Over six months ago I wrote about learning to let go of the wheel. It was a few days after Dad’s stroke and before he’d passed (here’s a link to that blog if you’d like to go back to it). That day I’d had a conversation with Pastor Glenn that I’ll hold near and dear to my heart for the remainder of my life. I’d love to tell you that I’ve learned from the lesson and haven’t made the mistake of trying to force the wheel in a certain direction, but if I told you that it’d be a lie. Rather, I’ve noticed that in the intermittent times that I take a deep breath and roll with the punches I tend to find much joy in the way things work out. Today was one of those days.
Our plans for this morning changed last night. After about two minutes of thought I had an idea pop into my brain that didn’t quite feel like it was my own (I know, it sounds crazy, but does that ever happen to you too?). It wasn’t what I had initially planned, but as soon as the idea went into my brain I knew it was the right thing and I was smiling ear to ear the more I thought about it.
This morning I headed up to Phillips early in the morning on my own from Becky’s parents’ house. The alone time in the car was more needed than I’d expected. Driving solo gave me a chance to think about time with my dad. I’ve been so busy with work and the holidays that I hadn’t really thought about this being my first Christmas without Dad. Having time alone gave me time to think, remember, and talk with Dad. That time in the car was more helpful than I ever would have expected and it never would’ve happened had I followed my initial plan.
I was able to get to church before my Aunts Renee and Donna got to church and was able to talk with a couple of people before they got there (and also after church). Once my aunts got there it felt so awesome to give them each a big hug and to spend time with them. I am so thankful for that time that I had with each of them. While I wasn’t with my dad, being there with his sisters helped me feel like I was. One of the best parts of Christmas is time with family, and it was amazing to be there with them.
Pastor Glenn did a great job (as normal) with both his homily and his message for the kids. I chuckled to myself as I quickly realized his message… sometimes we have to remember to let God’s will happen even though we don’t know why it’s happening and especially if it’s not what we wanted. I’m starting to wonder if it’s by something a little more than just chance that I’ve heard that message from him multiple times… giving him a big hug felt great, I’m so thankful for all of the help he was as I worked through dad’s passing. He and his wife are family, I was thankful to spend time with them this summer!
By the time I was heading home my heart was so warmed, I felt great. To keep with the family time theme I was able to talk with both my mom and brother for a little while on the drive. It’ll be great to spend time with them in person in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime the phone call was perfect.
Back at Ken & Mary’s I was greeted with an already prepared hot lunch. Afterwards we headed out to the woods on a handful of four wheelers to enjoy some family time outdoors.
None of this was scripted, the plan was supposed to be very different and I was very much looking forward to it. When the new plan was shown to me I was nervous at first, but now as I look back I can’t imagine anything different. The Big Guy Upstairs took the wheel today, and I’m glad he did. He’s obviously a much better driver than I am. 🙂