Today was a wonderful reminder of the power of journaling. My blog post from four years ago popped up and flooded me with so many memories. Had I not taken the time to write my thoughts down I would have likely forgotten a day like this.
“Gratitude leads to abundance. Abundance leads to giving. Giving leads to joy.”
Becky and I were expecting to have a quiet house to the two of us after our hike this morning. As luck would have it we had both boys and their girlfriends for the majority of the day and evening! So many games and laughs, dinner as a family – all completely unexpected and greatly appreciated! Times like these are always moments I am grateful for.
Presence:
During our hike we reached a very scenic viewpoint just before the storm and rain rolled in. As I recorded the video below the wind picked up, the temperature dropped, and everything in the air seemed to shift as if there was an immense inhale. What a moment! Nothing quite like the moment the front rolls in.
Full disclosure, my mental diet has been loaded with possibly too much Neil Gaiman reflections, stories, and ideas as of late – if there is such a thing.
Have you ever met a person who at some deep visceral level you could tell that they were more than a person?
Yesterday I had the opportunity to do a little bit of trail running in between Gavin’s races and I found this beautiful rocky valley just a short drive away.
As I ran into the valley, I just had to pause and take it all in. Surrounded by beautiful rock walls that had been carved out by thousands and thousands of years of water slowly cutting through the rock from the glacial activity, I was completely alone.
There were roots holding trees up at impossible angles right on edges of the cliffs where no tree should be able to exist. And yet there they all were.
When I hit the end of the trail I just paused and soaked it all in, and savored a moment by the little waterfall. I stood on a couple of the big rocks right in the middle of the canyon and just took it all in with each of my senses.
As I was walking back, I encountered someone who just seemed to be more than just a someone. In so many ways, they seemed to be the incarnation of that area that I was in. They seemed to have been carved out of the surrounding environment, their eyes the same dark brown as the surrounding rock walls, their hair blowing in the valley breeze as if one with the shadows created by the swaying leaves.
They had said they’d been here many times before, it’s one of their favorite places on earth. Their face lights up as they say this as the sun shines on the rocks over their shoulder.
There was this sly smile on their face, a smile that was so knowing, almost as if to say, “I’m going to tell you about these other places to go, these other trails here, but I’m not going to tell you about all of them because you have to find and experience them yourself, you have to come back.”
And there was just something about them that was just so similar to the enchanting landscape surrounding me. Even the surreally intricate tattoo of a feather on their right forearm seemed to have been plucked off the floor of the valley after having recently dropped by an eagle soaring by. It was incredibly intense and yet the edges of memory are already starting to slightly fray as a dream does throughout the morning.
I don’t know a better way to explain it other than I met someone, someone who was more than someone. They were of the valley.
Sometimes opportunities present themselves at seemingly inopportune times, but we feel compelled to take them regardless of logic. those “nudges” seem to never fail to produce amazing results when heeded.
By taking on an opportunity to do some training I stumbled upon a powerful. well timed, and much needed focus on self reflection. To built this I needed to pause and look back over the past 20ish years to observe the results of actions and inactions without emotion, rather with the scalpels of logic and reason. Through that process was discomfort for sure, but also smiles of past successes and so many opportunities for growth and improvement. There are so many ways in which this has helped me more clearly see the gap between who I am and who I am called to be.
Had I passed on this opportunity I would have had more time to focus on other things – busyness which will still need to be attended – but I would not have had this opportunity to learn and grow. What a gift it has been!
Appreciation:
This might sound cheesy, but there’s a quote which has been bouncing through my soul thru the past few days. In many ways it sums up so much of what I am most grateful for this evening.
“Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is.
We are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.”
Master Yoda 😉
While the source may be a bit too much for some, the sentiment and truth of the quote cannot be overstated.
How much brighter is the world if we all choose to help each other be better than ourselves? By helping to raise others up we create joy for all.
Presence:
That moment went you know that you are exactly where you are meant to be and doing exactly what you are meant to be doing, and a part of something much bigger than yourself. It opens the mind to ideas of how much we could all accomplish working together, sharing openly, and living into who we were meant to be. Today’s Express Leadership Academy training was a moment which will continue to inspire me to remember the beauty of “we” over “me.”
The concept of Antifragility has really been hitting home for me. Funny how the combination of examples from the actual book didn’t quite sink in fully, but these ongoing nudges have kept coming from so many other sources. I’m pretty sure Taleb’s book , Antifragile, has been referenced in no fewer than four books I’ve read in the past six months!
Here’s the concept in a nutshell. Many things are fragile. If I drop a coffee mug onto stone it breaks. It is fragile.
A stainless steel Yeti might survive the fall as it is durable. That said, it doesn’t get hurt, but it also does not get better due to the fall.
Something which is antifragile gets better specifically because it was hurt or broken. In so many ways humans are antifragile – it is in discomfort and frustration and challenge in which we grow stronger. Consider weightlifting, the lifting of heavy weight cause micro tears in the muscle which then heal stronger than before, thus they get better due to the break.
In so much of our lives we avoid discomfort, but quite often that avoidance stunts our growth. We also actively work to prevent those we love from experiencing discomfort, which often hurts them more in the long run.
A note to Future Mike – lean into the discomfort! Help push others towards discomfort! Remember though that discomfort is good, but don’t let them or yourself complete break being repair
Appreciation:
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal
Many years ago I was introduced to this quote and it has rocked my brain ever since. It is so easy to stay “busy” and not take the quiet time needed to think.
Honestly, I think that is one of the reasons I’ve been blogging like this for the past 3,000+ days… it is a self enforced daily ritual of sitting alone with my thoughts to pause and process the day and all of its experiences.
In preparation for tomorrow’s presentation I’ve had to spend time alone with my thoughts and my old journals as I sift through past experiences which have led you to today. All of that time focused on reflection and introspection are so different from the usual chaos filled days of hard work. I’m taking this time to reflect I’m also seeing so many opportunities to grow into a better version of myself. Had I not put this training together so many of these insights may have been lost to the future.
Here’s to taking the time to pause, reflect, and sit quietly in my room (which I’m literally doing right now).
Presence:
This evening I was blessed to have dinner with some of my favorite people, some of our Express Leadership Academy (ELA) family. So many insightful conversations, sharing of stories, and so many laughs! While I don’t have many opportunities to hang out with them IRL like this I’m amazed at how quickly it feels like I’m hanging out with old friends who get me and accept me as I am. For reals, it feels like I’ve known them all for many years. What an awesome start to my quick trip to OKC!
So much of life is about intentionality. When we choose to pursue our purpose and to create our path we have the opportunity to live into our best lives. This doesn’t just happen, this means we must determine what is most important to us and then create the life in which will lead us there. Approximately seven years ago Becky, Gavin, & I intentionally chose to keep this date reserved to watch the solar eclipse in its totality. We took action, we planned ahead, we put it on the calendar, and then we navigated a handful of very unexpected surprises – including a tornado taking out the AirBNB we’d reserved well over a year in advance. I’m so thankful we chose to live intentionally into this dream!
Appreciation:
I can’t even begin to put into words just how mind blowing the eclipse was today. So thankful to have had the opportunity to share it with Becky and Gavin (too bad Dominic had college classes today!). This experience is one that the three of us will share forever. So grateful for taking the time away to witness this!
Presence:
My mind is still struggling to comprehend what I experienced this afternoon. Anticipation and excitement were running at an all time high as the last little sliver of the sun slowly disappeared. In an instant everything around me changed, the sun disappeared completely and instead was replaced with a black circle surrounded by a circle of white which shown unlike anything I’ve every seen or dreamt in my entire life. Around the rim of white there were the occasional bright pink dots of solar flares dancing. It was so beautiful and truly awesome that I was moved to tears. Never in my life have I experienced anything quite so surreal as that moment. Although it lasted for over three minutes it felt like only seconds. That image of those three minutes will be imprinted in my mind and soul for the entirety of my life (and likely then some).
Nothing like early starts and some good old fashioned luck! Between getting up and moving early and pure luck our timing today was impeccable. We were able to easily find a parking spot at the trailhead. We lucked into a parking spot at the next trailhead. When we went out to eat there just happened to be one table open.
Sometimes it is s about planning ahead and being early. Other times luck just seems to make things work out. Here’s to both!
Appreciation:
National Park #32 for Becky and I is in the books! Cuyahoga Valley National Park was much cooler than expected! Between the hills, the streams, and the rock formations there was a lot to see in our day of hiking. It was definitely very busy due to the upcoming eclipse, but very much worth the trip.
Exploring the rock formations at The Ledges
We’re now just over halfway to our goal of visiting them all 😄
Presence:
I think my favorite part of our hike today was a small creek crossing. The stream bed was a slate like rock and it was carved into the bottom of a small valley. A large rock outcropping stood sentinel over it, and there were trees all around. So peaceful and serene.
As a family we continue to push and motivate each other to more than we would likely do on our own. Thanks to wanting to keep up with my sons while hiking on our next adventures I hit the gym for a solid Saturday workout. Gavin asked Dominic to lead him in a speed workout for track. They pushed each other and Dominic worked Gavin so hard that Gavin tossed his cookies at the end of the run… twice. The motivation of Dominic helped Gavin push himself further than he likely would have on his own.
Tonight I’m very appreciative for the ways we help push and motivate each other as a family.
Appreciation:
Life is sometimes about balance and counterbalance. Last night I wrote about being grateful for the high umber of connections I made throughout the day. So much of my day was spent in interactions with others and engaging with them. Today has been very much the opposite and I’m just as appreciative of it.
The morning kicked off with a short conversation with Dominic before we all split up to go our separate ways for our workouts this morning. I had my AirPods in while I knocked out 90 minutes of solo stairclimbing with no interaction with anyone else in the gym. Dominic and I were going in different directions afterwards and I was off to pick up Gavin before Dominic left for work. Gavin and I talked for a little while on our drive, but then it was off to showers and then lunch. We took Leia for a four mile hike and spent much of it in silence as we both took in the stillness of the forest. Some more interaction on our way home and then I was off to the grocery store.
At the store my AirPods were in and I enjoyed one of my favorite solo experiences – listening to music amongst a crowd of people. I was in the world, but not of the world. I know, sounds goofy, but it feels amazing to find a pocket of “aloneness” in the midst of a crowd.
More quick interactions with Gavin as we unloaded groceries, and then he was off to hang out with his buddies. As I type I’m surrounded by the cacophony of laughter that is exploding up from the basement stairs. They’re obviously having a blast and I’m enjoying the second hand sounds of it.
It’s largely been a day of disconnectedness and I’m grateful for it. Such a beautiful counterbalance to yesterday!
Presence:
For ninety minutes I climbed steps to nowhere while sweating my butt off and smiling the entire way. I had my audiobook on and just kept putting one foot in front of the other for much longer than I’d planned. My hope was to do about half of what I did, but I was feeling great and decided to keep on going.
In many ways it reminded me of the state of mind I used to get into during long distance runs, when I was kind of zoning out to the world, but traveling inward and listening to and engaging with my thoughts with so much more clarity than other times in life. The ongoing monotony of the motion kind of creates its own stillness, not too different than what I wrote about a couple of days ago with watching the hourglass.
Ninety minutes of a churning calm, ninety moments of presence.
Today I was working on the last of the testing and set up for recording the audio version of my book (which you can learn more about here). I’ve got the pseudo-studio in Dominic’s bedroom closet ready to go with soundproofing, I’ve got all the equipment set up, I’ve got my recording app (Audacity) all set, and did a couple of test runs to see what I’m getting myself into. At this point I know I will be able to record well and in a format that will get uploaded to ACX (Audible.com) and other websites. All I need to do now is the hard work, recording 😉
What I was reminded of today is how grateful I am for all of the online resources we have available to make projects like this easier. Being able to hop on YouTube to learn about recording, using Google to find how to upload and install a plugin for the application, and then stumbling upon advice to e more successful was a total godsend! Having such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom at our fingertips like this is something I don’t take time to appreciate often enough.
Appreciation:
For the past decade and a half our house has been a largely loud and crazy place. Whether it was chasing the boys, playing with the dogs, or hanging out with friends it seems like our house was always a place of busyness. Today it is only Leia and I. Gavin and Becky are on a trip in France and Dominic is in college. Such a crazy and drastic change!
Within this quiet has been a huge focus on productivity. I put together a fairly large list of what I want to accomplish this weekend and I’ve already made some serious headway on it. Additionally, with the definite lack of conversation there’s been so much time to think and contemplate while I am getting things done. The quiet has been uncanny – almost like when I did my solo writing retreat and solo backpacking trip – but in an even more interesting way as it is in the place which is usually the center of conversation.
I know without question that I prefer the busyness and conversations within our home, but there is a magic to this stillness that I am thankful for in small doses. It reminds me of a book I read not too long ago about someone who has almost completely withdrawn from the rest of society. He pops back in every so often just to stay sane before fading back into the wilderness. In my case it seems like I need to fade into the background of solitude every so often before jumping back into real life in order to hold more tightly to my sanity.
I miss the time with my family, but I am appreciative for the time I have alone. It is certainly a time of healing, rejuvenation, and focus – so long as I choose to utilize it that way. I am reminded of the old quote by Blaise Pascal:
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal
Here’s to enjoying that quiet time in a room alone.
Presence:
This morning Leia and I went for a little hike on a beautiful trail just off of Fisherman’s Road and enjoyed some outside time in the sun. She took her time to sniff everything possible as we slowly worked our way along the out and back trail. It was easy to see she was loving the outside time in the woods as much (possibly even a little more than) I was.
This afternoon she was getting a little squirrelly so I thought we’d take on our second hike of the day. After a very short distance she was walking very fast and starting to pull on her leash. Even though I was not prepped for a trail run – I was wearing cargo shorts and no socks – I decided it was time to test her out with some trail running. Seeing as she’s a puppy we’ve been slowly building up her distance, I haven’t taken her for a trail run yet. I hit the gas, she smiled, and then all I saw was her backside… until she would suddenly dart off the trail to stop and smell something!
Other than her smell breaks we ran well over three quarters of the trail together and it was awesome!!! I am not sure which of us was smiling bigger by the time we were done. Definitely a moment I’ll remember forever, kind of like the time I took LuLu running solo with me back in the day. Moments like that are pure gold.
So often it is difficult to see the growth from each rep that gets put in. There are seemingly no gains for quite a while when putting in work towards a long term goal. At some point enough momentum is created and the entire wheel seems to turn almost effortlessly. So easy to see the final pushes and credit them for the success, but more accurate to look at each rep that came before it as equals to the last.
This afternoon I was able to see the breakthrough. Honestly, I was quite surprised! Once I realized what had happened I looked back and saw I had taken so many more reps than I thought, they’d all blended together in my memory until I paused to focus on them.
When working towards a long term goal stay on target with the minor details and menial tasks. Stay focused, stay consistent, and trust the process. The breakthrough will come as a result of all the repetitions.
Appreciation:
My task list for the week is extensive but all with end of the week deadlines. I started on one of the larger projects today and cruised right past the finish line I’d set for myself for the day on it. My thought was to hit a certain point and then move on to the next project. Instead I went with the flow I was in and just kept rolling. Rather than switching gears I was able to keep the momentum going and accelerate through the end of the work day. Tomorrow I’ll head back to the other stuff on my list.
What I’m really thankful for is the awareness to know when I’m in the flow and able to keep rolling AND for working ahead on almost all of the other projects so I have the flexibility to stay on one task longer.
Presence:
I got myself a new office “toy” for my standing desk. My balance board arrived today and I’m already in love! Standing on it and attempting to balance brought me 100% into the present moment as I felt all of my foot, leg, and core muscles working and twitching to keep myself upright. Talk about a great sensation! My right achilles has been bothering my a little lately and the time on the board helped loosen it right up.
I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve watched the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. Sometime around the holidays it ends up getting played in our house, just like clockwork. Each time I start to watch I kind of groan a bit and halfheartedly look for a distraction. Tonight Becky fired it up and I found myself gravitationally pulled towards the living room to watch it with her. Even though we didn’t finish the movie tonight due to a band concert it seemed worthy to write my blog tonight around the theme of It’s a Wonderful Life.
Growth:
No one steps in the same river twice. Today I was reminded of how the same concepts land differently with the changes lived through life. There were different spots resonating more deeply than ever before, just as other things had done in each of the past viewings. What I’m impressed by most is the ability of the movie to capture so many common emotions at so many different levels. Each time watching it is like a whole new experience
Appreciation:
As mentioned above there’s always something a little different that hits home each time I watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Based on a handful of reasons I’ll keep to myself on this one I was almost sobbing she I caught this short scene…
What incredibly powerful words those are below the picture of Pa Bailey. The words are never spoken, just shown in the bottom corner of the screen for only a few seconds, and can be so easily missed. Blended with emotions building over the past couple of weeks and my mind and heart have been stuck on this concept all night. What a gift this movie still gives after more than 75 years. A dozen words, a lifetime of wisdom.
All you can take with you is that which you give away.
Presence:
There’s something special about sharing emotions and tears with a spouse / significant other / loved one. More than once we both sniffled together and caught each other looking to the other for emotional support and validation of our shared feelings. Knowing that we are in tune with each other at such a deep emotional level is a profoundly powerful sensation.
Thankful for Forty 