Today’s been a wild one. I’ve been very excited and upbeat. I’ve been very frustrated. I’ve had great new ideas I’ve implemented. I’ve crashed and burned on a couple of ideas. I’ve made tremendous progress… and run right into unforeseen obstacles. I’ve seen things head the right direction. I’ve seen things slipping away. I’ve had time alone to think. I’ve had very active and productive time. I’ve wasted time. I’ve been physically active at times. I’ve stayed in bed when I should have been riding my bike. I’ve lived.
In writing my blog tonight there were a handful of various directions I could take this. Some positive things that I’m thankful for. Some negative things that I’ve been able to learn from for which I am thankful. As I sit on the couch with my laptop upon my thighs my mind wanders back and forth across the landscape of today. Hills, valleys, mountains, canyons, plains, oceans and islands. I survey the view and do my best to catalog everything I see. What can I learn from? What can I do better? Where have I made progress? What new directions lay ahead? Why was this the path today? So many thoughts and answers cross my brain.
It is a grind to write like this each day. There are some days when it comes so easy, yet I’m left wondering what I’ve left out and what else I should’ve written. Some days are difficult as the gears don’t quite seem to line up. My thoughts are disjointed and don’t quite connect. My writing skills just don’t seem to do justice for my topic. Sometimes I force a topic and it doesn’t feel right. Sometimes I write only once and rush to get it done to move on and don’t take time to appreciate the process. Those days are tough as I know I’m only cheating myself by treating this precious gift, this process, as a box to be checked rather than the beautiful gift to myself it is meant to be.
What I realized was how thankful I am for this process. The simple act of sitting down and writing. In a sea of life it is an island of solitude. Not so much a deserted island to hope to be rescued from, rather a little solo sightseeing adventure. Get off the ship, paddle ashore, hike around, appreciate the experience, and then paddle back to the ship. In this 15-45 minute stretch I’m focused on living more intently towards the life I want to live. I have the opportunity to pause and reflect, learn, adjust the sails, change course slightly, and then move on to the next day. In writing about gratitude each day I give myself the gift of solitude, reflection, learning, and joy. There is no goal, no completion, no end in sight, only the path.
I know, it’s a bit of an unusual post tonight, but it really fits where my headspace is at. I’m truly thankful for this process of daily gratitude as it helps me close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be.