While I’ve been tracking many things to start the year I am far from putting up a perfect score for a week, let alone a single day. What’s been most important to me is the pausing to be aware of my thoughts, my emotions, my actions, and my mindset. While there’s a very long way to go I’m seeing the little bits of progress like walking by the Butterfingers bars in the candy dish over half a dozen times rather than grabbing one or two every other trip by. That alone is not going to get me to the fitness standards I want to get to for my backpacking trips, but it certainly helps a little bit each time. Small changes that will all keep adding up over time with daily tracking to keep each action at the top of mind. Even when I fail I’m able to learn from the mistake and figure out a different plan for next time.
Appreciation:
I often mentioned the benefits of writing a blog post each day. The unintentional tracking of life, events, adventures, trials, triumphs, and everything in between has become a wonderful tool for reflection and growth. Sometimes I pull up a random post and read the posts that follow, so many memories are quickly rekindled. This has become a gift to myself, the bread crumbs my mind will need to bring back memories when I want to savor them.
Additionally, there’s another interesting benefit when I couple them with an AI tool, ChatGPT. I had ChatGPT review my blog posts, scour them for their content, and then asked a simply task: Review each calendar year of posts and write a tagline / theme for each year based on what I blogged about. The results were uncanny and certainly thought provoking! Not perfect, but interesting to see what a completely unbiased outside observer thought of my posts 🙂
2015:“Embarking on a Journey: The First Steps into Daily Gratitude.”
2016:“Building Foundations: Establishing a Habit, Discovering Joy.”
2017:“Trials and Triumphs: Choosing Gratitude Amidst Life’s Tests.” – This was the year I lost Dad
2018:“Deepening the Practice: Unveiling Layers of Thankfulness.”
2019:“Embracing the Everyday: Finding Beauty in the Mundane.”
2020:“Resilience in Reflection: Gratitude During Global Uncertainty.”
2021:“Renewal and Growth: Gratitude Fuels Personal Evolution.”
2022:“Strengthening Connections: Thankfulness in Relationships.”
2023:“Mindful Moments: Savoring the Present Through Gratitude.”
2024:“Less is More: Appreciating Simplicity and Presence.”
2025:“A Decade of Thanks: Reflecting on Ten Years of Gratitude.”
Presence:
One of the books I’m currently reading, The Humans by Matt Haig has totally wrapped me up in itself. Time seems to fly by as I get completely lost in the story. I find myself laughing out loud at the humor, having my emotions deeply moved by certain themes, and have to stop for a moment to soak in the concepts just shared. So much fun getting completely enthralled in great stories!
Over the past couple of years I’ve worked towards splitting my blog into three parts – Growth, Appreciation, and Presence – an homage of sorts to one of my first mentors who goes out of her way to find one thing that is beautiful each day. When I first learned of her practice it helped me see that I would benefit from finding one way I grew one thing I appreciated, and one moment of true presence each day. This practice has increased my awareness of those three categories more than expected and has led to growth through introspection.
That said, when I started blogging daily almost ten years ago I focused on one specific thing I was thankful for each day and I went deeper into that singular topic. Occasionally I had “list days” in which I had to go through an entire list of what I was grateful for as there seemed to be blessing after blessing after blessing. For sure, they weren’t all initially seen as “blessings,” some were very challenging moments in which I was able to grow, but they were moments that shaped and molded me, hence I was grateful for them even though they hurt. As another of my mentors once said, “‘Joy’ isn’t the same as happiness, and it is often the opposite of comfort.”
Lately I’ve been a fan of breaking the blog into smaller bite sized pieces as it provides the opportunity to not go too deep into too many categories, especially the ones I need to write about but don’t want to go deep into because they hurt. What’s interesting is that it is in exactly those moments in which I need to go a little deeper and work through my thoughts and emotions. In processing all of life, the blessings and the frustrations and the sufferings, gratitude helps transform all the experiences into growth. It is in that vein that I am opting to go “old school” tonight and dive a little deeper.
Whew – and that was all just the intro! 😉
Today has been a difficult day, one filled with emotion, one in which I can’t help but pause, take a step back, and feel incredibly discouraged. Due to compounding of mistakes and missteps there are challenges I need to face in business and they have a large impact. By the end of the work day I was feeling drained and questioning my ability to live into the purpose I feel called to live into, to brighten lives through shared experiences. In short, I was feeling like a failure. There were bright spots throughout the day to be sure, but the biggest challenge just kept pulling me down and it seemed to be the only place I could focus my attention. I felt defeated.
As I tried to put it behind me for the night and spend time focused on my family and being home I kept drifting back to that challenge. I could feel the weight of it on my shoulders and my soul.
Out of the blue I received a phone call from someone I had not spoken with in over four years. They were reaching out to ask me to be a reference for them as they considered a path towards a dream they want to live into. As we spoke they shared the positive impact I’d had on their life at a pivotal time. The thoughts and appreciation I shared for them helped them out with providing the right message at the right time and they are still grateful for that interaction. My eyes were watering up as they shared the positive impact I’d had. In a sentence, they shared that I had lived into my purpose – to brighten lives through shared experiences.
What a dichotomy! In one case I was feeling as if I was failing at my purpose, yet in the other I’d lived into it without intention. Two distinct moments of the day, both overshadowing all the rest, both focused on purpose, and yet both going in polar opposite directions.
As I spend time reflecting on today and both of those interactions I can’t help but remember a handful of nuggets of wisdom others have taught:
The question we should be asking ourselves isn’t “What should I do?” rather, it should be “How can I be useful?” In that question we find the direction we should really pursue.
Each day we should ask ourselves, “How have we impacted the lives of others?” This question will also help us see the positive, but it can also cut deeply and help us learn from our mistakes. Asking myself this question has led to tremendous insight into whether or not I’m living into the best version of me.
Never underestimate the power of small gestures. This was advice I’ve learned from many others, but Jim Collins summarized so concisely. Don’t hesitate to reach out and share what a positive impact someone has made on you – you never know when that is exactly what they needed at the right time. The conversation this evening was an exquisite balance of sharing my gratitude four years ago when the other person needed it and their sharing of their gratitude exactly when I needed it. The Universe dances so beautifully and moves us all exactly where we need to be if we allow it to. Never hesitate to share our gratitude or kind words, those small gestures may have an enormous positive impact on the other person and cause a ripple of positivity which will grow and grow.
Control what you can control. This was what started the conversation with my friend and I a handful of years ago and I chuckled as I re-read what I wrote for them back then. Little did I know how much the world would change and how much difficulty and challenge that phrase would get me through. Even tonight I can’t help but be reminded of how much this is a guiding light in my life – when I remember to seek the advice out for myself.
As I finally wrap this all up I can’t help but smile. My challenge still lies in front of me, but I feel more bolstered to figure it out while also remembering that there are ways to live into my purpose while doing so. I’m reminded of, and grateful for, the small gestures which help us see the world more clearly when we’ve let it get hazy. The clarity provided this evening was truly stunning and moving. If it were my story to share I would get into more detail, but that is for them. At least I can share that their motivation, selflessness, gratitude, passion, and integrity are inspiring to me, in many ways they have had a very positive impact on me.
To my friend – thank you for the incredibly positive impact you’ve had on me today. The writing of my blog was cathartic, and inspired by you. Thank you for reminding me that one misstep doesn’t define us, we have the opportunity to live into our purpose daily, and inspiring me to live into my dreams – especially when it isn’t easy.
Yesterday we helped Dominic plant trees as a part of his ongoing Eagle Scout project. There were many Scouts, parents, and siblings there to help and Dominic’s job quickly changed from planting trees to directing the volunteers. Then the media showed up and he was pulled in another direction, public relations. Throughout there were a couple of times when it was easy to see that he was frustrated with not being able to help to physically plant the trees. Several times I heard parents remind him that it is a part of leadership, changing from “doing” to “directing.” He smiled and understood, but there was still a dissonance between what he felt he should be doing and what he needed to be doing.
What an awesome leadership lesson for him to learn! We can’t do everything ourselves, we do our best work when we work with others. The role of a leader is to help show others the way and support them as they do their work. It is such a difficult change to get used to, but a necessary part of growth as a leader. I’m so thankful for the opportunity he had to learn this yesterday… and for the wonderful reminder it was for me also.
Appreciation:
Sometimes scarcity is a gift. The clarity of a tight deadline (or a couple) can really sharpen the mind to a razor edge. This week is a wild one to be sure! Thankfully I’ve planned ahead, gotten a lot loaded up, have prepped for potential curveballs, and have great people around me. Today was a study in productivity, focusing on only necessary tasks and going fast and furious. Tomorrow will be more of the same and I’ll finally take a deep breath on Thursday.
Here’s to the sensation of a deadline breathing down the back of my neck to help me kick into a higher gear to focus!
Presence:
At yoga this evening Jenn threw us a little curveball. After a very intense, hot, strenuous, and sweat soaked workout she had us pause flat on our backs for a moment.
“Take it in, the sensation of being flat on your back, your entire body relaxing into the mat. Take it in, enjoy it, be present in this moment.”
While the workout itself was kicking my butt and had my attention, I was very much focused on holding the pose or transitioning to the next while quickly swiping the sweat out of my eyes. This pause right in the middle, totally relaxed, was an entirely different type of presence. I was immersed in the sensations of laying relaxed on my back, allowing my breathing to slow back to normal, feeling my heart slip back to its normal resting rate. It was an amazing moment!
Very interesting idea during a “spontaneous group therapy” from a business call this morning. While the conversation went in a few different random directions there was a central thought I kept coming back to. I wrote it up on my whiteboard to help it sink a bit more deeply.
What are the trade offs I am willing to accept? Am I intentionally choosing them or am I just allowing them to happen? What are the trade offs I have unintentionally accepted?
Me
Rather than allowing something to happen through “gravity” or “drifting” I should only intentionally make trade offs. Intentionality helps me choose the right obstacles to face and which to avoid in order to live into my purpose and dreams. By not choosing I am allowing pull of gravity or the drifting of life to dictate where I go – which may or may not lead towards where I want to end up.
Zoom out, choose the right trade offs, be okay with them, and keep the focus on what is most important.
Appreciation:
This morning on my drive to work I did something I don’t usually do and it made all the difference in the productivity of my day. I started the drive with my audiobook but then quickly turned it off and enjoyed the ride in silence. My brain needed space to think. It was almost as if the sound bath from last night broke some ideas loose and they needed to full flush themselves out of my brain before I could fully focus. While it set me backwards in my book it really moved my day forward in all the right ways. I had a much more concise plan of attack for the day. I had more time to put together right solutions. Most importantly, I gave my brain time to breathe and relax. It was exactly what I needed to get mentally prepped for the day.
Presence:
What a difference a year makes in the level of stress in watching the boy’s sporting events!
Last year for Regionals (and Sectionals and State) I was so amped up, worked up, and all nervous I could hardly sit still. Knowing that each race was potentially Dominic’s last high school sporting event ever had me all twisted and torqued up! In the previous years there was always a little nervousness, but it wasn’t anything like Dominic’s senior season last year.
Fast forward to this year’s Regionals and watching Gavin compete in pole vaulting and the 4×800 while also being an alternate on the 4×400. I was relaxed and laid back, I thoroughly enjoyed each second of each event and all without the feeling like I could throw up at any minute. Of course I want him and his teammates to compete well and give their all, but there’s not the same sense of finality as there was last year. It was extra peaceful for sure!
Here’s to remembering that it is all a game, all for fun, and all a way to measure the hard work put in throughout preseason and season. Watching with less stress was so much more chill!
You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Completely out of the blue today I was informed of the very unexpected death of a past client, teammate, and friend. At 54 years old he was seemingly one of the most healthy individuals I know, incredibly big hearted, quick to smile and radiate positivity, and so full of life he seemed to be pulled right out of a movie. He was so incredibly vibrant in every way. Three days ago he passed away. Just like that, a light extinguished.
As my brain still grapples with the reality of his passing I keep thinking about many of the decisions I’ve made recently to live better. While my goal is to be hiking in the woods deep into my 90’s I am reminded that tomorrow is promised no one. Work towards the long term goal and dream, but enjoy the ride along the way and be thankful for each breath I am blessed to take.
While my heart weeps for my friend and his family I will sleep with a heart full of gratitude for the day I’ve been blessed to live today. 
Appreciation:
Today has been a deeply emotional day in a variety of ways. Starting the day with an excellent bike ride while watching a video of fastpacking the O Circuit in Torres del Paine in Chile. Thinking ahead to all the adventures and goals I’ve set for myself in 2024. Finding out someone passed away too young. Struggling with work stress and challenges. Taking five minutes of stillness to reset my mind and soul (more on that in a bit). Hitting an epic workout that pushed me well outside of my comfort zone but balanced out my mindset.
Highs and lows. Peaks and valleys. What’s interesting to me today is that I’m still feeling positive and optimistic today. It would be easy to let the valleys sink my heart and cause me to be more negative. It would be just as easy to gloss over the tough stuff and focus only on the positive. In either case I would not be experiencing life to its fullest. Life throws us wonderful stuff. Life throws us difficult stuff. By experiencing both we are better able to appreciate all of life.
Today has been an incredibly full day in many ways and I am grateful to have experienced it. I would love to change parts, but I can’t. What I can do is find ways to grow through each portion – delightful and stressful – and use that growth to close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. 
My responses and actions have not been perfect, but I am okay with that. I’ve lived into a better me today than I would have if I were given the same day a year or two ago. I’m grateful for making progress.
Presence:
This afternoon my brain was awash in next steps, projects, tasks, and life. I felt like I was circling a whirlpool and slowly sinking. For whatever reason I set everything down and sat at the table in my office facing my bookshelf. My eyes immediately saw the five minute hourglass on my shelf and I knew what t do next.
I shut off my phone. I closed my laptop. I closed my door. I took my shoes off. I grabbed the hourglass and set it in front of me. I took a deep breath, flipped it, and gave myself the permission AND direction to do nothing but let my mind wander as I stared at the grains slowly draining from top to bottom.
Five minutes of completely undistracted and focused time letting my mind have the space it desperately needs to be. Five minutes of quiet. Five minutes of thought. Five minutes of stillness. Five minutes of healing. Five minutes of clarity. Five minutes of de-cluttering. Five minutes of challenging myself. Five minutes of self-condemnation. Fie minutes of acceptance. Five minutes of purpose. Those five minutes were amongst the most full moments of my entire day.
In the stillness I found peace. Direction. My why. Next steps.
Honestly, it felt like an eternity before the last grain dropped. While incredibly uncomfortable, it felt profoundly soothing. I walked away with clarity, purpose, and direction. The stress and clutter was gone, only life lay ahead of me.
I think people get old when they stop thinking about the future. If you want to find someone’s true age, listen to them. If they talk about the past and they talk about all the things that happened that they did, they’ve gotten old. If they think about their dreams, their aspirations, what they’re still looking forward to – they’re young.”
Ric Elias quoted by Peter Attia in Outlive
Truth.
Appreciation:
Stress is going to happen in our lives. Something outside of our control happens, causes an unexpected issue, and we have to figure out how to adapt to it or how to correct it. What we can control is the way we respond, the way we choose our attitudes in those moments. What really stuck out to me today is how inspiring it is to spend time with people who smile and choose joy even in moments of stress. Their positive energy is contagious and help create more smiles for all around them. It is like an upward spiral of joy in the face of stress as one person’s positive response to a challenge inspires another to smile through their stress which in they inspire someone else to choose the same path. So awesome seeing the escalation of positivity like that!!! Seeing teammates in action like this today remind me how important it is to choose the right attitude – to help ourselves AND to help others.
Presence:
When I got out of bed this morning my legs were sore! It took a hot minute to get up the courage to step out of bed and see what I had underneath me… but then everything went very well. My legs loosened up rather quickly! Once I was on my bike and got moving it seemed as if everything was back to normal. My cadence was solid and held right at 90-95 while my resistance stayed put with where it normally is. All in all, it felt pretty good.
The moment of presence I am grateful for was the hyper awareness of the sensations in my leg muscles and elsewhere throughout my body today. In an action as simple as turning my torso I can feel the muscles that were worked yesterday and I paid extra attention to how they were feeling. It is not often that I put that much focus into the sensations within my body, it was pretty enlightening today!
Thankful for Forty 