Where does your head go in a difficult situation? How do your personal values weigh in? When your values “get in the way” of a simple solution how do you stick with them? The last time you were in a difficult situation how did your relationship with others grow?
Due to several reasons I really can’t get into the specific who’s and what’s of the situation that brought today’s blog post on. Regardless, I think I can get my point across very clearly without that.
Over the past couple of days I’ve been working with someone on a very tough situation. It is a time when there is an initial simple answer, but when we dig deeper there are so many levels to work through. To complicate things further there’s a delicate balance of finding the right “right answer” as there are several ways to proceed.
As we have worked through the process I’ve heard one of our core values come out of my mouth on several occasions; do right. There are a couple of very simple answers, but they are not examples of doing right.
After reviewing the decision making process in my head I realized just how thankful I am for the way stressful situations offer an opportunity to show our true values. It’s easy to say what I would like to live to. It’s easy to live values when they are not put to the test. The only time when we really have an opportunity to see if we truly live to our values is in challenging times. The more challenging the better. After seeing how we respond to these difficult situations we have the opportunity to pause and review our actions. Did we do what the ideal version of ourselves would have done? Most often for me I find a gap between my actions and the actions I should have had. I think on those, ponder them, and determine ways to respond differently the next time they are tested. These trials by fire are how I can continue to improve myself in action as opposed to just thought.
The other very interesting part of this situation is that I’m working closely with someone I’ve only met once in person. Outside of that we’ve had some phone conversations and email exchanges, but nothing too crazy or in depth. Interestingly enough we come from a very closely connected network and it’s funny that we hadn’t actually met many years beforehand. There are so many similarities and shared relationships that it’s almost like we’re related!
Throughout our work on this we’re both in positions in which we have to trust each other. We’ve quickly found that our values are aligned and we’re working very well together. Working through the solution to this has significantly strengthened our relationship and I would be surprised if it doesn’t continue to grow and develop from here. Without this challenge we would never have started down the path of building a stronger friendship and trust. In moments of stress if we truly live our values as I wrote above we’ve quickly found that our values are in alignment.
Of course we’d all prefer that the challenge never presented itself, but it did and all we can do is move forward and make the most of it. Instead of costing on the negative, I’m choosing to focus on the ways we can find positives from this. Life happens, we have to move forward. The Big Dude Upstairs sometimes throws us some crazy curveballs that we can complain about, deny, or run from. What if we always embraced them and looked for the positive? What if we always lived that wonderful quote from The Book of Joy, “What can I learn from this?”
Special thanks to my friend Kris today also! She gave me an awesome compliment that I am very thankful for. There’ve been a couple of times when I’ve wanted to get frustrated, but I kept hearing her quote in my head and I truly wanted to live into it and earn it. Thanks Kris!!!