Listen to and write down the random yoga thoughts that appear in the midst of the calm after the storm. So many wonderful nuggets of wisdom when the brain is completely open and present like that.
See the next section for my yoga thoughts from this evening… I’m grateful for taking the time to jot them down rather than let them slowly flutter and drift away.
Appreciation:
This evening what kept going through my brain in Final Rest was – be grateful for the test. The opportunity to be tested is an opportunity to grow, to find our strengths, and to make the most difficult of decisions… will we learn from the experiences which put us into the test in the first place and make a change or will we default to what we have always done, the same thing which has gotten us in this position in the first place. The test is an opportunity to prove our growth, to learn and adapt, and to better close the gap between who we are and who we should be.
Being tested is a gift, something we can be grateful for.
Presence:
One of the most presence filled moments today was also in yoga (hmm… kind of a Monday night trend). During our class we were moved into a deep squat with our feet out wide and toes pointed out. We were challenged to get as low as we could while holding our arms out in front of us. As we held that position for what felt like an eternity I dove deeper and deeper into my breath. I felt the ongoing trembles of my legs. As each breath came and went I focused more and more on the burn in my legs, my toes gripping my mat, the sweat running down my face, and my breath, my breath, and my breath. Honestly, I have no idea how long we held that for, but it felt like forever. When we then stood up the release was glorious – until we were told to drop right back down into the deep squat for another couple of breaths. Nonstop presence, felt amazing!
Yesterday we helped Dominic plant trees as a part of his ongoing Eagle Scout project. There were many Scouts, parents, and siblings there to help and Dominic’s job quickly changed from planting trees to directing the volunteers. Then the media showed up and he was pulled in another direction, public relations. Throughout there were a couple of times when it was easy to see that he was frustrated with not being able to help to physically plant the trees. Several times I heard parents remind him that it is a part of leadership, changing from “doing” to “directing.” He smiled and understood, but there was still a dissonance between what he felt he should be doing and what he needed to be doing.
What an awesome leadership lesson for him to learn! We can’t do everything ourselves, we do our best work when we work with others. The role of a leader is to help show others the way and support them as they do their work. It is such a difficult change to get used to, but a necessary part of growth as a leader. I’m so thankful for the opportunity he had to learn this yesterday… and for the wonderful reminder it was for me also.
Appreciation:
Sometimes scarcity is a gift. The clarity of a tight deadline (or a couple) can really sharpen the mind to a razor edge. This week is a wild one to be sure! Thankfully I’ve planned ahead, gotten a lot loaded up, have prepped for potential curveballs, and have great people around me. Today was a study in productivity, focusing on only necessary tasks and going fast and furious. Tomorrow will be more of the same and I’ll finally take a deep breath on Thursday.
Here’s to the sensation of a deadline breathing down the back of my neck to help me kick into a higher gear to focus!
Presence:
At yoga this evening Jenn threw us a little curveball. After a very intense, hot, strenuous, and sweat soaked workout she had us pause flat on our backs for a moment.
“Take it in, the sensation of being flat on your back, your entire body relaxing into the mat. Take it in, enjoy it, be present in this moment.”
While the workout itself was kicking my butt and had my attention, I was very much focused on holding the pose or transitioning to the next while quickly swiping the sweat out of my eyes. This pause right in the middle, totally relaxed, was an entirely different type of presence. I was immersed in the sensations of laying relaxed on my back, allowing my breathing to slow back to normal, feeling my heart slip back to its normal resting rate. It was an amazing moment!
Sometimes some incredible ideas and thoughts can be generated by reading fiction. Throughout this year I’ve been taking more time to jot down some of the insights and quotes I’ve picked up from each book I read, fiction included. The fiction series Gavin turned me onto, Red Rising, hit me with a couple of great ones within the span of a page this weekend. Here is one of the nuggets I took note of:
“We all have our own tides inside. They go in, out. Not really ours to control. The things, people that orbit us do that. At least more than we’d like to admit.”
Pierce Brown, Golden Son
The quote really hit me between the eyes on a couple of levels. The concept of having an internal tide of emotion flowing through us was a new thought to me, so fitting in so many ways. I initially stopped reading after the “not really ours to control” part and re-read it several times. So true, there is an ebb and flow to my emotions that does feel out of my control. There is much of the moment by moment choice I can make, but the metaphor of a tide is so spot on, there is something deeper that sometimes it seems I need to swim stronger against or that puts the wind at my back. Throw in the last two lines and it grows even more true and accurate.
So thankful for taking the time to jot some of these quotes and notes down as I read, they provide wonderful fodder for future thought and contemplation.
Appreciation:
This has ben a wildly full and productive day. From waking up early-ish for a Sunday, to knocking out a quick walk after breakfast to wear out the pup, to getting stuff done around the house, to wrapping up the last details of our Grand Canyon backpacking trip, to church, to hiking, to making and enjoying dinner with both boys and their girlfriends, to spending time on the deck relaxing, to now typing up my blog it has been a nonstop rail to rail day. Busy as all get out, but a wonderful balance of productivity with a bit of present and future relaxation all built in.
During days like this I sometimes think back to how many weekend days I wasted in my youth, sitting on my butt inside, playing a video game or watching TV, and not accomplishing anything. What I would give for the opportunity to have some of those days back. Alas, I can’t, and that’s okay. I can remember this feeling and be sure to maximize the remaining time I have. I can live into purpose, I can remember to relax but in a way which is still of benefit to my goals and dreams, and I can make the most of each today I am blessed to have. So much more joy is created in days of busy productivity like this than lazy days wasted on nothing.
Here’s to days like this to motivate me to live into my best self, the reminder of wasted days of youth as fuel for the fire, and for remembering to enjoy and appreciate each moment I’m blessed to live.
Presence:
So much outside time this weekend, so many moments of presence in nature! Our hike today was a sweet little jaunt through Great River Bluffs State Park. Becky and I took Leia and enjoyed some of the most prime hiking weather one could ask for. The sun was out, the sky was blue, the temperature was in the low 70’s, the light breeze was just enough to keep the bugs away, and the area we walked was just wooded enough that each step included a little bit of both sun and shade. All the birds, squirrels, and even a deer made an appearance as we walked. Such beauty and stillness in the woods!
You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Completely out of the blue today I was informed of the very unexpected death of a past client, teammate, and friend. At 54 years old he was seemingly one of the most healthy individuals I know, incredibly big hearted, quick to smile and radiate positivity, and so full of life he seemed to be pulled right out of a movie. He was so incredibly vibrant in every way. Three days ago he passed away. Just like that, a light extinguished.
As my brain still grapples with the reality of his passing I keep thinking about many of the decisions I’ve made recently to live better. While my goal is to be hiking in the woods deep into my 90’s I am reminded that tomorrow is promised no one. Work towards the long term goal and dream, but enjoy the ride along the way and be thankful for each breath I am blessed to take.
While my heart weeps for my friend and his family I will sleep with a heart full of gratitude for the day I’ve been blessed to live today.
Appreciation:
Today has been a deeply emotional day in a variety of ways. Starting the day with an excellent bike ride while watching a video of fastpacking the O Circuit in Torres del Paine in Chile. Thinking ahead to all the adventures and goals I’ve set for myself in 2024. Finding out someone passed away too young. Struggling with work stress and challenges. Taking five minutes of stillness to reset my mind and soul (more on that in a bit). Hitting an epic workout that pushed me well outside of my comfort zone but balanced out my mindset.
Highs and lows. Peaks and valleys. What’s interesting to me today is that I’m still feeling positive and optimistic today. It would be easy to let the valleys sink my heart and cause me to be more negative. It would be just as easy to gloss over the tough stuff and focus only on the positive. In either case I would not be experiencing life to its fullest. Life throws us wonderful stuff. Life throws us difficult stuff. By experiencing both we are better able to appreciate all of life.
Today has been an incredibly full day in many ways and I am grateful to have experienced it. I would love to change parts, but I can’t. What I can do is find ways to grow through each portion – delightful and stressful – and use that growth to close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be.
My responses and actions have not been perfect, but I am okay with that. I’ve lived into a better me today than I would have if I were given the same day a year or two ago. I’m grateful for making progress.
Presence:
This afternoon my brain was awash in next steps, projects, tasks, and life. I felt like I was circling a whirlpool and slowly sinking. For whatever reason I set everything down and sat at the table in my office facing my bookshelf. My eyes immediately saw the five minute hourglass on my shelf and I knew what t do next.
I shut off my phone. I closed my laptop. I closed my door. I took my shoes off. I grabbed the hourglass and set it in front of me. I took a deep breath, flipped it, and gave myself the permission AND direction to do nothing but let my mind wander as I stared at the grains slowly draining from top to bottom.
Five minutes of completely undistracted and focused time letting my mind have the space it desperately needs to be. Five minutes of quiet. Five minutes of thought. Five minutes of stillness. Five minutes of healing. Five minutes of clarity. Five minutes of de-cluttering. Five minutes of challenging myself. Five minutes of self-condemnation. Fie minutes of acceptance. Five minutes of purpose. Those five minutes were amongst the most full moments of my entire day.
In the stillness I found peace. Direction. My why. Next steps.
Honestly, it felt like an eternity before the last grain dropped. While incredibly uncomfortable, it felt profoundly soothing. I walked away with clarity, purpose, and direction. The stress and clutter was gone, only life lay ahead of me.
Rather than boarding a flight to an ocean beach I was wandering the woods in the snow. Quite the contrast, right? I was exactly where I should be.
Becky and I spent most of our morning at Pike’s Peak outside of MacGregor, Iowa. Due to the cold weather and snowfall we were amongst the few in the entire park. Once we were more than 100 yards from the observation area we never saw another soul.
I drew in breaths of fresh autumn air through my nose and concentrated on soaking in each exquisite little detail of the sights and sensations around me. The bright red leaves and even more scarlet berries of one type of plant. The drops of water resting on the waxy underside of oak leaves. Each little “brick” in the elaborate lattice work of the limestone rock outcroppings. The sensation of the cool winter-ish breeze and snow rushing against my face and tickling the hairs of my beard. The lighting of the woods shifting and transforming as the sun danced amongst the clouds. The music of Becky’s voice as we shared our joys of the wilderness. Each step. Each breath. Each individual second. Pure magic, pure joy.
Our morning was spent in a walking meditation in the stillness of the woods. Exactly where I was called to be in those moments.
If this were my last day I would go peacefully, full of joy, fully satisfied, and with a heart full of love. Today I have lived.
Thankful for Forty 