When you say goodbye to a loved one how do you turn it into a positive? How do you minimize the tears and maximize the joy in those moments? Take a minute to let that one roll through your mind and we’ll come back to that in a bit.
Yesterday morning when Becky and I went for our run we were on a sheet of almost perfectly smooth ice. At times I even put one arm behind me like a speed skater and took off gliding while swinging the other arm. It was so icy I was moving without lifting my feet off the ground. I’ve never run on anything quite like that before, it was more slippery than any broomball rink I’ve ever been on.
What an excellent way to practice choosing my attitude! It was so easy to get frustrated and want to quit. On the flip side it was so easy to relax and enjoy just how crazily different it was. I caught myself vacillating between childlike play and total adult frustration. The ice, the road, and the weather never changed; only my attitude did. The only thing that caused me to feel either was my own mindset. Funny how I had to work harder at smiling and frustration came so easily if I stopped focusing on it.
Running on ice isn’t something I’d recommend, but it was a great way to explore the gap between who I am and who I should be a little more. In those moments I remind myself to learn from the experience and through hard work and focus I will improve myself.
When we got up this morning we headed out for a nice walk. Today I’m reminded just how much more happy i am when i start the day outside. Getting fresh air and losing myself in nature is such a beautiful way to get my head in the right place for the day.
After lunch it was time to say goodbye to family and head home. My mom mentioned that saying goodbye is her least favorite part of the weekend. I disagree in a weird way. For clarity, I enjoy time with my family – I’m not saying it’s my favorite because I get to “escape” or anything like that. There’s a little trick I use to remind me that goodbyes are a very beautiful thing.
Why does saying goodbye seem sad? We’ve just had a great time together. We love each other and have to part ways for the time being. The more the goodbye hurts the more thankful we should be for it. That means we really enjoyed the time together, we love each other, and want to have more of that time.
Instead of continuing to feel sad about it I flip to the positive. I ask myself the following: “Why did I enjoy our time together so much?” “What memories did we create in our time together?” “Why do we not want our time together to end?” As I ask myself these questions they blend beautifully into helping to remind me to be thankful for the time we’ve had together instead of wasting energy and joy wishing for more.
When I feel sadness about a goodbye I’m immediately reminded to take stock of how thankful I should be for the opportunity to create those memories. When I remember those moments in my head I can’t help but smile even though I know we’re parting ways for a while. Goodbyes are a beautiful reminder to choose gratitude and to find joy in that thankfulness. Remember, true joy is wanting what you have and not in having what you want. When we say goodbye and it hurts it is a sign that we truly wanted what we just had.