Tag: writing

Thankful for the True Burden of All Masters (and Parents), Pausing Life to Allow My Soul to Breathe, & Blogging by the Campfire

Day 3,988

Growth:

As we drove from one part of New River Gorge to another we got a fun text from Gavin saying he’d decided to opt for a double major of neuroscience and biophysics because it wasn’t that much more work.  We both chuckled and commented on how grateful we are for both boys being as intelligent as they are, and then an old quote that is one of my favorites came back to mind.  

“We are what they grow beyond, that is the true burden of all masters.”  This was from the wise philosopher, Yoda.

What struck me most is that this is exactly the moment in which there is so much the boys both have to learn which is beyond my capability.  I’ve worked to share as much as I can with them, and for sure, there is still much more for me to share with them, but they are at the point when they really need to reach out beyond Becky and I for their next steps of growth. 

There’s something very sad and empty feeling about that for me, both in knowing that they have grown beyond needing my help, and from a sense of personal purpose – what else do I have to offer if that which I am most used to contributing is no longer needed by those I focused it on?

That said, there’s still a very fulfilling and rewarding side as well.  It appears we’ve done well in our roles to help take care of them and to grow them, they are both very much ready for the next stages of their lives.  There’s a calm in knowing that if something should happen to me I’ve done what was needed to help them be as prepared as I can help them to be.  

Intriguing thought processes to be sure, where does my focus and energy go now?  To which directions should I channel it?  

Appreciation:

To pause life so much that the actual sense of relaxation really sinks in, the ability to sleep eight plus hours for multiple nights, the quiet calm of a still mind as a place to play with thoughts and ideas.  I honestly forgot which day of the week it was this morning, Becky laughed so hard as I had to do some calculations to make sure I knew which day it actually was.  

This sense of calm that is found when there is no email to check, no calls to return, no “priorities” to focus on for the day.  Creating space for my mind to breathe, for my soul to have the space it needs to create and think and reflect and put all the lessons learned into a more coherent thought.  This time to pause and reflect, to savor the beauty of nature so much more clearly, to exist with Becky and connect – often with no words needed, only a smile – this is what it means to be on vacation.  I’m so glad to have created this space for my soul.

Presence:

I think this may be the first time I’ve typed my blog on a laptop sitting in front of a campfire!  The smell of the burning hardwood, the earth of the fire, the dancing of the flames behind my screen as I type, a siren of sorts, a glowing muse for my blog.  This could be a more common practice as I create more space for my mind to pause and think.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Mid-Life Awareness, Dominic, & Existing with the Campfire

Day 3,986

Growth:

With the big 5 – 0 slowly creeping up on me like a screaming ninja dragging three bags of empty aluminum cans and glass bottles across a bumpy concrete alley I’ve been starting to pause and consider this milestone in more detail.

What I find interesting isn’t the sensation of “oh my god, I’m so old” so much as it is a “woah, it is now pretty much guaranteed that half of my life is behind me.”  Along those lines, there is no panic of death looming ahead, no sudden “I need to make all these crazy changes,” or deep re-consideration of all of my life choices.  

It’s an oddly calm sensation, a realization of a life well lived. 

It’s a vivid reminder of just how quickly time can pass by when we aren’t paying attention to it.

It’s the thought that I should have more gratitude for each day I have, to live more intentionally.

No fear, no crazy negative feelings, no sense of suddenly being old, feeble, and unable to do the things I enjoy doing.  No panic of being in the back nine and trying to catch back up to par.  

I feel oddly refreshed.  The lint filter of my mind seems to be getting cleaned out with this rolling of the odometer.  Getting rid of the gunk so I can finish efficiently and on track.  An opportunity to pause, re-evaluate direction, and re-prioritize what I want to accomplish with the clarity of seeing the finish line. 

Mid-life crisis?  Not even fucking close.  More like mid-life intentionality?  Mid-life re-prioritizing?  Mid-life awakening?

Hmm…. Nope, none of this quite nail it.

Mid-life awareness?  That’s the sensation, the opportunity, the challenge, all in a nutshell!

Appreciation:

Gavin had me thinking about my first week of college at Michigan Tech way back in the day yesterday, funny that Dominic brought back a different set of memories today!

Dominic celebrated his 21st birthday today!  While I still think Becky should be the one celebrated for her truly heroic feats of strengths to birth Dominic, we’ll focus on the traditional celebrating of the one who was born instead.

Normally on this day each year I take time to pull up pics from throughout the past year and let them do most of the talking.  With being out in the middle of Shenandoah National Park without consistent cell coverage that’s not an option so I’ll improvise a bit.

What I’m most grateful for in Dominic is his undying positivity, his passion for helping others, his ability to lead through example, his gigantic dreams, and his love of nature.  

Dominic is almost always in a positive mood, seeing the bright side in seemingly every difficult situation.  He reminds me to pause and take a deep breath, to roll with whatever challenges may arise, and to always keep his chin up.  He always finds a way to be successful, especially when he isn’t.  Nothing can beat him and his optimism down.

He is always watching out for ways to help others – directly, indirectly, and through any support needed.  He has a servant’s heart and is always looking for ways to include the un-included.  Even when others disagree with him he looks to find ways to help bring them joy.  Ever since he was a young kid he’s been determined to help be a positive influence for others.

Dominic is very much a natural leader (though he works very diligently at it with regularity even when he doesn’t know it).  People look to him when things go sideways, he can find a plan, he stays positive, and is quick to dive in and do whatever it takes, leading by example.  There are several times  specifically in which he taught me to be a better leader and set the example I should live into (a contentious town hall meeting is one of the clearest memories).  People follow his integrity.

I don’t know many people with a dream list as robust as his, nor anyone else who is as likely to check as many of them off as he will in his lifetime.  There are no limits to his dreams, they keep growing as they have since he was young, and they will keep leading him down the right path.  He’s often inspired others to dream big, myself included!  As a result of his dreams he’s made some epic trips, knocked out some crazy hikes, and has a ton of other dreams ahead of him.  

I’d also be remiss to not mention how grateful I am for his love of the outdoors, of nature, and of all the beautiful and simple things which lay right outside our homes.  He’s a fan of getting outside, appreciates seeing the spectacular beauty in something as simple as a sunset, as dazzling as the Northern Lights, and as awesome as the mountains.  That passion for the outdoors brings so much joy to him that he can’t help but exude to others.  

There are so many reasons I am grateful for Dominic – his friendship, his humor, and so many others that it becomes difficult to focus this blog.  That said, what I appreciate the most of everything about Dominic is that he motivates and inspires me to live into a better version of myself.  How amazing is it to have a son who reminds you to be the man you are called to be?

Love you Bud!!!

Presence:

The sensation of sitting by a campfire with no goal, no tasks, no distractions.  Quietly watching the flames dance.  Letting the mind empty, becoming lost in the complete lack of pattern of the fire.  Soaking in the smells of the different types of wood burning.  Enjoying the feel of the heat on my bare legs and feet, having to back up to avoid being burned, and then slowing working my way back closer.  The letting go of stress, of emotion, of thought, of worry.  Existing with the flame.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Books That Keep Getting Bigger

Day 3,969

One of my “Top 3 Start Doing” goals was reading more deeply rather than going very wide.

Over the past handful of years my focus has been on reading a set number of books and I’ve tended to let my mind and tastes wander a bit as progressed through the year. Whenever something caught my fancy I’d pick it up and give it a shot. This let to reading many books I otherwise wouldn’t have read, but it wasn’t conducive to deeper understanding. Occasionally one would really strike a chord and I’d read it again. Much more rarely I would stumble into a book which would re-read at least once per year.

This year I decided to do something a little different. I curated a list of twenty-five books that I committed to reading three times each in 2026. These were amongst my all time favorites, but largely focused on the ones I felt would help me grow most this year, the books that would help me work on closing the gap between who I currently am and who I’d like to grow into. For sure, there are some fiction mixed in – fiction allows a chance to reality test ideas in a sandbox, an opportunity to play and explore, a different view of the world focused through a very specific lens or paradigm.

Three of the books I’ve already consumed (or in the process of reading) for the third time have gotten better every single time I’ve read them. Fight Club, No Country for Old Men, and Fahrenheit 451 have gotten better with every single re-reading of them

Some books get smaller and less significant once you know the ending. These three keep getting bigger and more meaningful.

I wouldn’t necessarily call any of them perfect books. In fact, each has a few little quirks in the writing that annoy me every single time I read it. Somehow, I think that makes me love them more. The imperfections give them character. They feel less polished, perhaps, but more alive.

Beneath the plots are questions that don’t get resolved when you reach the final page. They’re questions humans have wrestled with for most of our existence: joy, acceptance, learning, freedom, intentionality, meaning, legacy.

Maybe that’s why knowing how these stories end doesn’t diminish them. Once I stop wondering what happens next, I have more room to notice what they’re actually saying.

The “me” who is re-reading them is not the same “me” who read them each of the last times. Life has changed since the last reading. My perspectives and paradigms and priorities have likely shifted just enough to provide a slightly new lens to view them through. Maybe the last reading helped me make a subtle change and I’m now ready to make another. Maybe I didn’t learn the lesson last time, and now I see it a little more clearly, with a little more urgency.

Regardless of the reasons, each of these books holds a gravitational pull on me. I’m grateful for the way they’ve pulled me into their orbit, and for how they continue to push and pull at the way I see myself and the world.

At this point, they’ve almost created a Three Body Problem in my brain!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Dreams Taking Shape

Day 3,945

Whew – reality testing dreams, pretty wild when they truly start to form from the aether, slowly taking shape, starting to become something tangible. The moment in which they slip from concept to a working prototype, something that can actually be experienced rather than only imagined.

Today I had a couple of those moments, two very different, yet oddly symmetrical, dreams starting to transition from a mental concept to a tangible something to share. In both cases the sharing of the concept went better than expected, great feedback, a quick understanding of what it was and why it fills a gap that is present. One conversation specifically went down a very interesting path prior to sharing the idea, once that had concluded it folded perfectly and accidentally right into proving the effectiveness and “why” behind the dream itself!

So much more work ahead on both. One will take center stage shortly as I build up a critical mass towards it over the next few months, the other as a side project which appear when it’s ready – yet will continue to grow through the first project’s progress as well as through more experience of my professional life through that lens. These two fit so well together and have helped each other grow throughout their progression.

Very exciting day today, one that makes me want to put more focus into both, but I am also well aware of the season of life I am in, the work I need to do to pay for life as I grow towards these other two dreams. As the tedium and stress of the day job ebbs and flows I’ve got these two dreams continuing to build, allowing me to see ways to turn my current experiences into more than an income or a career, but an additional fuel that helps me narrow the considerable gap between who I am today and who I am called to be.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Remembering the Give and Take, Remembering Appreciation, & a Moment of Calm

Day 3,927

Growth:

Many days this task is to help focus my brain on what’s been most meaningful throughout the day. The appreciation I have for certain actions, people, things, happenings, and whatnot. Remember that this can also go in the reverse, helping to frame the frustration and stress of the day into a reason to be thankful. This blog is not for the result in of itself, rather, it is a tool to help me work to close the gap between where I am and where I am meant to grow. Reflection, direction, action, motivation – a tool to be used as needed based on the day.

Appreciation:

Interesting day for a handful of reasons – starting off with a super tight and sore back to a stressful work day to a transition from a difficult conversation to a productive one. Once home it was a dinner with Becky, slow stretching to get my back moving, a call with my brother to joke and laugh, and then some quiet time to blog as I heat my back.

The overall “joy” score of my day was very meh to be sure (likely a -1) and I really struggled to find a reason to blog tonight. There were so many moments to be grateful for individually, but the overall feel of the day was a bummer all around. By leveraging this habit of blogging every single day of why I’m grateful I was able to get my brain turned back around to the positives and to remember to focus more energy there. For sure, the day was still a bummer, but one I can struggle through as I know there are always things I can learn from these types of days, so long as I remember to be grateful for them.

Today that meant being grateful for the acts of kindness, for the opportunity to help others, for the time with Becky and the meal she made, for the time with my brother as we laughed. For the time I spent texting family for various reasons as we all laughed. For this moment of quiet respite to gather my thoughts and choose the better attitude… I am grateful.

Presence:

Taking a quiet moment to myself to get all the junk out of my head. Pressing the pause button on the stress, opening my mind to see the bigger picture. Enjoying the view of the leaves dancing in the wind outside the window, watching the ground squirrel scampering through the park across the street. Allowing my mind to clear. Calm.

Thanks!!

Thankful for Both Sides of the Glass, Being Human, & Sharing Thanks for Others

Day 3,871

Growth:

Funny how when pausing to consider how we can help someone else through a challenge we find a similar way that we could help ourselves through challenges we are also facing. Quite often this can quickly turn into a combination of a mirror AND window exercise – looking through to see how to handle a difficult situation AND seeing the sometimes ugly reflection of ourselves creating the same challenge for others that we ourselves are attempting to work through. As I pulled up this quote for someone this morning I caught myself on both sides of the glass – seeing both how I could have handled a situation differently had I followed the advice AND how I was simultaneously acting in poor judgement which also caused the same hardship to others who could have used the advice.

One friend, one piece of advice, two ways of seeing myself making poor decisions in the past, and two ways of seeing myself taking better action in the future. Cheers to the beauty of taking the third person perspective to help us heal what is broken within ourselves.


To feel affection for people even when they make mistakes is uniquely human. You can do it, if you simply recognize: that they’re human too, that they act out of ignorance, against their will, and that you’ll both be dead before long.
And, above all, that they haven’t really hurt you. They haven’t diminished your ability to choose.

Marcus Aurelius
Meditations: A New Translation (Modern Library)

Appreciation:

There certainly are interesting themes I am starting to see within the twenty five books I’ve chosen to read three times each this year. One theme which has been resonating very clearly recently is the concept of being truly human. Not putting up a false front, owning what it means to be human in all of its trappings – good, bad, uplifting, disappointing, beautiful, and ugly. Being okay with being human, being less than perfect, being fallible, making mistakes, allowing ego to overcome the betterment of the community and so on.

This morning it really hit me as I was moved to emotion by this quote from Kurt Vonnegut in Slaughterhouse-Five:

“And Lot’s wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human.
So she was turned into a pillar of salt.
People aren’t supposed to look back. I’m certainly not going to do it anymore.”

Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Presence:

Pausing to take a moment to appreciate the positive impact someone makes in our lives. Such a simple action, pause, write out our thoughts, share them with the person, yet so easy to say “I’ll do that later” only to have “later” slowly transition into “never.” In those moments of focus, of thinking about that person and the positive impact they have had on us, our souls are full and we are completely present in the task of appreciating them. Very grateful for taking the time to do just that this evening!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Data Tracking

Day 3,838

This may seem like a wild one, but I am very grateful for some of the crazy data tracking I’ve been doing which wasn’t technically intentional but has turned into a wildly insightful set of datapoints!

I’ve been blogging daily since September 29, 2015 about at least one thing I am grateful for. The intent was to strengthen my my appreciation muscles to live more joyfully. Throughout the years it’s transformed int a time capsule of my thoughts, emotions, observations, and memories. Thanks to the power of data aggregation I’ve got a plethora of data to analyze, over 3,800 posts encompassing 1.2 MILLION words I’ve typed over that time period.

Additionally, I’ve been tracking each book I’ve read in order going back to January of 2022. By following this trail of bread crumbs I’m able to see when certain ideas started to take hold as well as the impact that they made via my blog posts from that time. Awareness by Anthony de Mello was by far and away the front runner for me in that time period – both in total reads and in mentions in blog posts.

Last, in early 2024 I started a daily scorecard for myself on what I have found to be the most important measurements and daily questions to ask myself. While it didn’t maintain as a habit in 2024 it was something I did on over 85% of the days of 2025 and have been over 95% of the days so far in 2026. These points add a different level of depth, diving into everything from minutes of exercise to daily joy (-2 to +2), and so many more nuggets.

As I start to put all of these pieces together I’m getting a more and more clear view into who I am, what makes me tick, and how I’ve grown over the past decade. Just short moments of time to pause and blog, to keep score, to read a little – but so much wisdom to glean from those nuggets!

More to follow for sure, but today I’m grateful for realizing just how much data I’ve compiled for myself to review in order to live a more fulfilling live. Pretty wild!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Learning Through Incremental Growth, Time with Dominic, & Difficult Money Conversations

Day 3,765

Growth:

Only two and a half weeks into the year and I’m already seeing huge benefits to my 2026 plan. My actions have shifted, my thoughts have shifted, my intentions have shifted. Nothing crazy, no wild 180 degree change or anything, just incremental growth, a focus on one percent better each day.

While digging a little deeper into The Alchemist this morning I came across this gem:

“It’s a book that says the same thing almost all the other books in the world say,” continued the old man. “It describes people’s inability to choose their own Personal Legends. And it ends up saying that everyone believes the world’s greatest lie.”

“What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised.

“It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

Here’s to remembering that we always have a choice to make, action we can take of our own volition – even if, or especially if – it is only within our own mind and heart.

Appreciation:

Dominic headed back up to college today, my initial emotion was sadness at his leaving. I had to pause, catch, and redirect myself – how grateful I was for the time we had together this past few weeks! It was wonderful having him home throughout these past weeks, we got so much bonus time with him. I’m very thankful for all of the experiences he has been having at school and for the future he is building for himself, I’m also more and more grateful for the relationship we built while he lived at home – it keeps us close even when the distance is far. So appreciative for the time we’ve had with Dominic, for the relationship we’ve built with him, and for the fact that I love him so much I always feel a bit of sadness when he leaves.

Presence:

Working through difficult topics as a family today, figuring out college tuition budgeting now that Gavin’s selected where he’s going to school. We all had to pause, get all the details on a spreadsheet, figure things out, and then spend time showing how and why each potential level to pull is important. For sure, showing Gavin the benefits of paying more sooner on his after school monthly loan payments, working through the reasons behind interest rates, and showing how pulling money from one location versus another leads to a larger deficit in the future was not my idea of Sunday family fun, BUT it was exactly what we all needed to do in order to see a more clear path of what we need to work through. Not the most exciting family time, but family time that was very well spent and led to growth for Gavin.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Un-Becoming, Strengths of Others, & a Day Bookended by the Moon

Day 3,691

Growth:

This quote by Paulo Celho has now appeared in a few different books I’ve read. Each time I see it I can’t help but recognize the simplicity and honesty of it. So often we use a journey or a challenge to grow into something, to become a different someone. Sometimes maybe we need to strip away all of the excess to see who we really are under all the false pretenses and identities we’ve wrapped around ourselves – all in an effort to see who we were before we allowed the world and ourselves to lead us astray.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

Paulo Coelho

Appreciation:

Another day in which I’m reminded of the power of allowing people to work from their strengths. Line them up in the right situation, allow them to utilize their own personal gifts and strengths, and watch all the greatness they create. Many opportunities to observe just that today in a few different directions.

Why is it that ego causes me to feel compelled to attempt to be good at everything, to be able to do everything, only to fail as I push too hard outside of my strengths and don’t allow others to help? When I remember to create space for others, to observe them working within their strengths in ways I could ever do as well or as naturally or with as much natural joy and energy – my heart is more full of joy, we are all more successful, and the world is a better place. Ego is so lame!

Presence:

The full moon lit up the sky this morning while Becky and I ran in the cool air. As I drove to Winona the moon slowly drifted down behind the bluffs in a spectacular moonset. On my drive home the moon was starting to float above the bluffs as it rose into the sky, dragging the dark blue sky that followed the purple and pink remnants of the sunset.

A day bookmarked by the moon in all it’s beauty, a day full of present moments.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Being, a Excellent String of Books, & Couch Conversations

Day 3,668

Growth:

We never know the struggles others are facing. We will never understand their perspective. We will never truly grasp their entire backstory. We are human, known truly to no one, not even ourselves.

Rather than judging each other we should be focused on loving each other. Rather than wanting what others have we should be appreciative for all we have. How much more simple would life be if we were but thankful for this present moment, this breath? In that presence and contentedness there is no room for envy, fear, or anger, only love and appreciation.

Pause, breathe, be thankful for the breath we have, for the moment we are in, for all the beauty surrounding us. Don’t want, instead be.

Appreciation:

I’ve been on a pretty epic hot streak of reading recently! After a book on Roman history that was a pretty big miss I’ve been knocking out one great book after another and it’s been great!

The most recent book I’ve started is The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen, a gem written in 1978 of an expedition to Nepal. The author writes in a flowingly epic style, just enough detail to fully engage the mind’s eye without becoming tedious. The focus on what he sees and learns in chunks of smaller stories within the journey has caught my full attention.

Once in a while there is a book that I really just don’t enjoy. More often there are books I decide I would prefer to not read again. This recent streak has been full of books I’ll be re-reading at least one or two more times each!

Presence:

Sitting in the living room, having random conversations in spurts with Becky and Gavin as we each do our thing – Becky reading, Gavin doing homework, and me blogging. Interspersed in the moments of quiet focus were jokes, comments, and conversations. A perfectly chill way to spend time while also being focused on what we each needed in the moment.

Thanks!!!