Create space for stillness, room for your mind and soul to open and relax, to not have something which must be done, but rather, to just exist, to be. Sit still, let your mind go, and allow yourself to just be present in the moment. In that quiet, in that stillness – past the initial discomfort of the silence – is joy, your soul, being.
Appreciation:
Being at home today was so rejuvenating! Doing our normal Sunday activities, spending time at home, eating at our table, doing odds and ends around home. Exactly what was needed to get back up to speed after the past week of seemingly nonstop travel.
As I wrap up the night and prepare for bed I am pausing to enjoy some quiet in the living room all alone. It is quiet, I’ve got some excellent music playing (M83 – Outro: https://youtu.be/C0d_74wweFg?si=8ulVjkneFfpHdMB3 ) and I’ve been taking time to allow my mind to be still. Time alone with my thoughts, time with no expectation of progress or result, time existing. So much of what I needed!
Presence:
Those little moments of sharing bits of knowledge learned from others being passed on to others. A nexus of past experiences lived in the present moment with the hope of living again in the future. As simple and mundane as those moments may seem at times they are the points of wonderful memory. today it was in helping to show Gavin how to change windshield wipers and replace the broken glass of a side mirror. In the past it was working with Dad on how to change the air filter. Nothing special in of the moment itself, but beautiful as I step back and savor the memories of the past, enjoy the moment as it happens, and hope that the memory will repeat itself in the future.
In an homage to The Obstacle is the Way I found way to turn a frustrating construction induced traffic jam into an engaging use of the “bonus” time… Nothing like reconnecting with my little brother when our work and life schedules have kept us apart for a while! Rather than wasting energy on stressing over the delay I was able to spend time laughing hard, shooting the bull, and taking a moment to find much needed levity on a heavy day.
Appreciation:
We always have a choice to make, how we will respond to whatever hand we’ve been dealt. These choices aren’t always easy, we often have to choose between the difficult or more difficult decision.
In either case, we must first start with a sense of reality and acceptance of what is happening. We must pause, observe it for what it is – simply an action / issue / challenge – and withhold judgement on whether it is good or bad. The issue is simply what it is, we choose the perspective to attach to it (or choose not to). Once we see it clearly, as it is without our filter applied to it, we can then determine the action to take, the choice to be made.
Throughout this year I’ve been focusing on seeing with clarity. As a natural optimist it is so easy to get an unrealistically positive impression of something. I must focus more on seeing with reality first, and then applying the positivity to the decision. Adding positivity to the challenge itself doesn’t help, it actually hurts. See the issues with clarity and without judgement first, make a decision, and then maintain positivity in the potential outcome while still preparing for failure.
Today I lived into that and it made all the difference.
Presence:
The Black River was sublimely calm this morning as Becky and I struck out on our early morning run. The pre-sunrise painted sky was reflected perfectly in the mirror glass of the water. We were able to look out and see exactly where five fish had jumped almost at once, their ripples all emanating from the launching points. So chill, so calm, so perfect a start to the day.
Interesting how sometimes stepping back can provide so much clarity. Our mental lint filters get a little clogged up and we need to step back, clean them out, and then start fresh. Often the insights of others can help us get there. Pause, reflect, ask advice, seek input, and then take action.
Appreciation:
This evening I’ve sat in front of my computer and stared at this blank section. I’ve typed the Growth and Presence portions already, this one has been empty with nothing but a flashing line waiting to release letters. I’m incredibly frustrated today, no need to dive into it any further than than, not with anything related to work or Becky and boys, with other aspects of life. My soul hurts, I’m angry, and I’m so frustrated that I know any response right now – save writing this blog – would not likely be the right one.
I need to reflect further, dive into the why behind the emotion, and remember that above all else we were created to love. That can be be wildly difficult for me to remember and I’m starting to see that it is likely at the core of my hurt – the dissonance of the emotions and the necessary response. Maybe it is because I don’t know how to allow myself to love those I despise, or maybe because I am so unwilling to do so because of my anger. When is the right time to stand up and take action? When is the right time to put my head down and be invisible? When should I calm my emotions and let logic rule? When should I free my emotions in a righteous rage? Are there even right answers to be found?
As I type this I want to circle back to what I am grateful for. I’m grateful for having found a journaling practice like this to help me work through the hurt. I’m grateful for this exercise which helps me remember to stay focused on the positive. I’m appreciative for the wisdom to know it is okay to not be okay all the time. I’m glad I’ve learned to not act out in emotion unless it is logically prudent to do so.
So long as I am alive I have the opportunity to learn and grow. Through the darkest times we learn and grow most. This really sucks right now, but I know I must be growing and learning – though I’d kind of like to have a pause soon. 😉
Presence:
Sometimes there are moments in which when I have learned to pause the audiobook and switch to music. Something within my soul needs to be soothed in those moments, and music or silence is typically the key. Today I listened to one of my favorite songs on repeat for part of the way to work and the entirety of the way home and it was exactly what I needed.
All great transformations in life start with a very simple step, the awareness of a gap between who we are and who we could be.
If we don’t have awareness we don’t realize how badly we could use the change. We are don’t know that there’s a gap, a place to grow into. This can be such a frustrating moment, unhappy and not seeing a better path forward. We can even begin to feel helpless, constantly fighting against the tide.
Once we have the moment of awareness we can move forward, but can also feel so daunting or impossible. The gap may be significantly larger than we’d thought, possibly on the border of impossible. In its own way, this can be almost more demoralizing than not having awareness as it seems profoundly difficult to grasp.
Once we have the moment of awareness, once we can see across the chasm of where we are versus where we are we should be, we need to put our heads down and focus only on the single footstep ahead. See that spot twelve inches in front of us, will our foot to lift, our leg to move forward, and the foot comes down. One small step, but the greatest step after awareness – the first step! Celebrate it!!! We’ve made our trip across the gap a little shorter AND now we know we have the strength to take a step.
Now take another step, then another. Slow but steady progress, gaining momentum. You’ve got this. After s dozen or so steps look up to make sure you’re still headed the right way, and then head back down and focus on the twelve inches in front of you. In seemingly no time you will make significant progress.
All that progress, all started with a moment of awareness, all started with one tiny and small step.
Over the past 3,424 days I’ve taken tiny steps daily, pausing to reflect on what I appreciate. Each day is one tiny step forward, motion towards closing the gap.
Today I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me to pause and appreciate the momentum I’ve built over the past nine plus years. As I reflect on the journey my mind is blown. This all started with the awareness that I was not happy, in so many ways I felt empty, like a fraud, unsatisfied, always in pursuit of more. I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. Awareness came first, the awareness of unhappiness and a gigantic gap on the other side of which was full of joy. I wanted to cross. It seemed impossible, but I took one step. And the another. And then more which led to today. The gap is still there, but I’ve made progress.
Awareness, action. One small step at a time leads to profound growth over years.
Appreciation:
Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to quit. When I get in those funks they can be difficult to get out of. What I’ve found interesting recently is that every time I have felt this way recently I find that the reason for the frustration is something well under my control, something I have the ability to change. I just have pause, breathe, zoom out, look at the situation from afar, have awareness, give myself grace to be frustrated, and then change it.
Today there were several moments in which I saw clearly I was in a perfect position to live into my purpose, to live towards the goal which brings me the most joy and fulfillment, which almost can’t help but pull me across the gap to where I should be.
To all those who brought me a smile, warmed my soul, reminded me of purpose, and helped in so many ways to get out of my own way while simultaneously helping to guide me back to the right path – thank you. Today was a beautiful day, a +2 day, thanks to you!
Presence:
This morning I had a tight deadline for a client. It would be just enough time, but not so much I could take my time. As luck would have it Dominic happened to send a text “Some great hype up songs for your day!” His timing was impeccable. I closed my door, put in my noise canceling AirPods, and proceeded to “massage” my ear drums with wave after wave of excellent music. My field of vision narrowed to only the project and I truly crushed it. With only fifteen minutes to spare I took out the AirPods, inhaled deeply and let it roll in my chest, and turn exhaled slowly as I punched the Send button.
An hour or two of being in a total state flow, consumed by the task at hand without distraction. Glorious!
Where do I choose to put my focus and energy? Life is full of situations, challenges, moments, and unexpected changes. Whatever they may be there is always a choice to make – what attitude will I choose? Once that mindset is chosen there is another choice to make – where do I put my focus and my energy?
In the moments when everything is going well it is so easy to make the right choices. When life becomes increasingly more complex it becomes more difficult to default to the right option.
As I navigate my current reality I’m also reminded to give myself grace throughout. While I can always work and strive to choose wisely there will likely always be times when I stumble. When I trip it is so easy to focus on that and then slowly spiral down. In those moments when I fall I must remember to give myself grace, take a step back to have better awareness of what happened, learn from it, and then move forward. That’s the appropriate choice after choosing poorly.
Appreciation:
Spending time talking with others about their adventures, their travels, and their dreams is always so enlightening! When hearing how others are maximizing their lives and living into their dreams I can’t help but have a heart full of joy and feel more motivated to grow into that myself. So much of our joy is truly to be found only within ourselves and independent of others, yet sharing time with those who live the way you wish to so quickly amplifies our joy as well. Tonight I’m grateful for the moments over the past few days in which I’ve been surrounded by those in noble pursuit of joy and living their dreams, they’ve warmed my heart for sure!
Presence:
On my drive home from work my mind was racing a million miles per hour and I was feeling very overwhelmed. As I happen to glance to my left I noticed the full moon rising over the Mississippi River Valley. It was stunningly vibrant, while simultaneously softened by the clouds. The silvery reflection off the snow, ice, and bluffs was simply breathtaking!
An old though came back in the midst of yoga class this evening. While working on a pose I have never quite been comfortable with our instructor offered up coaching and an opportunity to try the pose again. I hesitated for a moment, went into a learner’s mindset, and then took her advice. Next thing I knew I was into it! So many times before I was afraid of failing, not trusting my body, not thinking like a learner.
When we are in a learning mindset we’re open to coaching, we take advice, and we are willing to try even though there’s a high likelihood of failure. When we are in an expert mindset we are often afraid of making a mistake, less tempted to try something different as we already know what works. At any moment we can choose either mindset. Why don’t I choose a beginner’s mindset every single time like I should? Definitely a gap I can work on closing!
Yoga for the win yet again!
Appreciation:
This morning I had an absolutely engaging client meeting! The conversation was a nonstop thrill ride of ideas, insights, and thought exercises. So many strategies were discussed, excellent questions asked by all parties, and a perfect example of how similar cultures in different industries can help each other via the common ground of shared values. Super excited to see where this leads in the future!
Presence:
This afternoon my teammates and I shared a handful of moments as we walked through our values, purpose, and what drives our business. During a specific part of our conversation I shared the story of my last hug with Dad. The love and support they shared as I shared my full emotion warmed my heart and was greatly appreciated. It was a moment I’ll remember for sure!
While I’ve been tracking many things to start the year I am far from putting up a perfect score for a week, let alone a single day. What’s been most important to me is the pausing to be aware of my thoughts, my emotions, my actions, and my mindset. While there’s a very long way to go I’m seeing the little bits of progress like walking by the Butterfingers bars in the candy dish over half a dozen times rather than grabbing one or two every other trip by. That alone is not going to get me to the fitness standards I want to get to for my backpacking trips, but it certainly helps a little bit each time. Small changes that will all keep adding up over time with daily tracking to keep each action at the top of mind. Even when I fail I’m able to learn from the mistake and figure out a different plan for next time.
Appreciation:
I often mentioned the benefits of writing a blog post each day. The unintentional tracking of life, events, adventures, trials, triumphs, and everything in between has become a wonderful tool for reflection and growth. Sometimes I pull up a random post and read the posts that follow, so many memories are quickly rekindled. This has become a gift to myself, the bread crumbs my mind will need to bring back memories when I want to savor them.
Additionally, there’s another interesting benefit when I couple them with an AI tool, ChatGPT. I had ChatGPT review my blog posts, scour them for their content, and then asked a simply task: Review each calendar year of posts and write a tagline / theme for each year based on what I blogged about. The results were uncanny and certainly thought provoking! Not perfect, but interesting to see what a completely unbiased outside observer thought of my posts 🙂
2015:“Embarking on a Journey: The First Steps into Daily Gratitude.”
2016:“Building Foundations: Establishing a Habit, Discovering Joy.”
2017:“Trials and Triumphs: Choosing Gratitude Amidst Life’s Tests.” – This was the year I lost Dad
2018:“Deepening the Practice: Unveiling Layers of Thankfulness.”
2019:“Embracing the Everyday: Finding Beauty in the Mundane.”
2020:“Resilience in Reflection: Gratitude During Global Uncertainty.”
2021:“Renewal and Growth: Gratitude Fuels Personal Evolution.”
2022:“Strengthening Connections: Thankfulness in Relationships.”
2023:“Mindful Moments: Savoring the Present Through Gratitude.”
2024:“Less is More: Appreciating Simplicity and Presence.”
2025:“A Decade of Thanks: Reflecting on Ten Years of Gratitude.”
Presence:
One of the books I’m currently reading, The Humans by Matt Haig has totally wrapped me up in itself. Time seems to fly by as I get completely lost in the story. I find myself laughing out loud at the humor, having my emotions deeply moved by certain themes, and have to stop for a moment to soak in the concepts just shared. So much fun getting completely enthralled in great stories!
Over the past couple of years I’ve worked towards splitting my blog into three parts – Growth, Appreciation, and Presence – an homage of sorts to one of my first mentors who goes out of her way to find one thing that is beautiful each day. When I first learned of her practice it helped me see that I would benefit from finding one way I grew one thing I appreciated, and one moment of true presence each day. This practice has increased my awareness of those three categories more than expected and has led to growth through introspection.
That said, when I started blogging daily almost ten years ago I focused on one specific thing I was thankful for each day and I went deeper into that singular topic. Occasionally I had “list days” in which I had to go through an entire list of what I was grateful for as there seemed to be blessing after blessing after blessing. For sure, they weren’t all initially seen as “blessings,” some were very challenging moments in which I was able to grow, but they were moments that shaped and molded me, hence I was grateful for them even though they hurt. As another of my mentors once said, “‘Joy’ isn’t the same as happiness, and it is often the opposite of comfort.”
Lately I’ve been a fan of breaking the blog into smaller bite sized pieces as it provides the opportunity to not go too deep into too many categories, especially the ones I need to write about but don’t want to go deep into because they hurt. What’s interesting is that it is in exactly those moments in which I need to go a little deeper and work through my thoughts and emotions. In processing all of life, the blessings and the frustrations and the sufferings, gratitude helps transform all the experiences into growth. It is in that vein that I am opting to go “old school” tonight and dive a little deeper.
Whew – and that was all just the intro! 😉
Today has been a difficult day, one filled with emotion, one in which I can’t help but pause, take a step back, and feel incredibly discouraged. Due to compounding of mistakes and missteps there are challenges I need to face in business and they have a large impact. By the end of the work day I was feeling drained and questioning my ability to live into the purpose I feel called to live into, to brighten lives through shared experiences. In short, I was feeling like a failure. There were bright spots throughout the day to be sure, but the biggest challenge just kept pulling me down and it seemed to be the only place I could focus my attention. I felt defeated.
As I tried to put it behind me for the night and spend time focused on my family and being home I kept drifting back to that challenge. I could feel the weight of it on my shoulders and my soul.
Out of the blue I received a phone call from someone I had not spoken with in over four years. They were reaching out to ask me to be a reference for them as they considered a path towards a dream they want to live into. As we spoke they shared the positive impact I’d had on their life at a pivotal time. The thoughts and appreciation I shared for them helped them out with providing the right message at the right time and they are still grateful for that interaction. My eyes were watering up as they shared the positive impact I’d had. In a sentence, they shared that I had lived into my purpose – to brighten lives through shared experiences.
What a dichotomy! In one case I was feeling as if I was failing at my purpose, yet in the other I’d lived into it without intention. Two distinct moments of the day, both overshadowing all the rest, both focused on purpose, and yet both going in polar opposite directions.
As I spend time reflecting on today and both of those interactions I can’t help but remember a handful of nuggets of wisdom others have taught:
The question we should be asking ourselves isn’t “What should I do?” rather, it should be “How can I be useful?” In that question we find the direction we should really pursue.
Each day we should ask ourselves, “How have we impacted the lives of others?” This question will also help us see the positive, but it can also cut deeply and help us learn from our mistakes. Asking myself this question has led to tremendous insight into whether or not I’m living into the best version of me.
Never underestimate the power of small gestures. This was advice I’ve learned from many others, but Jim Collins summarized so concisely. Don’t hesitate to reach out and share what a positive impact someone has made on you – you never know when that is exactly what they needed at the right time. The conversation this evening was an exquisite balance of sharing my gratitude four years ago when the other person needed it and their sharing of their gratitude exactly when I needed it. The Universe dances so beautifully and moves us all exactly where we need to be if we allow it to. Never hesitate to share our gratitude or kind words, those small gestures may have an enormous positive impact on the other person and cause a ripple of positivity which will grow and grow.
Control what you can control. This was what started the conversation with my friend and I a handful of years ago and I chuckled as I re-read what I wrote for them back then. Little did I know how much the world would change and how much difficulty and challenge that phrase would get me through. Even tonight I can’t help but be reminded of how much this is a guiding light in my life – when I remember to seek the advice out for myself.
As I finally wrap this all up I can’t help but smile. My challenge still lies in front of me, but I feel more bolstered to figure it out while also remembering that there are ways to live into my purpose while doing so. I’m reminded of, and grateful for, the small gestures which help us see the world more clearly when we’ve let it get hazy. The clarity provided this evening was truly stunning and moving. If it were my story to share I would get into more detail, but that is for them. At least I can share that their motivation, selflessness, gratitude, passion, and integrity are inspiring to me, in many ways they have had a very positive impact on me.
To my friend – thank you for the incredibly positive impact you’ve had on me today. The writing of my blog was cathartic, and inspired by you. Thank you for reminding me that one misstep doesn’t define us, we have the opportunity to live into our purpose daily, and inspiring me to live into my dreams – especially when it isn’t easy.
Yesterday we helped Dominic plant trees as a part of his ongoing Eagle Scout project. There were many Scouts, parents, and siblings there to help and Dominic’s job quickly changed from planting trees to directing the volunteers. Then the media showed up and he was pulled in another direction, public relations. Throughout there were a couple of times when it was easy to see that he was frustrated with not being able to help to physically plant the trees. Several times I heard parents remind him that it is a part of leadership, changing from “doing” to “directing.” He smiled and understood, but there was still a dissonance between what he felt he should be doing and what he needed to be doing.
What an awesome leadership lesson for him to learn! We can’t do everything ourselves, we do our best work when we work with others. The role of a leader is to help show others the way and support them as they do their work. It is such a difficult change to get used to, but a necessary part of growth as a leader. I’m so thankful for the opportunity he had to learn this yesterday… and for the wonderful reminder it was for me also.
Appreciation:
Sometimes scarcity is a gift. The clarity of a tight deadline (or a couple) can really sharpen the mind to a razor edge. This week is a wild one to be sure! Thankfully I’ve planned ahead, gotten a lot loaded up, have prepped for potential curveballs, and have great people around me. Today was a study in productivity, focusing on only necessary tasks and going fast and furious. Tomorrow will be more of the same and I’ll finally take a deep breath on Thursday.
Here’s to the sensation of a deadline breathing down the back of my neck to help me kick into a higher gear to focus!
Presence:
At yoga this evening Jenn threw us a little curveball. After a very intense, hot, strenuous, and sweat soaked workout she had us pause flat on our backs for a moment.
“Take it in, the sensation of being flat on your back, your entire body relaxing into the mat. Take it in, enjoy it, be present in this moment.”
While the workout itself was kicking my butt and had my attention, I was very much focused on holding the pose or transitioning to the next while quickly swiping the sweat out of my eyes. This pause right in the middle, totally relaxed, was an entirely different type of presence. I was immersed in the sensations of laying relaxed on my back, allowing my breathing to slow back to normal, feeling my heart slip back to its normal resting rate. It was an amazing moment!
Very interesting idea during a “spontaneous group therapy” from a business call this morning. While the conversation went in a few different random directions there was a central thought I kept coming back to. I wrote it up on my whiteboard to help it sink a bit more deeply.
What are the trade offs I am willing to accept? Am I intentionally choosing them or am I just allowing them to happen? What are the trade offs I have unintentionally accepted?
Me
Rather than allowing something to happen through “gravity” or “drifting” I should only intentionally make trade offs. Intentionality helps me choose the right obstacles to face and which to avoid in order to live into my purpose and dreams. By not choosing I am allowing pull of gravity or the drifting of life to dictate where I go – which may or may not lead towards where I want to end up.
Zoom out, choose the right trade offs, be okay with them, and keep the focus on what is most important.
Appreciation:
This morning on my drive to work I did something I don’t usually do and it made all the difference in the productivity of my day. I started the drive with my audiobook but then quickly turned it off and enjoyed the ride in silence. My brain needed space to think. It was almost as if the sound bath from last night broke some ideas loose and they needed to full flush themselves out of my brain before I could fully focus. While it set me backwards in my book it really moved my day forward in all the right ways. I had a much more concise plan of attack for the day. I had more time to put together right solutions. Most importantly, I gave my brain time to breathe and relax. It was exactly what I needed to get mentally prepped for the day.
Presence:
What a difference a year makes in the level of stress in watching the boy’s sporting events!
Last year for Regionals (and Sectionals and State) I was so amped up, worked up, and all nervous I could hardly sit still. Knowing that each race was potentially Dominic’s last high school sporting event ever had me all twisted and torqued up! In the previous years there was always a little nervousness, but it wasn’t anything like Dominic’s senior season last year.
Fast forward to this year’s Regionals and watching Gavin compete in pole vaulting and the 4×800 while also being an alternate on the 4×400. I was relaxed and laid back, I thoroughly enjoyed each second of each event and all without the feeling like I could throw up at any minute. Of course I want him and his teammates to compete well and give their all, but there’s not the same sense of finality as there was last year. It was extra peaceful for sure!
Here’s to remembering that it is all a game, all for fun, and all a way to measure the hard work put in throughout preseason and season. Watching with less stress was so much more chill!
Thankful for Forty 