Day 2,802

Growth:

Not every book is going to blow my mind. Even the ones I’m super pumped up about and excited to read will sometimes turn out to be duds, and that’s okay.

The one I finished today was exactly that, a total bust. The biggest compliment I would give it is that the book is short 😂

What’s I’m thankful for and re-learned today is that even in a book like this one there are still ideas generated by it and lessons to take away. I don’t know that reading is ever a total waste, sometimes it’s just a little more difficult to extract good ideas from a disappointing book.

Appreciation:

At work today I had a conversation with a teammate about how quickly kids grow up. Sooooo glad that I did! At one point before yoga tonight I caught myself wishing that it was next week again so I could get to a normal schedule and routine. In an instant I thought back to that conversation earlier and kicked my butt and brain back into the right mindset, to enjoy each and every moment of the ride, no matter how chaotic it may be! Super glad for that reminder and for it kicking into my melon exactly when I needed to hear it again!

Presence:

With all the different directions we are all going this week and have been going next week it has been a bit of a rarity to see all four of us at home at the same time. Tonight we had about 20 minutes or so and it was wonderful getting caught up with where and what the boys have been up! The extra namaste from yoga helped me stay 100% focused on being hear and talking with them while we were all together.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,801

Growth:

Even four day weekends can be tiring 😉 Very awesome weekend overall, but I am looking forward to going to bed shortly. Bring on the sleep and an early morning hike tomorrow!

Appreciation:

So much fun going through all of Dominic’s old pics, even though it was for the third day in a row! This has been quite the project, but the photos are now printed and all that’s left is mounting them to the display boards. Dominic tagged in with some of his ideas for pics as well which added to the enjoyment. While digging up a couple of specific pics I came across a bunch of old pics that had not been sorted with the rest and it added a handful of additional laughs as I went back through more old memories. This project has been time consuming but has brought more smiles than I can count!

Presence:

Watering the marching band today was a ton of fun! As the boys get older we seem to get to know more and more of their classmates which adds to the satisfaction of helping the band out. Listening to them interact was a blast and more than mildly entertaining. This was also Dominic’s last hurrah as a drum major which was wild, crazy to think that just about a year ago he surprised us with the news that he was selected for the role.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,800

Growth:

While getting home and staying home sounded enticing we decided to do our weekly grocery shopping instead. Tomorrow’s me is going to be very happy we did. Remember to eat my veggies first, dessert will be sweeter.

Appreciation:

Today included one on one time with each of the boys. One was more serious and a very in-depth conversation. The other was totally chill and lighthearted. Each was exactly what we all needed and it was awesome!

Presence:

It’s 100% okay to take naps as an adult. I did this afternoon and it was amazing!!!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,799

Growth:

We are what they grow beyond. That is the burden of all masters.

Yoda

Yet again, Dominic showed his uncanny wisdom today. I was about to force an issue when Dominic shared profound insight that helped me respond correctly. Humbling to learn from my own son, and at the same time so happy to learn from my own son.

Appreciation:

In preparation for Dominic’s graduation party I’ve started pulling old photos for a picture board. I’m already a few hours in and I still have many thousands of photos to go.

What I’m grateful for is taking so many pictures. Each one brings back so many memories! Each is a gift, a moment of positive reflection, a story, a memory, and the start of a conversation. While the memories are still there without the photos they are more easily teased out with a picture. So many wonderful moments of a life shared!

Presence:

Many moments off savoring wildlife today! Countless deer and turkey, a coyote, and a skunk were all on display. What took the cake was standing still near the hummingbird feeders and taking in the sights and sounds of those hungry little dudes! So centering to be only a foot or so away as they dart around.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,798

Growth:

Relax and enjoy the ride! Why stress when there’s to much more to life than the stuff we typically allow ourselves to stress over. Deep breaths, relax, look at the bigger picture, remember impermanence, and the world is a better place.

Appreciation:

Wowza, we have a son who’s graduated from high school… how did that happen??? So thankful for the time we’ve had with Dominic so far, looking forward to his next adventures, and so proud of the incredible man he has become!

Presence:

This afternoon about 2:30 I paused to take in a memory. I savored it, enjoyed it, and appreciated it. Six years ago I took time to do just that and I am so grateful I did. I did the same today and it reminded me to appreciate so much more.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,797

Growth:

Choose to feed the right wolf and the gap almost closes on its own.

Appreciation:

I’m a huge believer in setting crazy goals. The boys did just that this year for their track season and then went out and put in the work all year long to give themselves an opportunity to achieve those goals. Both Dominic and Gavin saw the culmination of all but one of those goals tonight. So thankful for their opportunity to harness their internal grit and push themselves past what they thought possible.

Kudos to Gavin for earning his spot on the 4×800 team and for earning a solo spot at Sectionals!

Kudos to Dominic for his teams’ 4×800 and 4×400 successes, for earning an opportunity to compete in the 800, for going sub 2 minutes in the 800, and for punching his ticket to State!

Presence:

Cheering for the boys at track Sectionals was amazing. The moment when Dominic kicked in the afterburners with about 150m left to go from fourth to a solid first will give me chills the rest of my life. Pure guts and heart were on display. What an event to be present at!

Thanks!!!

Day 2,796

Growth:

Remember to use past mistakes as a way to grow forward. While it doesn’t change what happened it makes a huge impacts on what happens. Today I learned from past mistakes and was pleasantly surprised.

Appreciation:

There are many things I am grateful for today, so many that it would be tomorrow before I finished typing them all. When I consider them all – the good, the bad, and everything in between – I realized that what really jumps out as what I am grateful for today is an old parable about two wolves.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

https://www.urbanbalance.com/the-story-of-two-wolves/

Presence:

Timing is everything sometimes. Today I got a card out of the blue that moved me to happy tears. For so many reasons the messages inside hit me so powerfully in the feels. The moments I read the card and the moments I sat in my chair and wept joyful tears were medicine for my soul and were profoundly centering.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,795

Growth:

Wasn’t it just a few days ago that I felt like I had closed the gap? This evening I feel like the Grand Canyon has opened wider than it has in a long time. I had an opportunity to see just how much work I need to do to live into being a better me and it was quite humbling. I lost my cool, I let emotions get the better of me, and wish I could have a do over, but I can’t. I can learn from this experience, use the memory of it as a way to grow forward, and as an opportunity to be better in the future.

Appreciation:

Days like today are difficult but important. Days that hurt and don’t feel good are opportunities to grow. It would be easy to get pulled into frustration, anger, and other negative thoughts, but that won’t help anything. The question to keep in mind is “What can I learn from this?” That will unlock the keys and help me process.

I’m also grateful for this daily practice of taking time to pause and reflect. This was exactly what my brain needed today to help process – and a good night of sleep!

Days like this don’t happen often, when they do I am doubly thankful. I’m thankful for all the wonderful days that haven’t been like this that are so easy to take for granted AND I’m appreciative for the opportunity to grow and learn. Beyond the edges are where we truly find ourselves.

Presence:

I was almost too present in a specific meeting today, and not in a good way. Due to the way I reacted I continued to get more and more worked up when I really should have been pausing to breathe, to zoom out, and to create a little space. Interesting that as much as I appreciate presence that there is a point in which can become a negative. There’s a lot to unpack from today.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,794

Growth:

Hard work, grit, focus, and determination pay off.

Appreciation:

So awesome to see both boys giving it their all in pursuit of their dreams. The effort they put in blows my mind!

Presence:

The moments of joy and celebration the boys had after their races were moments I’ll hold tight.

Thanks!!!

Day 2,793

Growth:

Taking a moment to pause, zoom out, and see how to best tackle a challenge is something Becky did awesomely today! Gavin had to referee a soccer match in Holmen and then needed a ride immediately afterwards to track practice. He would be running late for track so Dominic would already be at track and unable to drive him.

Becky saw the perfect line for this one. We dropped Gavin off at his match, drove to a nearby hiking trail, got an hour long hike in through the woods, picked Gavin up, and then dropped him off at practice.

I would have gotten frustrated and not necessarily have seen such an elegant solution. It was a wonderful reminder for me to pause rather than taking immediate action, zoom out, and then make the right call. Talk about a perfect thought to have in my mind before a wildly crazy week.

Appreciation:

This has been quite the day! Throughout the day I was provided the opportunity to be the dad I want to be, the dad I feel I should be. It was a lot of work, it took a handful of deep breaths, it took time to remember to pause and think like Becky helped me with in the Growth section above, it took reminders of lessons from my parents, and it took a bit of improvising. All in all, I felt like I lived closer to the other side of the gap than normal. Progress made, some stuff to work on, and positive memories created thanks to Dominic’s dog park Eagle Scout project and Gavin’s Hope Project for his humanities class.

Presence:

LOL – Not gonna lie, I started to write about how I felt like I was present for most of the day, even got a few sentences in, and then laughed as a memory popped back into my head from this morning. While I felt like I was locked in much of the day there was a moment that really proved how un-present I was and that moment is one that I am thankful for today.

This morning I made coffee. I ground the beans, put the filter in, added the grounds, poured in the water and turned the coffee maker on. I felt like something was off, like the filter wasn’t quite the right size. I was too busy thinking ahead to the day and just kept moving. When Becky came into the kitchen she looked at the coffee maker, then looked at the filter basket drying on the counter, back at the coffee maker, back to the filter basket, and then at me.

“Missing something?”

Cue the facepalm! I had been in such a state of un-presence that I had put the filter in without the basket, hence the reason it seemed like the filter didn’t quite fit right. Oops!

What a great reminder first thing in the morning to stay focused and to be present! That helped set the path in a much better direction for the rest of the day.

Thanks!!!