Tag: mental-health

Thankful for Intentionally Chosen Trade Offs, Quiet, & Track Regionals

Day 3,151

Growth:

Very interesting idea during a “spontaneous group therapy” from a business call this morning. While the conversation went in a few different random directions there was a central thought I kept coming back to. I wrote it up on my whiteboard to help it sink a bit more deeply.

What are the trade offs I am willing to accept? Am I intentionally choosing them or am I just allowing them to happen? What are the trade offs I have unintentionally accepted?

Me

Rather than allowing something to happen through “gravity” or “drifting” I should only intentionally make trade offs. Intentionality helps me choose the right obstacles to face and which to avoid in order to live into my purpose and dreams. By not choosing I am allowing pull of gravity or the drifting of life to dictate where I go – which may or may not lead towards where I want to end up.

Zoom out, choose the right trade offs, be okay with them, and keep the focus on what is most important.

Appreciation:

This morning on my drive to work I did something I don’t usually do and it made all the difference in the productivity of my day. I started the drive with my audiobook but then quickly turned it off and enjoyed the ride in silence. My brain needed space to think. It was almost as if the sound bath from last night broke some ideas loose and they needed to full flush themselves out of my brain before I could fully focus. While it set me backwards in my book it really moved my day forward in all the right ways. I had a much more concise plan of attack for the day. I had more time to put together right solutions. Most importantly, I gave my brain time to breathe and relax. It was exactly what I needed to get mentally prepped for the day.

Presence:

What a difference a year makes in the level of stress in watching the boy’s sporting events!

Last year for Regionals (and Sectionals and State) I was so amped up, worked up, and all nervous I could hardly sit still. Knowing that each race was potentially Dominic’s last high school sporting event ever had me all twisted and torqued up! In the previous years there was always a little nervousness, but it wasn’t anything like Dominic’s senior season last year.

Fast forward to this year’s Regionals and watching Gavin compete in pole vaulting and the 4×800 while also being an alternate on the 4×400. I was relaxed and laid back, I thoroughly enjoyed each second of each event and all without the feeling like I could throw up at any minute. Of course I want him and his teammates to compete well and give their all, but there’s not the same sense of finality as there was last year. It was extra peaceful for sure!

Here’s to remembering that it is all a game, all for fun, and all a way to measure the hard work put in throughout preseason and season. Watching with less stress was so much more chill!

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Reminders of the Impermanence of Life, Making Progress, & Peace in 5 Minutes

Day 3,020

Growth:

You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Completely out of the blue today I was informed of the very unexpected death of a past client, teammate, and friend. At 54 years old he was seemingly one of the most healthy individuals I know, incredibly big hearted, quick to smile and radiate positivity, and so full of life he seemed to be pulled right out of a movie. He was so incredibly vibrant in every way. Three days ago he passed away. Just like that, a light extinguished.

As my brain still grapples with the reality of his passing I keep thinking about many of the decisions I’ve made recently to live better. While my goal is to be hiking in the woods deep into my 90’s I am reminded that tomorrow is promised no one. Work towards the long term goal and dream, but enjoy the ride along the way and be thankful for each breath I am blessed to take.

While my heart weeps for my friend and his family I will sleep with a heart full of gratitude for the day I’ve been blessed to live today. 

Appreciation:

Today has been a deeply emotional day in a variety of ways. Starting the day with an excellent bike ride while watching a video of fastpacking the O Circuit in Torres del Paine in Chile. Thinking ahead to all the adventures and goals I’ve set for myself in 2024. Finding out someone passed away too young. Struggling with work stress and challenges. Taking five minutes of stillness to reset my mind and soul (more on that in a bit). Hitting an epic workout that pushed me well outside of my comfort zone but balanced out my mindset.

Highs and lows. Peaks and valleys. What’s interesting to me today is that I’m still feeling positive and optimistic today. It would be easy to let the valleys sink my heart and cause me to be more negative. It would be just as easy to gloss over the tough stuff and focus only on the positive. In either case I would not be experiencing life to its fullest. Life throws us wonderful stuff. Life throws us difficult stuff. By experiencing both we are better able to appreciate all of life.

Today has been an incredibly full day in many ways and I am grateful to have experienced it. I would love to change parts, but I can’t. What I can do is find ways to grow through each portion – delightful and stressful – and use that growth to close the gap between who I am and who I am called to be. 

My responses and actions have not been perfect, but I am okay with that. I’ve lived into a better me today than I would have if I were given the same day a year or two ago. I’m grateful for making progress.

Presence:

This afternoon my brain was awash in next steps, projects, tasks, and life.  I felt like I was circling a whirlpool and slowly sinking.  For whatever reason I set everything down and sat at the table in my office facing my bookshelf.  My eyes immediately saw the five minute hourglass on my shelf and I knew what t do next.

I shut off my phone.  I closed my laptop.  I closed my door.  I took my shoes off.  I grabbed the hourglass and set it in front of me.  I took a deep breath, flipped it, and gave myself the permission AND direction to do nothing but let my mind wander as I stared at the grains slowly draining from top to bottom.

Five minutes of completely undistracted and focused time letting my mind have the space it desperately needs to be.  Five minutes of quiet.  Five minutes of thought.  Five minutes of stillness.  Five minutes of healing.  Five minutes of clarity.  Five minutes of de-cluttering.  Five minutes of challenging myself.  Five minutes of self-condemnation.  Fie minutes of acceptance.  Five minutes of purpose.  Those five minutes were amongst the most full moments of my entire day.

In the stillness I found peace.  Direction.  My why.  Next steps.

Honestly, it felt like an eternity before the last grain dropped.  While incredibly uncomfortable, it felt profoundly soothing.  I walked away with clarity, purpose, and direction.  The stress and clutter was gone, only life lay ahead of me.

In five minutes I found peace.

Thanks!!!

Thankful for Young vs Old, Escalating Positivity, & Body Awareness

Day 2,993

Growth:

I think people get old when they stop thinking about the future. If you want to find someone’s true age, listen to them. If they talk about the past and they talk about all the things that happened that they did, they’ve gotten old. If they think about their dreams, their aspirations, what they’re still looking forward to – they’re young.”

Ric Elias quoted by Peter Attia in Outlive

Truth.

Appreciation:

Stress is going to happen in our lives. Something outside of our control happens, causes an unexpected issue, and we have to figure out how to adapt to it or how to correct it. What we can control is the way we respond, the way we choose our attitudes in those moments. What really stuck out to me today is how inspiring it is to spend time with people who smile and choose joy even in moments of stress. Their positive energy is contagious and help create more smiles for all around them. It is like an upward spiral of joy in the face of stress as one person’s positive response to a challenge inspires another to smile through their stress which in they inspire someone else to choose the same path. So awesome seeing the escalation of positivity like that!!! Seeing teammates in action like this today remind me how important it is to choose the right attitude – to help ourselves AND to help others.

Presence:

When I got out of bed this morning my legs were sore! It took a hot minute to get up the courage to step out of bed and see what I had underneath me… but then everything went very well. My legs loosened up rather quickly! Once I was on my bike and got moving it seemed as if everything was back to normal. My cadence was solid and held right at 90-95 while my resistance stayed put with where it normally is. All in all, it felt pretty good.

The moment of presence I am grateful for was the hyper awareness of the sensations in my leg muscles and elsewhere throughout my body today. In an action as simple as turning my torso I can feel the muscles that were worked yesterday and I paid extra attention to how they were feeling. It is not often that I put that much focus into the sensations within my body, it was pretty enlightening today!

Thanks!!!