This quote struck a chord for me, so much so that I had to pause to let it sink in, and then re-read several times. How true this is for so much of life?
I’m forever getting ready for life instead of living it each day.
Peter Matthiessen, The Snow Leopard
While I’ve written tonight’s blog in reverse I also see how unbridled “planning” can become a hindrance to presence, but it also helps me visualize how to utilize a plan to help guide me and prepare me for whatever changes the universe throws at me. More guardrails and momentum than a plan maybe?
Appreciation:
I’m very thankful for starting to plan my goals for the next year early. Over the past week my mind has been toying with new ideas, twisting, inspecting, and testing to see what may make the biggest difference in my ability to improve in 2026. Some of the concepts that have been resonating include additional metrics like the number of minutes spent outdoors daily, the number of cravings I have each day versus the number of cravings I give in to, and setting a number of total miles to walk/hike in the year. For sure my mindset/theme of “Less, but More” for 2025 will sustain, but I’m not quite sure how… Maybe something as easy as “More of Less” would be fitting. We’ll see where I end up!
The inspiring part is that I’m already starting to sift through the data of my 2025, find patterns of what brought me the most joy, of where I found purpose, and my mind is already starting to process the path. Yes, it is still quite early to lock everything in, but that’s also the point. I have more time to process and choose wisely to create my best possible 2026 plan.
Presence:
The sunrise lighting up the tops of the bluffs was stunning this morning! The shifting colors were greatly enhanced by the dark clouds slowly wandering the sky, I was reminded of watching sunrises on the mountains in Patagonia. Such a wonderful time of the day, catching the first sun beams ripping through the clouds to light up the hillside. Throw in a shard of a rainbow and the glowing pinkish orange skies and it was a spectacular ride up north today!
Day 3,632 (Crazy to think that it will be a DECADE of daily blogging in only 22 days!)
There is so much to unpack from today, but it is all pretty simple in the overall concept… This was pretty much the perfect weekend day. So much happening, so many moments of presence, reminders of appreciation throughout, lots of personal connection, and so many nuggets of learning mixed in.
Maybe the best way to run this one out is to go with a list kind of day. Additionally, this format provides me an opportunity to walk back through the day in a little more full detail and enjoy it all a second time 😉
The morning started off with a mug full of some amazing coffee. Scratch that, it started off with the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee while I laid in bed as Becky had gotten up before me and worked her magic.
Breakfast was a couple of slices of cold pizza leftover from last night – glorious!
To kick off the morning Becky found a hysterical video which caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Short and sweet, but nice starting the day with a good belly laugh like that!
Becky and I packed up for hiking and a trip to Eau Claire to watch Dominic’s rugby scrimmage. As we got rolling she recommended we fire up a podcast she had recently listened to. The Ologies podcast has been one of her recent go to’s and this episode was focused specifically on the science of happiness. Here were some of the key takeaways and moments of a-ha’s!
The concept of “Time Affluence,” the sense of having enough time, is a critical component of happiness. This really hit home with how I feel amazing on days like today (very limited structure) and I feel almost claustrophobic on days when I am planning out my next few weeks.
Choosing to view ourselves Objectively rather than Relatively. Consider the studies of happiness levels of someone who won the silver medal versus the bronze medal. The bronze medalist is almost always smiling much bigger than the silver medalist who often looks sad and disappointed. Consider that we are really good at something or that we really enjoyed something, don’t compare it to what others do or what they have. Look internally for happiness.
Are we happy both “in our life” and “with our life”? Are we happy in the moment of what we are doing in life? Are we happy with where our life is going towards a purpose? Both are important and and not always related (and sometimes can almost be at odds with each other).
Awareness, awareness, awareness! Step outside of ourselves and observe how we are reacting to something, consider why we are reacting that way. Don’t observe with the intent of changing or correcting, rather, observe to understand more fully. We can’t fix what we are not aware of.
I’d 100% recommend this podcast to anyone looking to add a little extra joy to their lives (that should be all of us, right?). Check out the episode we listened to here: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/eudemonologyencore
The conversations Becky and I got into while listening to the podcast and after the podcast were engaging and insightful. So appreciative to be in love with a fellow lifelong learner!
Our hike in Perot was soooooo chill! The weather was perfect, the trails were quiet, so much to observe and take in all around us. Everything was so green it was awesome! The feel of hiking on a fall day is something I will never tire of. Hiking with Becky and joking, talking, and walking in silence, all exactly what I needed.
While on the hike I was reminded of an adventure Steve and I went on kayaking on the Black River a while back, it may have spurred on ideas to attempt it again.
Dominic’s rugby scrimmage was so much fun to watch! He was one of the starters and got quite a few opportunities to impact the game on both offense and defense. So much fun watching him do something he loves.
During the game I was able to make a quick sprint and caught a ball way out of bounds. I know, super cheesy, but it was so much fun to enjoy the fleeting moment of feeling like I was almost in the game, almost a kid again. Super minor, but such a blast regardless!
A handful of Dominic’s friends from high school came to the match to cheer him on. They hung out with Becky and I throughout the game and we shot the bull the entire time. so much fun seeing the kids we used to see often grow into the men they have become. I swear each age of our son’s and their friends has somehow continued to be better than the year before.
Our ride back was so chill, the dog was absolutely toast from all the hiking and excitement. We stopped by the apple orchard, grabbed some apples, ciders, and maybe a caramel apple pie or two. So nice being outside and having a little mini date with the two of us. Fresh apples off the tree… so deelish!
At the grocery store we saw a mom with two small kids which brought back fond memories for us as well as a little laugh as we saw reminders of the happiness podcast concepts in her expression.
Gavin was home from his volunteer work and was in an awesomely talkative mood. We shot the bull for a while and then the and I continued the conversation at Dick’s as we picked up a knee brace for him. We may have also had some bonus fun dreaming up a home gym and pricing it out while we were there. Great one on one time with him, nice to have such fun conversation with him.
I got a little bonus time to make a quick fix on the grill as it warmed up. Nothing crazy or difficult, but just enough to feel like I got to problem solve, work with my hands, and be productive. A nice little chill moment.
There were a couple of awesome brother moments that don’t need detail. Long story short, I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love my brother and how grateful I am for the relationship my sons have with each other.
Grilling brats, drinking a hard cider, joking with the family. Throw in eating out of my grandma’s old stainless steel bowls from the 1950’s and it was a wonderful dinner outside on the deck!
Game night was fun (even though Gavin destroyed Becky and I in both Catan and Skipbo), another evening spent around the kitchen table, one of my favorite places in the world. The addition of caramel apple pie with vanilla caramel ice cream was a banger!
As we wrapped up the night Gavin and I fired up a movie. Sitting on the couch and taking it in we were both making comments on what we appreciated about it. I also look forward to knowing we’ll bring it up in conversation on again off again for the better part of a week or two, reminding us of that time together. Nice and chill to wrap things up.
Typing this blog has only increased the size of my smile today! Crazy to see all that happened appear as words on my screen. Each memory has brought back a smile and jogged my memory on other things I was grateful for. This daily thought practice has been proven over and over again over the past ten years to help me sleep with a focus on good stuff in life so much more than the frustrating.
Whew!!! What a day!!! Seriously, so many moments of joy throughout the day. I grew. I appreciated. I was present. Throw all of those together with the connections with those I love and it was pretty epic. To all who played a part in my today, thank you!!!
This little gem from Epictetus really hit me between the eyes today. Throughout the day my mind kept pulling back to this concept, it filtered my seemingly every one of my thoughts differently.
“If you wish to improve be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters.”
Epictetus
What really matters? The little bit of news that doesn’t make a true difference? The highlights of last night’s sporting events? The reels on Instagram? That stat about something that you don’t always need?
Focus on what truly matters… our purpose, our values, our actions, and this present moment.
Appreciation:
This morning I took Leia out for a very early morning hike, hitting the trails before 4:45am. As the world slept we wandered the woods and the bluff top ridges. We watched a barge slowly slide up the river in the dark as the birds began to sing. Dropping in the valley we had the sensation of being watched so I fired up my flashlight and there was a group of five deer jurors looking down at us from the hilltop, judging our intentions and actions. Leia jumped in terror at the most horrifying sound it seemed she had ever heard… the gobble of a turkey from across a valley. So many birds were talking to us, singing us their morning songs. The sky slowly glowed brighter and brighter. The smell of pollen and woods and fresh soil saturated my nose as my breathing increased going up hills with my pack on. All around us was a paradox of both total stillness and complete action.
What an invigorating start to the day!
Presence:
On my drive to work I had an awesome experience. As I drove past the pullout to view Brady’s Bluff in Perot State Park I saw a car pulled over. The driver was standing with his hands on his hips, looking at the bluffs glowing in the bright morning sun, a complete look of awe on his face as he took in the wondrous site across the Mississippi River.
I couldn’t help but smile and feel joy at seeing his state of awe and wonder, taking in the same view which has left me the same way so many times before.
I don’t know his beliefs, his politics, his history, his career, his class, or anything about him – but I know he is my brother as all humankind are, and that only added to my sense of joy.
Throughout my day of hiking (see the next section) I was working on taking pictures using some of the new things I’ve been learning and thought I was making progress. As it turns out, I was making progress, though not as I had intended! So many of the photos I took were totally blur and not what I’d intended, a few of the settings were off and I thought I would skip the tripod and shoot by hand. So the learning continues! Nothing like the sting of mistake to fuel the learning for the next time.
Appreciation:
I took the day off today and headed out to one of my favorite local-ish hiking areas, Pikes Peak State Park in McGregor, IA. Out the door just after 5am I was able to get to the park and where I wanted to be before sunrise. In addition to taking pictures I relaxed, soaked in the beautiful sights (& sounds), and slowly sipped my coffee and enjoyed every moment.
After putting my coffee mug away I knocked out about a dozen miles in the park and walked all the trails I’ve wanted to cover in past visits. It was just the deer, eagles, and I in the woods, the only people I encountered on the trail were as I was within eye shot of my car. Such a wonderfully relaxing way to get my brain back in the right state of mind.
Everything in life can be worked out while walking in the woods. The fresh air, the trees, the wildlife, and all the wonderful views, including frozen waterfalls, bring a level of stillness that can help us see all of life so much more clearly. I am beyond grateful for making the time needed to get my brain in the right place.
Presence:
Standing in the woods, all alone, relaxing and enjoying the sights and sounds all around me. Of all of the moments there is one in particular that really jumps out. When I was watching the sunrise slowly paint the sky I was serenaded by the music of the ice on the Mississippi River slowly expanding and popping. It echoed through the valley and was a perfect soundtrack to the sunrise!
If we want to live out our dreams we have to first dream them and then plan for them. Dream them, write them down, plan for them, and then make them happen. Today was a reminder to pause and plan in order to make things happen.
Appreciation:
Another dream / bucket list item is in the hopper and ready to go this year! Last year Dominic and I hiked in Patagonia. Becky and I hiked across the Grand Canyon in October. Gavin and I just got our permits to hike the Rockwall Trail in Kootenay National Park in Canada this summer! Another hiking dream to be knocked off this year, soooo pumped!!!
While I was focused on setting up our backpacking permits this morning I switched gears completely on my drive to work and back. Another subset of big dreams I have involve the ocean. In order to keep stoking those flames I’ve gone back to a favorite book of mine, Deep by James Nestor. Getting lost in the stories and science of the ocean was a wonderful balance to all of the mountain focus of the morning!
There is only so much one person can do, but there is so much more many can do. Don’t carry the burden alone, share it with those willing and offering to help. Allow them the opportunity to help others, allow yourself the opportunity to accomplish more together than alone.
Appreciation:
Life is full of choices. Some very large, some seemingly insignificant. In each of those choices we choose who we are. Each choice shapes us and molds us. Each can be undone, but each can also slowly add mass to our being. Some choices we seemingly don’t even make, the inertia of life more easily pulls us towards certain decisions. Regardless, we have the opportunity to choose how we respond to each and every single opportunity to decide. May we choose wisely, with intention, and accept all the decisions lead us to. We always have a choice to make, including how we respond to the choices we make.
Presence:
My past couple of days of drives to and from Winona for work have been opportunities to pause and view the majesty of the Driftless. As I’ve passed by the small valleys I’m able to see the frozen waterfalls normally hidden by the leaves of trees now barren. With no foliage the secret twists and turns of small creeks share their secrets, allow a view into their natural beauty normally unseen.
These views make me appreciate this area all the more, increase my desire to hike throughout the woods, to lose myself in the wonder of the Driftless.
Man overcomes himself, affirms himself, and realizes himself in the struggle towards the summit, toward the absolute. In the extreme tension of the struggle, on the frontier of death, the universe disappears and drops away beneath us. Space, time, fear, suffering, no longer exist. Everything then becomes quite simple. As on the crest of a wave, or in the heart of a cyclone, we are strangely calm —not the calm of emptiness, but the heart of action itself. Then we know with absolute certainty that there is something indestructible in us, against which nothing shall prevail.
A flame so kindled can never be extinguished. When we have lost everything it is then we find ourselves most rich.
Maurice Herzog
Appreciation:
Iceland has become a part of my being. My travels to the land of fire and ice have fueled my imagination in unprecedented ways while also creating lifelong memories shared with friends and family. Being here a third time is rejuvenating, my soul is at ease and so comfortably at home. So grateful for the opportunity to be here again, I will appreciate every single moment of it!
Presence:
Within hours of arriving in Iceland we saw the eruption! The pics don’t do justice to just how incredible it was to see lava spurting from the Earth!
Technology can really help us build connections when used correctly. Today we were able to FaceTime with each of the boys, yesterday we did the same with all four of us at the same time, even though we’re in different states and continents currently! Gavin was able to share pictures and jokes via our favorite social media messenger app. Throughout the day Dominic, Gavin, and I shared music we each enjoyed. Gavin sent all of us pics of all the sights he has seen in Germany. Becky and I used technology the right way for us while hiking, we shut it off completely and enjoyed conversation without electronics. When used the right way (and turned off often), what a gift technology is!
Appreciation:
This afternoon I was removing some old boards form our deck. It was build by Dad and I about twenty years ago and one of my projects for next year is to build a new deck. As I started taking it apart this afternoon I couldn’t help but think back often to the time I spent with Dad building it in the first place. I initially felt a little sad about taking apart something we’d built together, but I quickly realized that what we built together many years ago was not what I was taking apart now. This was only the deck, old beaten up and weathered boards. What we’d built back then were poignant memories of working together, of enjoying each other’s company, and of spending time with each other. The boards may be removed, but the memories not be erased.
So many moments of learning to work together as we built that deck! We learned about how much wood we could actually load into his pickup. We then found out that there was a weird policy at the store we bought it from and one of us had to stay with half the load while the other delivered the first load, unloaded it at the house, and then drove back. I personally learned why it is not a good idea to pull out too rapidly with a truck bed full of decking materials. Dad learned how much he would have appreciated having a cell phone to figure out what was taking me so long to come back for the second load as I was re-loading the lumber into the truck from off the pavement in a somewhat busy road. As you can imagine, as we traded stories afterwards we laughed and laughed! What wonderful memories the entire project was!
The things we build with our hands will eventually age and turn into dust and ash. The time we spend with loved ones making memories will burn in our souls forever.
Presence:
I kind of feel like this is becoming a bit of a broken record, but getting outside and hiking the trails with Becky to start off the day is pretty epic! Nothing quite like the fresh air and exercise while enjoying the views from the bluffs. Certainly my happy place, the trails. A couple of specific moments really stuck out. Standing atop Miller’s Bluff and taking in the view of the city below and river, woods, and bluff surrounding. Catching a spectacular fall scent form the leaves, almost a spicy old cigar box kind of smell (you gotta trust me, it is a wonderful aroma!). Throw in focused time with Becky and I talking as we hike and I couldn’t ask for much more than that!
This afternoon I had an awesomely in depth conversation with my friend, Brian, on the topics of leadership and life. Initially he had reached out with a question, but I quickly found he was helping me find answers to questions and feelings I’ve had over the past year. What was especially insightful to me was his willingness to open up and share so much, he just shared where he was at. His openness was truly inspiring. As I reflect on the conversation I can’t help but realize he summed up my awe in a follow up text.
Life feels different when you bring others in!
Brian B
How often do I carry the burden myself rather than sharing it? When am I too nervous about how others may view me to share how I am really doing and thinking? Why do I sometimes struggle to ask for help when I am in need of it? One would think I would know better by age 47, heck, I even wrote about this very topic in my book about losing Dad!
Today I’m very grateful for the reminder to open up, to share my heart openly, and to bring others in. We all have so much in common and we can all help lighten each other’s loads. Thank you for a conversation I needed more than I imagined today Brian!
Appreciation:
Due to our vacation my sons held back on giving me a Father’s Day gift until this evening. There is no question it was well worth the wait! Not gonna lie, there may have been a little bit of awesome leaking out of my eyes as I took it in and read the quote they added.
It was a map of the world, complete with pins of all the places I’ve been – and color coded based on who was with on the trip. In the bottom left corner was one of my all time favorite quotes by Jim Valvano, one I used in my blog the Father’s Day less than a week after Dad passed away.
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Jim Valvano
Throw in some very heartfelt and handcrafted Father’s Day cards from the boys and I was definitely feeling the love. Between the boys and Becky it was quite the way to lead into the weekend!
In addition to the initial fun of the gift we all got an epic bonus present… time to dream as a family as we looked at all the spaces without pins and started dreaming up some additional crazy ideas and plans for the future. Just a hunch, but I’d bet on a trip to a little place called Mount Kilimanjaro at some point in the not too distant future 😉
Thank you Becky and the boys for making me extra loved for a belated Father’s Day, I’m beyond blessed to ahve you each in my life!!!
Presence:
There’s a moment, maybe better put as a series of moments, from our time in Sequoia National Park which has been with me often in the past week. As we walked the trail amongst the massive sequoias I wandered in awe of the enormity of the titans towering over me. My mind and soul struggled to comprehend all they had experienced in the two to three THOUSAND years of life on earth.
The lyrics which have resonated the most are these:
Somewhere down the road is a place that we can go where everyone And everything is divine And when we’re all awake, we can finally make and end of these Divisions in our minds
Far beyond those walls, gleaming black and white Further than our false schemes of wrong and right Is a field where we can walk Leaving all our names behind
I will meet you there, beyond the pines
Thrice, Beyond the Pines
The feeling of hiking in the giant sequoias felt like I was walking in heaven, in paradise. There was zero stress or need or frustration, only awe and peace and gratitude and joy and love. How much more joyful and full of love would our world be if we all took time to go “beyond the pines” once in a while? To pause, breathe in the fresh pine scented air, feel the cool breeze on our face, and look in awe at the wondrous gifts the world has been given?
This is the specific tree I would like to have some of my ashes scattered at when my time is complete, it is marked in my Garmin Earthmate GPS as “Perfect Seq-MK ash” It was the most perfect and beautiful sequoia I saw on our trip to Sequoia National Park, and it was just far enough off the busiest paths to have the eternal quiet I would liek to enjoy.
Take photos almost constantly. Don’t let the lens get in the way of the experience itself, rather, allow it to become an extension of oneself. This way we are both 100% present in the moment AND we have the embers of memory to rekindle the fires when we view the photos. One well timed picture can light up an entire inferno of wonderful memories. As I’ve been reviewing the photos from our vacation my heart has been warmed many times by the flames of memory.
Appreciation:
Many years ago in a hotel room in San Francisco on a work trip I came across a quote which has stuck with me. The Marriott brand hotel had a beautiful travel magazine sharing experiences they had available and amongst the incredible adventures was this nugget which has stuck with me ever since:
Travel lets us see ourselves in a new way. With our minds free to dream, goals become clearer, moments grow richer, and we return home fuller than when we left.
Marriott Bonvoy
Another travel adventure has been had by my family and I. The time away has allowed me to dream bigger, to start putting together some bigger goals. The moments I’ve share with my family are so much more vivid and rich. I’m definitely returning home much fuller than when I left.
Travel is an opportunity to create space in our lives to intentionally focus on awe and wonder. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to take this time traveling with my family.
So many moments strung together over a week and a half, each a gift to each other, a new inside joke, a shared experience, a moment of awe together, love shared amongst family. Nothing quite like travel to create the space for an increased level of awareness with family!
Thankful for Forty 