Listen to and write down the random yoga thoughts that appear in the midst of the calm after the storm. So many wonderful nuggets of wisdom when the brain is completely open and present like that.
See the next section for my yoga thoughts from this evening… I’m grateful for taking the time to jot them down rather than let them slowly flutter and drift away.
Appreciation:
This evening what kept going through my brain in Final Rest was – be grateful for the test. The opportunity to be tested is an opportunity to grow, to find our strengths, and to make the most difficult of decisions… will we learn from the experiences which put us into the test in the first place and make a change or will we default to what we have always done, the same thing which has gotten us in this position in the first place. The test is an opportunity to prove our growth, to learn and adapt, and to better close the gap between who we are and who we should be.
Being tested is a gift, something we can be grateful for.
Presence:
One of the most presence filled moments today was also in yoga (hmm… kind of a Monday night trend). During our class we were moved into a deep squat with our feet out wide and toes pointed out. We were challenged to get as low as we could while holding our arms out in front of us. As we held that position for what felt like an eternity I dove deeper and deeper into my breath. I felt the ongoing trembles of my legs. As each breath came and went I focused more and more on the burn in my legs, my toes gripping my mat, the sweat running down my face, and my breath, my breath, and my breath. Honestly, I have no idea how long we held that for, but it felt like forever. When we then stood up the release was glorious – until we were told to drop right back down into the deep squat for another couple of breaths. Nonstop presence, felt amazing!
Over the past couple of years I’ve worked towards splitting my blog into three parts – Growth, Appreciation, and Presence – an homage of sorts to one of my first mentors who goes out of her way to find one thing that is beautiful each day. When I first learned of her practice it helped me see that I would benefit from finding one way I grew one thing I appreciated, and one moment of true presence each day. This practice has increased my awareness of those three categories more than expected and has led to growth through introspection.
That said, when I started blogging daily almost ten years ago I focused on one specific thing I was thankful for each day and I went deeper into that singular topic. Occasionally I had “list days” in which I had to go through an entire list of what I was grateful for as there seemed to be blessing after blessing after blessing. For sure, they weren’t all initially seen as “blessings,” some were very challenging moments in which I was able to grow, but they were moments that shaped and molded me, hence I was grateful for them even though they hurt. As another of my mentors once said, “‘Joy’ isn’t the same as happiness, and it is often the opposite of comfort.”
Lately I’ve been a fan of breaking the blog into smaller bite sized pieces as it provides the opportunity to not go too deep into too many categories, especially the ones I need to write about but don’t want to go deep into because they hurt. What’s interesting is that it is in exactly those moments in which I need to go a little deeper and work through my thoughts and emotions. In processing all of life, the blessings and the frustrations and the sufferings, gratitude helps transform all the experiences into growth. It is in that vein that I am opting to go “old school” tonight and dive a little deeper.
Whew – and that was all just the intro! 😉
Today has been a difficult day, one filled with emotion, one in which I can’t help but pause, take a step back, and feel incredibly discouraged. Due to compounding of mistakes and missteps there are challenges I need to face in business and they have a large impact. By the end of the work day I was feeling drained and questioning my ability to live into the purpose I feel called to live into, to brighten lives through shared experiences. In short, I was feeling like a failure. There were bright spots throughout the day to be sure, but the biggest challenge just kept pulling me down and it seemed to be the only place I could focus my attention. I felt defeated.
As I tried to put it behind me for the night and spend time focused on my family and being home I kept drifting back to that challenge. I could feel the weight of it on my shoulders and my soul.
Out of the blue I received a phone call from someone I had not spoken with in over four years. They were reaching out to ask me to be a reference for them as they considered a path towards a dream they want to live into. As we spoke they shared the positive impact I’d had on their life at a pivotal time. The thoughts and appreciation I shared for them helped them out with providing the right message at the right time and they are still grateful for that interaction. My eyes were watering up as they shared the positive impact I’d had. In a sentence, they shared that I had lived into my purpose – to brighten lives through shared experiences.
What a dichotomy! In one case I was feeling as if I was failing at my purpose, yet in the other I’d lived into it without intention. Two distinct moments of the day, both overshadowing all the rest, both focused on purpose, and yet both going in polar opposite directions.
As I spend time reflecting on today and both of those interactions I can’t help but remember a handful of nuggets of wisdom others have taught:
The question we should be asking ourselves isn’t “What should I do?” rather, it should be “How can I be useful?” In that question we find the direction we should really pursue.
Each day we should ask ourselves, “How have we impacted the lives of others?” This question will also help us see the positive, but it can also cut deeply and help us learn from our mistakes. Asking myself this question has led to tremendous insight into whether or not I’m living into the best version of me.
Never underestimate the power of small gestures. This was advice I’ve learned from many others, but Jim Collins summarized so concisely. Don’t hesitate to reach out and share what a positive impact someone has made on you – you never know when that is exactly what they needed at the right time. The conversation this evening was an exquisite balance of sharing my gratitude four years ago when the other person needed it and their sharing of their gratitude exactly when I needed it. The Universe dances so beautifully and moves us all exactly where we need to be if we allow it to. Never hesitate to share our gratitude or kind words, those small gestures may have an enormous positive impact on the other person and cause a ripple of positivity which will grow and grow.
Control what you can control. This was what started the conversation with my friend and I a handful of years ago and I chuckled as I re-read what I wrote for them back then. Little did I know how much the world would change and how much difficulty and challenge that phrase would get me through. Even tonight I can’t help but be reminded of how much this is a guiding light in my life – when I remember to seek the advice out for myself.
As I finally wrap this all up I can’t help but smile. My challenge still lies in front of me, but I feel more bolstered to figure it out while also remembering that there are ways to live into my purpose while doing so. I’m reminded of, and grateful for, the small gestures which help us see the world more clearly when we’ve let it get hazy. The clarity provided this evening was truly stunning and moving. If it were my story to share I would get into more detail, but that is for them. At least I can share that their motivation, selflessness, gratitude, passion, and integrity are inspiring to me, in many ways they have had a very positive impact on me.
To my friend – thank you for the incredibly positive impact you’ve had on me today. The writing of my blog was cathartic, and inspired by you. Thank you for reminding me that one misstep doesn’t define us, we have the opportunity to live into our purpose daily, and inspiring me to live into my dreams – especially when it isn’t easy.
Yesterday we helped Dominic plant trees as a part of his ongoing Eagle Scout project. There were many Scouts, parents, and siblings there to help and Dominic’s job quickly changed from planting trees to directing the volunteers. Then the media showed up and he was pulled in another direction, public relations. Throughout there were a couple of times when it was easy to see that he was frustrated with not being able to help to physically plant the trees. Several times I heard parents remind him that it is a part of leadership, changing from “doing” to “directing.” He smiled and understood, but there was still a dissonance between what he felt he should be doing and what he needed to be doing.
What an awesome leadership lesson for him to learn! We can’t do everything ourselves, we do our best work when we work with others. The role of a leader is to help show others the way and support them as they do their work. It is such a difficult change to get used to, but a necessary part of growth as a leader. I’m so thankful for the opportunity he had to learn this yesterday… and for the wonderful reminder it was for me also.
Appreciation:
Sometimes scarcity is a gift. The clarity of a tight deadline (or a couple) can really sharpen the mind to a razor edge. This week is a wild one to be sure! Thankfully I’ve planned ahead, gotten a lot loaded up, have prepped for potential curveballs, and have great people around me. Today was a study in productivity, focusing on only necessary tasks and going fast and furious. Tomorrow will be more of the same and I’ll finally take a deep breath on Thursday.
Here’s to the sensation of a deadline breathing down the back of my neck to help me kick into a higher gear to focus!
Presence:
At yoga this evening Jenn threw us a little curveball. After a very intense, hot, strenuous, and sweat soaked workout she had us pause flat on our backs for a moment.
“Take it in, the sensation of being flat on your back, your entire body relaxing into the mat. Take it in, enjoy it, be present in this moment.”
While the workout itself was kicking my butt and had my attention, I was very much focused on holding the pose or transitioning to the next while quickly swiping the sweat out of my eyes. This pause right in the middle, totally relaxed, was an entirely different type of presence. I was immersed in the sensations of laying relaxed on my back, allowing my breathing to slow back to normal, feeling my heart slip back to its normal resting rate. It was an amazing moment!
You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Completely out of the blue today I was informed of the very unexpected death of a past client, teammate, and friend. At 54 years old he was seemingly one of the most healthy individuals I know, incredibly big hearted, quick to smile and radiate positivity, and so full of life he seemed to be pulled right out of a movie. He was so incredibly vibrant in every way. Three days ago he passed away. Just like that, a light extinguished.
As my brain still grapples with the reality of his passing I keep thinking about many of the decisions I’ve made recently to live better. While my goal is to be hiking in the woods deep into my 90’s I am reminded that tomorrow is promised no one. Work towards the long term goal and dream, but enjoy the ride along the way and be thankful for each breath I am blessed to take.
While my heart weeps for my friend and his family I will sleep with a heart full of gratitude for the day I’ve been blessed to live today. 
Appreciation:
Today has been a deeply emotional day in a variety of ways. Starting the day with an excellent bike ride while watching a video of fastpacking the O Circuit in Torres del Paine in Chile. Thinking ahead to all the adventures and goals I’ve set for myself in 2024. Finding out someone passed away too young. Struggling with work stress and challenges. Taking five minutes of stillness to reset my mind and soul (more on that in a bit). Hitting an epic workout that pushed me well outside of my comfort zone but balanced out my mindset.
Highs and lows. Peaks and valleys. What’s interesting to me today is that I’m still feeling positive and optimistic today. It would be easy to let the valleys sink my heart and cause me to be more negative. It would be just as easy to gloss over the tough stuff and focus only on the positive. In either case I would not be experiencing life to its fullest. Life throws us wonderful stuff. Life throws us difficult stuff. By experiencing both we are better able to appreciate all of life.
Today has been an incredibly full day in many ways and I am grateful to have experienced it. I would love to change parts, but I can’t. What I can do is find ways to grow through each portion – delightful and stressful – and use that growth to close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. 
My responses and actions have not been perfect, but I am okay with that. I’ve lived into a better me today than I would have if I were given the same day a year or two ago. I’m grateful for making progress.
Presence:
This afternoon my brain was awash in next steps, projects, tasks, and life. I felt like I was circling a whirlpool and slowly sinking. For whatever reason I set everything down and sat at the table in my office facing my bookshelf. My eyes immediately saw the five minute hourglass on my shelf and I knew what t do next.
I shut off my phone. I closed my laptop. I closed my door. I took my shoes off. I grabbed the hourglass and set it in front of me. I took a deep breath, flipped it, and gave myself the permission AND direction to do nothing but let my mind wander as I stared at the grains slowly draining from top to bottom.
Five minutes of completely undistracted and focused time letting my mind have the space it desperately needs to be. Five minutes of quiet. Five minutes of thought. Five minutes of stillness. Five minutes of healing. Five minutes of clarity. Five minutes of de-cluttering. Five minutes of challenging myself. Five minutes of self-condemnation. Fie minutes of acceptance. Five minutes of purpose. Those five minutes were amongst the most full moments of my entire day.
In the stillness I found peace. Direction. My why. Next steps.
Honestly, it felt like an eternity before the last grain dropped. While incredibly uncomfortable, it felt profoundly soothing. I walked away with clarity, purpose, and direction. The stress and clutter was gone, only life lay ahead of me.
Taking the time to track certain activities can take a little extra time, but it is often well worth it. For clarity, not everything needs to be tracked and logged, only what is most important to our dreams and goals. Also, we have to create time to pause and review those notes to determine how to best adapt and adjust our future actions to live better into our dreams. 
As I pause and begin taking time to review 2023 I’m quickly seeing I should have carved out more time for this practice as it always seems to take longer than expected. This evening I started reviewing my reading list from 2023 and quickly caught myself drifting off to the major lessons learned throughout each book (both fiction and nonfiction). Taking time to go through the list of each book I read last year reminded me of so many things and I was surprised to see just how many pages I covered last year (61 books – down from 112 in 2022, but I felt much more balanced).
So much knowledge and wisdom can be drawn from reviewing the past year, but only if we track it. Here’s to doing more tracking and to living more closely into my dreams and goals in 2024!
Appreciation:
For the past handful of years (I think almost a decade or more) I’ve taken the week between Christmas and New Year off to spend time pausing from work. It initially started as a way to watch the boys as they didn’t have daycare & school available. Those days off created some pretty epic memories throughout the years. We’ve worked on projects, gone camping, played games, gone hiking, and have had so much bonus time together. I’m beyond appreciative for the time we’ve been able to share together! 
Not only has that time off provided opportunities with the boys, but it has also given Becky and I an opportunity to hang out a little more too. Sometimes an afternoon off, a walk over lunch, and some extra time to head out to see our families. 
This year I am also reminded of how grateful I am for the time I have to myself to pause and take a deep breath as I transition from one year to the next. Time to pause and reflect, plan, and reset. When I jump back into work I do so with a renewed fire and intensity as I’ve taken the time necessary to rest and prepare for the next push.
This time off is quickly coming to an end, I’ll be off to bed shortly after typing. As I reflect on it and think about all this time has provided my heart is full and I know I’ll be planning on this again next holiday season.
Presence:
This morning the combination of walking the dog, spending time in the woods, sharing time with family, AND drinking a hot cup of coffee on a chilly morning was magical! Our short-ish walk felt great, allowed time as a family to talk and relax, gave me a dose of fresh air, and was exactly long enough to let me start and finish my entire Yeti mug of coffee. Perfection to start the New Year!
One of the lessons I learned throughout the past 3,000+ days is that it is possible to be grateful for pretty much anything, including the totally mundane. Spending time cleaning the floors was pure medicine for the soul. It was a specific task, one with a clearly defined objective, something to be completed with the work of my hands. Whatever I task in front of me, I can choose to be grateful for it should I choose to view the task through the right lens. Gratitude is chosen, not a result of a joyful activity or moment, gratitude is the conscious choice to find joy in any situation. When I’m frustrated, bored, annoyed, or not fully engaged I always have a choice to make – be thankful for the task, no matter how mundane, and joy will follow.
Appreciation:
This morning Gavin and I took Leia out for a walk after our weightlifting practices. He was acting a little off and kind of bummed. After a short distance he apologized for not being in a talkative mood. I gave him some space and asked if he would prefer silence or me talking without expecting a response from him. He chose the former so I occasionally mentioned things I was noticing in the woods (the squirrel tracks, the eagle calls). Within ten minutes we were laughing, joking, and also enjoying moments of quiet stillness in the woods. As we were wrapping up the walk I heard him make a huge sigh of satisfaction. 
“Life is just better and easier out in the woods, isn’t it Bud,” I asked. He resoundingly agreed and shared his gratitude for taking additional time outside.
We spent the rest of the walk in peace, joking, talking, laughing, and enjoying the sights around us. Joyful, calm, at peace, appreciative.
Whether or not this specific moment will stick with Gavin for the rest of his life, it will with me. That sigh he made. The realization that the woods often has what we need to heal our souls, to ease our troubles, to help us remember to pause and appreciate the life we have. I am so grateful for that moment he experienced, and for the reminder it was to me. Dad and I shared several moments like this when we spent time together in the woods, I’m glad to have shared moments like this on to my sons as well. 
Presence:
While lifting today I decided to push myself a little further than normal. In between my normal sets I decided to see what I still have in the tank for my bench press. I loaded up the bar and hit it as hard as I could… and I surprised myself with my ability to put the weight right up! I’m sore now, but in the moment it felt amazing to push and strain to get the bar back up. Nothing else existed in the world outside of my effort and breath. One focused moment of exertion, amazing!
Today marks an incredible milestone—3,000 days of introspection, appreciation, and growth. As I reflect on this remarkable journey, I’m compelled to share the invaluable lessons these daily reflections have bestowed upon me.
The Genesis of Gratitude
It all began on September 29, 2015, a decision to pause, reflect, and document at least one thing I was grateful for each day. What started as a year-long commitment grew into an integral part of my life, shaping my perspective and mental landscape.
Embracing the GAP: Growth, Appreciation, Presence
The ethos of Growth, Appreciation, and Presence became my guiding compass. Through daily musings on personal growth, moments of profound appreciation, and the power of being present, I’ve nurtured a deeper connection with myself and the world around me.
Top 10 Lessons from a Million Words
Daily Practice Builds Consistency: Small, daily goals culminate in significant achievements. How can we harness the power of consistent, incremental efforts in our own lives?
Create Space: By minimizing “dead time” and dedicating moments to reflection, I found ample time for gratitude amidst the hustle.
Reflection Soothes the Soul: In silence, clarity emerges. Time spent introspecting has been invaluable in navigating thoughts and emotions.
Give Myself Grace: Imperfections aren’t stumbling blocks but stepping stones for learning and growth.
Journaling is Timeless: These daily entries are a gift to my future self and loved ones, an autobiography woven with gratitude.
Appreciation of the Mundane: The mundane holds profound beauty when seen through the lens of gratitude.
Proactive Gratitude Creates More: Actively seeking moments of gratitude amplifies their presence in our lives.
Appreciation in Adversity: Choosing gratitude amidst life’s storms empowers resilience.
Appreciation Creates Intentionality: Observing recurring sources of gratitude helps shape a life aligned with joy and purpose.
Choose Growth, Appreciation, Presence: This triumvirate fuels an upward spiral of fulfillment even in life’s toughest moments.
The 11th Lesson: Endless Gratitude
There’s an abundance of gratitude in the world waiting to be acknowledged. It’s not just about seeing these moments; it’s about pausing to embrace and appreciate them.
Embracing Choice and Intent
Amidst life’s uncertainties, our response remains within our control. Choosing intentionality, growth, appreciation, and presence allows us to bridge the gap between who we are and who we aspire to be.
Join Me in This Journey
To all who have supported this odyssey, your encouragement has been the wind beneath my wings. As I look forward to continuing this voyage, I invite you to share your own stories of gratitude and embark on this journey together.
Let’s choose joy. Let’s choose gratitude. Here’s to 3,000 days and the countless moments of appreciation that lie ahead.
Awareness of my body and how it responds to different stimuli can be a very powerful tool when I pause to be attentive to it.
Which foods cause me to not feel well and in which ways?
What happens when I have a very sedentary day like yesterday versus a very active day like Friday?
How is my sleep impacted by eating after 6pm as opposed to eating later?
What happens to my resting heart rate when I get less than 7 hours of sleep?
So many little nuggets of info my body attempts to share with me. Easy to ignore, profoundly impactful when heeded.
Pause and listen to your body, it is trying to tell you everything you need to know.
Appreciation:
Nothing quite like a restriction to help us appreciate what we have but not quite as abundantly as we would like. When there is a limit or a clear definition of the finite-ness of something our minds seem to focus on it with more clarity. In many ways the shortage or scarcity causes us to pause and be more attentive. What a gift! It often seems as if we want infinite this and unlimited that, but when we have that – or, more accurately, we PERCEIVE we have that – it becomes so easy to take it all for granted!
That mindset was on full display today as I did my best to soak in and appreciate each of the limited moments we had with Dominic while he was home from school. Between lunch, our hike, and our dinner I did my best to be focused in each moment shared together. While I would of course like to have more time with him it was the restriction of how much time we had together that helped me make the most of the time we had together.
Not only did this mean I was more present with him, but I was also more present with my entire family and even with myself when I was alone with my thoughts. The clarity of scarcity kept me more focused in the moment for longer today than I would have been without it.
Scarcity created abundance. Such a beautifully simple yet complex paradigm. How can I create a sense of scarcity more often to help me better stay in the moment? Finding a way to harness the benefits of scarcity in a positive way like this would significantly improve my ability to be more fully in the moment more often.
Presence:
I was going to go in a different direction in this post as I was writing most of it while waiting for Gavin’s band concert this evening. In an effort to get a clear spot to shoot video of his duet and solo I arrived quite early and utilized the bonus quiet time I’d created for myself. When I heard his solo it changed the topic of this section.
Listening to him perform his solo was awesome on so many levels. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as he knocked out the notes on his trumpet. It was amazing! To have the courage to play all by himself for a brief moment in front of a crowd, to have worked hard to earn the opportunity to do so, and then to execute in the moment were all reasons I was so proud of him in that moment. While Gavin played I was enraptured. Such an awesome moment!
I think people get old when they stop thinking about the future. If you want to find someone’s true age, listen to them. If they talk about the past and they talk about all the things that happened that they did, they’ve gotten old. If they think about their dreams, their aspirations, what they’re still looking forward to – they’re young.”
Ric Elias quoted by Peter Attia in Outlive
Truth.
Appreciation:
Stress is going to happen in our lives. Something outside of our control happens, causes an unexpected issue, and we have to figure out how to adapt to it or how to correct it. What we can control is the way we respond, the way we choose our attitudes in those moments. What really stuck out to me today is how inspiring it is to spend time with people who smile and choose joy even in moments of stress. Their positive energy is contagious and help create more smiles for all around them. It is like an upward spiral of joy in the face of stress as one person’s positive response to a challenge inspires another to smile through their stress which in they inspire someone else to choose the same path. So awesome seeing the escalation of positivity like that!!! Seeing teammates in action like this today remind me how important it is to choose the right attitude – to help ourselves AND to help others.
Presence:
When I got out of bed this morning my legs were sore! It took a hot minute to get up the courage to step out of bed and see what I had underneath me… but then everything went very well. My legs loosened up rather quickly! Once I was on my bike and got moving it seemed as if everything was back to normal. My cadence was solid and held right at 90-95 while my resistance stayed put with where it normally is. All in all, it felt pretty good.
The moment of presence I am grateful for was the hyper awareness of the sensations in my leg muscles and elsewhere throughout my body today. In an action as simple as turning my torso I can feel the muscles that were worked yesterday and I paid extra attention to how they were feeling. It is not often that I put that much focus into the sensations within my body, it was pretty enlightening today!
I met with a personal trainer today and he was asking a bunch of questions to help me build the right exercise plan. As we were talking I caught myself talking about how much I already know about weightlifting. In a stroke of divine awareness I realized what I was doing and apologized. I shared that the reason I was there was because my past workouts never quite did exactly what I’d wanted, and that was why I was talking to an expert – for THEIR advice. As soon as I flipped the switch from thinking I needed to not sound like I didn’t know what I was doing to thinking that I am a beginner and need all the help I can get everything changed for the better so quickly. I was picking up on things I’d never realized and was seeing a more clear and accurate picture of how everything works together.
Ego is such a bastard sometimes. In trying to not “look bad” I get in my own way of learning, the exact opposite of the growth mindset I work to cultivate. Here’s to realizing when the ego need to be shut down (almost all the time!).
Appreciation:
When I pause to take time to listen to the vibes the Universe is sending I’m surrounded by so many positive reaffirmations of heading in the right direction. Recently a couple of common themes have been slowly percolating to the surface and are helping me see how I really should shift in a couple of very positive ways – focusing more letting go (ego), remembering to take care of my physical health as I have nothing without it, and remembering to keep my purpose in mind as I choose actions. As I pause and listen (maybe observe is a better word for it… ?) the awareness really kicks in and helps me see the right line. Without diving too deeply into the details, I’m grateful for the awareness of the right direction.
Presence:
Over the past 24 hours there have been many ghosts of vacations past coming to visit! Gavin shared his treasure trove of vacation knickknacks last night. I dreamt of trips to Iceland and New Zealand. Gavin mentioned our trip to Iceland in a different conversation. During two different conversations I talked about two different vacation experiences. All around me were moments of presence in a conversation as a direct result of a past vacation experience.
If anyone reading this is questioning whether or not they should take a vacation – the answer is YES!!! Schedule a trip, it will blow your mind on so many levels, open your mind to so many new things, AND provide so many moments of presence in the future.
Thankful for Forty 