After the busyness of this past week today was a welcome detour. The day started early and contained a list of tasks I wanted to accomplish, but there was a definite state of chill riding shotgun to my productivity. Even changes to the preset plan were met with a smile and a shoulder shrug as I simply flowed from one action to the next.
Intensity is the right answer in some scenarios. Other times a state of relax can make a more profound impact. One state isn’t always right, and doing only one for extended periods of time is also the wrong answer. Today the chill was the exact counterbalance I needed.
I’m getting ever closer to the finish of writing. Today I read back through the last section and the conclusion while making notes and changes. What really caught me was the ability to pause and reflect on where I was mentally as I began writing this shortly after Dad passed away over four years ago. The lessons I learned during that wildly difficult time still permeate my thought processes. So much of the person I am today was honed and shaped and tempered during what has been the greatest challenge of my life to date.
In taking time to write down what happened, how I reacted, and what I learned I’ve been able to deeply embed so much more. Between writing, reading, editing, re-writing, reading, clarifying, expanding upon, and reading again I’ve re-lived that test many times over.
To be sure, it still hurts. Each read feels like I’m pulling the stitches out hours after the wound was sown shut. That said, I learned so much about myself during that trial. To have been tested and not deeply imprint all of the lessons into my soul would be a waste of the experience. Taking time to write has helped me find purpose in the pain, to find a way to potentially help others.
As I wrap up writing I’m so grateful for taking the time to write about the experience on paper and on my soul.