There’s still a big hole in my life today… There’ve been several times in which I was about to call Dad but then realized that he’s not around. While I still talk to him it’s just not the same and there’s a feeling of loss every time I think of calling. That’s why I’m thankful for some pretty awesome distractions that helped me out a lot today.
The day started off with a couple of my uncles coming over to help move some small trees to a new location near the house. There was something therapeutic about planting those trees, it was something that we can look back to and remember fondly. It also provided some quality time with my uncles, brother, and Dominic. As we wrapped up I had the opportunity to see my dad’s most recent shed and it left me smiling.
Later in the day Nancy, her sister Patsy, Becky, the boys, and I pulled out the paintball guns and played the game they loved with Grandpa Pete, Paintball Chicken. We laughed, giggled, had a great time, and had a brief respite from grief.
Before heading out we spent time picking rocks in the pit. This was one of Dad’s favorite hobbies and we always had fun doing that with him. I felt close to him while searching out the best rocks. Over the course of the week I ended up with a 5 gallon bucket full of rocks. 🙂
On the way home Becky and I drove separately (a result of timing for Thursday) so Dominic rode with me. The ride started with Dominic playing his iPod and me listening to an audiobook. After a while he put his iPod down and I turned off the book. We were quiet, then started chatting, and then proceeded to rock out to the tunes he had on his iPod. We jammed out, did some car dancing, sang loud, and laughed a lot. Next thing I knew we were back home, but both smiling. Dad would have been proud (of the time together, not the musical choices!).
I have a sneaking suspicion that it’ll be a long road until life starts to feel normal again, but as long as I can keep finding moments like there were today I know that I’ll be alright.
Love you Dad!