization – my hair – a thought occurred to me. My bike wasn’t locked up! It was just sitting outside where almost anyone could take it. While I hurriedly rushed through the rest of my shower I focused on finding a way to best utilize the stress of this situation.

“If my bike was stolen, how would I react? What would be the right way to react? What can I learn from this?”

My initial thoughts and emotions led to anger. How dare someone take my bike??? Who would do such a thing? What is wrong with them??? In an instant I realized that this was negative emotion that did nothing to fix the situation.

I then focused on how I would remedy the situation. What would the process be to try to re-obtain my two wheel chariot of freedom? I thought about who to contact, how much effort to put into finding it and so on.

After the practical I went back to my initial emotions and tried to focus them towards the positive instead. I thought about how I could forgive the person who stole it. I considered that there may be something profoundly wrong or sad in their life that caused them to see stealing the bike as the right option for them. If they already were struggling maybe this would be what got them the last they needed to get them on the right track or out of the trouble they were in. Maybe my bike would be going to someone who desperately needed that feeling of independence and freedom and would have a positive impact on someone’s life like it had mine.

The more I thought about forgiveness I realized it would be a unique opportunity to teach my boys about how to maintain emotional control and how to forgive. Of course I’d like to have my bike back but if I couldn’t do anything to get it back I could show my boys how to handle the situation with dignity, calmness, love, and forgiveness. It seems that much that is problematic in the world could be calmed by all of us learning or re-learning this skill set together. In taking my bike this person would have provided a unique opportunity to help me share a valuable life lesson with my boys.

While all of this was going on inside my head I hoped my bike was still there. In a crazy way I was prepared in the event it wouldn’t be. The entire process reminded me of a lesson from the Dalai Lama. He regularly imagines that his most prized possession, a vase, was already broken. In doing so he found that he had a renewed and deepened appreciation for the vase each day. Think about it, how much do we appreciate something or someone when they are gone? In that instant when we realize that we will not have any more time with them our appreciation for all the moments we had with them increases significantly. In an instant what we saw as an infinite source of joy is suddenly limited to what we’ve already had.

In thinking through this thought exercise of my bike being taken my depth of gratitude for my bike and all the experiences it has helped to create increased tremendously. It helped me prepare for the possibility of losing my bike, it reminded me to appreciate my bike, and it caused me to stop and remember all of the times and experiences I’ve had while on my bike. Long story short, in simulating profound loss I encountered profound joy and meaning. How wild is that?

Funny how life is often like that? The duplicity and friction between things often lead to the deepest understanding and joy if I remember to choose the right attitude.

Thanks!!!

There were a handful of things I am very thankful for today. The one that really sticks out was Gavin earning his first paycheck.

This week Gavin headed up to Winona along with Dominic and I to help clean up the flower beds and landscaping at our office building. Over the course of about eight hours he and Dominic pulled over half a dozen leaf bags’ worth of weeds while I worked inside. Every time I would look out the window he was on his knees pulling weeds. No complaints, no frustration, no whining, only working at his task.

Seeing the smile on his face when he’d earned his first paycheck was amazing a brought a ton of joy to my heart. Becky and I both pride ourselves on our work ethic, seeing him live into this value of ours made me smile huge. I still remember earning my first check and remembering that feeling of freedom and accomplishment. Knowing that Gavin has now felt the same I am so pumped.

Gavin – super proud of you today dude! I’m so glad you had the opportunity to earn your first check – but so much more proud of how hard you worked for it. Thank you for kicking butt! Love you dude!!!

Thanks!!!

Lots to be thankful for today.

I had a wonderful time on the water with some teammates. Getting time to get to know each other better, shoot the bull, and talking about things other than work was awesome.

My ride to and from Eau Claire was a combination of thought time, reading, and talking. The majority of it was productive, but there were also moments of relaxation and focus on the present.

One of the things that kept ringing through my head all day was a small handful of quotes from Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. While laying in bed I switched up books for a change of pace and can across some of my favorite concepts. To summarize, they are all focused on remembering that we all always have a choice to make in our attitudes and emotions. Suffering, setbacks, challenges, and frustrations are all a part of our life and it is in how we handle them that we shape who we are.

And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self…

The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances – to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified, and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for a man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. An this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not.

… the tendency there was to look into the past, to help make the present, with all its horrors, less real. But in robbing the present of it reality there lay a certain danger. It became easy to overlook the opportunities to make something positive of camp life, opportunities which really did exist.

With all going on these quotes were wonderful reminders for me to stay present, focus on choosing my attitude and mindset, grow through adversity, and become better through whatever comes my way.

Thanks!!!

Yessir, that is a mouthful tonight! This is one of those days when leaving a portion out seems a little wrong as each has had an impact.

First off, and out of order, I’m thankful for life. Yes, this should be a pretty basic one but sometimes there are moments in life when I am more in tune with that gratitude. I should pause more often and start the day with that thought. There was a quote by Mahatma Gandhi that struck me today.

“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”

Mahatma Gandhi

Another basic human need I am very aware of and grateful for today is a great night of sleep. Last night I slept like a champ and got well over eight hours. Funny how much more clear my brain is after a great night of sleep. I feel more sharp, on my game, and energetic. There is much I want to do in my waking hours, it would be so easy to sacrifice sleep like I used to back in the day. Funny thing is that when my sleep total goes down my stress goes up, my health has issues, and I’m much less productive. An excellent night of sleep is what really set me up for today.

My day was a ball of fire from start to finish. I’m not quite sure what I was thinking but I scheduled way more into my morning and early afternoon than I probably should have. That said, I was dialed in, prepared, on point, and ready. The high intensity continued through until later in the afternoon and it was awesome! There were more than a few times in which I could feel myself going into a state of flow. The activities I’d chosen were essential, in my wheel house, and were a bit of a challenge. That balance and the tightness of the schedule led to a crazy high level of intensity. Throw in the time later in the day to breathe and take stock of what had transpired and it was almost perfect. I’m thankful for the drive time I have tomorrow morning to provide space to process everything just a bit deeper.

Something else I’m thankful for today was watching the boys bust their butts pulling weeds. Our Winona office building needed a little extra love and then boys wanted to make a few bucks. They loaded up and worked a half day outside while I worked inside. Throughout the afternoon I’d occasionally pop out and see how they were doing. I was impressed, not a whole lot of goofing off, they were working hard and it was great to see. By the time I was ready to head home they were already talking about coming back later in the week to finish up the job and do some additional yard work. Nothing like knowing your kids are busting their butts to make a parent proud.

Thanks!!!

Starting off the week with Monday night yoga has been exactly what the doctor ordered. Jump into work with both feet early Monday morning, go hard all day, shut off the computer, head out to the park, and begin the calm. By the time I’m heading out to yoga my mind is racing. Before I transition out of our first pose my soul is calm.

Yoga is outside at the park so there’s a wonderful feeling of safety as the small group is spread out well over 10 feet from each other. Getting additional time in the fresh air adds to the calming feeling. The downside is that the ground isn’t even close to flat. There are bumps, acorns, sticks, pine cones, pebbles, and ant hills. When doing yoga in the studio we’re always on perfectly level and consistent wood flooring. It is so much easier to balance with perfect conditions like that.

When we started tonight Carol reminded us to take a moment to let our feet get used to the uneven surfaces. Give our feet an opportunity to get used to the imperfections and then begin to find balance in the imbalance. It isn’t as simple as in the perfectly flat studio and everything is just a little different. Balance is set off slightly, angles feel a little awkward, and there’s more purposeful thought needed to get used to it. Uneven surfaces cause discomfort.

As one of my mentors once taught me, “when we are not comfortable we are growing.” So many moment of learning happen when the ground is slightly askew.

On level ground everything comes a little more natural due to muscle memory. In those trainings my brain can go a little too far into auto pilot. On uneven surfaces I have to focus a little more and be a little more intentional – I must be more present. By practicing balance in discomfort I become more present and focused.

On level ground my muscles strengthen and stretch in the same way each practice. On uneven surfaces I have to hold my weight slightly different each time. Muscles just outside of the normal spots get worked. My body stretches in ways it wouldn’t normally stretch. The morning after I often find myself a little more tight and tender thanks to working parts I’m not used to. By working in discomfort I become stronger and more adaptable.

On level ground I am used to where my body can typically go and I don’t go push beyond my normal as much as I should. On uneven surfaces I feel more confident to play. There’s not a “normal” so why not try pushing it a little? I don’t have any preconceived ideas of how far I could go so I am free to go past the limits my mind would typically remind me of. By working in discomfort I free my mind to experiment and play.

Whether in yoga or life there are always two paths to choose. The steady and level is great for practice, for building a base, for starting. If I don’t choose the uneven surfaces occasionally I’ll begin to plateau and stagnate. By purposefully and intentionally moving to an uneven surface I can learn, grow, experiment, and focus more than ever. The way of unevenness, off balance, and slightly askew is the path of growth. If I live on the flat I’ll grow, but if I live on the uneven path I’ll grow beyond the limits of the flat.

Thanks!!!

A handful of years ago I used to listen to the Freakonomics podcast on a regular basis. There were many memorable and interesting episodes, but one that really stuck out was on “the upside of quitting.”

Kind of a crazy thought, isn’t it? How often in life are we told that quitting is never the right answer? Or “don’t be a quitter”? There’s also the all time fan favorite – “quitters never win.” Throughout life our brains are wired to see quitting as a failure, the sign of a poor character, and as weakness incarnate. Honestly, when the thought of quitting anything crosses my mind I get a little shiver of discomfort up and down my spine. It just doesn’t seem natural.

One of the four core values of my teams is Grit – passion and perseverance for a long term goal. Quitting just doesn’t fit that value. By even acknowledging Grit as a value I’m setting the tone that quitting will not be tolerated.

Tonight the boys and I fired up Alone for a couple of episodes and saw one of the rarities of the show. One of the contestants was forced to be pulled due to massive weight loss. After surviving in the Arctic for almost two months alone and with only the food she could trap, hunt, or collect herself she just wasn’t able to consume enough calories to maintain a healthy weight. When she showed us what she looked like all we saw was a skin covered skeleton. The show’s doctors determined that she needed to be pulled due to the health risks of losing so much weight. If she was allowed to continue she would have been at high risk of multiple organ failure and death. Hence, they forced her to go home (after seeking immediate medical attention).

Thanks to the format of “Alone” we were able to hear her inner monologue. Do you know what she was saying when she was looking at herself the night before the medical check? “I was nervous to look at myself, but I’m so glad I did!” “Look at how strong I look?” “I look like an Ironman triathlete!” “Look at my muscle definition!” All she saw was a strong and healthy body that was ready to continue. Quitting was the last thing on her mind. When she was told she was getting pulled her level of shock was painful to watch. She literally had no idea she wasn’t healthy!

How in the world could this be? Her perception and reality were so out of alignment that anyone with a basic understanding of human health could understand it.

Simple… she is an incredibly gritty individual who would never have quit under any circumstance. Period. She was tough as nails and was willing to do anything to reach her goal of winning the show. Not sold on how gritty she was? Here’s a few fun facts. She cut herself horribly on the thumb. She accidentally stabbed herself in the leg with an arrow that was covered in squirrel blood. She accidentally lit her shelter on fire and put it out with her hands. Oh yeah, she was also bitten in the hand by a squirrel. Any of these individual incidents could have been a game ended for her and yet each time she seemed to get up even stronger than before. She wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of her dream and she proved it over and over again.

But what happens when grit is used in the wrong way? What if we get to the point that the best move for us truly is to quit? How do we know it? How do we “flip the Grit switch off” when quitting becomes the right answer? How do we really know if quitting is the right answer or if maybe we should grit it out instead?

I hope you’re not looking to me for an answer… I’m struggling on this one too!

It seems so easy to make the call from a third party perspective. She looked like she was about to die and therefore she should quit – death is not worth the price of victory. How often have we heard the story of the mountain climber who pushes back on the preset turnaround time only to die chasing their dream? “Why would they do that? I would never do that, it’s not worth it.”

So today I’m thankful for a thought that will be hanging in my mind for quite some time. Maybe I need to fire up that old podcast again – there may be a nugget I am missing. Today I’m content with letting that seed in my mind establish roots and grow.

Thanks!!!

When going back to re-read some of my favorite books there are always ideas that impact me a little differently based on what is going on in my life at the time of the reading. Sometimes a point might be totally lost on me in one read but then hits me right between the eyes the next. I am truly seeing why some people swear by the “Five Foot Shelf” theory that all the books one truly needs for a true education can fit on a five foot long shelf. Instead of reading new, focus on reading those five feet of paper voraciously and in great depth. Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown has continued to solidify its argument for its 3/4″ on the shelf during each reading.

What I am thankful for today is a lesson from the book that I’ve kind of cruised by quickly in the past. The ideas is one that I have read but have glossed over, falsely thinking I’d already had it figured out. This time around I’ve realized that I need to focus on it even more if I want to continue to improve not only my writing, but my gratitude practice and joy.

The concept? Looking for the lead. Yes, very simple. He describes it as the skill that the best journalists poses, the ability to look past and through all the details to truly distill all the information into the one unifying theme that really matters to anyone. What is the lead of the story? What is the concept that the entire rest of the information pivots on?

In life there is so much noise and extraneous detail. I find that I can easily be pulled in one direction or another via logic or emotion. Sometimes there’s so much to process that all of my energy goes there instead of digging to find the deeper meaning. As I reflect and think back I see that those are often the moments when my blogging – and my thought process – is focused on relaying the details and information. The true why, the true meaning, the real lesson are all left for someone else to find on their own. Sadly, when I write that way I often lose sight of that and end up just reporting versus processing and thinking. When my blog really “feels right” it’s usually when I’ve stumbled upon the lead. Everything makes sense because I can pause and say “that’s what it’s really all about!” In an instant I can see the essence of what I am thankful for and it is so much greater than each individual part.

Sitting here initially pondering what I am thankful for today my brain was swirling in several different directions. I almost felt creatively choked by the options and my thought processes. In an instant my brain tripped back to what I’d read yesterday… to find the lead. My mind wasn’t cleared, but I was able to set everything on the periphery. I mentally examined each piece individually. I let my brain put different components together to see how they all fit. After a little while I could see the core concept very clearly in front of me.

The funny thing is that what I found wasn’t what I wanted to blog about today! The process I’d just gone through to mentally unpack my brain and find the lead was priceless! In a short period of time I was able to help my brain put everything together into one common theme and that brought about a sublime state of serenity.

If you haven’t picked up Essentialism yet, please feel free to check it out if you’re ever feeling pulled in too many directions. Just be a little warned, it will make you feel a little uncomfortable at times as it pushes you out of your comfort zone. After reading it I’d be sure to strike up a conversation with you about it if you’d like.

Thanks!!!