During my drive to work today I caught myself smiling. Here I was, first work day back from our backpacking trip with a huge pile of tasks to complete and I was smiling. How crazy is that? Quite often the first day back is a white knuckle drive with teeth grinding as I rapidly work through everything that has been piling up since I left. Today? I was smiling.
The entire drive consisted of viewing the bluffs and the river as a tourist, taking in the beauty of the colors of nature. I had a wonderful forest related song mix playing on my stereo. Each song brought back different memories from our recent trip. I occasionally thought of the work day ahead and smiled. I’d just spent a few days living out of a backpack, filtering water from lakes and streams, carrying my only earthly possessions at the time literally on my back, and the bathroom… you get the idea 😉. Work? That’s easy!
Over the past year and a half five really seen an interesting correlation. My state of chill is exponentially proportional to the amount of time I’ve recently spent in the wild. More forest, way more relaxed. More hiking in nature, way more chill. More fresh air in the woods, much lower blood pressure.
This past weekend brought about one of the most profound states of chill I’ve had in a very long time. It’s memory is so fresh in my head. The last hike seared into my brain and soul.
One of the parts of backpacking and camping I enjoy least is the clean up and packing up of gear after the trip. Cleaning the mud off everything, wiping things down, hanging up everything to dry, re-packing, and sorting through everything before sorting is not nearly as exciting as the trip itself. It’s so easy to put it off, let it ride, and decide to get back to it later. Relaxing and chilling sounds so much better, right?
Way back in the day my parents always reminded me of how important it was to put up the tent to dry immediately after camping in Scouts. Before I could do anything else I had to put up the tent in the garage or out in the yard to make sure it was dry. Once dry I’d then go out, roll I up, and pack it into the bag so it was ready for the next Scout meeting. Over my years of Scouting this became habit.
Today I started packing everything away, getting it ready for its next use, and making note of what to do differently next trip. It would have been nice to kick back and chill or work on a handful of other things, but that was what I needed to knock off my list before I moved on to anything else.
You know what’s weird? I really appreciated the process of doing that today. The sense of accomplishment was rewarding and it helped me get more excited for the next trip. With everything fresh in my head I was able to make a few adjustments in packing that I would have most likely forgotten in a day or two, only to remember after I’d already re-packed. I was able to listen to an audio book while doing it and the movement helped keep me fresh and loose.
Crazy how sometimes things in life seem like a chore while other times they are peaceful and relaxing. What’s the difference? My attitude. 100%. If I choose to see it as rewarding, the right thing to do, and remind myself of how important it is I’ll find it much more rewarding while I do it. Nice reminder of a great life lesson.
Shortly after writing my blog last night I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. I woke up once in a while, shifted a bit in my hammock, and let my eyes close. After one of these I re-positioned myself in my hammock just in time to hear…
KABOOM!!!
There was an intense blast of thunder that rumbled through the valleys. With little brush, much rock, and many valleys the thunder echoed impossibly loudly for an extended period of time. In an instant I was wide awake. The boys hadn’t made any noise and I didn’t hear anything else . I got up quick, heeded the call of nature and got back into my hammock…
…just in time to hear the wind pick up and start to howl. As with the thunder the wind literally echoed throughout the valleys and continued to pick up momentum. In short order the winds hit our camp and I could feel the temperature drop as the pressure increased.
Right behind the wind was the rain. It came down in a total deluge as the winds howled. The boys were up by then as we had to holler loudly to overhear each other over the forces of nature. As everything calmed down I was serenaded by one of the most peaceful sounds in the world… rain on a tent tarp.
What I’m thankful for the most is the feeling the sheer power of nature. In the instant of thunder blast I was quickly reminded of where I rank in the big picture of all that is. That instant humility and acceptance of something far greater than I is one of the biggest reasons I enjoy spending time in nature. As my parents each told me at an early age, the mountains remind us of just how small we are and how large The Big Dude Upstairs is. The echoing thunder was exactly what I was hoping to find on this trip.
Yesterday was my least favorite hike of all time in the UP. Today was right up there with the best of the best. The entire hike was an adventure through an enchanted landscape. From the start we had to cross a river to follow the trail. Where the hike yesterday was very bland the entire trail today seemed to exude a different vibe.
There were old growth pine forests with much open space. The old pine even made noise as we walked. Some older ones had fallen part way and they let out sounds of tension as they leaned against each other. How often is there such a state of peace and calm in which we can hear the trees talk?
We saw fields of large rocks. Some were obviously the result of erosion of the cliffs above while others seemed very out of place. Those held lines of smaller rocks held tight in the grips of sandstone fossils from thousands of years ago. There were some in large groups and other large rocks sitting alone as if they were an alter from a people long since gone.
This is only 8 minutes before the next pic…
We walked through a gate created by a fallen tree. Shortly after passing through it seemed as if we walked through a doorway into completely different world. Everything burst into a vibrant green that came from every direction. Before the doorway there were only large old pine and boulders. After it was only young green trees, bright green moss, and emerald green underbrush. The stark contrast in the two was staggering. In such a short period of time the change was wildly drastic.
As we continued through we slowly wound our way up the hill. Once atop the ridge we were at the edge of nothingness. The fog and clouds were so low that beyond the cliff’s edge there was nothingness. Only cloud and guesses and imaginations of what lay beyond. It felt as if we’d hit the end of the map and the end of the world. This feeling persisted and grew as we continued to hike the trail. While in some ways it would have been amazing to see the full view my mind can’t help but be grateful for having the reality of what lay beyond stay hidden away. The feeling of unknowing leaves me hungry to go back and let’s my mind imagine the possibility.
While walking through this seemingly enchanted landscape I couldn’t help but notice a profound sensation of being home, of being at peace will all in life. The UP of Michigan (Upper Peninsula) has always felt like home to me in ways in which mere words can’t even begin to provide depth to. Those feelings were stronger than ever as I walked the trail today. That path was exactly where I was meant to be at that exact moment, I was home. While I have no hopes or aspirations to move there I know my soul finds extreme peace, stillness, and curiosity in this place. It is a home in ways I cannot fully explain, I can only feel. That feeling of going home after a long trip away, when I walk through the front door and appreciate all I have and my home itself for all that it entails, much beyond its structure and belongings, is a profound feeling of peace, security, and joy. The way I felt on the trail today was similar to that but on a visceral level for my soul itself. Even as I re-read what I’ve written I realize it sounds a bit out there, but I mean it with 100% sincerity. I’m very grateful for the profound feeling of being at home today on the trail.
What makes today even more special is that it was shared with those I love. As a family we created new memories which we will ever forget, moments we’ll hold onto forever. Laughs, smiles, jokes, awe, and a few bits of suffering to keep it real. So many new amazing memories with Becky, Dominic, Gavin, and my buddy Steve. Creating memories together makes the journey so much more profound.
One more night of total disconnection before I head back to reality at some point tomorrow. The sounds of nature from outside my hammock are so tranquil I’m struggling to keep my eyes open as I type. Birds are singing several peaceful songs. There’s a stream making a perfect babbling sound. The entire soundscape sounds like heaven.
Our hike today was significantly less eventful than yesterday’s. No crazy surprises, no unexpected mileage, and largely downhill. The muddy trails were brutal at times, more of a slog in a big than a hike. The hike today was scenic at times, but largely meh. Of all the hikes and trails we’ve done in the UP this was almost certainly my least favorite.
…and that’s why I’m grateful did it today. Crazy, right? Here’s the skinny…
If there’s a ranking of any sort there will always be a most favorite and there will always be a least favorite. It’s simple logic, right? It doesn’t mean the least is bad, there is still something to appreciate about it. The hike today had some very cool rock formations, a wonderfully calm lake, and a spring seemingly appearing out of nowhere. It was peaceful and chill, just not my favorite.
How awesome that I have had enough hikes in the UP that I can claim to have a least favorite? It means I’ve had the opportunity to experience some pretty awesome hikes as well. When I have a hike like today’s it reminds me to pause and think back to all the hikes in the past. What made them unique? Why did I appreciate them so much? So many memories came back while hiking today.
Today’s hike may not have been my favorite but that didn’t stop me from appreciating or enjoying it any less.
Thanks!!!
Not from today obviously but from a short hike that was more of a favorite than today’s hike. Interestingly, I took no pictures today 😦
As I type this I’m laying in my camping hammock at the side of scenic lake. There’s no one besides us around the lake. Totally secluded with the next campsites well over half a mile away. The sounds of the frogs and crickets surround In a wildly loud cacophony. There’s a cool breeze starting to blow in off the small lake just below Government Peak inside Porcupine Mountains State Park.
The hike here was interesting to say the least. Let’s get the tough part out of the way. According to the online resource I used our hike was only supposed to be 8.5 miles or so. By the time we got to our camp it was well over 10 miles. Throw in a crazy muddy trail and there were times when it was tough going. I’m laying here exhausted, with a leg bandaged up due to some type of poisonous plant, and feeling completely run down. It reminds dad me of the days when I’d have 15+ mile training runs. All that said, it was worth every single step, no question.
The hike today was all I could ever ask for out of a hike. Atop giant stone cliffs. Crossing tranquil rivers and streams. Entire swathes of woods covered in a vibrant emerald green. Waterfalls around many corners all with their own personalities and intricacies. Just to add to a view that didn’t seem like it could get any better – a bald eagle soared and played in the wind as looked across the scenic valley.
There are definitely some things about hiking and backpacking that aren’t cool on the surface. As I type there’s a hum of mosquitoes surrounding my bug screen frantically searching for a secret entrance. My body is sore. My leg is feeling pretty hot. There’s a lot there I could focus on… if I chose to in a negative light.
Here’s the deal, many of the best experiences in life are found on the other side of suffering. While it Is uncomfortable in the moment those are the times when we’re being tested, we’re being forged and tempered. At any time we could stop as it is all self imposed, but the suffering is what brings the more profound joy out of an experience.
Laying here tonight knowing I put in over 11miles with a 45ish pound pack on while taking on almost 2,000 feet of elevation gain has me feeling pretty proud of myself… and at the same time wondering how much further I could’ve gone. The suffering increase the joy, increases the appetite for future growth, and pushes us past what we felt is possible.
Today the suffering brought my views and memories which will burn in my brain for my entire life. I’ve seen more beauty than I’d otherwise see in nature. I found more joy in living. Today I’ve lived completely.
I was waiting for our order to be finished at a Culver’s in northern Wisconsin. Out of corner of my eye I caught a glance of someone whom I seemed to recognize. With masks on it is a little more difficult to be sure, but I could’ve swore it was Dad’s past pastor.
I couldn’t tell for sure so I started to head out towards the door, but just as quick I felt compelled to find out for sure. Sure enough it was! We had a nice conversation and it was awesome to talk with him and his wife again.
A couple of hours later we started a little small talk with a woman in our parking lot. Within a couple of minutes we realized we’d rented one of our all time favorite VRBOs from her daughter! We shot the bull and caught up on their move to a new house and how successful their rental properties have been. It was pretty cool!
Funny how small the world is, isn’t? Connections like this remind me of so many moments when someone we know crosses paths out of the blue. The smile, the connection, and the sense of community are amazing.
While the topic of my blog tonight may not be the most deep I’ve ever had , but it is perfect for today!
During the work day my brain was thoroughly wrapped around half a dozen projects all at once. Deadlines moved up, things taking longer than expected, very interesting thoughts brought up, and so on and so on. For the most part all good, just mentally exhausting.
I paused for a moment to take a deep breath. After shaking my head for a second I grabbed my phone and checked my texts. Out of the blue a handful of my friends had texted about our upcoming get together now that we’re all vaccinated. It was exactly what I needed to reset my brain to move forward with my day.
There was only one way to respond fittingly to the strong of texts… a few GIFs back to back to back. Next thing I knew there were GIFs flying all over the place!
One that always makes me laugh is a one of Chris Farley and Adam Sandler. In no time someone threw it out there and I was laughing.
After a few laughs I went right back to work and was texting a teammate as we resolved a problem. Once it was resolved he sent me the following GIF to celebrate. For clarity, he and my other group of friends have never met. He and I hadn’t mentioned GIFs, especially the specific one he sent. The one he sent:
Perfect!
Sometimes a picture is worth way more than a thousand words. GIFs remind me of that daily.
Today I had an awesome meeting with my writing coach and editor. This was our first time talking through the specifics of my first draft. Just knowing that they’d both read it in its entirety was wild in a way I can’t really describe. They both did a fantastic job of walking me through the process and helped me feel both comfortable and confident quickly.
After a few notes my editor asked a very deep and thought provoking question. It was one so good that I couldn’t help but pause and breathe. I knew there would be questions, but I wasn’t assuming there would be one so intensely on point. My brain felt stretched by the question… in an awesome way.
Last night at yoga Nick mentioned that by pushing ourselves to and just past the edge of what we feel is possible is where we make progress. A couple of weeks ago I thanked our deacon for his homily as it made me feel very uncomfortable in a very positive and thought provoking way. In moments of extreme discomfort we have the opportunity to find growth. Her question pushed me in a similar way.
I opened myself up completely to the question and went with it. My mind and heart let loose the first waves of answers they came up with. As my mind kept moving forward the answers that came out were quite surprising. The question led to more questions… to more answers… to more questions… and so on. It was pretty sweet!
The excellent questions really helped me to hone in on a few of the ideas I really wanted to get across in the story but I hadn’t been able put into words. Heck, some of the thoughts were still somewhat hidden within other writings and ideas. in some ways Phyllis and Anne were like paleontologists digging up fossils and the questions were the picks to help expose the bone. After one single question I was realizing just how grateful I am for their expertise and help.
Progress towards a dream was made and their help and thought provoking questions are already helping to show my dream into a significantly improved version of what I thought possible. I’m very thankful for their help and insights today.
While driving to Eau Claire this morning I was excited to start an audiobook I’d just picked up. As soon as I started driving down my street and went through the mental checklist of my upcoming day. In short order I realized that there was more I needed to think through on a specific challenge today. For half a second I sat paralyzed, torn between my desire to start my new book (a biography of Red Cloud) and focusing energy and thought on a time sensitive project. That half second passed and I left the radio off.
For the entire distance I drove in silence. No background noise, no music, just the sound of the road under my tires. I watched my environment only as much as necessary to drive safely. My mind was focused on the task at hand. After a while of mentally manipulating the scenario I happened upon an almost perfect solution. The next several minutes were then spent on working through the solution and role playing it in my mind.
After feeling confident in my response I then moved on to another topic in the same methodical way, and then on to another. When I felt my thoughts starting to drift a little I caught myself as if my car had hit the rumble strips. In no time I shook the other line of thoughts from my head and went back to the task at hand.
By the time my 90 minutes of driving were up I’d worked through more than I thought I’d be able to in a day, let alone such a short period of time. What really caught my attention was the space my mind had to breathe with a combination of solitude and focus. It felt amazing!
It took quite a bit of energy to stay focused like that, but everything in life takes practice. I’ll certainly continue to focus on growing this practice to help my brain attain the space it needs for optimal performance.
Taking time to fully relax and chill doesn’t always come naturally to me. I like staying busy and find that I enjoy time working and creating and being active. Pausing to do nothing kind of drives me bonkers. I still remember a time in Hawaii while in a action when a friend told me I had to quit pacing and relax, my nervous energy was making her anxious. There I was in paradise and in a perfect spot to chill, but my body and mind just weren’t ready to.
Cue a soccer weekend! Spending time in Madison with Gavin this weekend has involved much bonus time to sit still. With the first of our backpacking trips coming up I know I should be resting my legs a bit so they’re fresh. Left to my own devices I’d find an excuse to be exercising them today, probably hiking.
The forced rest / quiet time has been a very positive experience for me over the past 24-ish hours and I can feel my stress levels drop and my stillness increase. It feels pretty awesome… in small doses 😉
Talk about perfect soccer weather! The sun is out but not unbearable. There’s a calm breeze blowing. There are just enough clouds to break up a little sun. The weather is great. It smells like freshly cut grass. Long story short, it’s perfect soccer weather.
While typing this I am sitting alone in my car with the windows down. The boys already had their first game and are warming up for their second game. Earring them home and laugh while kicking the balls around has me smiling. They aren’t laying back or sitting down exhausted, they’re right back at it and full of energy. How awesome that they are enjoying the nonstop engine of youth.
Thankful for Forty 