As I’ve started reading Montaigne by Stefan Zweig there’ve been so many little nuggets of wisdom I’ve filed away to reflect on in the future. This one in particular struck me with the current state of affairs in our society / nation / world.
I do not subscribe to this communal error of judging a man according to the way I perceive things.
Stefan Zweig, Montaigne
Appreciation:
Today was an awesomely productive day, a nonstop high speed thrill ride of errands, projects, and other assorted tasks. For sure, it was a day largely full of adulting, but all in a very positive way. Funny how I used to look forward to days with nothing to do but sit on the couch and watch football, now I find days like this to be so much more rewarding and fulfilling!
This has been a bit of an ongoing theme over the past few days. Looking at several years ago when I would take Friday off for Oktoberfest and have too many beers, now I had the perfect Friday off thanks for knocking out a 15 mile hike and then spent the evening at Gavin’s football game. So much more rewarding and fulfilling than how I lived life a ways back. For sure, it wasn’t anything crazy or out of control, but even just the difference in scenery this year is so much more my style and my jam.
As I keep typing and thinking about this, I guess that’s what I am most grateful for today… a better understanding of or maybe a better awareness of what brings me the most joy and leads me towards my purpose AND then choosing it and enjoying it even if that path isn’t quite as relaxing as the other.
Presence:
Spending time in the workshop with Gavin as we built a fixture to help him cut lumber for his Eagle project was a blast! So grateful for the father son time up in the workshop – full of jokes, talks, coaching, teaching, and creating. The time we spent there and in working on his project today was a wonderful way to spend the day! Projects like that with him cause time to fly and memories to be made.
This is it, tonight’s post marks the 3,652nd straight day of blogging about at least one thing I am grateful for – one full decade of daily gratitude blogging is complete! So crazy that I can still remember the very first day of blogging and how I hoped to keep it going for one year (or at least a few months).
Taking time to pause real life to focus on what I am thankful for has had a more profound positive impact on my life than I ever initially thought it could. This process has helped me through incredibly difficult times (like Dad’s sudden and very unexpected death). This process has helped me better appreciate the incredibly excellent times (like all the milestones with Becky and the boys). This process has also helped me be so much more thankful for all of the ordinary days filled with work, yoga, outside time, and whatnot. Had it not been for this ongoing effort to be more intentionally thankful there are so many moments I would have missed or at least missed the deeper meaning of.
Each day the focus on appreciation shifts the filter of my brain as I know each day I will be accountable to myself for blogging about something I am grateful for, this means each of my mornings start off with the question, “what am I going to be thankful for today?” That subtle behavior shift causes me to start looking for the upside in everything right off the bat.
Throughout the past decade I’ve also unintentionally created a journal of my life. Stories I would have potentially forgotten have been recorded to go back to, to remind me of so many of the simple treasures in life. Taking time to go back and read them reminds me of where I’ve been, remind me of lessons to remember, and bring back so many smiles.
This daily process has also helped me learn what is truly important in life. “Stuff” doesn’t bring joy, enjoying what we already have does. The concept of joy being “wanting what we have rather than having what we want” has become so clear to me. The more I am grateful for what I have the more I realize the less I actually need. Quite often the introduction of that which I do not need leads to additional stress and anxiety, certainly the opposite of joy.
The more I’ve blogged the more I realize how much I appreciate time with Becky and my boys, spending time with outdoors in motion, taking in the simple moments of stillness in life. A good book, an emotion provoking song, a sweaty yoga session, a hike. Even writing – something I never enjoyed before this blog – has become one of my sanctums of joy. My joy doesn’t come from shiny things, from approval of others, or status and achievement, rather it comes from appreciating time with my family, time alone in thought, and all the splendor and beauty of the natural world.
This daily process, this time for daily reflection, has become a cornerstone of who I am. It has helped me work on closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. This daily gratitude journaling has helped me become a more joyful me.
Cheers to the first decade of this daily appreciation process, and I look forward to decades to come!
Remember to put intentionality into where I spend my time. Minutes, hours, and days slip by so quickly if I don’t pause and consider whether I’m intentionally using the them the right way. Stay focused on my goals – both long and short term – and act accordingly with urgency. Don’t let it slip away.
One day, my father, he told me, “Son, don’t let it slip away” He took me in his arms, I heard him say “When you get older, your wild heart will live for younger days Think of me if ever you’re afraid”
Avicii, The Nights
Appreciation:
Along the lines of remembering what is important – I am especially grateful for taking action to do just that today! Between scheduling a weekend for camping with a lifelong friend, choosing to be present and moving early in the morning, taking time to shut down everything except playing a game with Gavin, being focused and present in a conversation with Dominic on Facetime, being there for others as needed, and planning ahead for an adventure (maybe two) I spent a lot of time on working towards where I want to be going, on my purpose, and towards my dreams. Here’s to a day that was largely focused on moving forward with intentionality with a whole lot of fun in the now throughout!
Presence:
Taking the time to go for a five mile walk to start off the morning is always the right answer (unless I’m either running or hiking or yoga is an option). Getting up and getting moving, spending time without a phone or a screen, alternating between interacting with Becky and letting my thoughts drift. It’s almost a walking meditation, letting go of everything else and living exclusively in the now.
Regardless of the decisions I’ll make throughout the rest of the day I know I started the right way, I chose action, and I chose moving stillness.
So often all we need is all around us, it is up to us to LISTEN for the answer. I was caught off guard while re-reading one of my favorite books today. They very briefly hit upon the concept of “Assuming positive intent,” and the profoundly positive impact this can have on our lives and interactions.
Rather than immediately assuming “the other side” is trying to destroy our nation/world what if we instead paused and considered their actions/words from the starting point of assuming positive intent. Why are they responding as they are? What is the underlying issue leading them down this path? Quite often it is likely similar to our own reasons – just executed differently. If we assume positive intent we can more easily listen to understand rather than listen to prove wrong.
This will be in the forefront of my mind – assume positive intent before being so quick to judge.
Appreciation:
Part way through my drive up north this morning I realized I needed some music therapy for my soul. I like to utilize my drive time as learning time, focusing on how to improve myself with what could so easily be dead time rather than alive time. I feel more productive when I spend the time filling my brain with ideas, pausing to digest and consider what I’ve learned.
This morning I needed to spend some time in quiet calm, listening to music to relax my mind and soul. It was time for some therapy, some rejuvenation. I found it in music. For almost half an hour I went from song to song to soak up the energy I needed to feel recharged and ready for the day.
By the time I got to the office my head and heart were in the right palce to dive in and make a positive impact.
Presence:
With so much discontent and anger and hate and divisiveness in our world I found sanctuary and solace in M83’s song Outro.
While driving to the Eau Claire office this morning I almost had to pull the car over as I was completely overcome with the emotion of pure love and connectedness with all people and all creation while this song reached its crescendo.
Pause your life, shut everything else off, turn on this song, close your eyes, and feel the love and connection you have with all people. I hope you will be moved as I was – awakened in the love of the connections we all share.
When it is my time to go this song (from 1:30 on) will be the last music my soul plays before moving on. Beautiful, breathtaking.
Day 3,632 (Crazy to think that it will be a DECADE of daily blogging in only 22 days!)
There is so much to unpack from today, but it is all pretty simple in the overall concept… This was pretty much the perfect weekend day. So much happening, so many moments of presence, reminders of appreciation throughout, lots of personal connection, and so many nuggets of learning mixed in.
Maybe the best way to run this one out is to go with a list kind of day. Additionally, this format provides me an opportunity to walk back through the day in a little more full detail and enjoy it all a second time 😉
The morning started off with a mug full of some amazing coffee. Scratch that, it started off with the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee while I laid in bed as Becky had gotten up before me and worked her magic.
Breakfast was a couple of slices of cold pizza leftover from last night – glorious!
To kick off the morning Becky found a hysterical video which caused me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes. Short and sweet, but nice starting the day with a good belly laugh like that!
Becky and I packed up for hiking and a trip to Eau Claire to watch Dominic’s rugby scrimmage. As we got rolling she recommended we fire up a podcast she had recently listened to. The Ologies podcast has been one of her recent go to’s and this episode was focused specifically on the science of happiness. Here were some of the key takeaways and moments of a-ha’s!
The concept of “Time Affluence,” the sense of having enough time, is a critical component of happiness. This really hit home with how I feel amazing on days like today (very limited structure) and I feel almost claustrophobic on days when I am planning out my next few weeks.
Choosing to view ourselves Objectively rather than Relatively. Consider the studies of happiness levels of someone who won the silver medal versus the bronze medal. The bronze medalist is almost always smiling much bigger than the silver medalist who often looks sad and disappointed. Consider that we are really good at something or that we really enjoyed something, don’t compare it to what others do or what they have. Look internally for happiness.
Are we happy both “in our life” and “with our life”? Are we happy in the moment of what we are doing in life? Are we happy with where our life is going towards a purpose? Both are important and and not always related (and sometimes can almost be at odds with each other).
Awareness, awareness, awareness! Step outside of ourselves and observe how we are reacting to something, consider why we are reacting that way. Don’t observe with the intent of changing or correcting, rather, observe to understand more fully. We can’t fix what we are not aware of.
I’d 100% recommend this podcast to anyone looking to add a little extra joy to their lives (that should be all of us, right?). Check out the episode we listened to here: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/eudemonologyencore
The conversations Becky and I got into while listening to the podcast and after the podcast were engaging and insightful. So appreciative to be in love with a fellow lifelong learner!
Our hike in Perot was soooooo chill! The weather was perfect, the trails were quiet, so much to observe and take in all around us. Everything was so green it was awesome! The feel of hiking on a fall day is something I will never tire of. Hiking with Becky and joking, talking, and walking in silence, all exactly what I needed.
While on the hike I was reminded of an adventure Steve and I went on kayaking on the Black River a while back, it may have spurred on ideas to attempt it again.
Dominic’s rugby scrimmage was so much fun to watch! He was one of the starters and got quite a few opportunities to impact the game on both offense and defense. So much fun watching him do something he loves.
During the game I was able to make a quick sprint and caught a ball way out of bounds. I know, super cheesy, but it was so much fun to enjoy the fleeting moment of feeling like I was almost in the game, almost a kid again. Super minor, but such a blast regardless!
A handful of Dominic’s friends from high school came to the match to cheer him on. They hung out with Becky and I throughout the game and we shot the bull the entire time. so much fun seeing the kids we used to see often grow into the men they have become. I swear each age of our son’s and their friends has somehow continued to be better than the year before.
Our ride back was so chill, the dog was absolutely toast from all the hiking and excitement. We stopped by the apple orchard, grabbed some apples, ciders, and maybe a caramel apple pie or two. So nice being outside and having a little mini date with the two of us. Fresh apples off the tree… so deelish!
At the grocery store we saw a mom with two small kids which brought back fond memories for us as well as a little laugh as we saw reminders of the happiness podcast concepts in her expression.
Gavin was home from his volunteer work and was in an awesomely talkative mood. We shot the bull for a while and then the and I continued the conversation at Dick’s as we picked up a knee brace for him. We may have also had some bonus fun dreaming up a home gym and pricing it out while we were there. Great one on one time with him, nice to have such fun conversation with him.
I got a little bonus time to make a quick fix on the grill as it warmed up. Nothing crazy or difficult, but just enough to feel like I got to problem solve, work with my hands, and be productive. A nice little chill moment.
There were a couple of awesome brother moments that don’t need detail. Long story short, I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love my brother and how grateful I am for the relationship my sons have with each other.
Grilling brats, drinking a hard cider, joking with the family. Throw in eating out of my grandma’s old stainless steel bowls from the 1950’s and it was a wonderful dinner outside on the deck!
Game night was fun (even though Gavin destroyed Becky and I in both Catan and Skipbo), another evening spent around the kitchen table, one of my favorite places in the world. The addition of caramel apple pie with vanilla caramel ice cream was a banger!
As we wrapped up the night Gavin and I fired up a movie. Sitting on the couch and taking it in we were both making comments on what we appreciated about it. I also look forward to knowing we’ll bring it up in conversation on again off again for the better part of a week or two, reminding us of that time together. Nice and chill to wrap things up.
Typing this blog has only increased the size of my smile today! Crazy to see all that happened appear as words on my screen. Each memory has brought back a smile and jogged my memory on other things I was grateful for. This daily thought practice has been proven over and over again over the past ten years to help me sleep with a focus on good stuff in life so much more than the frustrating.
Whew!!! What a day!!! Seriously, so many moments of joy throughout the day. I grew. I appreciated. I was present. Throw all of those together with the connections with those I love and it was pretty epic. To all who played a part in my today, thank you!!!
All great transformations in life start with a very simple step, the awareness of a gap between who we are and who we could be.
If we don’t have awareness we don’t realize how badly we could use the change. We are don’t know that there’s a gap, a place to grow into. This can be such a frustrating moment, unhappy and not seeing a better path forward. We can even begin to feel helpless, constantly fighting against the tide.
Once we have the moment of awareness we can move forward, but can also feel so daunting or impossible. The gap may be significantly larger than we’d thought, possibly on the border of impossible. In its own way, this can be almost more demoralizing than not having awareness as it seems profoundly difficult to grasp.
Once we have the moment of awareness, once we can see across the chasm of where we are versus where we are we should be, we need to put our heads down and focus only on the single footstep ahead. See that spot twelve inches in front of us, will our foot to lift, our leg to move forward, and the foot comes down. One small step, but the greatest step after awareness – the first step! Celebrate it!!! We’ve made our trip across the gap a little shorter AND now we know we have the strength to take a step.
Now take another step, then another. Slow but steady progress, gaining momentum. You’ve got this. After s dozen or so steps look up to make sure you’re still headed the right way, and then head back down and focus on the twelve inches in front of you. In seemingly no time you will make significant progress.
All that progress, all started with a moment of awareness, all started with one tiny and small step.
Over the past 3,424 days I’ve taken tiny steps daily, pausing to reflect on what I appreciate. Each day is one tiny step forward, motion towards closing the gap.
Today I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me to pause and appreciate the momentum I’ve built over the past nine plus years. As I reflect on the journey my mind is blown. This all started with the awareness that I was not happy, in so many ways I felt empty, like a fraud, unsatisfied, always in pursuit of more. I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. Awareness came first, the awareness of unhappiness and a gigantic gap on the other side of which was full of joy. I wanted to cross. It seemed impossible, but I took one step. And the another. And then more which led to today. The gap is still there, but I’ve made progress.
Awareness, action. One small step at a time leads to profound growth over years.
Appreciation:
Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to quit. When I get in those funks they can be difficult to get out of. What I’ve found interesting recently is that every time I have felt this way recently I find that the reason for the frustration is something well under my control, something I have the ability to change. I just have pause, breathe, zoom out, look at the situation from afar, have awareness, give myself grace to be frustrated, and then change it.
Today there were several moments in which I saw clearly I was in a perfect position to live into my purpose, to live towards the goal which brings me the most joy and fulfillment, which almost can’t help but pull me across the gap to where I should be.
To all those who brought me a smile, warmed my soul, reminded me of purpose, and helped in so many ways to get out of my own way while simultaneously helping to guide me back to the right path – thank you. Today was a beautiful day, a +2 day, thanks to you!
Presence:
This morning I had a tight deadline for a client. It would be just enough time, but not so much I could take my time. As luck would have it Dominic happened to send a text “Some great hype up songs for your day!” His timing was impeccable. I closed my door, put in my noise canceling AirPods, and proceeded to “massage” my ear drums with wave after wave of excellent music. My field of vision narrowed to only the project and I truly crushed it. With only fifteen minutes to spare I took out the AirPods, inhaled deeply and let it roll in my chest, and turn exhaled slowly as I punched the Send button.
An hour or two of being in a total state flow, consumed by the task at hand without distraction. Glorious!
Think through the entire project before committing too much time to any specific solution. Today’s projects included getting our WiFi router moved to a better location and I wasted more time than I care to admit on something which was quickly negated by the electrical outlet being on a switch rather than always being on. Lesson learned, think through and test it all first, then commit resources to it.
Appreciation:
Two different yet similar moments today which blended.
First was a walk Becky and I took in the woods this morning, a peaceful moment of completely stillness enjoying being outside. This moment was captured so well in this pic, there was almost no movement in the water, just a mirror reflecting nature and the heavens.
Second was an instrumental piece at church which was so hauntingly beautiful it almost brought me to tears. Closing my eyes I could feel the entire Universe wrap around me with love like a warm blanket on a cold day. It was so powerful and soul warming.
Two very different moments of stillness, two moments in which I could feel so close to God. In those moments of quiet stillness our heart is free to hear everything so much more clearly.
Presence:
Gotta love the unexpected moments caught on video. Today we were cutting down our Christmas tree and I wanted a quick selfie of Becky and I. We just happened to catch this gem!
After sawing most of the way through the tree Gavin decided to put his football skills to work 😂
Going in a slightly different direction today, had a big thing in my head throughout much of day that is calling to be unleashed. The idea of having less, but more.
One of the reasons I love traveling to other countries is to experience the differences in cultures. Almost universally it seems that other countries seem to have less, but more at the same time.
Iceland is possibly the best at showing me a very realistic step or two back from where I currently am. Backpacking does an impeccable job of reminding me how little I actually need, but it is so transcendent from where I currently am that it seems sustainable in only short-ish doses. Iceland splits the distance between where I normally live and where I could be backpacking and inspires a sustainable lifestyle adjustment.
Take the Icelandic grocery stores as an insight. There are only a small handful of cereals to choose from. The soda / soft drink section contains less than a dozen options. The entire store is so much smaller than in the US.
The homes we’ve been renting are rather simple. This last of the four was one of only two with a television. There isn’t much variety of anything, all four have had a mix of the same furniture, silverware, and whatnot. Not just similar, but exactly the same. All the homes have been very small, yet they have everything we need.
For sure, this is definitely a first world realization, there are so many who don’t have what they need. Many would be ecstatic for what I’ve experienced here. What’s interesting is that I feel as if I would be too, but for very different reasons.
How much more simple would life be with less? How much emotional energy and thought is wasted on decisions over which things we need? How much happier would I be with less? How much more grateful would I be for what I have rather than catching myself wanting more and feeling miserable as a result?
We really need very little to live a joyful life. My visit has really helped me see more clearly how easy it would be to have less – less choices, less stuff, less options. For sure, certainly not less freedom, rather the willpower to remind myself much less I need.
As I look ahead to my annual personal planning I am seeing I may have found a very fitting and appropriate theme for myself in 2025, one inspired by my trip to Iceland.
Less, but more.
Less stuff, less unnecessary stress, less running in different directions, less goals, less…. but more. More life, more of what is important, more joy, more gratitude, and more fulfillment.
Continue to invest in experiences to create “memory dividends” over buying “stuff!” My buddy, Mike, turned me on to Bill Perkins and his concept of investing in experiences which create meaningful memories which pay dividends many times over throughout our lives. So many additional smiles and so much bonus joy came from savoring memories today! Experiences like travel are truly the gifts that keep on giving!
Appreciation:
In going along with the above, I’m beyond appreciative of the trips we’ve made to Iceland. The topic of Iceland came up on a few separate occasions today and the last inspired a trip down memory lane through photos from our times there. I can’t begin to put into words what a beautiful country it is, and I’ve only seen less than a third of it!
Iceland appears in my dreams so frequently – both while I’m asleep and awake. So grateful for the experiences I have shared there and looking forward to going back in the not too distant future.
Presence:
This morning’s run had a special guest star, a gigantic and spectacularly dark orange moon slowly sinking into the bluffs. On our way out we got to watch it slowly drift down to the horizon as it continued to grow in size. Almost every breath taken on the first half of our run was pointed towards the majestic sight on my left. As we neared our turn around point it slipped behind a group of trees and looked like a supernatural fire glowing in the distance. Such wondrous beauty to start the day!
I’m a slow but sure learner sometimes. Over the past handful of vacations I always plan on organizing my photos and videos but it often doesn’t happen. This means that while there’s a pile of memory starters there is also a big pile of near duplicate photos to be deleted.
On our flight back today I focused on cleaning up my photos. They’re all sorted by day, in chronological order, and with the near duplicates and photo fails deleted. Took some songs today but will save a ton of time in the future.
Appreciation:
One of the biggest reasons for heading to Iceland was to see the Northern Lights. The odds of doing so are spotty at best, even in the best of conditions. The clouds fought us the majority of the nights and when it was clear the Aurora Borealis was too shy and stayed away.
Last night while sitting in the hot tub I pulled up the forecast as we looked up at the stars. According to the Aurora app we had an exactly 1% chance of seeing them. Steve laughed and quoted the line from Dumb & Dumber, “so you’re saying there’s a chance!”
After some games we all started to close out our nights. On a whim I decided to walk outside and check one more time. As I turned to the north I was rewarded with a ribbon of light rippling across the sky. I ran inside, grabbed Gavin & Steve, and headed out to enjoy the show.
The really big lights didn’t last very long and some clouds moved in, but we’d accomplished our goal and beaten the 1 in 100 odds.
My dreams were very intense afterwards. Much of it was a reminder to me of the dangers of taking on too much. It reminded me of the importance of saying no more often, of slowing down, and remembering to stay focused on what’s really important to me. It was so intense I woke up in a sweat at 4:41 am.
When I got up I looked out my window and was so shocked at what I saw I didn’t trust myself to wake everyone right away. I quietly snuck out of the house and saw tendrils of light stretching through the night!
I woke everyone up and we spent well over an hour in astonishment and joy watching the lights. We took photos, we just looked up in awe, and enjoyed every single minute until it started to dwindle. I’m still awestruck at what we witnessed.
I am so grateful for our luck and our timing.
Presence:
Last night and again early this morning as we watched the Northern Lights there was a very specific moment I’ll remember forever. Amongst the spectacular light show Gavin put an arm around me and pulled me in close. “We did it! Thanks for bringing me to Iceland!” You betcha buddy, happy to have created these memories with you.
Thankful for Forty 