Early in my drive to Eau Claire this morning I wrapped up the audiobook I’d been reading. I then went through a practice run of my presentation for next week. After a brief pause of silence in the car I felt compelled to fire up a book I had not read for the first time until late last year. Even though it wasn’t too long ago since I picked I up the concepts seemed to be calling to me. Next thing I knew I was deeply engrossed in Awareness by Anthony de Mello.
I can’t remember offhand how I descried this book in a previous blog and I won’t until after I’m done writing today. What I’m getting this time through it feels like a deeper understanding of the concepts as well as some realizations of the vast gap between who I am and who I am called to be. This book is really pushing me, definitely one in which there is the opposite of comfort. I have been knocked off balance a few times already and I’ve got a long ways to read yet.
What’s interesting was that it called to mind a quote from Father Mark Pierce’s last homily at our church:
If your faith doesn’t make your life more joyful, you’re doing it wrong. Now “joy” isn’t the same as “happiness,” and it is often the opposite of comfort.Fr Mark Pierce
In many ways that nails the feeling I’m having. A deep sense of peace and calm, and a lot of discomfort. So much to learn, so much to grow into, so much to let go of.