Tag: Family

Thankful for Trying Not to Pull a Dad, Gavin’s College Application Essays, & More Vacation Reminders

Day 3,677

Growth:

LOL – this one is going to sound interesting, but I’m thankful for the moments when I stop myself from sounding like my dad. For sure, Dad was my hero, someone I looked up to greatly and respected tremendously, but there was something he did that used to drive me bonkers… In the moments in which I catch myself I know he’s smiling while simultaneously rolling his eyes.

Dad was a master of asking me to help, not sharing any direction, taking on the work himself, and then getting frustrated when I couldn’t read his mind. This was usually manifest in the moments in which he was trying to manipulate two or more large pieces of wood in a very short period of time with very serious long term impacts if done correctly. I would do what I thought he would want, he woudl say it was wrong and not give direction, I would guess again, and I would be told I was wrong while he grunted, worked three times as hard, and somehow got the work done while being frustrated.

Sadly, I hate to admit it, but I was way too good of a learner of that habit! I’ve caught myself often doing the same thing, getting just as frustrated, and then laughing at myself for being a moron afterwards. The more aware of this tendency I have become the earlier I start laughing at myself.

This morning I caught myself long before it happened, chuckled out lout, and then had to explain the entire story to a couple of teammates.

Take a deep breath, communicate clearly on what needs to be done, allow time for questions, and then take action. Everyone will be much happier AND the project will be done correctly.

Appreciation:

Gavin has been sharing a few of his college application essays with us over the past week. Each has left me smiling from ear to ear, so proud of the person he has grown into! While I won’t get into the topics (those are his to share), I can say that my heart is beyond full today. Having this opportunity to look at the world through his eyes has been enlightening and rewarding!

Presence:

During a lull in our onsite hiring event my teammates and I got into a conversation on traveling to Iceland – one of my all time favorite conversation topics, no doubt! As we talked about different things to see and experience there my mind kept racing back to the memories created from our trips there. The pictures and videos I shared with the team put me back into those moments, re-living the memory while sharing it with others.

The investment in vacation and travel to create memories and be present – always well worth it!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Appreciation, My Dream List, & Pockets of Time with Gavin

Day 3,667

Growth:

Appreciation was the main theme of toady’s sermon at church and it was a winner! Father John shared examples of how this past week had been a series of struggles, unexpected obstacles in what was planned to be a relatively relaxed week. Throughout those challenges he did as much as could, controlled as much as he could, and then finally have to give in and allow space for help. While he focused on that being the space in which God helped, I saw it slightly differently.

After he tried to do something on his own it was only after he failed when he asked for help. When the help was provided he found gratitude in that space, an appreciation for the help. How true this is in so many ways! What if we all learned to accept help sooner in order to work through a difficulty?

Another note that caught my attention and resonated with the concepts fo so many of the books and stories I’ve read lately – we grow most and have the most to be thankful for when struggle, when we face adversity. That is when we are pushed to grow, to receive help, to see we are not alone, and to be grateful.

So much to take away from this one, I’m glad it is recorded so I can go back and re-listen and absorb it more deeply.

Appreciation:

This afternoon I skipped the Packer game and focused on working on my dream list. Rather than taking in a game I realized my time would be better spent ensuring I was working on the right goals for the upcoming years. It started off a bit uncomfortable, I struggled to get the list up and running. With each successive dream recorded I gained momentum. The sunlight on my face while sitting on the deck, the music playing quietly in the background, and the fresh air provided the perfect environment to stay focused on shaping my future.

While I typically wait until the beginning of the year to reset my dream list I realized last year that there was a benefit to getting this rolling early as I start my annual planning process for 2026. Crazy to think that 2026 is only two and a half months away! If I want to live into my best life I need to remember to put the focus on intentionality and planning. Glad I did both this afternoon!

Presence:

While Becky and I had our mini-date on Friday and Saturday I had a nice pocket of one on one time with Gavin today. Nothing crazy, eating lunch together while watching football. Joking around and playing some cards. No real deep conversation, just enjoying each others company.

There are not too many of these times left, I remember how quickly Dominic’s senior year flew by. The inertia of time somehow continued to increase throughout that school year and was gone before I knew it. To have the opportunity share a pocket of time with Gavin like this was sublime!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for A Quote on Judgement, Awareness of Joy Causing Activities, & Workshop Time with Gavin

Day 3,653

Growth:

As I’ve started reading Montaigne by Stefan Zweig there’ve been so many little nuggets of wisdom I’ve filed away to reflect on in the future. This one in particular struck me with the current state of affairs in our society / nation / world.

I do not subscribe to this communal error of judging a man according to the way I perceive things.

Stefan Zweig, Montaigne

Appreciation:

Today was an awesomely productive day, a nonstop high speed thrill ride of errands, projects, and other assorted tasks. For sure, it was a day largely full of adulting, but all in a very positive way. Funny how I used to look forward to days with nothing to do but sit on the couch and watch football, now I find days like this to be so much more rewarding and fulfilling!

This has been a bit of an ongoing theme over the past few days. Looking at several years ago when I would take Friday off for Oktoberfest and have too many beers, now I had the perfect Friday off thanks for knocking out a 15 mile hike and then spent the evening at Gavin’s football game. So much more rewarding and fulfilling than how I lived life a ways back. For sure, it wasn’t anything crazy or out of control, but even just the difference in scenery this year is so much more my style and my jam.

As I keep typing and thinking about this, I guess that’s what I am most grateful for today… a better understanding of or maybe a better awareness of what brings me the most joy and leads me towards my purpose AND then choosing it and enjoying it even if that path isn’t quite as relaxing as the other.

Presence:

Spending time in the workshop with Gavin as we built a fixture to help him cut lumber for his Eagle project was a blast! So grateful for the father son time up in the workshop – full of jokes, talks, coaching, teaching, and creating. The time we spent there and in working on his project today was a wonderful way to spend the day! Projects like that with him cause time to fly and memories to be made.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Perfect Weekend Day

Day 3,632 (Crazy to think that it will be a DECADE of daily blogging in only 22 days!)

There is so much to unpack from today, but it is all pretty simple in the overall concept… This was pretty much the perfect weekend day. So much happening, so many moments of presence, reminders of appreciation throughout, lots of personal connection, and so many nuggets of learning mixed in.

Maybe the best way to run this one out is to go with a list kind of day. Additionally, this format provides me an opportunity to walk back through the day in a little more full detail and enjoy it all a second time 😉

  • The morning started off with a mug full of some amazing coffee. Scratch that, it started off with the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee while I laid in bed as Becky had gotten up before me and worked her magic.
  • Breakfast was a couple of slices of cold pizza leftover from last night – glorious!
  • To kick off the morning Becky found a hysterical video which caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Short and sweet, but nice starting the day with a good belly laugh like that!
  • Becky and I packed up for hiking and a trip to Eau Claire to watch Dominic’s rugby scrimmage. As we got rolling she recommended we fire up a podcast she had recently listened to. The Ologies podcast has been one of her recent go to’s and this episode was focused specifically on the science of happiness. Here were some of the key takeaways and moments of a-ha’s!
    • The concept of “Time Affluence,” the sense of having enough time, is a critical component of happiness. This really hit home with how I feel amazing on days like today (very limited structure) and I feel almost claustrophobic on days when I am planning out my next few weeks.
    • Choosing to view ourselves Objectively rather than Relatively. Consider the studies of happiness levels of someone who won the silver medal versus the bronze medal. The bronze medalist is almost always smiling much bigger than the silver medalist who often looks sad and disappointed. Consider that we are really good at something or that we really enjoyed something, don’t compare it to what others do or what they have. Look internally for happiness.
    • Are we happy both “in our life” and “with our life”? Are we happy in the moment of what we are doing in life? Are we happy with where our life is going towards a purpose? Both are important and and not always related (and sometimes can almost be at odds with each other).
    • Awareness, awareness, awareness! Step outside of ourselves and observe how we are reacting to something, consider why we are reacting that way. Don’t observe with the intent of changing or correcting, rather, observe to understand more fully. We can’t fix what we are not aware of.
    • I’d 100% recommend this podcast to anyone looking to add a little extra joy to their lives (that should be all of us, right?). Check out the episode we listened to here: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/eudemonologyencore
  • The conversations Becky and I got into while listening to the podcast and after the podcast were engaging and insightful. So appreciative to be in love with a fellow lifelong learner!
  • Our hike in Perot was soooooo chill! The weather was perfect, the trails were quiet, so much to observe and take in all around us. Everything was so green it was awesome! The feel of hiking on a fall day is something I will never tire of. Hiking with Becky and joking, talking, and walking in silence, all exactly what I needed.
  • While on the hike I was reminded of an adventure Steve and I went on kayaking on the Black River a while back, it may have spurred on ideas to attempt it again.
  • Dominic’s rugby scrimmage was so much fun to watch! He was one of the starters and got quite a few opportunities to impact the game on both offense and defense. So much fun watching him do something he loves.
  • During the game I was able to make a quick sprint and caught a ball way out of bounds. I know, super cheesy, but it was so much fun to enjoy the fleeting moment of feeling like I was almost in the game, almost a kid again. Super minor, but such a blast regardless!
  • A handful of Dominic’s friends from high school came to the match to cheer him on. They hung out with Becky and I throughout the game and we shot the bull the entire time. so much fun seeing the kids we used to see often grow into the men they have become. I swear each age of our son’s and their friends has somehow continued to be better than the year before.
  • Our ride back was so chill, the dog was absolutely toast from all the hiking and excitement. We stopped by the apple orchard, grabbed some apples, ciders, and maybe a caramel apple pie or two. So nice being outside and having a little mini date with the two of us. Fresh apples off the tree… so deelish!
  • At the grocery store we saw a mom with two small kids which brought back fond memories for us as well as a little laugh as we saw reminders of the happiness podcast concepts in her expression.
  • Gavin was home from his volunteer work and was in an awesomely talkative mood. We shot the bull for a while and then the and I continued the conversation at Dick’s as we picked up a knee brace for him. We may have also had some bonus fun dreaming up a home gym and pricing it out while we were there. Great one on one time with him, nice to have such fun conversation with him.
  • I got a little bonus time to make a quick fix on the grill as it warmed up. Nothing crazy or difficult, but just enough to feel like I got to problem solve, work with my hands, and be productive. A nice little chill moment.
  • There were a couple of awesome brother moments that don’t need detail. Long story short, I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love my brother and how grateful I am for the relationship my sons have with each other.
  • Grilling brats, drinking a hard cider, joking with the family. Throw in eating out of my grandma’s old stainless steel bowls from the 1950’s and it was a wonderful dinner outside on the deck!
  • Game night was fun (even though Gavin destroyed Becky and I in both Catan and Skipbo), another evening spent around the kitchen table, one of my favorite places in the world. The addition of caramel apple pie with vanilla caramel ice cream was a banger!
  • As we wrapped up the night Gavin and I fired up a movie. Sitting on the couch and taking it in we were both making comments on what we appreciated about it. I also look forward to knowing we’ll bring it up in conversation on again off again for the better part of a week or two, reminding us of that time together. Nice and chill to wrap things up.
  • Typing this blog has only increased the size of my smile today! Crazy to see all that happened appear as words on my screen. Each memory has brought back a smile and jogged my memory on other things I was grateful for. This daily thought practice has been proven over and over again over the past ten years to help me sleep with a focus on good stuff in life so much more than the frustrating.

Whew!!! What a day!!! Seriously, so many moments of joy throughout the day. I grew. I appreciated. I was present. Throw all of those together with the connections with those I love and it was pretty epic. To all who played a part in my today, thank you!!!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Take Photos Often, Travel, & So Many Shared Moments

Day 3,180

Growth:

Take photos almost constantly. Don’t let the lens get in the way of the experience itself, rather, allow it to become an extension of oneself. This way we are both 100% present in the moment AND we have the embers of memory to rekindle the fires when we view the photos. One well timed picture can light up an entire inferno of wonderful memories. As I’ve been reviewing the photos from our vacation my heart has been warmed many times by the flames of memory.

Appreciation:

Many years ago in a hotel room in San Francisco on a work trip I came across a quote which has stuck with me. The Marriott brand hotel had a beautiful travel magazine sharing experiences they had available and amongst the incredible adventures was this nugget which has stuck with me ever since:

Travel lets us see ourselves in a new way. With our minds free to dream, goals become clearer, moments grow richer, and we return home fuller than when we left.

Marriott Bonvoy

Another travel adventure has been had by my family and I. The time away has allowed me to dream bigger, to start putting together some bigger goals. The moments I’ve share with my family are so much more vivid and rich. I’m definitely returning home much fuller than when I left.

Travel is an opportunity to create space in our lives to intentionally focus on awe and wonder. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to take this time traveling with my family.

Interesting little side note… I found the initial blog I wrote on February 25, 2017 when I wrote about this quote. You can check it out here: https://thankful4forty.com/2017/02/25/day-151-thankful-for-added-motivation/. I then wrote about it again two years later https://thankful4forty.com/2019/02/27/day-882-thankful-for-talking-vacations-with-strangers-a-comment-from-a-teammate-last-week-and-a-quote-from-two-years-ago/. Enjoy!!!

Presence:

So many moments strung together over a week and a half, each a gift to each other, a new inside joke, a shared experience, a moment of awe together, love shared amongst family. Nothing quite like travel to create the space for an increased level of awareness with family!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Setting Goals in Advance, the Serenity NOW!!!, & Eating Outside

Day 3,121

Growth:

With selling our boat there were two big goals we had – sell it quickly rather than drag on the process and get a fair price for it. We did our research on the set up and set the price very fair. When I posted it this morning I wasn’t sure what to expect. Within two hours we had almost a dozen offers!

While part of me questioned whether I priced it too low or not I remembered to pause and consider the goal. Get it sold quickly and at a fair price. The asking price we threw out there was very fair and I would have been happy to get it. With as quickly as the offers came in I couldn’t help but wonder if I should have priced it lower. When this thought came up I just kept going back to the initial goal, why second guess what I thought was fair from the beginning?

The entire process has been a wonderful opportunity to learn about myself and my values. So thankful for remembering to set goals when I have the benefit of extra time, less emotion, and a clear head. In the heat of the moment it is so easy to second guess and reconsider, remember to think ahead and trust the plan.

Appreciation:

Selling the boat has been a bittersweet process. While it is time to move on as the boys have outgrown it and we want to move on to other water based adventures (canoeing and kayaking), there are so many family stories and memories tied up in the boat. For the past 14-ish years we’ve spent a ton of our spare summer time on boat as a family soaking up the sun, playing in the sand, and splashing in the water. Wrapping up this chapter brings back so many memories and emotion.

Who’d ever have thought you could go through a sort of grieving process over the loss of a boat? For sure, the metal itself isn’t a big deal, just the memories it symbolizes. When I remember that it is so much easier to let it go. The memories will live on regardless of if have it, and now someone else will have the opportunity to create more memories with their family.

Here’s to 14 years of a vessel for our family fun and bonding!

Presence:

Is there any better place to eat a family meal than outside on the deck? The weather today was PERFECT and we ate both lunch and supper outside in the sun. Gotta love how much better the food tastes when it is eaten outside!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Family Motivation, Balance and Counterbalance, & Ninety Minutes of Churning Calm

Day 3,022

Growth:

As a family we continue to push and motivate each other to more than we would likely do on our own. Thanks to wanting to keep up with my sons while hiking on our next adventures I hit the gym for a solid Saturday workout. Gavin asked Dominic to lead him in a speed workout for track. They pushed each other and Dominic worked Gavin so hard that Gavin tossed his cookies at the end of the run… twice. The motivation of Dominic helped Gavin push himself further than he likely would have on his own. 

Tonight I’m very appreciative for the ways we help push and motivate each other as a family.

Appreciation:

Life is sometimes about balance and counterbalance. Last night I wrote about being grateful for the high umber of connections I made throughout the day. So much of my day was spent in interactions with others and engaging with them. Today has been very much the opposite and I’m just as appreciative of it.

The morning kicked off with a short conversation with Dominic before we all split up to go our separate ways for our workouts this morning. I had my AirPods in while I knocked out 90 minutes of solo stairclimbing with no interaction with anyone else in the gym. Dominic and I were going in different directions afterwards and I was off to pick up Gavin before Dominic left for work. Gavin and I talked for a little while on our drive, but then it was off to showers and then lunch. We took Leia for a four mile hike and spent much of it in silence as we both took in the stillness of the forest. Some more interaction on our way home and then I was off to the grocery store. 

At the store my AirPods were in and I enjoyed one of my favorite solo experiences – listening to music amongst a crowd of people. I was in the world, but not of the world. I know, sounds goofy, but it feels amazing to find a pocket of “aloneness” in the midst of a crowd. 

More quick interactions with Gavin as we unloaded groceries, and then he was off to hang out with his buddies. As I type I’m surrounded by the cacophony of laughter that is exploding up from the basement stairs. They’re obviously having a blast and I’m enjoying the second hand sounds of it. 

It’s largely been a day of disconnectedness and I’m grateful for it. Such a beautiful counterbalance to yesterday!

Presence:

For ninety minutes I climbed steps to nowhere while sweating my butt off and smiling the entire way. I had my audiobook on and just kept putting one foot in front of the other for much longer than I’d planned. My hope was to do about half of what I did, but I was feeling great and decided to keep on going. 

In many ways it reminded me of the state of mind I used to get into during long distance runs, when I was kind of zoning out to the world, but traveling inward and listening to and engaging with my thoughts with so much more clarity than other times in life. The ongoing monotony of the motion kind of creates its own stillness, not too different than what I wrote about a couple of days ago with watching the hourglass.

Ninety minutes of a churning calm, ninety moments of presence.

Thanks!!!

Day 1,993 – Thankful for Family Helping Each Other Through Grief

Our boxer, Skywalker, passed away suddenly today after doing her favorite thing, going for a walk with Becky and LuLu (Skywalker’s sister). The loss of one of our family was very much unexpected and rough for everyone in our home. It still feels very surreal and seems to hit each of us at different times.

The boys and I were up at Mom’s when we got the call from Becky. We quickly realized that the right place for us to be at that moment was home with Becky and LuLu. Huge thanks and appreciation to Mom for understanding our need to cut our trip very short. Our ride home was brutal, each of us dealing with the sudden loss. The two hour drive seemed to last three times that long.

Once home we spent time together in the living room snuggling with LuLu and looking through old pictures and videos of Skywalker. From there we all just crashed on the couches and fired up a movie while snuggling with LuLu. Pretty soon I’ll be off to bed.

Tomorrow we’ll start our first day without Sky around sharing her positive energy with us right away in the morning. At least we will continue helping each other through the loss as a family. As difficult as it is to suffer loss, I am so thankful for our ability to help each other through it as a family.

Thanks!!!