Today was a wonderful reminder of the power of journaling. My blog post from four years ago popped up and flooded me with so many memories. Had I not taken the time to write my thoughts down I would have likely forgotten a day like this.
“Gratitude leads to abundance. Abundance leads to giving. Giving leads to joy.”
Becky and I were expecting to have a quiet house to the two of us after our hike this morning. As luck would have it we had both boys and their girlfriends for the majority of the day and evening! So many games and laughs, dinner as a family – all completely unexpected and greatly appreciated! Times like these are always moments I am grateful for.
Presence:
During our hike we reached a very scenic viewpoint just before the storm and rain rolled in. As I recorded the video below the wind picked up, the temperature dropped, and everything in the air seemed to shift as if there was an immense inhale. What a moment! Nothing quite like the moment the front rolls in.
Look backwards for forward growth rather than for what might have been. One enriches, the other devours joy.
Appreciation:
Nothing like running in the rain and then racing a thunderstorm! What an awesome start to my day!
For real, the sensation of voluntarily running in a relatively warm rain is sublime. To have the addition of pre-storm electricity in the air made it all the more intensely satisfying. By the end I didn’t even mind losing to the storm and being swallowed by the rain, it was beautiful and my heart was full of joy.
Presence:
The moment the lightning struck almost on cue! Wowza!!!
Full disclosure, my mental diet has been loaded with possibly too much Neil Gaiman reflections, stories, and ideas as of late – if there is such a thing.
Have you ever met a person who at some deep visceral level you could tell that they were more than a person?
Yesterday I had the opportunity to do a little bit of trail running in between Gavin’s races and I found this beautiful rocky valley just a short drive away.
As I ran into the valley, I just had to pause and take it all in. Surrounded by beautiful rock walls that had been carved out by thousands and thousands of years of water slowly cutting through the rock from the glacial activity, I was completely alone.
There were roots holding trees up at impossible angles right on edges of the cliffs where no tree should be able to exist. And yet there they all were.
When I hit the end of the trail I just paused and soaked it all in, and savored a moment by the little waterfall. I stood on a couple of the big rocks right in the middle of the canyon and just took it all in with each of my senses.
As I was walking back, I encountered someone who just seemed to be more than just a someone. In so many ways, they seemed to be the incarnation of that area that I was in. They seemed to have been carved out of the surrounding environment, their eyes the same dark brown as the surrounding rock walls, their hair blowing in the valley breeze as if one with the shadows created by the swaying leaves.
They had said they’d been here many times before, it’s one of their favorite places on earth. Their face lights up as they say this as the sun shines on the rocks over their shoulder.
There was this sly smile on their face, a smile that was so knowing, almost as if to say, “I’m going to tell you about these other places to go, these other trails here, but I’m not going to tell you about all of them because you have to find and experience them yourself, you have to come back.”
And there was just something about them that was just so similar to the enchanting landscape surrounding me. Even the surreally intricate tattoo of a feather on their right forearm seemed to have been plucked off the floor of the valley after having recently dropped by an eagle soaring by. It was incredibly intense and yet the edges of memory are already starting to slightly fray as a dream does throughout the morning.
I don’t know a better way to explain it other than I met someone, someone who was more than someone. They were of the valley.
Sometimes opportunities present themselves at seemingly inopportune times, but we feel compelled to take them regardless of logic. those “nudges” seem to never fail to produce amazing results when heeded.
By taking on an opportunity to do some training I stumbled upon a powerful. well timed, and much needed focus on self reflection. To built this I needed to pause and look back over the past 20ish years to observe the results of actions and inactions without emotion, rather with the scalpels of logic and reason. Through that process was discomfort for sure, but also smiles of past successes and so many opportunities for growth and improvement. There are so many ways in which this has helped me more clearly see the gap between who I am and who I am called to be.
Had I passed on this opportunity I would have had more time to focus on other things – busyness which will still need to be attended – but I would not have had this opportunity to learn and grow. What a gift it has been!
Appreciation:
This might sound cheesy, but there’s a quote which has been bouncing through my soul thru the past few days. In many ways it sums up so much of what I am most grateful for this evening.
“Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is.
We are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.”
Master Yoda 😉
While the source may be a bit too much for some, the sentiment and truth of the quote cannot be overstated.
How much brighter is the world if we all choose to help each other be better than ourselves? By helping to raise others up we create joy for all.
Presence:
That moment went you know that you are exactly where you are meant to be and doing exactly what you are meant to be doing, and a part of something much bigger than yourself. It opens the mind to ideas of how much we could all accomplish working together, sharing openly, and living into who we were meant to be. Today’s Express Leadership Academy training was a moment which will continue to inspire me to remember the beauty of “we” over “me.”
The concept of Antifragility has really been hitting home for me. Funny how the combination of examples from the actual book didn’t quite sink in fully, but these ongoing nudges have kept coming from so many other sources. I’m pretty sure Taleb’s book , Antifragile, has been referenced in no fewer than four books I’ve read in the past six months!
Here’s the concept in a nutshell. Many things are fragile. If I drop a coffee mug onto stone it breaks. It is fragile.
A stainless steel Yeti might survive the fall as it is durable. That said, it doesn’t get hurt, but it also does not get better due to the fall.
Something which is antifragile gets better specifically because it was hurt or broken. In so many ways humans are antifragile – it is in discomfort and frustration and challenge in which we grow stronger. Consider weightlifting, the lifting of heavy weight cause micro tears in the muscle which then heal stronger than before, thus they get better due to the break.
In so much of our lives we avoid discomfort, but quite often that avoidance stunts our growth. We also actively work to prevent those we love from experiencing discomfort, which often hurts them more in the long run.
A note to Future Mike – lean into the discomfort! Help push others towards discomfort! Remember though that discomfort is good, but don’t let them or yourself complete break being repair
Appreciation:
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal
Many years ago I was introduced to this quote and it has rocked my brain ever since. It is so easy to stay “busy” and not take the quiet time needed to think.
Honestly, I think that is one of the reasons I’ve been blogging like this for the past 3,000+ days… it is a self enforced daily ritual of sitting alone with my thoughts to pause and process the day and all of its experiences.
In preparation for tomorrow’s presentation I’ve had to spend time alone with my thoughts and my old journals as I sift through past experiences which have led you to today. All of that time focused on reflection and introspection are so different from the usual chaos filled days of hard work. I’m taking this time to reflect I’m also seeing so many opportunities to grow into a better version of myself. Had I not put this training together so many of these insights may have been lost to the future.
Here’s to taking the time to pause, reflect, and sit quietly in my room (which I’m literally doing right now).
Presence:
This evening I was blessed to have dinner with some of my favorite people, some of our Express Leadership Academy (ELA) family. So many insightful conversations, sharing of stories, and so many laughs! While I don’t have many opportunities to hang out with them IRL like this I’m amazed at how quickly it feels like I’m hanging out with old friends who get me and accept me as I am. For reals, it feels like I’ve known them all for many years. What an awesome start to my quick trip to OKC!
Today I was working on the last of the testing and set up for recording the audio version of my book (which you can learn more about here). I’ve got the pseudo-studio in Dominic’s bedroom closet ready to go with soundproofing, I’ve got all the equipment set up, I’ve got my recording app (Audacity) all set, and did a couple of test runs to see what I’m getting myself into. At this point I know I will be able to record well and in a format that will get uploaded to ACX (Audible.com) and other websites. All I need to do now is the hard work, recording 😉
What I was reminded of today is how grateful I am for all of the online resources we have available to make projects like this easier. Being able to hop on YouTube to learn about recording, using Google to find how to upload and install a plugin for the application, and then stumbling upon advice to e more successful was a total godsend! Having such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom at our fingertips like this is something I don’t take time to appreciate often enough.
Appreciation:
For the past decade and a half our house has been a largely loud and crazy place. Whether it was chasing the boys, playing with the dogs, or hanging out with friends it seems like our house was always a place of busyness. Today it is only Leia and I. Gavin and Becky are on a trip in France and Dominic is in college. Such a crazy and drastic change!
Within this quiet has been a huge focus on productivity. I put together a fairly large list of what I want to accomplish this weekend and I’ve already made some serious headway on it. Additionally, with the definite lack of conversation there’s been so much time to think and contemplate while I am getting things done. The quiet has been uncanny – almost like when I did my solo writing retreat and solo backpacking trip – but in an even more interesting way as it is in the place which is usually the center of conversation.
I know without question that I prefer the busyness and conversations within our home, but there is a magic to this stillness that I am thankful for in small doses. It reminds me of a book I read not too long ago about someone who has almost completely withdrawn from the rest of society. He pops back in every so often just to stay sane before fading back into the wilderness. In my case it seems like I need to fade into the background of solitude every so often before jumping back into real life in order to hold more tightly to my sanity.
I miss the time with my family, but I am appreciative for the time I have alone. It is certainly a time of healing, rejuvenation, and focus – so long as I choose to utilize it that way. I am reminded of the old quote by Blaise Pascal:
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal
Here’s to enjoying that quiet time in a room alone.
Presence:
This morning Leia and I went for a little hike on a beautiful trail just off of Fisherman’s Road and enjoyed some outside time in the sun. She took her time to sniff everything possible as we slowly worked our way along the out and back trail. It was easy to see she was loving the outside time in the woods as much (possibly even a little more than) I was.
This afternoon she was getting a little squirrelly so I thought we’d take on our second hike of the day. After a very short distance she was walking very fast and starting to pull on her leash. Even though I was not prepped for a trail run – I was wearing cargo shorts and no socks – I decided it was time to test her out with some trail running. Seeing as she’s a puppy we’ve been slowly building up her distance, I haven’t taken her for a trail run yet. I hit the gas, she smiled, and then all I saw was her backside… until she would suddenly dart off the trail to stop and smell something!
Other than her smell breaks we ran well over three quarters of the trail together and it was awesome!!! I am not sure which of us was smiling bigger by the time we were done. Definitely a moment I’ll remember forever, kind of like the time I took LuLu running solo with me back in the day. Moments like that are pure gold.
It seems as if we all go through “funks” in our lives. You know, those times when we aren’t fully happy, we feel a little down, and like there’s almost something missing in our life. Sometimes they feel like I am in a room in which all the light bulbs have either gone out or are fading fast rather than being outside on sunny day. Regardless of how you describe them, they really kind of suck and are not where we want to hang out often.
There have been a handful of “funks” I’ve lived through. Each had its own suffering, but as I look back each was something I grew through. When I was much younger I descended into a deep funk and as I grew through it I learned the importance of inner happiness rather than looking outwards and focusing on the opinions of other people. Another funk in my early thirties helped me see I needed to take better care of myself physically which also led to a huge growth in self discipline. Before I turned thirty nine I was enveloped in a funk that eventually became the creation of this blog and focused my attention to appreciation and changed my life in profound ways.
In between there have been small funks which registered small growth. There’ve also been larger funks that I really don’t want to dive into in this format that led to larger growth in other directions. Throughout life there has always been, and seems that there will always be, ups and downs in my mood. Often there is joy and elation, but there are also funks.
At one point in life I’d argue that we should never be in a funk, that it is as simple as choosing happiness instead. What I’ve been learning more and more is that funks are a counterbalance to joy, but also a creation of joy. Through those difficult times we find our growth, we create future joy. They still hurt when we suffer through them, but if we pause and realize they can be a tool for us to grow closer to who we are called to be.
That’s where my head has gone this evening. I thought about those past funks and saw the growth they resulted in. Their pain is still there, but is has been numbed by the growth that has come since. As I work through what feels like the tail end of a funk my mindset changed drastically after a simple question crossed my mind.
In a moment of emotion, singing out loud to an awesome song with my moonroof open (more on that in the Presence section), the question appeared and brought a moment of absolute stillness and honest contemplation.
“What is the purpose of this funk?”
What is the purpose of this funk? What am I learning through this? How do I need to grow as highlighted by this funk? Something must be off or wrong if I am feeling this way – what is it, what caused it, how do I change it? Why is this specific funk hitting now? When I work through this how will I be closer to closing the gap between who I am and who I am called to be?
“What is the purpose of this funk?”
As I thought through the question I had several rapid fire thoughts which I will share honestly and openly. For clarity, I still have much to consider in this, but these were the starting points:
Learning how much is truly out of my control no matter how much I want to be in control
Choosing a path, being bold, not settling for the path of least resistance, not drifting, acting intentionally
Realizing what is truly important to me, manifesting more of the opportunities which fit my strengths
Making a choice rather than hedging my bets
Learning to let go, that I can only accomplish so much, not trying to do everything
Thinking through this list brought up so many ideas to struggle with and through. What was interesting though was that rather than feeling like I was in a funk it was an acceptance of not being 100% joyful as I would like to be and seeing that working through this would help me get closer to that state.
Another interesting insight – it is not the goal of living a perfectly joyful life, rather it is to enjoy the struggle and the journey towards that goal. Definitely an idea to come back to later.
Tonight I’m really grateful for the question – “What is the purpose of my funk?” It has helped me transform a feeling of almost helplessness into a tool for growth, a source of future joy. If you’re currently in a funk of your own try asking yourself that question, who knows where it may take you!
Appreciation:
I am grateful for the way so many moments worked out today to help create the mindset and the mental and emotional space to work through that thought above. As I type my blog I can’t help but be thankful for this process of daily journaling and blogging to help my mind work through so many of these thoughts. In the past I would have maybe had the moment of insight and then lost it into the recesses of my brain, never to be seen again. By writing this thought process down today I can come back to it in the future, I work through the concept more completely through writing, and – even though it is incredibly humbling to open myself up like this to whomever happens to read this – to live more closely into my personal purpose of brightening lives through shared experiences.
This process, this ritual, this habit… what a gift!!!
The reflection of the mountains and trees resonated with me as I wrote tonight – enjoy!
Presence:
My drive home from Menomonie was rather epic this evening! I opted for some music rather than audiobook or podcast, opened up the moonroof, and sang my butt off. It started as an opportunity to let loose some energy, to relax. What’s wild is that is was exactly at this time with my guard completely down and I was unencumbered by any intentional thought that the concept in the Growth section broke loose and became reality.
That moment of letting go to emotion completely led to some of the best thought processes I’ve had in quite some time. Force it and it doesn’t work, forget it and it comes alive. Such an eye opening reminder to let my brain relax and work its own way to where it needs to go.
What a ride home it was today! While waiting at a red light I was rear ended. I pulled to the side of the road, saw there was damage, and then got back in to pull over in a safer place. While I did that the driver of the other car hit the gas and drove away.
Rather than getting angry I took a deep breath – heeding my advice from yesterday’s blog. I calmly called the police and they were able to get everything rolling. While I sat in the car and awaited further instruction I took another deep breath and started typing this blog.
I would normally have gotten very upset in a situation like this. Having just written about this very topic only yesterday helped me remember that what was done was done, there was no point in wasting emotional energy over it. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks! 😉
Appreciation:
Way back in the day a friend really caught my attention by asking a very simple question.
“Are you okay? You don’t seem yourself.”
For ways I’ll keep to myself that question literally altered the direction of my life for the better. I can honestly say the likelihood of my life being the same is almost zero thanks to her moment of focus, concern, and caring. I learned so many valuable lessons in that moment – about myself, life, and others. It was transformative.
The question was simple, the intent heartfelt, the impact profound. I appreciate that question, that moment, and that friend tremendously.
Presence:
Sometimes we must listen with more than our ears. I know, technically you can only “hear” with your ears, but I swear there are other ways to “listen” to other people. Today I’m thankful I paused to really listen and take the appropriate action. I’m also thankful for the moment I described above as that helped me see the right action to take to help.
The growth moment for today is one which has presented itself in a handful of ways over the past week or two. The lesson has shown up as a very clearly and directly as well as undervocer as a metaphor and as a lived example of why it is important. All around me are these clues and gestures which point to a better way of being.
The lesson? There’ve been a handful of subtle variations but at its core is this…
Count to three, take a deep breath, and then respond. Don’t react immediately, take a moment to pause and think, and then take action.
So wonderfully simple and easy, yet wildly difficult. So much more work to put into my practice of doing this correctly.
Appreciation:
My gratitude today comes as a result of a few different articles in APNews.com recently. I am so blessed, fortunate, and grateful for my life in this country. While I drive with my family to go for a leisurely hike in the bluffs there are so many people living through unspeakable challenges throughout the world. The situation I live in each day is very fortunate and I’m thankful for the life I’m able to live. My heart aches for those in difficult situations, I know I must do better to help others who need it.
Presence:
Hiking in the bluffs always brings about such calm. The smell of the woods mixed with the spectacular vistas could help me lose myself in the beauty of the present in an instant.
What really jumped out to me today was something truly exquisite. While atop the ridge of a bluff we looked over the expanse of the Mississippi River Valley. So many trees, plants, rock formations, backwaters, and so on along the river, beauty ot be found everywhere. Where I lost myself in the present during that time was when my eyes chanced upon a single maple in blazing red standing all alone amongst a sea of green leaves. It was simply stunning.
At a dinner with friend this evening we spent some time talking about a variety of topics, one in particular really caught my attention. For a number of years the story of Shackleton and the Endurance has been one I’ve wanted to learn more about. Two of the people I was talking with got into a discussion about that specific story. In less than ten minutes of conversation I was hopping into my Audible account to add South to my wish list. Why add this to the “Growth” section today? Reading is one of my favorite things, the opportunity to learn new things is always high on my list. Hearing these stories had me re-energized to learn more about this incredible journey.
Appreciation:
I’ve been going pretty hard for quite a few straight weeks now and definitely was feeling it. After taking LuLu for a walk in the sun I listened to my body and took a nap. It was glorious! I’m so thankul for taking a moment (or twenty) to rest, relax, and recharge. The rest of the day was much improved as a result.
Presence:
At the Maple Leaf Parade for Oktoberfest in La Crosse I had the opportunity to spend a little bit of time with one of my teammates. I met more of her family, spent time joking around and shooting the bull, and enjoyed their company. It was awesome! As I walked back to the rest of my family I realized how great it was to be 100% in the moment with my teammate and her family, to have great conversation, and to enjoy their company. Good stuff!
Thankful for Forty 