Spending time hunting with the boys and my father in law has led to some amazing memories, creating some new while remembering some old. They’ve both been deer hunting for a couple of years now, but participating firsthand with them for the first time has been nothing short of mind-blowing.

For the much of the day my brain has been focused on writing my blog on how grateful I am for all that Ken does to create a memorable hunting experience for the boys. From prepping multiple hunting stands to helping sight in rifles to sitting in the stands with them to cleaning and prepping the venison he’s there every single step of the way, sacrificing so much of his time and energy to help the boys have a great hunting experience. Seeing just how much he pours into hunting for my boys and all of his grandkids is inspiring and reminds me of what it means to leave a legacy.

What’s interesting is also seeing that the advice they receive from him is priceless and transcends hunting. The boys see how to prepare, how to anticipate, how to handle success, and how to stay calm and learn from mistakes. They’ve seen how to keep their patience, how to work hard, how to be grateful for and respect the animal, how to treat the land, how to treat others, and how to make a gift of themselves – all from Ken. Some of these things they may not have realized yet, but I’m certain that they will someday look back to some of these experiences and realize that they’ve helped to build their character and values.

Like I said, that was almost the topic of the blog, but not quite. When I think about the big picture I am even more grateful for is the boys continuing to create hunting memories with Grandpa. They’re creating more memories that will come back to them often and will bring joy to their hearts and smiles to their faces. Each experience is one they may end up sharing with their kids or their grandkids one day. No mater what happens in life they will always have those memories to warm them when they need them.

Over the past 72 hours or so my mind has been continuing to think of Dad. From putting on his camouflage GP ball cap to carrying his old hunting whistle to carrying his hunting knife there have been specific items that have brought back so many memories. The entire routine of packing up the night before, waking up early to head out, sitting in a stand, walking back in and sharing stories, and so many other moments have reminded me of those times with Dad. I feel silly to admit it, but I almost teared up when Dominic and I started gutting his deer. We both just kind of froze as we realized I’d only seen it once and he’d never done it on his own. In that moment I chuckled and remembered how Dad walked me through the process the first (and only) time I got a deer. I knew he was smiling from above when I made a couple of the same jokes he did 30-ish years ago.

This whole weekend has been like a giant hug from Dad wrapped in the arms of memories we created together. Even decades later they still bring back so much joy and love. I miss him tremendously but am so grateful for all of the amazing experiences he created for me. I am so fortunate to have had as much time with him as I did – and times like this weekend remind me of that.

And that’s what wraps me back up to what I am the most thankful for today – the boys are continuing to create hunting memories like that with their grandpa. Even some of the more mundane moments of the weekend may materialize out of the blue in their memories one day and bring about the smile they needed. Maybe they’ll be reminded of a memory they learned from hunting with their grandpa and smile when they see how he taught them through example. Some day far in the future they may be sitting in a tree stand one day and and be moved by the memories of their time with him and then love he shared with them the same way I was this weekend. What an incredible gift for my boys, I am so grateful for their experiences with Grandpa.

Thanks!!!

PS: My apologies in advance Ken, but I’m going to be sure to get a picture of you and the boys together during hunting season! 😉

Instead of sleeping in a little or waking up to get some exercise I was up early for a completely different reason. Today was the first morning of the Youth Deer Hunt so we were up and at it early this morning so we were ready to hunt as soon as we legally could be.

Gavin was sitting out with his Grandpa Ken while Dominic was stuck with me. Thank goodness he already has a lot of hunting experience to make up for my very rusty and sub-mediocre skills!

Sitting in the blind with Dominic brought back so many memories. It’s been easily 20+ years since I last went deer hunting and yet it felt so comfortable and normal. Of course, I wasn’t technically hunting and didn’t have a gun, but for youth hunt the young adult must have a mentor within arm’s reach while they hunt.

We sat and waited for the sun to rise and for the clock to hit the time it was legal to shoot. Being outside that early was amazing and the fresh air was so relaxing. Watching the does come and go was great, being so close to deer and wildlife was so peaceful. Almost a little too peaceful as there were more than a few times I almost dozed off! While there were no bucks it was a wonderful time outside spending time with Dominic.

Later in the day we went back out and this time Dominic had much better success. A nice seven pointer came in, turned sideways and Dominic took a beautiful shot. The buck didn’t make it very far. Being there in that moment with Dominic was awesome to say the least. He was so jacked it was amazing!

Throughout the day I couldn’t help but think back often on memories of hunting with Dad back in the day. Waking up early, walking out in the dark, sitting and watching the wildlife, and maybe even sneaking in a nap in the sun. There are so many memories I have with Dad in the wild like that and each of them make me smile big. To have the opportunity to create one of those moments with Dominic was priceless.

Gavin’s day didn’t go quite as well, but he still seemed to enjoy it greatly. For him to have time with his Grandpa in the woods like that is fantastic. I’m so thankful for the relationship the boys have built with him while doing outdoor things and hunting. Gavin will have many successes ahead of him as long as he continues to enjoy hunting, I’m excited for an opportunity to hunt with him the same way I did with Dominic today.

Dominic – congrats on the buck dude, super proud of you! Gavin – great job handling adversity and keeping your chin up, proud of you bud!

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to hunt with the boys and grateful for each of the excellent memories the experience brought back for me from times in the woods with Dad. What a gift!

Thanks!!!

A few days ago I had an opportunity to test myself. There’s a business we’ve been working on for quite some time. They appear to be an almost perfect fit our business and vice versa. After working on them for well over a year we got an opportunity to help them out. We had an appointment set for Tuesday, but due to an unexpected issue they had to re-schedule. When they reached out to let us know they asked about meeting late in the afternoon today. And that’s where my test started.

One of the reasons I love the book Essentialism is the sharing of a couple of deeply personal stories. In one the author shares the story of leaving his only hours old daughter at the hospital with his wife to attend a business meeting. The meeting doesn’t go well and he is guilt ridden over making the wrong choice.

Later in the book he shares the example of someone else who’s promised his daughter to spend the night together going out to eat and having fun with just the two of them. As luck would have he runs into some colleagues who invite him out to spend time with them that night. He starts his response by saying that sounds wonderful… but he’s already promised his daughter he would be spending the night with her and he wasn’t going to break that promise.

What a contrast, right? Which one would you like to think you would do? Which one would you actually emulate if the opportunity presented itself? As I’ve learned from past experience it’s always more difficult to live into the right answer in reality than it is in a vacuum.

Back to my conversation from Tuesday. When I got the email asking if we could meet at 3pm I paused for a second. In less than a second I had the two previous stories running through my head. I smiled, trusted the universe, and composed an email along these lines:

“Thank you for the opportunity to meet, we appreciate the chance to work with you. Unfortunately I will not be able to meet after noon on Friday as I promised my two boys I’d take them up north for youth deer hunting. Would it be possible to meet prior to noon or would next week be better? Thank you for your flexibility, I hope you can understand my need to consider a different time.”

What happened next had me smiling even bigger… Not only did I get an immediate email saying that would work, he started a conversation that”s now gone several emails long talking about hunting and life up north. We set the new time AND built a stronger relationship AND I was able to keep my commitment to my boys. How awesome is that?

I’m so grateful for learning from those two stories, they helped me choose the right path.

Thanks!!!

Two great friends each have me a wonderful birthday present. Seeing as I enjoy reading, contemplating, and applying new ideas to life they each found a book that they thought would be meaningful for me to read. I didn’t want to prioritize one over the other so I tried something different. Both books are sitting on my night stand. Each night before I go to sleep I read a bit out of each.

The content of the books is so dramatically different from each other. I’m finding the balance of reading a little from one and then moving on to the other is both enlightening and soothing. The duality helps to stretch my brain in fun and unique ways.

The first book is Zen Flesh Zen Bones. It is a collection of stories, lessons, and philosophy. The stories themselves are incredible nuggets of info that get my thoughts flowing. While some of them were written hundreds of years ago they still resonate so well today… maybe even more so today with all that’s going on. I’m thinking on the lessons I can’t help but see an exquisite compliment to Stoicism and my religious beliefs. Not in place of, but an addition to, an expansion of both. It has already had a profound impact on my thoughts and actions. I’m very grateful for the gift of this book!

The other book? Aim Low – Quit Often, Expect the Worst, and Other Good Advice. This book isn’t full of centuries old stories, lessons, and philosophy. What it contains are other nuggets of advice such as:

• No, I can’t, or I would have by now.
• Find out if a wrong answer could put you in jail. That will determine the right answer.
• Admit your mistakes and you will mature and grow. Don’t admit them and you might get away with it.

As you can imagine, I’m laughing repeatedly, deeply, and often when I read this book. It’s so cynical and off kilter that I’m caught off guard by the comments even when I have an idea they are coming. I’m enjoying it immensely!

What’s great about this combo is that I start off with humor and then roll into slightly serious before shutting off the light. The humor helps me focus on the present as the laughter leaves no room for thinking about other things in life. The deep thinking with a freshly cleared head helps my soul process the thoughts more completely. Sleep comes swiftly as I’m already in a deep state of chill. When I wake up in the morning the deeper thoughts still linger and set the tone for my day.

I’m very grateful for this daily dose of duality, what a wonderfully calming and joyful combo!

Thanks!!!

Last Friday Becky shared a podcast with me that she said I would find very interesting. It was an episode of This American Life from January of 2015. She thought the topic that would catch my interest the most was discussing internet trolls. The episode starts with a female comedian sharing her story of being trolled online and then she interviews her biggest troll.

I finally listened to it this morning and WOW!!! My mind was blown with the types of insults she had to deal with… and that was before someone trolled her by pretending to be her recently deceased father.  After writing about the incident the troll contacted her to apologize as he realized he’d gone too far.  The two of them then talked over the phone on a recorded conversation to get into his mindset of why he did what he did.

For reals, it is well worth the listen here https://www.thisamericanlife.org/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps , or at least worth reading the transcript herehttps://www.thisamericanlife.org/545/transcript. 

So here’s why I am thankful for this podcast today.  It doesn’t take a long view of social media comments to see how disrespectful people can be to each other online.  There’s something about the screen in between us that seems to bring out the worst in us sometimes. Personally, I know there are a few comments that I look back on and wish I wouldn’t have made.  Hearing this story reminded me to pause and remember the feelings of others prior to posting.  Follow that general rule of thumb of not typing anything I wouldn’t normally say in person.  Pretty straightforward lesson and reminder.

Going deeper, it was interesting to get into the mindset of a troll and see why in the world they would say the things that they do.  The more he explained the sicker I felt because of our society.  Each explanation seemed worse than the previous, including “your happiness reminded me of my unhappiness.”  The funny thing is that when I paused and looked in the mirror I know I haven’t always done well either. I wouldn’t rate them up there along with his, but I could feel some of the similarities in emotions causing the mean comments – envy, greed, loneliness, lack of confidence, and so on. When I’ve made unkind comments the source was usually an emotion tied to one of the aforementioned reasons.

The past is the past, and I focus on living in the present and moving forward.  While I can’t change what I’ve said in the past I can choose my actions moving forward.  The funny thing is that there is a very simple way to eliminate those negative emotions that cause the issue…  gratitude.  If I am focused on being thankful for what I have there is no room for those negative emotions to begin, let alone rise to the surface.  Long story short, this podcast reminded me that gratitude can power our society to new highs by bringing about respectful conversation and eliminating so much unnecessary negativity.

Gratitude, the gift that keeps on giving!

Thanks!!!

I finally remembered the other thing I was going to blog about yesterday! While it happened yesterday I was still thankful for it today so why not add it to the blog tonight, right?

After dropping Gavin off at soccer last night Dominic and I headed to the high school to pick up his homework and paperwork for the next few weeks of online schooling. We thought it’d be a quick trip until we turned the corner and saw a pretty long line of vehicles waiting to turn into the parking lot. Then we saw the line of cars coming from the other direction forming their own line. That line seemed to have the advantage as they were turning right and our line was turning left. My initial thought was a bit of dread thinking that we’d have to wait a long time for enough people to let cars from our line in. Not gonna lie, I’m a little disappointed in myself for thinking that.

What happened next was awesome. Each car from the other lane let one car from our lane turn in before them. Each car from my lane waited until cued by the car in the other lane to go. Over the course of 20 minutes there was only one car that broke from this every other pattern.

I know, it’s such a simple thing, right? But here’s what I’m thankful for. Isn’t this the way our society is supposed to operate? What a beautiful way to have my faith in humanity restored with all of the unrest in the news. Each person helping each other out, taking turns, being nice to each other because it’s the right thing to do. It’s not often that I’m smiling and joyful while waiting in an unexpected line, but I was truly grateful for my time in that line. Seeing everyone being kind to each other reminded me that we’re all greater than the divisive crap going on in the world.

This afternoon our Express Leadership Academy provided a very useful and timely training on COVID-Brain and how to beat it. The instructor helped us understand the biological reasons many are feeling additional stress and how our bodies are reacting to it. Most importantly, she shared ways for us to take a deep breath and beat it.

Some of the solutions included remembering to play, to explore, and to be curious. Taking time to rest and breathe are also very important and she shared the concept of a two minute vacation. The two minute vacation consists of closing your eyes, asking yourself four questions, and picturing the answers in your mind. We did a short version of this and it was very powerful. Little did I know I kind of accidentally stumbled onto this idea with our mini-New Zealand vacation a couple of weekends ago!

What I’m most grateful for on this training was the awareness of the impact of COVID on others and a reminder of the power of gratitude. When someone asked my thoughts of COVID brain I guess I didn’t quite process the question the way others did. I answered that I’m taking time to be thankful for the opportunity to live through this time. Yes, it’s difficult and stressful, but it’s an incredible opportunity to grow and become stronger. Living through a tough time like this is an incredible chance to be pushed outside of my comfort zone to create positive change in my life. I’ve talked more with my boys about resilience in the past six months than I had previously in their entire lives. There are parts of this that suck, to be sure, but I am grateful for the opportunity to live through this. When I focus on “what I can learn from this” and “how can I be grateful for this” even the most difficult times become times I can be thankful for. The conversation today continued to reinforce the power of gratitude to power us through anything in life.

Thanks!!!

Earlier tonight I had an interesting experience. When I went to go out to check on the chicken I had on the grill I found a rapidly cooling grill and two chicken breasts that were about 5 minutes away from being done.

“Son of a…” was exactly what came out of my mouth before I started chuckling at myself. In an instant my quick frustration went to joy. I heard the Facebook comment of my friend Grant go through my head and I couldn’t help but change my attitude.

As luck would have it I wrote a blog about running out of gas while grilling a few months ago. https://thankful4forty.com/2020/07/24/day-1395-thankful-for-another-lesson-in-perspective-my-gas-grill/ When I posted it he made a comment along the lines of “You can even be thankful when you run out of gas?”

When the sudden anger welled up it was quickly quenched with the reminder that this wasn’t the end of the world. Not only that, but a few months ago I was even grateful for running out of gas! As I chuckled I thought to myself, yes, I am thankful for running out of gas. In a heartbeat I realized I was also thankful for the moments in which my gratitude leads me to moments of calm and peace that I wouldn’t have otherwise felt.

Thanks for the comment a few months ago Grant!

For some reason there was a song stuck in my head after our run this morning. It’s a beautiful song, the tune is catchy, and the lyrics are enlightening. The more and more I spend time in thought, in presence, and in gratitude the more this song hits on so many levels. To be clear, not in judgement of others, specifically a reflection of my own thoughts and desires when I’m not as disciplined as I should be, as focused on my purpose as I should be. This song reminds me to stay the path and keep focused.

Society by Eddie Vedder

It’s a mystery to me, We have a greed with which we have agreed, And you think you have to want more than you need, Until you have it all, you won’t be free

Society, you’re a crazy breed, I hope you’re not lonely without me

When you want more than you have, you think you need, And when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed, I think I need to find a bigger place, Cause when you have more than you think, you need more space

Society, you’re a crazy breed, I hope you’re not lonely without me

Society, crazy indeed, Hope you’re not lonely without me

There’s those thinking more or less, less is more, But if less is more, how you keepin score? Means for every point you make your level drops, Kinda like you’re startin’ from the top, And you can’t do that

Society, you’re a crazy breed, I hope you’re not lonely without me

Society, crazy indeed, I hope you’re not lonely without me

Society, have mercy on me, I hope you’re not angry if I disagree

Society, you’re crazy indeed, I hope you’re not lonely without me

Thanks!!!

PS. This blog has sat untyped for more than a several minutes of silence now. There was another gratitude I was going to share but it’s left my mind. Hmm… Here’s to hoping I remember it and can type about it tomorrow. Cheers!

Sometimes the things I’m most thankful for are amongst the most simple. Today we got a wonderful hike in as a family. Is there much better than spending time in the woods in the fall in Wisconsin? The leaves were beautiful, the forest was quiet and serene. We spent time talking as a family and we also spent time in silence.

In the woods there aren’t the distractions of normal life. My phone only functions as a camera and not as a communications device. We aren’t buffeted by news alerts and politics. There isn’t a list of tasks to complete or a rush from one event to the next. There is only time in the present, enjoying the moment, being outside, and being physically active. Hiking is a beautiful way to live life simply.

I know I just wrote about it yesterday, but 2020 has really presented me with incredible gifts if I remember to pause and enjoy them. More time in nature, more time being active, and more time with Becky & the boys doing things like this. Moments like this today remind me to pause, appreciate, and enjoy each and every moment life gives me.

Thanks!!!

Throughout the past week I’ve caught myself having a similar conversation with several different people. The conversation starts with discussing some of the challenges of 2020 and then drifts.

It’s been a ridiculously challenging and difficult year for all of us – and it feels like an understatement putting it that way. From COVID to societal challenges to politics gone bonkers to a recession it has been a challenging year in so many ways. I think we can all agree that 2020 has been one of the most difficult we’ve lived through. If given the opportunity to have 2020 or any other year back to re-live I would be shocked to see if a large % of the population chose a 2020 Do Over.

What’s interesting is that even with this in mind the conversation drifts from the difficulty of it to the benefits of the year. Yes, it has been challenging, but there have been some significant positives as well if I remember to look for them. Once we start talking about the positives 2020 suddenly seems to be not nearly as horrible as it sounded at the onset of the conversation.

Some of the positives from this year include so many valuable life lessons. I’ve been more focused on gratitude than ever. I’m appreciating more of the little things in life. I’ve learned more through experiencing diversity than ever. I’m finding so many ways to use 2020 as an opportunity to teach the boys about resilience. I’ve spent more time deep in thought than in a long time. My focus on the present moment has increased. I’m exercising more than I have in a long time. There have been more moments spend focused on my faith. I’ve found so many opportunities to practice doing right even when it is difficult to do. This year has helped me focus on what is important to me in life. Long story short, when I really think about it, my soul is more at peace, calm, alive, and aware than it has been in a very long time.

How crazy is that? In the face of all of this craziness and chaos my soul is finding calm within the storm. In a weird sort of way it’s finding levels of peace and joy in direct opposition to the levels of chaos and craziness. How can this be possible?

It boils down to one simple thing, gratitude. When I choose gratitude I have to find a way to be thankful for everything, even the difficult stuff. It may sound crazy, but the more difficult it is the more thankful I am for it. I have to find a way to become better through the difficult stuff and to learn from the difficult stuff in order to be thankful for it. Once I’ve got my mind focused on finding what I am thankful for my soul switches gears from sadness, frustration, and anger to joy.

How fortunate am I to have lived through such an opportunity? How lucky am I that this difficult thing has happened as I can find a way to be better from this? Thank you Big Dude Upstairs for pushing me in a direction I didn’t want to go as it’s helping me grow in ways I never thought possible.

As I started with, the same conversation seems to have come up in one form or another so many times in the past week. It starts with talking about the challenges of 2020 and then drifts into the positives and upsides of the year. By the time it is over I find myself more joyful and optimistic than before the conversation. When I pause to think about why I am more joyful it all boils down to using gratitude to lift my spirits through any storm.

2020, dude, I really hope I don’t have to re-visit you anytime soon. That said, the opportunity you’ve presented to help me grow and strengthen my gratitude practice is greatly appreciated. Just as losing Dad was a source of great growth, 2020 has been so similar in a very different way. While I won’t be reaching out to invite myself back anytime soon I am grateful that we’ve met as you’ve improved my life through the challenges you’ve brought my way.

Thanks!!!

My blog tonight is inspired by a wonderful story my friend Kelsey shared from a wonderful book she gave me for my birthday. As luck would have it I had just heard this story for the first time a couple of months ago. The story hits home on many levels and has been in the back of my mind for the past few days.

Here’s a version I found online, enjoy!

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

https://medium.com/@soninilucas/two-monks-and-a-woman-zen-story-c15294c394c1

If it didn’t quite sink in all the way please know it’s okay to re-read it. It’s taken me several readings of it and much thought focused on it to get me to my current level of understanding of it. The funny thing is that while it is so simple I’m continuing to find more and more ways to apply this to my life.

It’s a story of living in the present. A story of forgiveness. A story of letting go. A story of doing right. A story not letting the past weigh us down. A story of action. A story of integrity. A story of the folly of assuming all rules make sense all the time. So many different layers to pull out of this one story, and I’m sure there are many more to go.

With all that is going on in the world I’m amazed at the ability of a simple and short story from so many years ago can help guide me in the right direction in life.

Thanks!!!