Thankful for The Only Thing We Control, an Awesome Day, & Snowshoeing on a Saturday

Day 3,428

Growth:

Today has been a powerful reminder of why I write each day. It’s a practice of reflection—an opportunity to process my experiences, thoughts, and emotions, helping me bridge the gap between who I am and who I strive to be.

When someone lets us down or disappoints us, we have a choice in how we respond. I often find myself oscillating between anger, frustration, apathy, and sadness. But the interesting thing is this: my reaction is entirely up to me.

If we strip away our initial emotions, most disappointments come down to a simple fact—someone took an action they believed was right. Few people intentionally choose to do the wrong thing. The action itself is neutral; it’s neither good nor bad until we assign meaning to it.

Let that sink in for a moment. The action itself is neutral. We are the ones who apply context, emotion, and judgment. And in doing so, we determine our response. Yes, their action may be the opposite of what we wanted or expected, but our reaction? That’s entirely ours to own.

Anthony de Mello captures this truth beautifully in Awareness:

“I have no right to make any demands of you.

I have no right to make any demands of you. Oh, I’ll protect myself from the consequences of your actions or moods or whatever, but you can go right ahead be what you choose to be.

I have no right to make any demands of you.”

Anthony de Mello

At the end of the day, the only thing we truly control is our response. People will act in ways we disagree with. They will frustrate us. They will disappoint us. But they are free to do so. Their actions only gain meaning when we apply it.

Marcus Aurelius offers another timeless insight:

“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.”

The choice is mine. Someone else may take an action I dislike, but it’s up to me whether I let it disrupt my peace. I can let it roll off. I can take steps to prevent it from happening again. I can move forward. Or, I can choose frustration and dwell in emotions that serve no purpose.

I choose to move forward.

Why waste time and energy longing for a different outcome when I never had control over it in the first place? Instead, I’ll choose focus. I’ll choose resilience. I’ll choose to protect my energy and not let frustration steal moments I can never get back.

Time is finite. Breath is precious. I won’t waste them in frustration.

Appreciation:

One of the reasons I enjoy blogging is the ability to reflect upon the entirety of the day rather than dwelling on just one or two specific incidents. As I started typing this section I paused and ran through the day from start to end and I couldn’t help but smile at so many positives and moments I am grateful for today!

  • Waking up to the aroma of coffee, a delicious coffee Becky picked up in her recent yoga retreat.
  • Seeing a text come across my phone early in the morning saying, “Pulled a Kreiling and went hiking before the sun was up this morning, just me and the dog!”
  • Stepping on the scale and seeing more progress than expected.
  • Shoveling snow with Becky while listening to great music, getting lost in the fresh air, movement, and tunes.
  • Growing through a challenging situation.
  • Getting to the grocery store on a Saturday only to find it relatively empty.
  • Sticking to my guns with my weekly goals and preventing temptation.
  • Seeing a video of Gavin setting his new bench press PR and hearing about how much fun he had with his teammates.
  • Hearing about Dominic’s rugby scrimmage and hearing the excitement in his texts.
  • So much outside time snowshoeing with Becky! More on that below.
  • Making progress on my checklist for the weekend and prepping my meals for next week.
  • Trading awesome texts with good friends.
  • Playing cards with Becky and Gavin after dinner, laughing, and joking, enjoying our time together.
  • Taking way more time than expected writing this blog, reflecting on the day, learning and growing.

All in all, it’s been a pretty awesome day, one made better as a result of taking time to type my blog.

Presence:

There was enough snow for snowshoeing today and we took full advantage of it! We headed out to Great River Bluffs State Park and spent time snowshoeing through fresh and untrodden snow. The fresh air, the untouched snow, and the un-hiked trails all led to an incredibly invigorating experience. Such a perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Using Tech Correctly, the Deck I Built with Dad, & Hiking (again)

Day 3,346

Growth:

Technology can really help us build connections when used correctly. Today we were able to FaceTime with each of the boys, yesterday we did the same with all four of us at the same time, even though we’re in different states and continents currently! Gavin was able to share pictures and jokes via our favorite social media messenger app. Throughout the day Dominic, Gavin, and I shared music we each enjoyed. Gavin sent all of us pics of all the sights he has seen in Germany. Becky and I used technology the right way for us while hiking, we shut it off completely and enjoyed conversation without electronics. When used the right way (and turned off often), what a gift technology is!

Appreciation:

This afternoon I was removing some old boards form our deck. It was build by Dad and I about twenty years ago and one of my projects for next year is to build a new deck. As I started taking it apart this afternoon I couldn’t help but think back often to the time I spent with Dad building it in the first place. I initially felt a little sad about taking apart something we’d built together, but I quickly realized that what we built together many years ago was not what I was taking apart now. This was only the deck, old beaten up and weathered boards. What we’d built back then were poignant memories of working together, of enjoying each other’s company, and of spending time with each other. The boards may be removed, but the memories not be erased.

So many moments of learning to work together as we built that deck! We learned about how much wood we could actually load into his pickup. We then found out that there was a weird policy at the store we bought it from and one of us had to stay with half the load while the other delivered the first load, unloaded it at the house, and then drove back. I personally learned why it is not a good idea to pull out too rapidly with a truck bed full of decking materials. Dad learned how much he would have appreciated having a cell phone to figure out what was taking me so long to come back for the second load as I was re-loading the lumber into the truck from off the pavement in a somewhat busy road. As you can imagine, as we traded stories afterwards we laughed and laughed! What wonderful memories the entire project was!

The things we build with our hands will eventually age and turn into dust and ash. The time we spend with loved ones making memories will burn in our souls forever.

Presence:

I kind of feel like this is becoming a bit of a broken record, but getting outside and hiking the trails with Becky to start off the day is pretty epic! Nothing quite like the fresh air and exercise while enjoying the views from the bluffs. Certainly my happy place, the trails. A couple of specific moments really stuck out. Standing atop Miller’s Bluff and taking in the view of the city below and river, woods, and bluff surrounding. Catching a spectacular fall scent form the leaves, almost a spicy old cigar box kind of smell (you gotta trust me, it is a wonderful aroma!). Throw in focused time with Becky and I talking as we hike and I couldn’t ask for much more than that!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Reminder to Bring Others In, a Belated Father’s Day Gift, & Beyond the Pines

Thankful for a Reminder to Bring Others In, a Belated Father’s Day Gift, & Beyond the Pines

Day 3,183

Growth:

This afternoon I had an awesomely in depth conversation with my friend, Brian, on the topics of leadership and life. Initially he had reached out with a question, but I quickly found he was helping me find answers to questions and feelings I’ve had over the past year. What was especially insightful to me was his willingness to open up and share so much, he just shared where he was at. His openness was truly inspiring. As I reflect on the conversation I can’t help but realize he summed up my awe in a follow up text.

Life feels different when you bring others in!

Brian B

How often do I carry the burden myself rather than sharing it? When am I too nervous about how others may view me to share how I am really doing and thinking? Why do I sometimes struggle to ask for help when I am in need of it? One would think I would know better by age 47, heck, I even wrote about this very topic in my book about losing Dad!

Today I’m very grateful for the reminder to open up, to share my heart openly, and to bring others in. We all have so much in common and we can all help lighten each other’s loads. Thank you for a conversation I needed more than I imagined today Brian!

Appreciation:

Due to our vacation my sons held back on giving me a Father’s Day gift until this evening. There is no question it was well worth the wait! Not gonna lie, there may have been a little bit of awesome leaking out of my eyes as I took it in and read the quote they added.

It was a map of the world, complete with pins of all the places I’ve been – and color coded based on who was with on the trip. In the bottom left corner was one of my all time favorite quotes by Jim Valvano, one I used in my blog the Father’s Day less than a week after Dad passed away.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Jim Valvano

Throw in some very heartfelt and handcrafted Father’s Day cards from the boys and I was definitely feeling the love. Between the boys and Becky it was quite the way to lead into the weekend!

In addition to the initial fun of the gift we all got an epic bonus present… time to dream as a family as we looked at all the spaces without pins and started dreaming up some additional crazy ideas and plans for the future. Just a hunch, but I’d bet on a trip to a little place called Mount Kilimanjaro at some point in the not too distant future 😉

Thank you Becky and the boys for making me extra loved for a belated Father’s Day, I’m beyond blessed to ahve you each in my life!!!

Presence:

There’s a moment, maybe better put as a series of moments, from our time in Sequoia National Park which has been with me often in the past week. As we walked the trail amongst the massive sequoias I wandered in awe of the enormity of the titans towering over me. My mind and soul struggled to comprehend all they had experienced in the two to three THOUSAND years of life on earth.

While walking among them one of my favorite songs came to mind and played on repeat. Beyond the Pines by Thrice is a song I’ve blogged about a little over a year ago (you can check out the post here or the lyric video of the song here).

The lyrics which have resonated the most are these:

Somewhere down the road is a place that we can go where everyone
And everything is divine
And when we’re all awake, we can finally make and end of these
Divisions in our minds

Far beyond those walls, gleaming black and white
Further than our false schemes of wrong and right
Is a field where we can walk
Leaving all our names behind

I will meet you there, beyond the pines

Thrice, Beyond the Pines

The feeling of hiking in the giant sequoias felt like I was walking in heaven, in paradise. There was zero stress or need or frustration, only awe and peace and gratitude and joy and love. How much more joyful and full of love would our world be if we all took time to go “beyond the pines” once in a while? To pause, breathe in the fresh pine scented air, feel the cool breeze on our face, and look in awe at the wondrous gifts the world has been given?

This is the specific tree I would like to have some of my ashes scattered at when my time is complete, it is marked in my Garmin Earthmate GPS as “Perfect Seq-MK ash” It was the most perfect and beautiful sequoia I saw on our trip to Sequoia National Park, and it was just far enough off the busiest paths to have the eternal quiet I would liek to enjoy.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Glimpses of the Power of Purpose

Day 2,054

As I prep for bed and conduct my daily ritual of blogging my mind is going in a couple of different directions for my blog. There are a few distinct appreciations which all seem to flow into a common theme. Just a heads up, this is all going to sound familiar as the path is one I’ve traveled recently.

Starting my morning yesterday with an early morning hike with Becky was outstanding. To share time in the woods with her while we both take in the sights, sounds, and smells of the outdoors is something I enjoy immensely. Amongst all I do in life this type of activity hovers continually near the top. Not only does it provide moments of awe and wonder leading to extreme presence, but I get to share it with my best friend and soulmate. Doing what we love while sharing in that love together is something I do not take for granted. We are so fortunate to have the common love and appreciation of nature. Those times together hiking the trails, whether exploring a new to us National Park or wandering the same old trail for the ten thousandth time, are one of the ways I re-charge, refresh, and refill my reservoir of energy. By taking that time to the two of us I have the strength and energy to live into my sense of purpose and am much more likely to live more closely into the person I am called to be – it helps me work on the gap. All the while my heart is filled with tremendous joy.

This morning I spent a lot of time with a teammate I haven’t had a ton of one on one time with. The entire experience was incredibly enlightening as well as a ton of fun. I was able to learn so much about her, hear about her motivations, her dreams, and her story. Throughout I kept thinking about how this was exactly where I was supposed to be at that time. Hearing her share her experiences helped me see how we’ve made progress towards living into our purpose while simultaneously providing an opportunity to dream a bigger and better vision of what living that purpose could look like. It was a conversation which will leave lasting fingerprints on our future.

During the day there was a moment in which I took a couple of actions which I would have most likely skipped in the past. Before I could help myself I was leaping into action and unaware of moving myself outside of my comfort zone. The action itself was taken because it was necessary based on purpose, on our why. So many times in the past I’ve taken action more for ego’s sake, if I’m completely honest with myself. This time was 100% for the cause, to protect the purpose. I was reminded afterwards of a comment from Tribal Leadership: the right purpose, the right reason, they work through us. This was a moment in which the purpose warranted action and action was taken immediately. Afterwards a passing conversation in an elevator showed me the importance of the action. Purpose caused necessary action which wouldn’t have otherwise happened.

Purpose, such a powerful thing. It is truly humbling, each time I feel like I’m understanding the power of purpose more I quickly realize how little about the power of purpose I truly know. Each time I start to get a glimpse I quickly see there is so much more than what I am getting a glimpse of. What a beautiful journey this has been and will continue to be!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for the Experiences of Starting the Day in the Woods

Day 2,047

Instead of our normal run I opted for waking up a little earlier than usual and went for a hike. The woods were dark when I entered but quickly started to lighten up. The weather was just about perfect and there was no one else on the trail when I started.

Just a little ways into the hike I encountered something I have never experienced. An owl started hooting loudly and almost immediately there was a response from another owl. The hooting then got more intense, more rapid, and higher pitched. There was just enough light that I could make out the shape of one owl flying towards another on a branch. Both owls spread their wings to increase the size and they were so close together I could not make out where one stopped and the other started. Within a second the one on the branch took off like a shot and the other took its place. The one that had flown was easily trackable against the dark blue pre-dawn sky and I watched as it settled into a new location. It was awesome!!! I could not believe the luck I had to see such an event.

I then walked up and down the valleys while listening to both the bird songs and their echoes. The sound bounced and resonated through the coulees and added a little extra beauty to the music. I was surprised to hear the changes in the types of birds as the minutes ticked by, it was almost like each species had their own alarms set.

Along the path I scared up a deer. He was well off the trail by the time I saw him. I slowed my pace and was rewarded with an encounter with two more deer, neither or which were startled. It seems as if they know there was no threat to them from me and we spent a few seconds just enjoying the sight of each other before I got back to my trail and they slowly walked and ate.

The woodpeckers all kicked in at about 5:35 and were going hardcore for a good 10-15 minutes. There were at least three different types based on what I saw and observed with their pecking patterns and sounds. A few times I just paused and watched them go to town on top of a dead tree, so entranced by watching them do what woodpeckers were made to do. I was lost in a state of awe watching their heads pile drive into the tree over and over again in rapid succession while also remembering that their tongues wrap around their brains to provide extra cushion. That’s legit, look it up 🙂

By the time I’d reached the top of the bluff and started heading down the sun was up and the woods were as light as ever. Thinking I had enjoyed pretty much all I would see I was left in quite the state of shock when I came across three different deer. They were also not at all spooked by me and took their time crossing the trail. We slowly watched each other as we went our separate ways, me descending, they heading up the bluff. In many ways it felt like going to church, seeing and acknowledging the people you know by sight and haven’t had a conversation with, but you’ve always both smiled at each other. We shared what seemed to be an acknowledgement of each others company, four beings enjoying the wonder of the woods.

My morning was so enriched by the time in the woods. The sights, the sounds, the smells, all of my senses except taste enjoyed the journey. Throughout the day there was a different level of calm I carried with me, a peace which can only be found by spending time in the woods.

I was so struck by it that I used my lunch time as an opportunity to hike a very short distance into the bluffs near my office, put up my hammock, relax and eat lunch, enjoy more of the woods, and then head back to the office in almost exactly 60 minutes. That extra dose of the outdoors time only enhanced my day further.

Late in the morning some friends were texting about current affairs and all I could do was laugh. I responded with a text sharing that I feel like I’m living in a different world and shared all I had seen in my morning hike. I can only imagine so many of the ills of our world would be slowly solved over generations if we all paused to get outside and experience a sense of awe in the outdoors. I know, I’m totally biased on this one, but there are so many wonderful benefits to being outside more often. This was proven to me multiple times today.

So many incredible experiences seemingly in my own backyard on an early morning hike. What a perfect way to start the day!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for a Beautiful Winter Run in the Spring and Making Maple Syrup

Day 2,028

This morning Becky and I went for our long training run for the week. When Becky picked our half marathon it was in the hopes of being able to get some nice trail runs in with some nice Spring weather. As we all know now, that hasn’t really been the case. Due to Mother Nature’s insistence on extending Winter we’ve had neither trail runs (too wet & muddy) nor nice weather (unless you really enjoy 20+ mph winds and temperatures below 20).

The run this morning started off ridiculously frigid as we ran directly into the stiff wind as the snow pelted us in the face. I, as the big dumb animal I sometimes am known to be, opted for shorts in this 20 degree weather which felt like 9 including wind chill. Not my brightest move. The first couple of miles were pretty rough.

Becky had the idea to take a gravel side road through the woods to cut down on the wind. We were immediately significantly warmer due to the woods breaking up the gusts of wind. The road we were on went alongside the Jump River intermittently and gave us some spectacular scenery. There were several turkeys, ducks, pheasants, and a pair of turkey vultures joining us occasionally. At one point Becky and I had a couple of horses in a field joining us from their side of the fence. Everything was so peaceful and chill, it was exactly why I enjoy getting into the woods. I was realizing how the “marathon monks” are really onto the right idea with the running meditations. My favorite part of the scenery was a specific bend in the Jump River. The woods opened up and the river was on full display with a high embankment on the other side making it feel a lot like being up in the UP of Michigan (which we’re really not that far from). It was awesome!

Yes, the weather and conditions were less than ideal. That said, as is the case with anything in life, it is up to each of us to choose where we put our focus and the lens through which we view the world around us. I chose to focus on the beauty of the outdoors, the time in the woods, and the appreciation of doing something out in the wild with Becky. Totally one of my favorite activities in the world.

After we got back and showered up I had an opportunity to help my in laws make maple syrup. They were kind enough to save about 50 gallons of sap to boil down specifically with us. The timing hasn’t worked out in the past for us to help and participate in this activity in the past, I was so pumped to help out this time around!

The entire process was incredible to experience. The time and energy it took to boil out all the water out of the sap to go from 50 gallons of sap to just over a gallon of syrup was wild! Throughout we took out samples, tested the sugar content, and kept the sap boiling. In addition to the fun of observing the process I got a ton of bonus time with my father in law, always something I appreciate. Having the opportunity to shoot the bull with him was awesome, he had me smiling and laughing the entire time. I can’t begin to put into words how much I appreciate my father in law, he’s amazing in so many ways!

Being able to say I helped to make syrup still has me smiling. Each time I gobble up some maple syrup I’ll be sure to remember all the work that goes into making it and will be even more grateful for everyone who made it for us.

Thanks!!!

Day 1,979 – Thankful for Creating Space in Nature in a City

I am currently sitting outside our hotel and convention center. If I look with my eyes there are people everywhere, buildings, concrete, fake grass, and palm trees with 2×4 board supports. Anything but being outside in nature. The smell of chlorine, food, and cigarette smoke linger in the air. The breeze blows the sounds of people talking, traffic, and rushing water from the water park towards me and into my ears.

I can choose to focus on this if I wish. If I choose nothing specific to put my attention towards they suffocate my senses. They lock me into a place I don’t find peace, the put me into a self selected purgatory of sorts.

I have made the choice to not see it, to not hear it, to not smell it. I am outside, under the sun, and in nature.

I close my eyes and think about my recent walk around the large pond. Though it may technically be a retaining pool it was a treasure trove of the outdoors for me. The only sounds I heard were those of turtles splashing into the water as I walked by, the wings of birds propelling themselves across the lake in search of fish, and the quiet stillness of the breeze. I don’t see the traffic on the nearby interstate, I choose to see all the miracles of nature in the water. So many birds, fish, and turtles. No gators like earlier in the day, but still so much to see.

I am thankful for the reminder today of how being out in nature is a mindset that is ours to choose and seek out, even when surrounded by people and in urban areas. It’s all a matter of intentionally choosing what I want to focus my thoughts and energy on.

Thanks!!!

Day 1,966 – Thankful for Camping with My Boys and Sleeping Outdoors, Even When It’s -5f

The temperature yesterday was a little chilly. The lowest I saw was -5 degrees with the windchill dropping the feel to about -16. A little cool, but nothing to get in the way of having a great time in the woods with my boys. We went for an outing with Scouts and the cold air only added to the fun and memorableness. We also learned a few lessons along the way, like the fact that butane tanks don’t like to stay pressurized in the extreme cold… and that the tanks can be warmed up to the right temperature by putting them against your chest inside a pair of bibs and jacket with a couple of hand warmers for about 15-20 minutes.

I’m always grateful for time in the woods with my family. Sharing my happy place with those I love is amongst my favorite activities. Whether camping, hiking, traveling, snowshoeing, running, or anything – time outside in nature with my family is always rewarding, even when the weather doesn’t cooperate or is less than ideal.

Last night we laughed, enjoyed time together, and stayed warm. While I rested in my solo tent with a double layer of tarps and a triple sleeping bag set up I kept smiling while listening to the laughing coming from the boys’ tent next to me. They were joking around and goofing off just the way kids are supposed to. Doing it outside in crazy weather made it all the more perfect. Times together like this will hopefully continue to instill a passion for time in the wilderness for both of them.

Not gonna lie, at one point it got so warm I had to unzip my sleeping bags and cool off!

Thanks!!!